It's night, or summer, it's strange, this year's Harbin fever is inexplicable, and it's really unacceptable for inexplicability.

Northeast people are frost resistant or not heat-resistant, this is true, during the day, the people on the street can't stand the heat, one by one the head of the machine is white-faced, it seems to be walking around the central street, making people self-inflicted and burning.

If you want to say that I don't know what's wrong, this year's climate has been very abnormal, the snow at the beginning of the year is nothing, Ruixue is a good year, but you say that it still snows at the end of April, it's a bit too much, this 'harvest year' is long enough, so that the old farmers burst into tears, so that the chicks who wear short skirts and fall off the horses are embarrassed.

Some people froze to death in cotton pants, but others were still alive in stockings.

Zhang Shifei thinks so, at this moment he is squatting at the door of a KTV in the city of Harbin looking at the sky of this egg, holding the phone in his hand and sticking it to his ear, obviously impatient, at this time the night seems to have just woken up, the lights are red and green, from time to time from the KTV around him can also walk some young women with thin young surnames, their clear leather skirt suits, net socks on the body make people have a visual enjoyment that seems to have caught a mermaid.

Zhang Shifei, 21 years old this year, unemployed vagrant, standard parents and parents, do not love the motherland and do not love the master of the party, because his parents have some money, so after graduating from college, he has become an idle person in society, anyway, he does not worry about food and clothing, so it is his profession to be idle, and it is his dream to eat and wait for death.

Those little girls are the ladies in this nightclub, Zhang Shifei knows them, it seems that they came out to breathe and eat popsicles, and they also know Zhang Shifei, because Zhang Shifei is a frequent visitor here, so some of them smiled ambiguously at him and licked the ice cream in their hands.

In the face of this situation, Zhang Shifei did not return with ** charming eyes as usual, but glared at them, there are chicks who do not have long eyes, seeing Zhang Shifei glaring at her, she is not angry but laughs, and says to Zhang Shifei: "Yo~~~, Brother Zhang, don't go back so early tonight, remember to look for me." ”

Zhang Shifei threw the cigarette on the ground, and after grinding it with his foot a few times, he said simply and clearly: "Roll the calf." ”

The girls saw that our living father was not in a good mood today, so they didn't pester, and went back to the house, at this time, there was a choked sound from Zhang Shifei's mobile phone, which sounded like a young woman, and definitely not more than twenty-two years old.

Why am I so sure, you ask? This is too simple, you must know that our shifei Zhang out of play creed has 'three do not touch': one, not women do not touch, two, no men do not touch women, three, more than twenty-two do not touch.

This is Zhang Shifei's experience of playing with women from childhood to adulthood, it seems that this is innate, it can also be said that he is a magnet, the same surname repels and attracts different surnames, which leads to his strange surname, so in the past 20 years, there are very few friends with the male surname around him, and he can count them with the fingers of the nine-fingered beggar Hongliulang.

At this time, Zhang Shifei picked up another cigarette, and then said lightly on the phone: "It's okay, I didn't say you, ah no, you can also think that I am talking about you." ”

When the woman on the other side of the phone heard him say this, she cried even more sadly, only to hear her choked up over there and said: "Why, why do you want to break up, can you not do this, didn't you say it, you love me, what I say is what." ”

Zhang Shifei smiled helplessly, shrugged his shoulders, and then said into the phone: "That's right, I love you, what you say is what, but the point is that I don't love you now, what do you say you are?" ”

After Zhang Shifei said such a ** and powerful words, the woman on the other side of the phone obviously collapsed, only listening to her voice became extremely resentful, fortunately, everything is now implemented in the fast food system, and she hung up the phone after leaving a breakup classic quotation list No1.

The saying is, if you have the surname Zhang, you will have retribution.

Zhang Shifei looked at the phone, smiled helplessly, and then put it in his butt pocket, stood up, and squatted for too long, causing his head to be a little dizzy when he got up, and I don't know if it was because of the long-term stiffness of his limbs, or because he drank too much at night.

Zhang Shifei leaned against the wall with his hand, then looked up at the sky above his head in Harbin, which was never starless, and then he spat on the ground, then pouted, and said with a smile: "Retribution, if I believed in retribution, I would have left home a long time ago." ”

Obviously, our Zhang Ye is indeed karmic, and this curse-like intimidation is just like I love you to him, where did so much high-tech come from!

