The dinner was sumptuous, and Wang Lili cooked some of her favorite dishes for me: mapo tofu, spicy shredded chicken, cold cabbage heart and fried anchovy shrimp. The dessert at the end of the meal is fruit soup, which is the kind of soup with assorted canned food and some small white balls, which is smooth and sweet to drink.

After the meal, I was willing to gamble and lose in the kitchen to clean the dishes and chopsticks, and Wang Lili went to the bathroom to take a bath. After I finished cleaning up, I took out a can of American ginseng tea from the refrigerator, and after brewing it, I drank the tea, watched TV, and waited for Xiao Nizi to come out to accompany me after taking a bath.

And, the happiest thing for me is that as the night falls, the shameless people are all back to their respective homes, and I feel that the time to test me is coming, oh yes!

"Husband, hand me the bath towel!" Just when I was full of all kinds of spring palace pictures, Wang Lili shouted at me in the bathroom, which gave me excitement, three steps and two steps rushed into the bathroom, I wanted to have a mandarin duck to play in the water, but just handed the bath towel to Wang Lili's hand, I especially felt that my stomach began to feel uncomfortable.

Fortunately, there are two bathrooms in this Nizi's house, and I ran towards the other bathroom, but as soon as I ran to the living room, my magic machine Nokia rang out.

Next Ao your uncle, on the one hand, there is excrement about to come out of the chrysanthemum, and on the other hand, it may be a very important call, I have to make a choice among them, Tai Nima is difficult!

Fight, it's rare for a timid general to sit! I resisted Chrysanthemum's protest against my willpower, ran to the coffee table, grabbed my phone, and went to the bathroom.

Fortunately, it was just in time, and the moment I took off my pants, a torrent gushed out, but the accompanying sharp pain almost made me fall to my knees in front of the toilet. I'm the next Olympics! Why does it hurt so much!

I endured the severe pain and glanced into the toilet. Like Aunt Nimalai, it's red, okay, I know it should be blood in the stool.

I just want to poop quietly, and I dwell on nostalgia. In the past, when I had a bowel movement, I would feel very sad and sad, as if every cell in my body had been lost from my body.

I don't like the feeling of pulling it all at once, I will slowly expel the discarded things in my body in an orderly manner, read a magazine by the way, listen to some sad music or something, so as to make me more sad.

The faint glare on the ceiling, a little warm, a little confused, I would poop at this time, and every time I would look up at the ceiling at a 45-degree angle, what a painful sadness it was.

When the poop falls from my body and falls into the water again, I think sadly, as if everything has been washed away by the torrent of time. We are all displaced. It turns out that the poop will be sad, and it will be as sad as I am.

The bubble that turned out to be washed away is not the same bubble as the one I pulled out next time. It turns out that looking up at the ceiling at a 45-degree angle can make people pull even more miserable, and it turns out that I am sad that the that has passed away is just like the passing of us. I looked up, put up my pants, and looked at the blood-stained poop in the toilet, and I was in pain.

It took half a roll of toilet paper to wipe it clean, and then I was horrified to find that my aunt's pad on my underwear was already bloodstained. Luckily, I found a bag of aunt towels under the vanity mirror and took the opportunity to change one over my underwear.

Then he glanced at the caller ID, it was Brother Cao's, so he called back, "What's the matter, Brother Cao?" "I don't know if it's related to blood in the stool, I'm a little overdrawn at the moment, and now that I think about it, I'm scared.

"Brother, you said that square dance disturbed the people, I have thought of a way." Brother Cao's voice was full of excitement.

"Oh, tell me about it?" I asked weakly.

"One day you take me over, and I'll make a little trick for the place where the old ladies dance, and keep it so that the more they dance, the worse their bodies become, and they have nightmares at night." Brother Cao said with a wicked smile.

"Okay, I'll call you tomorrow when I'll go to Anshan and sell fish." At this moment, I really don't have the heart to dwell on this, I just want to find a place to lie down as soon as possible, I'm sorry for you, Chrysanthemum!

"Okay, I'll wait for your call." After speaking, Brother Cao hung up the phone.

I didn't even have the strength to abuse the sky, and then I walked towards the bedroom with my hands on my waist like an eight-month-old pregnant woman.

When I opened the bedroom door, I found that Wang Lili was wearing a leopard print short skirt uniform, a pair of high-waisted leather boots, and black stockings hooking her fingers at me.

I'm the next Olympics! What chrysanthemum remnants? What is the deficiency of qi and blood? What dandles of sorrow? Roll out of the way, I instantly resurrected with blood and demons on the spot, two hot breaths spewed out of my nose, and rushed in, for a while, the room was full of spring!

You know, the five major artifacts that interest men: 1. Leopard print, 2. Short skirt, 3. Stockings, 4. Long boots, 5. Steel pipe. And the only person who meets this condition is the Monkey King!

Similarly, there are five major artifacts that interest women: 1. High worth, 2. domineering, 3. Secure, 4. Protective of you, 5. Dedicated to you. The only one who meets this condition is the Tibetan mastiff. To sum it up: men love goblins! Women love beasts!

In order not to be scolded as a beast, I fired all the ammunition in my body, and then hugged the soft girl in my arms, panting, and lying happily on the bed.

Wang Lili was satisfied with her hair and circled my chest, "Happy? "Yes!" "Satisfied?" "Yes!"

Seeing that I answered her with one word every time, Wang Lili changed the question and asked, "What do you say a woman is in this life?" ”

After thinking about it, I replied: "A princess for twenty years, a queen for one day, a concubine for ten months, a nanny for a lifetime, this is a woman's life." ”

"Damn, husband, you're too talented." Wang Lili didn't expect me to summarize it so incisively, so she scolded in admiration. However, this Nizi continued to ask energetically, "What about a man's life?" ”

I smiled and immediately replied: "Twenty years of traitors, one day of emperors, ten months of eunuchs, and a lifetime of loyal ministers, this is the life of a man." After that, I closed my eyes tiredly and prepared for a good night's sleep.

In fact, Wang Lili's mistake is that she still doesn't know enough about men, you must know that the calmest time for men is when he runs out of ammunition, at this time, any problem is not a problem.

Just when I was about to fall asleep, Wang Lili pushed me and asked in a low voice, "Did you sleep?"

I lazily said, "No, it's almost there." ”

Wang Lili said: "Then you go and cook a bowl of noodles for me, I am hungry by you." ”

I had an idea and said, "What did you just say?" ”

Wang Lili said, "Let you cook a bowl of noodles for me." ”

I pretended to be stupid and said, "Not this sentence, the previous sentence." ”

Wang Lili said stupidly: "Have you slept?" ”

I closed my eyes: "Sleep..."

"You hate it!" Wang Lili pinched my thighs vigorously, and I woke up decisively while crying out in pain.

Well, I must admit that the most uncool time for women is precisely when men run out of ammunition.

to be continued