Chubby, it's time to eat......" I put the three pillars of incense on the incense burner and looked at the small red coffin on the table with a smile. It didn't take long for Chubby's chubby body to float out of the coffin.

He smiled at me, and while laughing, he also beckoned to me: "Haisheng, you also eat, eat." ”

I smiled at him, too: "Eat, eat more, I'm not hungry, and I don't eat this." ”

It's been four years, and I've been at Uncle Qingsong's house for four whole years since I left my master. In the past four years, in addition to school, I have followed Uncle Qingsong to many places, seen feng shui, and slashed ghosts. I have to say that Uncle Qingsong has indeed taught me a lot of things, but I still can't rest assured that my master is in my heart.

For four years, I don't know how the master got over. When he wants to drink, is there someone who makes wine for him? With one hand, he didn't know if someone was pulling his sleeves behind his back when he was dressing, and I don't know if he found his son.

All along, the only thing that accompanied me was my little fat soul, he seemed to have grown up, and when I first saw him, he was weak like a fog, and it was blown away by the wind. Now he is like a substance, although ordinary people can't see him, but as the master of life, I can naturally feel that Xiaopang is much stronger than five years ago. It's just that Chubby still doesn't know anything, can't resist ghost soldiers, and can't pass the yin. It's still so fat that you can only eat it.

But what does it matter? He is also one of my relatives. Loved ones, even if they are useless, will always be relatives and an inseparable part of my life. Since he doesn't know anything, then I have to learn to be strong and protect him.

I took out what Master Li Feng had left me from the quaint box, which was an ancient copper ruler. It is engraved: "wealth, loss, prosperity, death, official, righteousness, suffering, prosperity, harm, Ding" cross, according to Uncle Qingsong, this is Li Feng's family heirloom Ding Lan ruler, is Li Feng's ancestor used to measure the Yin house for people, and the door meter is called Yin and Yang two feet, the door meter, that is, the folk Luban ruler.

This is the last thing Master left me, and I often hold this cold ruler to remember the days I spent with Master. Although I was often abused and cursed him a hundred, a thousand times in my heart. But in the final analysis, he is still my dearest person, and treats me like my own son, otherwise, he would not have handed over the family heirloom Ding Lanqi to me.

"Haisheng, Haisheng, I have good news for you......"

Just when I was holding the ruler and looking up to the sky and sighing and missing my master, a slightly chubby figure rushed in without knocking on the door, almost knocking me to the ground.

"Fatty, can you be a little more steady, and learn to be a little Uncle Qingsong." I rolled my eyes and said helplessly to the fat man.

The person who came was indeed a fat man, a big fat man to be exact, weighing more than one hundred and fifteen, with a pair of small eyes. A small bag grew on his forehead. If you don't look carefully, you think it's a celestial bone in physiognomy. But if you take a closer look, you know that it is definitely not a heavenly bone. This kind of bone that grows on the forehead seems to be called the bone of the Buddha, in short, it seems to mean that there is a relationship with the Buddha.

This strange-shaped fat man is Uncle Qingsong's only son, named Wang Weiqiang. That is, my godbrother. Because Uncle Qingsong and my master Li Feng are sworn brothers. And although my master and I do not have the name of father and son, our relationship is better than that of father and son. Naturally, Wang Weiqiang and I became godbrothers. Originally, my master was a brother, and Uncle Qingsong was a brother. In terms of generation, Wei Qiang should call me an elder brother. It's just that because I'm a little younger than him, this generation has changed.

However, I really can't say this brother. There is no other reason, this fat man is too obscene, not only obscene, but also a flower in the wonderful, I really can't figure it out, how could the mature and stable Uncle Qingsong give birth to such an obscene son.

The first time I saw this fat man was when I first came to Uncle Qingsong's house.

That evening, when the setting sun was spreading over the earth and spreading a golden yellow. I saw a slightly chubby figure on the rooftop, and this figure gave me the feeling of a philosopher thinking about life, sighing towards the setting sun.

Intrigued, I climbed up on the roof, sat down next to him, and asked him, "What are you doing?" "Three minutes later, I regretted it completely, and fully appreciated what it means to kill a cat with curiosity.

The fat man let out a long sigh, as if full of grief, and he looked up at the sunset, his eyes silent in his memory.