Thinking of this, he put on that shameless smile, and then walked into the store again, and after turning a few corners with ease, he came to the door of a private room, opened the door, and a burst of loud music came to his face.

Zhang Shifei sighed, and then walked in, the heavy closing of the door was drowned out in the wild agricultural heavy metal music of love and business, the box was noisy, the choking smoke of cigarettes and the dim flickering lights created a blurry atmosphere, there were three people in the room, a man and two women, and the two women Zhang Shifei was not very familiar with each other.

Or that this kind of nightclub lady is all the same as him.

That obscene fat man Zhang Shifei is very familiar, I have said before, Zhang Shifei has been weird since he was a child, and the Northeast dialect is a special temper, no matter what things don't go well with him, he is anxious, if he wants to say that he is an only child now, who is used to him, so he has few friends with the same surname, but this fat man is an exception.

The two of them are children, the fat man is six months older than Zhang Shifei, the parents of both sides practiced the stall when they were young, and then the business became bigger, and they all became a company, a strategic partner for decades, so the two have been twisted together since childhood, like the Haier brothers, but the color of the pants they wear is different.

There is another reason why the two are so iron, that is, the surname, it may be the relationship between them since childhood, Zhang is born to like women, and fat people are even worse, but later the parents of the two sides discussed it when they drank together, Zhang Shifei's parents are very decent, so Zhang Shifei can be said to be an accidental type of genetic mutation.

But the fat man is different, it can be said that it is passed down from generation to generation of his family, he is not annoyed when he sees a woman, listen to the fat man, he is nothing, his grandfather is even more, he sees the long hair and goes up, it is said that there was a chase of a long hair chased more than two miles, and then caught up and was dumbfounded, fucking is an old way.

The fat man was sitting on the sofa with his belly [***] at this time, holding his little daughter in one hand and howling 'betraying my love, do you have a conscience debt (should)', this song is awkward to listen to Zhang Shifei's ears, he sat on the soft sofa with his butt, the fat man saw that he was back, so he stopped singing, and glanced obscenely at the girl on the right, the girl nodded with a smile and sat next to Zhang Shifei, and put a pair of fleshy bodies on Zhang Shifei's arm.

Zhang Shifei didn't move, didn't say anything, and didn't refuse.

After singing, the fat man smiled obscenely at Zhang Shifei and said, "Separated from that chick?" ”

Zhang Shifei lit a cigarette and nodded.

The fat man said with a smile: "You said that you are really good enough to have a life, every time you say that you want some true love, but every time it doesn't exceed two months, it's really ironic." ”

If others talk to Zhang Shifei like this, then the beer bottle in his hand must have already burst the other party's Tianling cover, but the fat man is different from others, so Zhang Shifei had to sigh, and then shrugged his shoulders and said: "I don't want to either, I've had enough fun, I want to find a partner to take care of, but... Alas, it's a, I'm annoyed if I don't have more than two months, what's the matter, why is this!" ”

"For the wine!" The fat man bit open a bottle of Rottweiler with his teeth. It poured into his mouth like flushing the toilet. Looking at the squirming of his Adam's apple, I already experienced his bold esophagus and the poor hangover tomorrow morning.

When the beer bottomed out, the fat man burped a long wine, and then said to Zhang Shifei: "Forget it, Lao Zhang, you are not born with the seed of innocence, what kind of amorous flowers do you have, you must know that women, just him and salted fish, it stinks after more than three days, you say it's been two months, can you not grow hair?" ”

Zhang Shifei heard the fat man say this, so he took a sip, and then scolded the fat man with a smile: "Li Lanying, your shameless appearance is quite like my demeanor two months ago." ”

The two girls in the box were happy when they heard Zhang Shifei say this, they knew that the fat man was called Brother Li before, and it was obvious that they heard the fat man's name for the first time, so the girl next to the fat man forced a smile and said to the fat man: "Li Lianying? Brother Li, why did you become a eunuch? ”

"Phew! What Li Lianying! It's Li Lanying! The fat man slapped the little girl hard, and the little girl didn't dare to laugh openly, so she could only secretly purse her little mouth.

In order to stop Zhang Shifei from sweeping his surname, the fat man said to Chi Ling, who was singing: "Hey, that girl, my buddy is out of love, change the next song to a more lyrical one." Taking advantage of the interval between changing songs, the fat man said to Zhang Shifei: "Don't think about it, isn't it just a girl?" ”

Zhang Shifei smiled and said to him: "Just kidding, I dumped her, but to be honest, that chick is really good to me except that her surname is too simple."

