This old and dilapidated city, I'm afraid it's older than my age, I can't remember what age it is, and I don't know how many years I've lived. When did you come to this alley and never go out again? Now in my physical condition, I can't climb out to see the outside world.

Hunger for a long time has made me accustomed to it, groggy and half-asleep, is the best way to drive away hunger, whenever I feel a strong convulsion in my abdomen, I close my eyes and squint for a while, it always brings miracles.

The cold is my worst enemy at the moment, and it's been raining for a long time, and the clothes on my body may have been used as a change of food, or maybe I didn't have any clothes with me.

It was very dark, and the blue brick walls on both sides of the narrow alley were also dyed black by the rain, and if it weren't for a gold-like tower in the distance, reflecting the sunlight, it was particularly bright in the dark buildings, I am afraid it would be difficult for me to tell that it was daytime, but this cold, I could not feel that it was daytime at all.

It was cloudy and rainy, but the sky above the tower was clear and the sun was shining. I hate that tower very much, not only because of the blessing of God, giving it a sunny day, so that it will always stand there, reflecting my miserable old age with its splendor, but also because of the existence of that tower, I have the life I have now.

I don't know how many years ago, I wanted to end my life with no future, but every time I thought of a solution to myself, the tower emitted a dazzling light, which made me dizzy and drowsy, and when I woke up, I had a severe headache, adding helplessness and boundless helplessness to this old man who was worse than death.

Now it is even more difficult to think about death, the green bricks and slags in the alley have been eaten by me to resist the hunger of the moment, and I am unable to hold up the large bricks, even if I find another tile, I don't know if I still have the strength to cut my pulse, even if I can cut the epidermis and expose the bones inside, it is not necessarily that my blood vessels are still there, because I have not seen my blood vessels for a long time.

Because I was sitting in the corner, I used the back of my head every day to hit the wall behind me, but my strength was no longer enough to break my head, but this feeling of grogginess became a habit, and it became a way for me to resist hunger, as long as I didn't fall asleep, I would keep banging my head on the wall behind me, the wall never made a sound, but my head always echoed with the bell.

Today's dream seems to be very interesting, but I can't remember it, I just remember a few companions did one thing with me, a young and frivolous impulsive thing, maybe I often did this kind of thing when I was young, but those old things are like this dream, I can't recall it for a long time.

Speaking of impulses, I have found a good way to kill myself, but it is not an impulse, it is my deliberate thinking, and from this day on, I am ready to start eating myself, starting with the useless legs and feet, which will not only make me die, but also allow me to eat as much as I want before I die. I admired my own wit at the thought of this perfect idea, and although there was no mirror, I knew that I had a smile on my face.

Just as he was thinking about how to put her feet in her mouth, the fat woman came again.

There was a fat woman who passed by this alley every afternoon, but never ignored my cunzài, and did not even glance at me, probably because of her attention, attracted by the food in her hand.

This woman was so fat that she couldn't walk, but she still kept eating, all kinds of food would always appear in her hands, and every time she passed by, she ate as she walked, and I guess she kept chewing on food every minute and every second.

Every day when she passes by, she will drop some food scraps, which is also my main source of livelihood, when she is lucky, she drops more, and if she is unlucky, she can only look at her back and find a way to enter the dream.

I put my foot down, hoping that she would accidentally drop some when she passed me, so that I could be sober for a while longer, and think about how to put my foot in my mouth.

Today she was eating a large piece of meat, as if it were the leg of some animal, and I was retched and disgusted by the dark red color of the spice and the sparkling oil on it.

When she slowly moved in front of me, she took a big bite, and a few pieces of minced meat fell to the ground in front of me like a gift from heaven.

These scraps of minced meat, combined with the rain from the ground, are simply the best of the best. I leaned down and gently sucked it in my mouth, sucking the meat into my mouth, and it was a real pleasure.

