"Thank you."

"Thank you?" He raised his eyebrows: "Hey, in fact, I'm more miserable than you think?" ”

I said, "I know your situation. ”

"That's just listening." He gently pinched the cigarette butt and said, "It's like I heard you say this, and just listen." It sounds pitiful, but it doesn't seem to be miserable enough. ”

I said, "I'm not saying this to be sympathetic, I'm just trying to say it." ”

"I know." "But I never wanted to say it," he said. ”

I couldn't help but be stunned.

"You're hurt, so you're in pain. I am miserable because it is a disgrace. "The higher you climb, the stronger the shame," he said. It was given to me by others, and it was given to me by myself. ”

I remember that Fanyin told me that Pu Lan's biological mother was a female branch girl. I'm not an authentic lady from a wealthy family, so I don't know what this means, but I can see the full disdain on Fanyin's face at the time, obviously, in his heart, or rather, in their worldview, this is Pulan's "short".

I said, "As long as you are excellent, your background can be changed, not to mention that your father has a good background." ”

He shook his head: "It can't be changed." ”

I said, "Actually, in this world, as long as you become a talent, all the shadows can be erased, not to mention that it is not your fault......"

"It can't be changed." He repeated it again, and said helplessly: "My mother is still alive, collapsed in bed, and I go to see her occasionally, and she still keeps asking me for money." When she sent me back, I missed her, and she missed me too, and often came to see me. I'm afraid that she will have a hard time, take some pocket money to her, she has been taking it for more than 20 years, when I was in college, I began to pay off her gambling debts, she gambled until last year, not because her conscience found out to quit gambling, but because she couldn't walk. Not only that, but she also took drugs, smoked marijuana, felt dissatisfied, and smoked K powder, which I stopped many times, but I still found out that she had touched heroin. But fortunately, now that she can't stand up and is slumped in bed, I have figured out that even if she has cancer, even if it is for hospice care, I will never give her a single morphine. ”

Indeed, when I said it, I only thought it was a sentence, and when I heard him talk about it in detail, I realized that it was too shocking.

When he said this, he paused, and said, "Actually, I have money for her, but I hate her." She gave birth to me from beginning to end was a use, and it was just a use, and I lived my life like this, I wanted to break up with her, but she was too miserable, and I still had to take care of her. ”

I asked, "Do you feel that pain?" ”

"Pain." "But that was before, when I realized that there really was such a person in this world, and I was no longer in pain," he said. ”

I didn't understand, so I didn't speak.

How can there be a mother who doesn't love her child? When I miss her, although it is the same as the process of traditional sound, my liking for her is from the heart, and I can't even control it.

I've struggled for so long in days like this, and incompetence is certainly one thing, and on the other hand, it's really for the sake of the children. Who can not hurt the flesh that fell from their own body?

He glanced at me, then smiled, and said, "The reason why I am telling you this is to persuade you to think differently. In this world, there is really a part of the parents who really don't love you. No whitewashing, no matter what they say, no matter what you say. Just like some parents who treasure their ugly, stupid and naughty children, no matter how good their children are, these parents will not love them. Moreover, such parents often lack the ability to love others, and for them, children are not to inherit their love, nor to enrich each other's lives, but to use, to seek their fame and fortune, to seek half of their lives, or to seek an heir, to seek other ...... Fundamentally, they don't deserve to be parents, and, no matter how hard a child tries, they can't change them. ”

I couldn't help but feel a huge shock in my heart, and I didn't speak.

I've always thought that my parents are invincible, after all, I am really not good enough, and my adoptive father is indeed quite demanding. Although Fanyin's parents have brought him harm, their feelings for him are unquestionable. No one is wrong, it's just that we have all been affected, and Fanyin has even been tortured by this pile of at home to give birth to such a serious illness. Why? I don't know. Anyway, it hurts on our own.

I didn't think that maybe my adoptive father didn't love me in the first place, and it wasn't because I was good or bad, but because he didn't love me at all. I believe that Fanyin would not dare to think of the old man like this.

"Do you understand?" He said: "If you understand, you will really feel a lot easier, you will understand that you don't have to behave in front of him anymore, and you don't have to suffer from his attitude, and naturally you don't have to feel that no one will love you." Even if it is a female monkey, after giving birth, she may abandon her baby monkey due to hormonal reasons and let it starve to death, which is one of the laws of nature. It's not your fault, you're just out of luck. ”

I said, "But if he's my biological father......"

