To be honest, I never believed that there were ghosts in this world, what Confucius said, what Marx said, what Freud said, teachers taught us to believe in science from an early age, and as a communist successor who was preparing for the next and had been preparing for twenty-five years, I was convinced of this. Pen "Fun" Pavilion www.biquge.info

To this day, I died. Yes, I was really unlucky, I got up early in the morning in order to draft a speech for the leader, and through a series of basic skills such as spitting, stepping on my feet, and pretending to be crazy, I finally squeezed into the first subway. After getting off the subway, I was standing on the balance car and was about to rush to the company, and I collided with a car. Floating in the air, looking at myself with the same head as Saqima, I hated it in my heart, I knew that I wouldn't buy any balance bikes! You say I'm just hanging up, what if the country can't find a successor? The second fat next door also sent me a drink, and I guess I haven't come back. Xiao Zhang in the office is still fifty yuan short of me, by the way, I still owe Lao Wang a thousand, it seems that I still earned. The question is, what should I do if the 100G island love story film in the rental computer is discovered?

As I was thinking about it, I suddenly noticed that there were more and more people around me. "What a pity this young man is!" An old lady sighed. The girl next to her took out her mobile phone and took a picture of my Saqima head while posting it to Moments, I took a look, and I only polished my skin and whitened it, which was too unparticular.

"Handsome guy, can you see me?" I was angry when an obscene voice came from behind me, startling me. As soon as I turned my head, an old face that was worse than my voice appeared in front of me. "You're dead." The old man said to me quietly. Isn't this nonsense? I was about to speak, when the old man's next sentence completely conquered me. "You can still return the yang...... But there is a price to pay. "I suddenly had a premonition that the chrysanthemum was not guaranteed.

I felt it was necessary to introduce myself before telling this story. My name is Liu Wei, and I work in a small half-dead state-owned enterprise, and it is my greatest wish to make a living. My friends call me Viagra. Originally, this title accompanied me for more than ten years without any problems, until a small blue pill made in the United States came in, and I began to tragedy.

Our company is a manufacturer of blowers. Yes, it's the kind that is commonly used in small restaurants outside, but with the popularity of natural gas, the company's benefits are not as good as day by day. The boss decided to develop new products to expand the market, so now we also sell hair dryers, razors and so on. Today is the day of payroll, but I was hit by a car and died.

"My name is Wang Lao Wu, you can also call me Wu Ye. You are destined for this. Originally, according to the book of life and death, you would only have bruised your arm. But the judge drank too much at the wedding of Hades' brother-in-law, so you died. After Wang Lao Wu finished speaking, he looked at me with a regretful face.

"You guys are sloppy with human life! You are blatantically violating the Eight Rules! "I was so angry that I jumped to my feet. These bureaucrats! In other words, although I Ah Wei has not done anything earth-shattering, I also helped my grandmother cross the road when I was in elementary school, and I also gave up my seat to my grandfather when I was in junior high school. Yes, I threw firecrackers into the pit when I was in the toilet with the second fat, and he smashed the glass of our house first. I stuffed a caterpillar in Wang Xiaoli's pencil case, who asked her to give a small report to the teacher that I read the villain book. Even if it's all my fault, it's not a sin that leads to death.

"To make up for our mistakes, we came up with two plans. First, we add your longevity to make you come back to life. "That's it, just come back to life!" "Are you sure? Ah, if I were you, I wouldn't have chosen this anyway. Wandering around every day with a Sachima head on his head, tsk, it would be better to buy a toilet sleeve and pretend to be a paladin. Wang Lao Wu looked at "me" lying on the ground with a wicked smile on his face.

It's all because I didn't think it through, I can't eat with such a head every day, let alone others, and I guess I'll have to starve to death in a few days. "What about the second one?"

"The second one is troublesome, we will resurrect you first, and then restore you to your original state, which will cost a lot of mana. So you're going to have to pay some price. "At what cost?" I have made up my mind, as long as I don't want Lao Tzu's kidney, it's easy to say anything.

