"Then why did Uncle Li contact us?" I didn't worry about asking, yes, although the fat man said that he had yin and yang eyes, but he was also ineffective, for example, that time when I was almost killed by a ghost in the male guard of the Jianxing Hotel, he didn't see anything, and thought I was smoking sheep's horn, as for me, I want to open the yin and yang eyes and point to Uncle Li's corpse oil and charms, even if Uncle Li stands in front of us, we may not be able to see it.

"Well, well, I think you'll know by then." Tian Qigong smiled slightly, got up and left the ward.

It turns out that this seemingly old-fashioned old thing also understands humor, and the fat man and I looked at each other: Okay, have an appetite for our buddies.

To make a long story short, knowing that our fate with Uncle Li is not over, I am in a good mood, and my body recovers quickly, in fact, except for the concussion, the rest are skin injuries, and I was mixed in the hospital for two days, I was going to be discharged, and the fat man complained that the hospital meals made the birds fade out of his mouth, and urged me to be discharged quickly. To be honest, there was another ulterior reason why I was in a hurry to get out of the hospital: I wanted to see if Uncle Li could come back to the psychiatric clinic and meet us when he was in his first seven.

According to the Chinese funeral custom, the "first seven" refers to the seventh day after the death of a person, and the soul will return home on the "first seven", and the family should prepare a meal for the soul of the deceased before the soul returns, and then avoid it. As for the reason, it is said that if the soul of the deceased sees his family, it will make him remember, and it will affect his reincarnation as a human being.

When Uncle Li was very bored before, there was a ride without a ride and also muttered to me, what is the heavenly stem every seven for evil, the earth branch every seven for the rush, after the death of the person's soul to the seventh day of the day of the day of the heaven and the earth, the soul is stimulated, knowing that he has died, he instinctively wants to go home for shelter, so there is a "first seven return to the soul" said. It's right to think about it, once a wandering person is wronged or has difficulties, he will be extremely homesick, and the ghost "first seven return to the soul" is really the same reason, but it is not necessarily Mr. Yin and Yang's nonsense.

When I told the fat man about this idea, this guy was almost upset, and I couldn't wait to be discharged from the hospital and go back to the psychological clinic to start arranging, I could see that this unlucky child was purely a big trouble at the sight of the excitement, and in the process of fighting with the sword to eliminate demons and walking the rivers and lakes in the future, this characteristic of this calf thing really made us suffer.

Because I had a ghost fetus, I had a bit of a fight with the fat man, and the attending physician finally signed and agreed to discharge us. When I was about to be discharged from the hospital, I thought that Shen Han had also taken care of me, so I went to the nurse's office to say goodbye. What's more, when I left the office with a frown, I suddenly heard a whispering laugh behind me: "Hey, this is the pervert you said, it's not like it, it's just that small liquid crystal body, I have no heart and no strength, hehehehe......"

I'll go, don't bring such a stumbling person, white-clothed "".

When I returned to the psychological clinic with the fat man, 5 days had passed, and 1 day later, it was Uncle Li's first seven. We hurriedly set about preparing all the necessary items for Uncle Li's soul. But the fat man and I were stupid, why did we think we didn't know what to set up at all?

I had no choice but to temporarily cram, I buried my head in the ancient books such as "Yi Lin Addendum and Huangji Jingshishu" on Uncle Li's bookshelf, and the fat man used Uncle Li's big-ass nostalgic computer to check the information on the Internet, but in the end, the two of us were completely confused, and I dared to love the first seven also divided into the southern and northern factions: according to the customs of the north, after the family of the deceased prepared their favorite meal for their souls on the first seven nights, the whole family had to go to bed to avoid the souls of the deceased. In order to prevent the soul of the deceased from coveting the world and refusing to reincarnate after seeing his relatives, he is also afraid that the anger of the living will collide with the ghost and cause a corpse transformation.

But the custom in the south is just the opposite, the first seven nights of a large family do not sleep, stay up all night, just like the New Year's watch the Spring Festival party that is always scolding, and at midnight, it is the time when the yin is at its peak, everyone gathers around to eat "the first seven wontons", this is not counted, but also send people to other people's fields to "steal vegetables", the purpose is to be cursed by the thief's house, it is said that the more fierce the scolding, the more prosperous the fortune.

I can see that the fat man and I can't cry or laugh, where the hell is the first seven to commemorate the deceased, is it clearly a carnival night, and there is nothing to scold, this is simply a King Kong gourd baby party, who can do this cheap fucking thing!

After some careful discussion, the fat man and I finally reached a consensus, that is, there is no distinction between north and south, what is fun, and Uncle Li is not an ordinary ghost, he will not pick on us. So, on the night of the first seventh, we painted all the mirrors in the house with black cloth, laid the offering table, prepared the paper pots, and sprinkled a thin layer of ashes on the ground. At the same time, the fat man also ingeniously filled a hard-boiled hairy egg in a casserole at the door, saying that he wanted to bribe the ghost who was watching.

