"In charge of the yang world. I Am the King of Men

Chapter 1: (Folklore)

Author: Long Zun Tingbo

Who said that there is no impermanence in the world, and a mourning hall is set up after death.

The ghosts of the netherworld are busy locking their souls, so they must first ask the king of the yang world.

Hello everyone, I'm the first class of junior high school, Jia Jieyi, this name sounds very awkward, Jieyi sounds like undressing, you say undressing, undressing! is also surnamed Jia,

It's like my name, fake undressing has never really undressed girls from elementary school to middle school, hey, looking at the one-on-one dog men and women on campus, I am shameless, walking on the playground and kissing my mother, it's not a shame, I scolded in my heart.

Oh, I'm grass, Gaha (what are you doing in Northeast dialect) came next to a boy, average, thin face, I looked back, it was my classmate Sun Dan (shan pinyin four sounds) Ren, Sun Danren walked towards me while scolding with a hippie smile; Are you thinking that grapes must be sour, haha.

bitter if you get out of the calf, it's bitter. I scolded angrily.

Sun Danren and I have been good friends since we were children, and we are used to scolding, and Sun Danren is not angry at all. It's no wonder that the two of us have such a good relationship, and both of our names can be combined, which together is the most famous idiom "Empathetic Clothes".

Sun Danren looked at me with a smile and said: Hey, I said, you can hold back enough, you haven't had a girlfriend from elementary school to middle school, hey, to be honest, are you repulsive to the opposite sex, and the same sex cherishes each other.

I'll send you ten big words, how fucking far away, fucking far, I'm fucking gay and have already made your asshole bloom, grass. I scolded impatiently, and at this time five or six more boys came in the distance, and one of the sleepy-eyed boys spoke up; Jia Monkey, King Jing, I can be considered to have found the two of you.

I, Jia Jieyi (nicknamed Jia Monkey), because I grew thin pants when I was in school, only wore two feet one waistband, although the appearance is reasonable, but at that time, I went to the Internet café every day, skipped class to learn to smoke, so my cheeks were a little pitted (thin and out of phase), as the saying goes, the face is yellow and thin, and the cheeks have no flesh, so you don't need to look at it, just take a look. It may also be because of this reason, so there are no girls who take the initiative to date me.

Sun Danren (nicknamed Jingwang) heard his name, and I had the same mental experience, that is, I never had a girlfriend, I always masturbated myself, once in class, I was at the last table, because I like to make trouble, the teacher did not give the same table for fear of affecting others' learning, you said that the teacher is also fucking bad, the whole school, more than 30 classes, just fuck the four years of the class is a slow class, are not good at learning, boys like to fight, girls like to find a class in these fights in the campus scum. Who the fuck can influence to learn, Sun Danren is really bored, so he took out a wooden stick and began to imitate the action of masturbating to amuse us, a girl next to him saw it and jokingly shouted: Oops, why did you take your brother (second brother) down, at that time Sun Danren came to say: Call your mother, make your face, I play with my brother, I have a relationship with you, and as a result, I was taken to the teaching office by the teacher, and was criticized by the instructor for education, the teacher, the principal, the director, all know that this class is a well-known person in the whole school, I don't offend me, I don't offend, if someone wants to offend me, I will pay back three points, if someone commits me again, I will smash his door, and if someone commits me, I will dig up a campus scenery class of his ancestral grave. It's useless no matter how hard you fight, and it's about to graduate, so the principal and the teachers don't want to get into trouble digging the ancestral grave in the future, so they said a few words that must be said, and they didn't care anymore, and since then we have given him a name that has made a great contribution to infertility, King Jing.

Sun Danren and I, looking at this kid who came over, was in his own class, Zhao Zhiqiang, I heard that his name was given by his grandfather, which means that he can be ambitious in the future and stronger than Wuzhou. is domineering enough to be worthy of being cultured by the older generation. But please pay attention to the name of the fourth friend who will appear soon.

I looked at the five people behind Zhao Zhiqiang and replied: Gaha, Zhao Laozi is going to catch the foreign school and sing the national anthem again.

Zhao Zhiqiang (nicknamed Zhao Lao Yuzi) is a super capable guy as the name suggests, and the girls around him are better looking than the other, this person is not ugly, but it can't be called a handsome guy, but the declining brother is indeed worthy of the name. I remember once I was whipped during the Chinese New Year and got my cotton pants on, afraid that I would be his mother when I went home

Scolding stood outside and froze for 3 hours, the winter in the Northeast can be imagined, go out to pee with a stick, while urinating and knocking, although this is a bit exaggerated, but if you find a park to sleep in at night, you will have to freeze to death. Later, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I could only go home hard, but I felt sorry for the parents of the world, and my mother saw it

He froze into that b-like, not only did he not beat him, but he was afraid that he would get sick and quickly gave him a hot bath, and then let him go to the kang against the wall of fire to cover him with a big quilt to keep warm.

