If you want to say what I am most afraid of in this life, there are no more than three things,

Mother's chatter, the end of the semester, the daughter-in-law's phone,

The last thing has to be explained, of course, ordinary phone calls are not afraid, the question is that if there are more than a dozen misses, then I can wait for death,

Usually when I sleep, my mobile phone is generally in silent mode, for fear of being woken up and not sleeping well.

I was in too much of a hurry this morning, and I forgot to change the mode of my mobile phone, and this fateful scene happened.

trembling with his mobile phone, he answered the phone ruthlessly,

"Mortal."

The voice on the other end was very low, and when I heard this, I began to break out in a cold sweat on my forehead, and it seemed that my daughter-in-law was in a bad mood

"Daughter-in-law, I was in class just now, and I didn't hear me."

In order to die not too ugly for a while, I can only find some reason, otherwise I will definitely die without a body.

She doesn't care if you're in class or sleeping, as long as you don't answer, it's looking for death.

But there are also good places, my daughter-in-law usually doesn't call after 12 o'clock in the evening, which makes me very comforted.

"Fart, you dare to fool the old lady, Lao Song said that you were in a daze and didn't answer the phone, saying, who are you thinking about?"

Hearing this, I strengthened my determination to slaughter Lao Song, chopped up and put it in a plastic bag to feed the grass and mud horses.

"I'm thinking about you." Smiled hypocritically, and cast the skill of pulling the calf quite thoroughly,

"I heard that you two went to the women's dormitory in the morning to molest people, and you can go there casually."

Ouch, I'll go, there are a lot of small reports in this school, it's only been a few dozen minutes, and even my daughter-in-law knows about it.

But you can't blame me for this, if you're late, you're going to fail.

After a long time of bitter explanation, my daughter-in-law's words suddenly brought tears to my eyes: "You waited for my mother in the classroom, and I chopped you if I dared to run after class." ”

It's over, it's really over this time, it's dead

When a strong man dies, it is lighter than a feather, or heavier than Mount Tai, and he is also dead today, and he is also dead when he has a big plan.

Lao Tzu is not convinced, he is really not convinced, and his brother is not convinced,

Of course, I'm not rebelling, I'm planning to drag Lao Song into the water, brother, if there is a problem,

glanced at Lao Song, who was reading the novel, and secretly took out his mobile phone and sent a text message to Xiao Qian, which was as follows,

"Xiao Qian, I'm a mortal, I'll tell you a secret~ Lao Song was talking to a woman downstairs in the bedroom today, Lao Song's expression was very coquettish, you can look at it."

After sending this text message, I still felt a little embarrassed and didn't give it a good idea, so I sent another one,

"If I were you, I wouldn't be able to bear it, smacking him would be light, and if this grandson would dare to flirt with a woman in the future."

smiled slightly, put the mobile phone in his arms, and hid his merit and fame,

In less than three minutes, Lao Song's mobile phone rang slowly, and I lay on the table and watched all this quietly.

As soon as he answered the phone and didn't say a few words, Lao Song's tears suddenly came down, and he said in a low voice: "Xiaoqian, don't cry, I really didn't do this, don't tell you Sister Ye, she will kill me." ”

"Fanzi, Lao Tzu wants to play free fighting with you."

After a while, the phone over there suddenly hung up, and Old Song suddenly became angry, slapped the table and yelled,

Old Song, old Song, you don't say anything about your IQ, you dare to do this without seeing whose class it is,

"Song Ren, come to my office after class." The instructor sneered: "You dare to be so presumptuous in my class, it is really a death sentence." ”

"It has nothing to do with me, it really has nothing to do with me." I smiled innocently and blinked innocently, as if I didn't know everything that was going on,

At this moment, the bell rang for the end of class, and what did this bell mean, it meant that my time of death had arrived

"It doesn't matter if I die, you must die worse than me." Lao Song pursed his lips disdainfully, and walked out with the guide,

Originally, I felt a lot more comfortable in my heart, Lao Song's words directly made me lose my temper, and Master Zu blessed me for a while, and I didn't die too miserably

I took a deep breath, with a perfect smile on the corner of my mouth, and looked out of the door with an innocent appearance, ready to move my daughter-in-law with my sincerity,

"Qi Fan."

A loud roar scared me, and it seemed that I couldn't stand it, and I didn't wait for my sincerity to estimate that my daughter-in-law was killed in seconds.

He turned around with a smile, scratched his head and looked at his daughter-in-law and said, "What, why did you come in through the back door, you haven't eaten, you're hungry." ”

Ye Qingzheng stared at me with raised eyebrows, his mouth pursed involuntarily, sat down next to me and asked, "What are you doing in the women's dormitory in the morning, hurry up, and, where is that grandson of Lao Song, I will clean him up." ”

Tell me, what kind of rhythm is this, what kind of rhythm is this,

This is the rhythm of the east of the trouble, old Song Wow, the dead Taoist friend is not dead and poor, I'm sorry for you,

After my explanation, I also used a lot of spring and autumn brushwork to delete and reduce, from the beginning of the panic to the current triumphant, I changed quite quickly,

"So that's the case, I'll just say how do you go back to the women's dormitory, I'm sorry for you."

My daughter-in-law looked at me embarrassedly, hugged my arm and shook it gently: "Don't be angry with me." ”

"How can I be angry with you, I'm that kind of person." I said with a righteous heart, my heart was secretly refreshed, the disaster was successful, and I asked my daughter-in-law to give me a coquette, Lao Tzu is so smart,

Six o'clock in the evening, dinner time, the place is a small restaurant outside the campus,

Smelling the fragrance of vegetables in the air, I smiled with relief, this boss has a tendency to change the evil and return to the right, it turns out that there is gutter oil in every dish, and now the gutter oil content in each dish is much less.

In fact, I am too young to understand the market, and in this world, the price of gutter oil has also risen.

"Uncle and aunt told me to go back to dinner with you tomorrow." My daughter-in-law kept putting vegetables in my bowl, looked at me with a smile, leaned into my ear and said, "Uncle and aunt don't seem to hate me." ”

"Nonsense, they can hate their daughter-in-law." I replied cheerfully,

The atmosphere seems to be very harmonious, even a little warm, you just ignore the resentful old Song,

This grandson was by me like this today, and he collapsed directly, first educated by the guide for more than an hour, and then was beaten by my daughter-in-law and cried and cried.

"You are really a brother" Lao Song saw that I ignored him, and said through gritted teeth,

"Nonsense, we're brothers, good brothers." I exclaimed,

I really thought that Lao Song could be shameless, and I also learned a lot of cheeky knowledge from him.

When talking to Lao Song, you have to tear off one side of your face and stick it to the other side.

On one side is shameless, on the other side is a two-skin face, otherwise it is really ridiculous to mock Lao Song,

After dinner, I took my daughter-in-law for a walk in the school, planning to eat tofu to take advantage, but thinking about the consequences, I resolutely gave up this unrealistic idea.

was thinking wildly, only to hear his daughter-in-law chuckle: "I'll make something delicious tomorrow, doesn't my uncle love sweet and sour pork ribs, I'll make it." ”

"Well, I love to eat too." I giggled,

"What, can I kiss you?"

Pretending to be stupid is my strength, and I don't give my daughter-in-law a chance to refute, so I leaned up to her mouth and said, "If you don't speak, you agree, you can't beat me." ”

"You stinky rascal."