I didn't dare to suck too hard, for fear that I would suck it in one gulp, which would shorten the time of happiness, but because I slowed down, a piece of meat was actually carried away by the rain, and I was immediately annoyed when I saw the meat scrap drifting away.

The fat woman passed by in the afternoon, and the old monk and his little apprentice should also come, and every time the fat woman walked by, the old monk and his apprentice would pass by the alley.

That's right, they really came, and as usual, the old monk was dressed in a golden robe, flashing with a dazzling light, and followed by his cloth-clothed boy, passing by the mouth of the alley.

I could have seen that he must be the monk in that tower, as annoying as that tower, his body was full of dazzling gold, and even the rosary in his hand was golden.

His apprentice is not bad, dressed plainly, and his appearance is also very delicate, very attractive, I prefer to look at the apprentice twice.

As soon as I arrived at the entrance of the alley, a woman would come running, and the woman was very fierce, blocking the old monk's way, rolling up her sleeves, pointing at her nose and scolding.

Maybe the woman was talking too fast, maybe I hadn't spoken for a long time, and I couldn't understand what she was saying, but from her expression and attitude, I knew that she must be scolding the old monk.

The bald old monk would always stand there and wait for the woman to scold enough, and he would not return the mouth or leave, and when the woman was tired of scolding, she had scolded enough, and turned around and walked away, and then the old monk took his apprentice and continued to move forward the same way, and turned his head to look at me before leaving.

The shrew scolded the old monk, and it became my only entertainment every day, I hated the tower, and I hated the people inside, the old monk was scolded, I was very happy, whenever he left to see me, I tried my best to make the expression on his face look very happy, so that he could feel my ridicule, although I didn't have the strength to scold him, but silence is better than sound.

It went on and on for days, maybe years, and I had no idea about time, because time was too slow for me. I still couldn't put my foot in my mouth, and had to survive on the debris of the fat woman and the rain, this time the rain was very long, and it didn't stop for so long.

In the afternoon again, the fat woman passed by as usual, and today she did not eat for the first time, but came to me with two steamed buns, put down the steamed buns and left.

Is there such a good thing in the world? Could it be that God has finally opened his eyes?

I picked up the steamed buns on the ground, opened my mouth and bit them, but I only ate less than half of them, and I couldn't eat them anymore. Rose. I threw the steamed bun against the wall, hating myself for being useless, and I couldn't eat the god-given delicacies in my mouth.

But even if it was less than half a steamed bun, it gave me some strength, I supported it with my arms, dragged my body forward, and rubbed it until I reached the entrance of the alley, leaning against the wall and waiting for the old monk to pass by, thinking that I could appreciate the shrew and scold him up close today, and I couldn't help but feel a little excited.

After a while, the old monk came over with his apprentice, and the woman also came from the opposite side as scheduled, and walked up and pointed at the old monk and scolded, still not understanding what was scolded, but at least it made me feel exceptionally good.

Today I have a full stomach, and I can watch the performance up close, it is simply unexpected luck, I thought in my heart, since I have arrived at the entrance of the alley, why not tell the old monk, let him take me into the shining tower, I will eat all his food, and then I will have the strength to kill myself, and relieve hunger and hatred.

When the woman had scolded enough to leave, the old monk turned to look at me, and there was some joy in his eyes, I am afraid that he was surprised to see that I could move to the entrance of the alley.

I still smiled the same way I always did, because I couldn't hide the joy in my heart because of the wonderful scene just now. I smiled and said to the old monk, "Take me to that tower." ”

The old monk also smiled and said: "I see you smiling every day when you meet a monk, you must have experienced the great freedom in Buddhism, and you can also be regarded as a destined person of my Buddhist family, a devout believer." But if you want to go to that tower and eat and live with us, there are still conditions. ”

I tilted my head and waited impatiently for him to continue.

The old monk bent down and said to me, "If you want to go there, you have to contribute food, and if you don't have food, you can't go." ”R1058