"What does it have to do with being born and being adopted?" "The source of your pain is that he is your father, which is not affected by birth and adoption, that he is your father, and you think that he is the only one for you," he said. But you're not, maybe he wants you just out of necessity, or maybe it's just satisfying his kindness, after all, your father believes in Buddhism. In any case, it is not for the purpose of wanting a child and bringing it to the home to love. He doesn't love you, so what's the difference between being biological or adopting? And you don't need him for a long time. You already have your own home, you have the ability to create everything about yourself, and you have the ability to believe that there are many people in this world who love you, like me. ”

The last three words startled me, and I couldn't help but laugh: "Your words become so fast." ”

He also smiled: "Fast? I've been talking about it for so long, but it's all for the last three words. ”

"Okay. Thank you. I said, "If what I say is true, then I will answer it seriously, I will not ......."

"Alright." He interrupted me: "Don't say it. ”

I breathed a sigh of relief and said no more.

After a moment of silence, I saw that he had lit another cigarette and looked like he wanted to talk for a while. Today's conversation has given me a new understanding of him, and I feel a lot of differences, but I would like to talk to him for a while, and then I said, "Actually, I still have a tangled matter. ”

"I know, I don't want to give up my child." He sighed and said, "I think it's going to be sent, and the lesser of two evils is the lesser of two evils." ”

"But my family is already very sensible." I said, "But she is not very sensible, and if I send her away without explanation, she will definitely be sad." But if she explained, she would be even sadder. ”

He nodded and said, "I think it's just a deception." ”

"Liar?"

"Tell her dad is sick." He said: "Dad wants to treat the disease, the disease will be contagious, my sister is too young, she has to go over there, she is an older sister, she has to take care of her sister." ”

It's a good idea, and Nian Nian also knows that her father is sick. I said, "But my husband hasn't come back yet, and he didn't tell her before he left that he would be cured." ”

"Just call him."

"How?"

"Isn't that easy?" He said as he gestured with his index finger and thumb to a pistol pose.

Pu Lan even guessed this, does this prove that my IQ is too low, or is he too high? I can't help but feel a little uneasy, I originally expected my adoptive father to help me think of some tricks, but now with his attitude, I have to fend for myself.

I couldn't help but say, "You're so smart." ”

"I knew what you came to talk to your dad about, but it fell apart." He said, "I will not give you advice, lest you fear that I will harm you." Anyway, you have to be careful, things are difficult outside, and your mother-in-law is also troublesome. There is no mother-in-law in this world who is willing to let her daughter-in-law catch her son, but she also transferred her granddaughter. ”

I said, "I know, but if I don't transfer, my mother-in-law will definitely use the child to blackmail me into doing things." They weren't particularly worried about my husband's situation, because I was the one who endured the most, and I was the one who suffered the most, so they all felt that there was hope, but I couldn't. ”

He nodded, "I understand, but I do think your idea is too stupid. You can't fight your mother-in-law. ”

"Fightable." I still know a little bit about Mrs. Han, and I said, "Frankly, I'm just a little uneasy about what's going on outside. As for my mother-in-law, it was much easier to deal with. ”

He raised his eyebrows: "What do you mean?" ”

"I want you to help." I said, "Although you did a good job of braised pork, I also had a good job of pulling the strings, didn't I?" ”

He laughed again: "It is enough to ask me to do things by my face, not by wisdom." But...... Do you want to eat braised pork tomorrow? ”

"Uh...... I don't like to eat, but my daughter does. ”

"I'll make it for you to eat, be careful not to flash your tongue." As he spoke, he pinched the cigarette butt and said, "It's almost dawn, go to sleep." ”

I said, "Good night." ”

"I don't sleep." He was already walking in, and his voice was getting farther and farther away: "I'll go pick a good piece of meat." ”

Then I lay on the bed for a while, and my heart was a little more comfortable because of Pu Lan's words. If you think about what he said, it is actually not unreasonable. If I hadn't gotten close to Pu Lan, then even if Mrs. Han was dissatisfied, she wouldn't have done anything. But if you want to deal with the outside affairs, you have to get closer, and then you will inevitably offend Mrs. Han.

But it doesn't matter, this part is still in my hands now, after all, Mrs. Han is a person who can communicate.

I slept until ten o'clock this night, and it was Nian Nian who yelled at me, because Lianyin wanted to feed, and cried a ball, but the nurse brought her, but she couldn't coax her. Nian Nian was so anxious to get me up, and when I came out, Nian Nian was very responsible, especially for my sister, who looked like a bit of a domineering sister.

After feeding the children, I cleaned up the building and took them outside for a walk and sunbathing. At the door, he saw Pu Lan, who was teasing his two ferrets, alert little creatures that he had raised like dogs, turning their bellies and waiting for him to take turns petting them.