Sing a fart national anthem, I saw the kid who beat Shi Qiuzi last time, let's go and help Shi Qiuzi avenge. Zhao Zhiqiang scolded angrily.

Grass go and squeeze out the two of the kids, let's play the pot (boiling the pot is a kind of popping glass balls, that is, drawing a square on the ground and putting the glass balls in, whoever pops the glass balls inside, it is who's) I scolded excitedly.

Sun Danren shouted: I finally caught that kid, hurry up, where is it, don't let him run away.

It's at the Silver Star Internet Cafe! Zhao Zhiqiang said.

All of us walked to the Silver Star Internet Cafe, led by the three of us, Sun Danren, and Zhao Zhiqiang, followed by 5 little b cubs in the third year of junior high school (little minions can not be introduced)

The three of them plus the Shi Qiuzi just mentioned are the 4 giants in the fourth year, and they can't be said to be the invincible masters of the whole school in the school, but no one in the school dares to bully it, it is well deserved, and the brothers are beaten, how can there be no reason not to take revenge.

Here is the original name of Shi Qiuzi

Formerly known as Shi Houjian (nicknamed Shi Qiuzi), not because of anything else, he is short in stature, with a height of 1.58 meters, the first in the height ranking of the class (penultimate in the ranking), cheerful personality, and humorous and funny. Among the 4 people, he has the most bad eyes, and the teacher said that he has a lot of eyes and can't keep his height (height) long. But his bad intentions in addition to the four good brothers to play fruitless, to anyone is able to play a certain effect, even his father, he is fooling, remember once, his father wanted to rush to the Mid-Autumn Festival, to the leader to send a box of moon cakes, specially bought Harbin well-known moon cakes Lao Dingfeng (a box of 15 pieces) as a result, he stole the moon cakes, we 5 good buddies (we also have a good buddy) one person three pieces of food scum left, after eating, we asked him you go home, your dad is not Xiao (beat) you! He smiled, took out a plastic bag from his arms, we looked at the head full of black lines, a piece of rhubarb mud, and finally we started, the handicraft in the art class, according to the gourd painting scoop pinched up the moon cake, and finally his father knew, to beat him, he drilled into his grandfather's house, his grandfather protected him, and scolded his father, his grandfather said: You still have a face to beat him, you were better than him when you were young (the Northeast dialect is the waist is naughty), pee on my tobacco leaves, so that I have to dry, and then roll cigarettes, A smell of urine, go back to your house, Shi Qiuzi's father is a well-known filial son, and he didn't dare to make the old man angry, Shi Qiuzi avoided this beating. Ha ha

This time, the four of us are here, and I will say the name again: I, Jia Jieyi (undressing), Sun Danren (good man), Zhao Zhiqiang (Zhiqiang), Shi Hou Jian (later traitor), combined together, good at understanding people, and strong after clothes

In a blink of an eye, our group came to the Internet café, Zhao Zhiqiang told us that it was that kid, I followed his fingers to look, I grass this buddy is too sharp, a head of green hair is fucking explosive, scolding in the mouth, is playing the most famous voice game at the time "9 chat", I didn't say a word to the front of Ya, patted the back of his neck stalk, the explosive green hair, looked back at me, said: Something.

I asked, "Is Silver Star fun?"

Ya's return: It's okay, but the network speed is too slow, and I can't grab the microphone.

Oh my, I thought I'd talk to you, I thought to myself.

I was so quick that I went up with a big mouth, and then I kicked him in the face with a combo, because he was sitting, and my foot didn't have to be raised too high to get it.

There was also a white hair next to him who got up and wanted to fight back, only to see Zhao Zhiqiang on the bench and smashed the white hair, and then there was the most famous fight scene at that time, circle kicking.

Two dog baskets lying on the ground, by our 3 main players plus 5 backup players, this head massage (of course, with their feet pressed on the rubbing)

Sun Danren on the side was massaging him, and he kept scolding in his mouth, grass you! Let the two of you play "The Legend of the White Snake".

I squirted, and I thought to myself: My grass grandson Shan Ren's b language is so rich. Hahaha!

Because the Internet café is not far from the police station, we quickly decided to fight, and after the fight, we all fled.

The five little minions returned to the campus, and the three of us had nothing to do, so we wanted to go where to play at night, Sun Danren proposed that there would be a meteor shower at night, and it would be best to find a wild place to see it at night, because my family bought a building at that time and had just finished moving. The old bungalow had not been sold yet, so I told them: go to my old bungalow in Shatuozi at night

Watch meteor showers, and still have a place to live. Because at that time, the move did not remove everything. A lot of cotton bedding was left, and there were coals and mud (wooden strips) in the yard.

After I finished speaking, everyone voted unanimously. We found Shi Houjian and told him about helping him avenge him today. He was so moved that he wanted to give us a rub. We looked at each other, haha, dinner was over for the night. So we talked to Shi Houjian about the plan to watch the meteor shower at night, because several of us belong to it.

