Lin Xiaohua obviously won't comment on this, the last pain after the death of the heart, I don't think anyone wants to share it with others, it can only be the taste of their own taste.

"The next story, it's easier to say that it's easier to say the first time I saw it, the first time I planted the seeds, and in the years that followed, I was able to distinguish which was a good brother and which was a bad brother. Don't think that it is difficult for a child to explain a lot of things to him (her), it is practical to look at things from his (her) simple perspective, but it is simple, but it is accepted so quickly, because their thinking has not yet been solidified, they have not yet learned to refuse other people's words, protect their world and sense of security I didn't think it was as complicated as I thought at that time, and I didn't feel anything weird. I just stubbornly divided that person into good brothers and bad brothers. Lin Xiaohua said lightly, and slowly, her hoarse voice began to transform and became a little thicker.

It's the kind of voice that distinguishes a girl from a young woman.

The wind blew, and Lin Xiaohua grew old in her memories.

Regarding the good brother and the bad brother, there is really no need to recall too many details, one is indifferent and condescending, with a contemptuous look. And one is kind and gentle, warm, with the breath of sunshine, such a gap between the two poles, what kind of impression will be left on a little girl, in fact, you can imagine.

The bad is getting worse and worse, the good is getting better and better, and the child's judgment is so simple.

Lin Xiaohua didn't say too many details about her growing up, and only said that the first time she walked out of the gate of the yard with a memory, it was her good brother who took her, she lay on her back, and was carried out of the courtyard by him.

She walked on her back for a long time, and she came into contact with many people from a long distance, with respectful eyes and polite words, just because she was lying on his back.

"Maybe when I was a child, I was also taken out? See a doctor? Or is it something else? Or maybe I chose to forget, I only remember that when he carried me out that day, the blue sky outside, the warm wind walked outside the village, and the sound of the river rushing, which was a 'far-away' world that I had never been to. Lin Xiaohua's evaluation of this paragraph is only one sentence.

And another detail is that both of them were teenagers, and in the middle of the night, Lin Furui suddenly 'woke up' and went to Lin Xiaohua's room, and on that night, the two immature boys and girls had the first and most in-depth conversation.

Each other's sadness, sadness On that night, Lin Xiaohua saw Lin Furui who was crying for the first time, and when she felt a strong desire to comfort someone for the first time, the words were so insufficient, and the words were so scarce.

If a seed was sown when I was a child, and it sprouted and took root in my heart that night, I can never forget it.

"Don't say that there is only him in my world, because the whole process of falling in love with him, where are the only two details? The bits and pieces of getting along day and night, as well as that extreme state of mind, that is, that person is obviously in front of you, but it is not him, you are desperate for him to appear, and after a long time, it becomes a disease, and pathological dependence accompanied by ignorant love is the most terrible, just because their roots are too strong, and they will be rooted in the deepest part of the heart. How to pull it out? Uprooting it will tear out the entire heart. Lin Xiaohua's tone was so calm, but she was telling me about the beginning of an unforgettable love.

I am very silent, there are many kinds of love in this world, but no matter what kind of beginning, what kind of twists and turns, or calm or intense, what I am most afraid of is just taking root in my heart, as Lin Xiaohua said, how to tear it off? Or can it just be left to wither? But growing in the flesh and watering the blood, how can it wither so easily, after all, it consumes so much of his own effort, and it stays in the soul.

In the next story, Lin Xiaohua also told it very concisely, nothing more than that they grew up, and Lin Xiaohua's illness was half cured with the help of God.

Why only half? I couldn't help but ask.

After all, I know that all kinds of gods will be more or less influenced by Lin Furui, and Lin Furui should have fallen in love with Lin Xiaohua at that time.

Because in the whole years of growth, it was not only Lin Xiaohua who was lonely, but also Lin Furui, and what was even more terrifying was that Lin Xiaohua still had self-awareness and knew her existence, but Lin Furui didn't even have this, just because what others knew was that high god.

Except for the family members who have seen very few people under God's deliberate control, they can recognize his existence, and the rest is Lin Xiaohua.

What's even more different is that Lin Xiaohua not only gave him cognition, but also dependence, worship, and trust in love! In the face of such feelings, coupled with the years of growth, what is the possibility of a somewhat cowardly boy who has been suppressed all the time not to respond and not accept?

What's more, Lin Xiaohua was a moving woman, although her body was so bad at that time, she couldn't bury her brilliance.

Otherwise, how could the god on high be left to his knees? If he didn't admit Lin Xiaohua, with his domineering and strong, he would definitely try his best to stop Lin Furui, after all, from a certain point of view, they are the same person.

So, in such a situation, why is God only willing to heal Lin Xiaohua halfway?

"It's very simple, the biggest difference between God and Lin Furui is control. At that time, he was going to come here and he was afraid that I would not go with him, so he was only willing to heal me halfway. There are two other reasons, first, in the outside world, he doesn't dare to go too far with the power of the Heavenly Pattern Stone. Second, use this to put pressure on my parents to take me away. Lin Xiaohua said very simply.

Maybe time is running out, and she can't go into too many details.

But in fact, if there was no Lin Furui's existence, God would definitely not be able to take away this extremely tenacious girl who had been sharpened in her heart in the years of growth because of her physical disability.

The biggest reason why she walked with him was that she didn't understand her parents at that time, and felt that they were just flattering God, and their love for herself was worn out a lot after God came, and it was impossible for her to have no resentment in her heart.

"My parents both died shortly after I came in, and I don't want to dwell on the grief of that time. I just remember that it was Lin Furui who told me the truth, because God was afraid that I still had concerns about the outside world, and I refused to stay by his side with peace of mind, so I simply used a little trick to make my parents die early. It was at that time that I learned the truth from Lin Furui's mouth, that is, my parents were so pleasing to God, all to heal me. As for how Lin Furui knew, it was because after entering here, he and God became more and more integrated. Lin Xiaohua finally said this paragraph about her parents, but she was very calm and there were no tears in her eyes.