"Don't worry, we won't want your kidney, and we can't roast it." Wang Lao Wu seemed to know what I was thinking. "As long as you occasionally help the underworld settle things and catch a ghost or something." "But why do you have a crush on me? Am I so talented? "First, not everyone thinks you will be as unlucky as you and will be mistaken for Yangshou. Second, the prefecture is now short of funds, you look at the present, hiring a mason is at least 300 a day! Don't worry, we won't give you too difficult tasks, after all, if you die, it will be difficult for us to approve us to hire people again without a valid reason. If you agree, just put a mudra here. Seeing that I finished pressing the handprint, Old Man Wang looked at me affectionately and said: "From today on, you are a supernumerary member of the underworld, I know what you have to ask, there is no salary!" I'm your immediate boss, and I'll keep you informed of any tasks. You are mentally prepared. "What about the equipment? You have to give me some of the golden hoop stick, the Qiankun circle or something, and then you can't get a Captain America shield, or Thor's hammer, do you have to transform my body? Open the eyes of the sky, strengthen a power or something. I always feel that my body is not as good as before, and I am panting for breath on the fifth floor, and my urine is beginning to fork. "Do you think the prefecture has plenty of money? Okay, if you have the time to quarrel with your grandfather, it's better to think about how to be more reliable on your own! After that, I stepped on my balance bike and disappeared. Why don't you kill this old thing?

When I woke up again, I was in the hospital. The two little nurses next to him were chatting, "This man is too fatal, he was hit by a car, and he just bruised his arm." It's just that he is too timid, and such a little skin trauma actually scared him out. I got up and looked at my right finger, and the red mud reminded me that what had just happened was true, not a dream.

In this way, I, a material dog who was living in a small half-dead state-owned enterprise, turned out to be a supernumerary member of the prefecture. It is still the kind of "three nos" personnel who have no funds, no equipment, and no superpowers. When he was lamenting the impermanence of life, the phone suddenly rang, and it was Lao Gou, the director of the office. Lao Gou is the kind of typical old fritter who is flattering and bullying, and we all call him "old dog" behind our backs. "What's going on? Haven't made it to the office yet? Is the manuscript finished? Do you want to do it anymore? Yes? (Please note that the word "ah" must be pronounced twice to prolong the sound.) ）

What is the spirit? Isn't he just a little section chief? Lao Tzu is now a person from the underworld! Thinking about it like this, my waist suddenly stiffened, "Director Gou, there was just a small accident, and it will be there soon, and it will be there immediately." "It's not that I'm spineless, the key is to eat other people's food, and I have to be managed by others. Although the company is not very good, the money that can be sent is enough to fill the stomach, plus a skewer once a week, besides, this month's salary hasn't arrived yet.

"This is the bullshit you wrote?" When Lao Gou said this, I knew that something was wrong. Quickly bowed his head and apologized, taking advantage of the time to bend over, he avoided the paper that was about to fall on his face and avoided the danger of breaking his appearance. When I walked out of Lao Gou's office with the manuscript, I thought of the reason, my buddy has been working for more than a year, and he hasn't given him a gift yet. But he didn't blame me for this, when he first joined the work, Lao Gou told us about the company's corporate culture, saying that the biggest feature of the company is integrity, if anyone dares to give him a gift, he will criticize whom, I take it seriously, I am tragic.

Back in the office, looking at the computer, which was probably older than me, I felt pain when I looked at the manuscript, and I was pulling my hair straight at the manuscript. The more I thought about it, the more angry I became, so I kicked open the door of Lao Gou's office, slammed the manuscript on his face, and told him that Lao Tzu was no longer serving. This feeling is cool! "Hemorrhoids again?" Lao Wang looked at me with a concerned face. Still don't let people live? Don't even have the freedom to fantasize? I want to crash headfirst on a computer.

I hurriedly ate a meat bun at noon, and rushed to the office with my head down, what are you doing? Of course, it's a revised draft. Just as I was about to pass by my boss's office, I heard the familiar sound of a dog licking gruel. A friend wants to ask, what is this sound? I guarantee you've heard a lot of it, but what you listen to usually has Japanese dubbing such as "Yiku" and "Ya Yan Butterfly". Just as I was leaning on the door and listening, my phone rang. "Who?" Male and female voices rang out inside at the same time. Supposedly, I should have hugged my head and ran away at this time, but when I ran, I actually answered the boss's question, "It's not me!" ”

"Who am I? Where am I from? "This is the fundamental question of philosophy. Just when I was thinking about the difference between "self" and "self", Lao Gou pushed the door and came in. "Congratulations, you've been fired. Now go to the HR Department to go through the formalities, and by the way, go to the Finance Department to collect your salary. "No, my boss and I have met in the elevator at most twice since I started working, and he can't hear me." I went back to the office at noon to pick up something and saw you, hehe. I picked up the teacup on the table and smashed it on Lao Gou's head, blood mixed with tea and running down the cracks between his fingers covering his head. Actually, you should have told me earlier. "I looked at Lao Gou with regret on my face." Earlier, you wouldn't have smashed me? "I can clearly feel Lao Gou's puzzlement." At that time, the tea was still hot! "I'm getting more and more of a teacup like a good thing. It can drink water in normal times, can be used as a weapon in critical moments, and if there is hot water, the damage effect is increased by at least 50%. I used it in later fights.