After arranging all this, the fat man and I smeared corpse oil on each other's eyebrows, turned off the buzzing old-fashioned fluorescent tubes, and each of us put on a cigarette, like a fool who stayed up late to watch the World Cup, waiting for the ghost to come to the door.

However, we two mallets who don't know the slightest bit of magic don't realize that what we are waiting for is an unexpected disaster!

Anyway, the fat man and I squatted in the room in the dark and smoked one after another, and finally smoked until the smell of cumin in our throats, and it was easy to stay up until midnight, and we looked at each other, and we both understood: yes, buddy, what should I do.

To say a word of white (Northeast slang: oath, gambling curse), whether the ghost of the "first seven" deceased can really come back, we are not sure, fortunately, the fat man can see the ghost when he is a child, and he has not been harmed by the ghost, there is no psychological shadow, and I am used to being played by the ghost as a child, the so-called habit becomes natural, and this ghost is Uncle Li, so the two of us are slightly panicked, but also mixed with inexplicable excitement and expectation.

Seeing that the time for the soul to return to the soul at midnight had come, as if the two of us had done this thing many times, I went to the clay pot to burn paper for Uncle Li, and the fat man had a pious face on his face, and muttered in his mouth: "The soul is back!" The East can't hold some up. There are thousands of elders, but the soul is a few. Ten days out, flowing gold and stones. They are all accustomed to it, and the soul will be released. Return, return! No, you can't hold some up. ”

The more I listened, the more confused I became, so I stabbed the fat man: "Hey, what are you muttering there, I haven't heard that the conjuring has to speak a foreign language, don't you drink coffee and salt, can you dress up as a returnee (turtle)?" ”

", you really have to improve your quality, this is the famous paragraph in Qu Yuan's ancient strange text "The Conjuring", do you understand." The fat man glared at me with disdain.

"Hehe, okay, fat man, you are educated, you are elegant, maybe Uncle Qu will come up in water and mud in a while, thank you for this bosom friend, and I will take you away when it is ready." I'm so happy to watch the fat man appear there, and I'm right to watch the stand-up comedy in the night show.

"Oh shit, I forgot something big." Seeing that the burning paper in my clay pot had become a prairie fire, the fat man shouted in a loud voice.

"What's wrong with JB again, it's scary, I'm telling you, if I don't come to the Northeast dialect this month (Northeast dialect, referring to menstrual holidays), I'll kill you." Originally, burning paper in the middle of the night was a very frying, roasting, frying and nerve-shaking thing, plus the fat man would read Xiongwen for a while and look like a corpse, which made me a little flustered and short of breath for no reason, and I always felt like something was going to happen.

"This paper-burning is very particular, you have to leave a few sheets out to answer those lonely ghosts, so that they don't rob Uncle Li's money." As he spoke, the fat man lit a few pieces of burning paper, opened the window and threw them outside.

It was also a coincidence that night, it was cloudy outside, and there was not even a star, black?? And the wind is blowing stronger and stronger, the green trees planted in the community are blown crackling, and occasionally there are wild cats that make a hiss similar to the cry of a child, coupled with the cigarettes on the table in the house, the gray burnt paper ash flutters like a ghost, and several large pieces of black cloth cover the mirror tightly...... A cold wind with a fishy smell swept into the house through the window, and I couldn't help but shiver.

"Fatty, close the window, it looks like it's going to rain." I saw that the fat man had his back to me, still standing at the window and not moving, and said that it was not a little couple who was too hilarious, and forgot to draw the curtains when he was hey, and the fat guy was there to watch the free wool film and forgot to see it, so he shouted again: "Your uncle, you can't pull out your eyes anymore, pay attention to which female ghost has fallen in love with you, and I will take you directly."

I was talking about being happy, when I saw the fat man who had been ignoring me slowly turned around, his small eyes narrowed into a slit, and smiled weirdly at me: "Little boy, you're right, grandma, I really like his fat body, it's enough for grandma and me to enjoy it for a while." ”

Oh my God, what kind of plane is this fat man doing, why did his voice change after a while, a Tongliao accent, and he imitated the vivid voice of an old lady.

"Dead Biaozi, don't scare me, let me tell you, people are scary, scared to death." Although the fat man is playing like the real thing, this guy seems to be very forgetful, forgetting that once we were too drunk, he bragged to me, saying that when he went to college for the New Year's Day party, his best show was to imitate Gao Xiumin, from the posture to the voice, it was not bad, and it was famous on campus for a while, so that the first thing that the first thing the new students did when they arrived at the school was not to pay tuition, but to listen everywhere who Gao Xiumin was.

"Little boy, the thing on your neck is very beautiful, show it to grandma." The fat man is still the voice of an old woman who listens like steel wool ball glass, making people have pimples layer by layer, and his eyes are staring at the green stone that Uncle Li gave me.

"You're a no-nonsense thing, I think you're just a must in life, a cucumber must be shot, and you owe Ula a hammer, right?" I was a little annoyed, thinking to myself that tonight was a serious business, who asked you to play a parody show.