Zhang Wei's name is Zhang Wei, 25 years old this year, 1.72 meters tall, 64 kilograms in weight, office worker, monthly salary of 2,002, no house, no car, no deposit, now the daily life is: work, work, Internet, sleep, of course, sometimes there will be a little change, such as: work, Internet, work, sleep. Speaking of which, some people may think that Zhang Wei's introduction is not only verbose and boring, but as an otaku, can you still expect him to have an earth-shattering opening sentence - unless, he is a novelist

Zhang Wei has always felt that there is a providence in the dark, just take his name - Zhang Wei! As the most frequent occurrence on birth certificates, there are other twenty-ninety-nine thousand and twenty-four guys named Zhang Wei in the entire Celestial Empire besides himself, and it is even very likely that by the time this conclusion is reached, this number has become twenty-nine thousand and twenty-five.

It can be said that since he took this sloppy name (it seems that he took this name when he was in his mother's womb), his life has been as sloppy as this name, just like now-

"Zhang Wei, I'm sorry, you're a good person, but we're not suitable."

"Not suitable? My name is Zhang Wei, your name is Zhao Fen, we are a natural pair when we hear the name. ”

Zhao Fen rolled her eyes and didn't speak, dragging her suitcase out of the door, Zhang Wei knew that there was an electric car worth 800 yuan and a humanoid monkey riding an electric car worth 800 yuan waiting for her below.

As a qualified otaku sling, Zhang Wei can accept that he was dumped by a woman - if he has never been dumped by a woman, how can he be embarrassed to call himself a sling when he goes out in the future - but if the person who digs his corner is a humanoid monkey who is not stronger than him, then he can't let go.

Seeing Zhao Fen sitting in the electric car of the humanoid monkey, Zhang Wei felt like a dog tail grass inserted in cow dung - although the dog tail grass is not much better, but it is better than cow dung, isn't it?

"How blind does she have to be to look at such an incomplete primate!"

"If she's not blind, can she have seen a fully evolved primate like you before?"

There was a very poor sound in the room, but at this time, except for Zhang Wei, there was no second person in the room, and the only guy who could make a sound was a small brown teddy.

"Fortunately, that woman's eyes opened once today, and finally dumped you, now you don't have to spend money on accompanying your girlfriend to go shopping, eat and watch movies, my food can be restored to three meals a day, right?" Ha, it's really this little teddy who speaks—the human Teddy!

"Are you dissatisfied with your standard of two meals a day?"

"Not satisfied, very dissatisfied!"

"Hmm" Zhang Wei thought about it seriously, "Then change it to, one meal a day"

"What!" Little Teddy's eyes widened very humanly - a human, human-speaking little Teddy, why does it look like a full-fledged Teddy described like this? "Why don't you spend money on your girlfriend, my food standard has been lowered!"

"Because I'm not happy!" Zhang Wei was angry: "I'm out of love!" I just fell out of love! You're gloating about giving yourself more food, do you know I'm sad now, do you still have a little human touch! ”

Little Teddy was stunned by the yelling, wiped the saliva on his face with two little paws, and lay pitifully at Zhang Wei's feet:

"But people are just Teddy, and they are inherently impersonal."

"Don't sell cuteness in front of me!" Zhang Wei grabbed the two front paws of the little teddy and made it stand up, "Also, how can there be a teddy who can speak human words and talk back to the owner every day!" ”

"Although in essence, I am a handsome and dashing person, and my family loves flowers and flowers."

"Speak human words!"

Before little Teddy could say more spoof lines, Zhang Wei slapped him on the head.

"Haven't I been talking all the time? If you want to listen to the language of the Wangxing, then okay - Wang, Wang, Wang."

"Wangwang, I'll make you Wangwang!" Zhang Wei picked up the little teddy and shook it vigorously, and shook the little teddy in three or two clicks, and then put it back on the ground with satisfaction. "Do you still learn how to bark a dog?"

"But I'm just a little teddy now."

Zhang Wei grabbed the little teddy and continued to shake

At nine o'clock in the evening, a lovelorn man and a little teddy who have not broken their love are drinking beer in the evening breeze by the river, and if anyone wonders why a teddy drinks beer, then the answer is - this is no ordinary teddy! (So, is it because you can drink beer because you can't be ordinary, or because you're not ordinary, because you're not ordinary?) That's a problem.)

"Are you really the Lord God?"

"Really."

"How can there be a main god who is a teddy!"

"Okay, then I'm a teddy."

"How can there be a Teddy who can speak human words!"

"Then I'm still the main god."

At the moment before Zhang Wei was about to run away, the little teddy Doudou quickly changed into a strict appearance:

"Want to understand the meaning of life? Want to be truly alive? ”

"Don't learn other people's lines!"

Zhang Wei gave Doudou a slap.

"You're really hard to serve, what do you want me to do!"

Zhang Wei stared at Doudou for a long time, and then shook his head in frustration.

"I don't even know what I'm going to do"

"If you don't know what to do, then I'll let you do whatever you want."

"What do you want to do?"

In the rental house, Zhang Wei listened to a lot of Doudou Balabala like a student with insufficient IQ.

"In short, you have only one goal in the past - to rob money, treasure, and women!"

"Aren't those three goals?"

"Then condense it into one-rob! Rob! Rob! Doudou looked at Zhang Wei, "Do you understand?" ”

"Although it sounds very powerful," Zhang Wei tilted his head and thought about it, "but it doesn't seem to be very clear."

Doudou rolled his eyes.

"The theoretical knowledge is too profound, it is difficult to explain it with your mouth alone, you can understand it once you experience it yourself, so let's go through it first!"

"So you wear it? Wouldn't it be too hasty? Let's take a long-term view! ”

"Don't you don't believe that I am the Lord God? It's better to play as a house. ”

"I've found that I'm starting to believe a little bit, so let's take the long view."

"Don't worry, the crossing process is absolutely safe and painless, and I will provide theoretical guidance and psychological counseling throughout the process, you can go with peace of mind."

"But if you say that, I can't feel at ease, I think we should still grow up"

"Whew!"

"Let's think about it!"

"Bang!" (sound of heavy objects falling to the ground)

Zhang Wei crossed