Because this girl has already decided, what she owes will be repaid, she has strengthened this determination, what else is too sad?

"Have you always thought I was a wise woman? Actually, no, what I care about will be chaotic and cruel, just like I can't see my parents' hard work for me. Because I always feel that the human heart is cruel, and the cruelty lies in the same small mistake, and the heart will not care about strangers, and I feel that since you are a stranger, you should make mistakes, because you have no obligation to be good to me. But I will worry about the people I care about, thinking that I care about you, and I have paid for you, why should you make mistakes to me? So, I'm also cruel because they are my parents, and I take it for granted that more love, and if strangers raise me like this, I'm naturally grateful, but what about my parents? I actually blamed and was unwilling, and then I thought, shouldn't I be more tolerant of those who care, care, and are familiar with? It's not easy to have a lifetime of fate, and you can give understanding to strangers, why can't you give it to them? Make the relationship more sublimated? After all, it is natural to be good to you or not, and whether you are good to others or not is originally a natural thing, but with the addition of gain and loss, it is not like this, and you start to look at the return. Lin Xiaohua said this very long, maybe she didn't decide to pay it back, and it really didn't hurt, but this forbearant girl was used to covering up.

If it really doesn't hurt, how can there be such an understanding?

I squinted at the wind in the sky raising the slightest debris from the aftermath of the battle, the smell of blood and desolation, and all I could say was: "No, experience has made you wiser, at least much better than me, the idiot you call it." ”

"Hey, I'm talking a lot of nonsense. The rest, in fact, is not much to talk about, but it is the endless entanglement of the three people here, especially after God found out that my essence blood is a hole card for his life. As you may have heard, I deliberately avoided some of God's actions and daily interactions with me because I didn't think it was worth remembering. Because he said that he loves me, the bigger reason is his absolute desire to control, he even wants to control the fact that I love Lin Furui, of course, it is also his arrogance, in his eyes, how can I love the humble Lin Furui, not him? That's the answer to everything. Chen Chengyi, if there is anything else I have to tell you, it is only one thing. Lin Xiaohua's voice said that at this time, it was already very vicissitudes, in fact, there was no need to think about it, and she knew that at this moment, she was completely old.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that the tips of her hair were completely white, could this be the sadness of turning snow into snow in the morning? My heart was trembling inexplicably.

"Do you know why I say he is after death? That was a point of entry between me and him, and after that point he was slowly no longer him. Lin Xiaohua's voice seemed to have penetrating magic, allowing me to see a night between her and Lin Furui.

The first time Lin Furui cried in front of him was when he was a teenager.

And that night, it was the second time Lin Furui cried in front of Lin Xiaohua, he told Lin Xiaohua that he couldn't help but become more and more like the god he hated the most, and he told Lin Xiaohua that he didn't want anything in this life, he just wanted to get a death, because if he died, at least there was reincarnation and hope.

He also told Lin Xiaohua: "In this life, I am willing to give up everything and just want to die, but I can't even commit suicide, he will wake up." You have to understand me, it's not that I'm willing to leave you, but I really don't have any way to face myself anymore, so how can I love you? Xiaohua, do you want to believe it? In the next life, I must remember you, and in the next life, I will still be your brother Xiaorui. ”

"Is this why you followed him like faith, and he followed death?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Yes, in fact, I can understand, and even I can fulfill his dream as my dream, but what woman wants is an ethereal next life, not to be able to stay in front of me, even for a minute of happiness? He often sighed, but in the end he was perfected. Lin Xiaohua said softly.

"But, in the end, he doesn't want this fulfillment." I couldn't help but say something.

"It wasn't he who didn't want it, and since that night he has been terminally ill and slowly dying. I witnessed his death, and I struggled to live, perhaps with a glimmer of hope that he would still be his, and you know, there would be no glimmer of hope that would be more difficult. I've told myself countless times that I'm just fulfilling his last wish, and that his slap shattered hope, so what was left of me? In this life, it is enough to borrow his warmth and return his hope, and it is enough to be entangled so far. Lin Xiaohua's voice seemed to be about to fall asleep.

"In fact, where are you fulfilling his last wish, you still want to give him a liberation in the end, if you can't choose death, he will always be a poor worm suppressed by God, or even disappear completely. How could you possibly bear to watch something like this happen? "I finally couldn't help but 'debunk' Lin Xiaohua's understatement.

"Hehe Chen Chengyi, the Stone of the Heavenly Pattern is destroyed, and the soul of God is completely imprisoned in it, and then it will slowly dissipate, and there is no need to do anything because there is a great benefit, and in the face of failure, there must be a great harm, this is the secret of God? You see how much he likes me Chen Chengyi, if I stop talking when I'm tired, well, then I'm dead. ”

"Chen Chengyi, do you know why I'm telling you this? Because, I loved him so much, but his existence in this life is only God in the eyes of people, how can I bear that he does not leave traces in the hearts of anyone but his family? ”

"Chen Chengyi, I'm very selfish, I just told you that I actually loved him all my life, and in the end, I think you're a pretty good little guy."

Lin Xiaohua didn't finish all the words, and her whole body was so soft that it was on my shoulder.

Grandma Ling Qing covered my eyes and said to me, "Chengyi, don't look at fulfilling this poor girl's last wish!" Wait for me to put a headscarf on her, and you will open your eyes again."

And my tears unconsciously slipped out of Grandma Ling Qing's fingers.

Goodbye, Lin Xiaohua, I hope I can drink with you again in the next life.