Half-grown Tao boy, so as long as you make up a nonsense with your family in advance about where to play at night, and don't go home at night, your parents won't care if you know it's safe.

In the evening we came to my family's old house and bought some bread, crispy noodles, pickles, ham sausages and the like, of course they were all bought by Shi Houjian.

I opened the door, the four of us went inside, I started lighting the stove, we ate and drank and played poker for a while. Because during the day, except for Shi Hou Jian, the three of us did some physical work (fighting). So Sun Danren and Zhao Zhiqiang both said that they were a little sleepy and wanted to sleep for a while. When I got up at 12 o'clock in the middle of the night to watch the meteor shower, there was an alarm watch in my old house, and I took it out and it rang at 11.30.

The four of us lay down on the kang and fell asleep.

At 11.30 o'clock, the alarm clock rang on time, I got up first, and then woke up the three lazy pigs, and the four of us put on our own cotton jackets, and I took out four military coats in the box on my kang. The four of us put on military coats, and our heads exploded, this image. It seems to be a sketch performed by Huang Hong and Song Dandan, and the appearance of Huang Hong in the superborn guerrillas. The first thing that came to my mind was the copycat plus a funny version of Meteor Garden F4

Because behind my old house, there is a dam (river embankment). On the dam, there is an old river bridge on the left side along the dam for 40 minutes, there is a bridge guard under the bridge (when I was a child, I often went there to play), walk along the right side of the dam for more than 1 hour to arrive, the edge of Harbin city, and then go forward, the township (Dongfeng Town).

We got on the dam and walked to the right, because it was a T-junction on the right side of the road where cars were not allowed to run, so it was very quiet, and we didn't have to go far, just 10 minutes away, and there was a high bridge over a graveyard (not the Laojiang Bridge I just mentioned, but a small bridge)

I only felt that there was too much water in my body, and I wanted to open the gate to release water, so I said to the three of them: You go forward, I splash it. The three of them answered me and walked straight away. And I came, next to a tree, and opened the sluice gate to release water.

It was this pee splash that changed my thoughts in the future.

To be honest, I wasn't scared when I was fighting, but at 12 o'clock in the morning, when I was standing alone on an uninhabited dam with a cemetery in front of me, I was a little hairy in my heart, and my only thought was, hurry up and catch up with them.

I peed with my head down, and all of a sudden, a hand reached out from behind the tree and grabbed my left arm. Who said that people will pee their pants when they are greatly frightened, when people are frightened in an instant, they will be like me, every part of the body will shrink, even the urine is I subconsciously raised my head, it doesn't matter, I almost didn't pull over, a head appeared behind the tree, and it was a weird smile to me, I saw his facial features clearly, thin eyes, melon seed face, cherry small mouth, lips are very red, and there is a yellow paper tip on his head.

Before I could recover my senses, I saw him open his mouth and say to me, "Look at me like a man, like a god."

I thought to myself: You're like your mother, but I didn't dare to say it.

Because I remember when I was a child, I heard the old man say that Hu Huang worships the moon for cultivation, and it is a person and an immortal. That is to say, every full moon, the fox or the yellow skin (weasel) will stand with two hind legs, and the two front legs will keep worshipping the moon, and the growth of the way, when it can transform into a human form, must meet a destined person, and then ask the other party whether he is like a human or like a god, if this person says that it is like a human, it can become a human form, from the fourth of the six reincarnations (animal path), to the second (human), if the person says it is like a god, it will be from the animal path, If you ascend to the third of the six realms (the Asura Path), you will also become a wild immortal. Then absorb the essence of the destined person in front of him and damage his longevity. But if you scold him, his deeds will be nullified, and with it will be revenge on you. It is said that Huang Pizi is extremely vindictive.

Here is an introduction to the "Three Realms and Six Paths", the Three Realms are heaven, earth and man, also called the Three Talents, and the Six Realms are, Heaven Dao, Human, Asura Dao, Animal Dao, Hungry Ghost Dao, Hell Dao. (Excerpt from: The Treasure of Life.) It's not me making it up)

I'm grass, it's really fake, isn't this the topic of the people's after-dinner pastime? Isn't this yellow-skinned wild fairy just from folklore? How can such a thing really exist! Legends are not stories, Grimm's fairy tales and Chinese folklore are two different concepts entirely. In the past, I always listened to legends as stories, and at that moment I finally understood that legends are real things, but few people have seen them and called them legends, but it doesn't mean that there are none, stories are two fucking things.

I was numb, for the first time I felt that my legs didn't listen to me, I wanted to run but my legs couldn't move, I didn't dare to talk to the "Legend Man" in front of me, because I hadn't lived enough! Giving you Yangshou is tantamount to asking for a dead end, who will do the loss-making business, but what to do, I can't run away, I don't dare to say yet, I'm going to collapse, and at this moment I'm in trouble again. Foresee how to do it and listen to the book break it down.

(This is my first time writing a book, please bear with me if you are not satisfied)