The song began, and the name was "The Myth of the Star and Moon". A very tender song, Zhang Shifei has heard it, this is an episode of the time-traveling TV series "Myth". The music is slow and lyrical, not to mention, it really tastes like singing from the mouth of that chick.

If you exclude the scene of Li Fatzi and the little girl next to him, the box is really full of emotion.

It's easy to get drunk on occasions that are usually full of mood, so today is no exception. Zhang Shifei and Li Fatzi both drank too much.

It's already midnight.

On the taxi home, the fat man suddenly had an urgency to urinate, so Zhang Shifei got out of the car on the way to accompany him. The two of them put their shoulders on their shoulders, took a step and turned three times, and walked diagonally to a telephone pole, Zhang Shifei had just untied his pants, and suddenly felt a cool breeze on his head. He looked up and saw a large dark green bird standing on a telephone pole by the dim street lamp.

He hurriedly patted the fat man hard, and the fat man who was draining the water was suddenly slapped like this, startled, and scolded: "What are you doing, you are convulsive, I pee my pants!" ”

Zhang Shifei rubbed his eyes, damn, how does the life form on the telephone pole look like a peacock. But how could there be a peacock in the city center at this time? It's just as illogical as when you come home and find that the lion-headed goldfish in the fish tank has given birth to a shellless king for no reason, is it because the zoo cage is broken?

After coming back to his senses, Zhang Shifei hurriedly shouted to the fat man: "Fatty, peacock!" Look! It's right on the pole!! The fat man looked up while urinating, glanced at it and scolded: "Where is there a ghost peacock, you have drunk too much!" ”

Drink like a fish? Did I drink too much? Zhang Shifei thought about it, it should be. The dizziness is terrible, that's why I hallucinate. Damn alcohol. At this time, the fat man said to Zhang Shifei: "Do you have pee, hurry up and pee, go back to your own house to sleep after urinating, see that you are drunk and hallucinating." ”

Because he knew that it was the effect of alcohol, he didn't think about it anymore, and when the fat man said this, he really had some urge to urinate. So he also unbuttoned his pants and began to lock the gate to release water.

Drinking too much beer and going kidneys is really disturbing, which is known to anyone who has ever drunk alcohol. He and the fat man have been soaking in urine long enough. Suddenly, he heard a strange sound above his head, click, click.

Hallucinations, hallucinations. He reminded himself as he continued to release the water. The fat man swayed and asked him, "What is this movement, as if the wire is about to break?" ”

Zhang Shifei laughed at him: "You also said that I drank too much, why are you hallucinating when you are so capable?" ”

Imagine if the wires on the telephone pole had broken without warning at two o'clock in the morning when there was no one on the street, and it happened to be touched by the two of us who were peeing under the telephone pole. It's almost as if the Shellless King Ba said that he was holding two knives in his hand, and his name was Leonardo da Vinci. And there are three brothers, who are as illogical as a rat teacher named Sberlint.

However, it wasn't until a very thick wire snapped and fell into the urine of Zhang Shifei and Li Lanying. Zhang Shifei realized that this was true.

It wasn't until he and Fat Li were lying on the cold concrete floor almost blackened, and their bodies were filled with the smell of roasted pig hair, that he realized that there was really such an illogical thing in this world. Collapsed because of the conduction of electricity in his own urine.

Now even if the shellless king in the fish tank speaks and tells you that it is actually the reincarnation of the turtle that carried Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei five hundred years ago and crossed the Tianhe River.

The head is still dizzy, but the body has lost its reaction and consciousness, and the vision is becoming more and more blurred, and the eyes are gradually engulfed by darkness. Is my buddy going to go to the West with Li Lanying, a fat man, this time to learn from the West? Zhang Shifei thought that the strange thing was that he didn't feel scared, maybe it was the effect of alcohol. Zhang Shifei remembered the words of the girl who broke up with him just now. Perhaps, this is really retribution.

His consciousness began to blur, and then he passed out completely, and at the last moment he could still see, he saw the peacock that had been parked on the telephone pole.

The peacock spread its wings across the night sky, crossed the line of sight of right and wrong, and froze the final picture in his mind, which was indeed beautiful.