"I was thinking about one of my old dogs, and that dog was very obedient and he would catch mice," he said. ”

Although there are few dogs that can catch mice, they are also common in rural areas. I was full of doubts and was about to ask

At this time, he continued: "I also have a cat at home, but the cat is crazy"

"Uh...... Was it driven crazy by dogs? I asked

"No, because the dog scratched all the rats, and the cat went crazy and learned to gnaw bones."

I...... Just ask, your cat is dead, you are missing the dog, what is the principle of this?

The second time, I followed him out to set up a stall, and in his words, he was known as a gentleman who pointed out the lost gentleman, reminded the long-stranded heroes, helped the world to hang the pot, and saved the people in Anbang. But in fact, I just have no pocket money, so I just have to do some side jobs and earn some money to buy cakes.

The first customer who came to the door was a plump beauty with 34D boobs. As soon as Wei Qiang's fat man saw people, he flowed out of Halazi. stared at the breasts of other beauties and said, "Miss, you have a big murderer, a big murderer (chest)!" ”

But the woman is a big-breasted and brainless person, the fat man said this, she actually believed it, and nervously asked where the fat man was and if there was a way to resolve it.

The fat man pretended to be a master and pinched his fingers, slapped his thighs, and drooled: "Miss, Xiaodao pinched his fingers, you are fierce in your fate and lack me!" ”

"Really, Miss, you believe me, you really lack me in your life"

……………………

In the end, the woman scolded us for being insane and ran away. From then on, I vowed never to go to a stall with this fat man again.

The third time was during the freshman military training. Not long after I came here, Uncle Aomatsu asked me to go back to school and continue my studies. Although I was reluctant at first, I really couldn't resist Uncle Qingsong, so I went back to school and became classmates with his son

During the military training, the instructor called for assembly, but he was the only one who broke away from the team and stood by staring at the female classmates running on the playground.

"Wang Weiqiang, what are you doing?" The instructor shouted and glared at him

The fat man wiped his saliva, and actually saluted with a solemn expression, and replied in a serious tone: "Report to the instructor, I'm studying what it means to be choppy!" ”

……………………

When a group of crows flew over the heads of the whole class, the fat man said again: "Haisheng, hurry up and come and study with me, look at the one over there, there is 34D without ......"

Eventually, the city gate caught fire, causing damage to the fish pond. Innocently, I was punished by the instructor for running five laps.

Since then, I have seen clearly that under the seemingly loyal appearance of this dead fat man, there is a lewd heart.

In the past, those people in the village always said that fire prevention, wolf prevention, and sea protection. I believe that if they see the fat man, they will definitely find that they are wrong, ridiculously wrong, and they should change this sentence to fire and wolf and prevent Weiqiang.

Because of this, everyone in the class gave us a nickname. I'm called a lonely monster, and a fat man is called a lewd man.

Because of my left eye, very few people in the class dared to get close to me, so I usually spoke very little, except with a few two or three people.

And the fat man is indeed very obscene, and these two names are indeed very consistent with the characteristics of the two of us. Therefore, there is no need for the two of us to dispute this nickname. It's just a nickname, why do you want to associate me with this obscene fat man?

"Haisheng, do you know that we are going to the countryside tomorrow to help the farmer uncle" As soon as the fat man came in, his face was full of excitement and grabbed my shoulders and jumped.

I rolled my eyes, what's so strange about this, the school will send some students to the countryside every once in a while, the purpose is to let these students experience the hardships of the countryside, to help the rural people harvest potatoes, pull weeds and so on. Is it worth being so happy? Could it be ......

"Hey, this is a rare opportunity, I must work hard, let Sister Jingjing see my hard-working, hard-working side, and strive to move him as soon as possible and take her home!" The fat man clenched his fists and was full of fighting spirit.

Really...... It's because of the inexplicable Sister Jingjing.

This Jingjing is not a sister, her name is Si Lijing, she is a teacher in our school, and she is also one of the tutors in my class.

When the dead fat man saw this teacher Si Lijing for the first time, his eyes widened and he stared at others. After half a ring, he grabbed my hand and said nervously: "Haisheng, I found it, it's her, it's her, it's her." ”

I was puzzled and asked who the fat man was, I thought he was talking about Nezha at first?

As a result, the fat man pointed at Teacher Nasi Lijing and yelled: "I want to marry her home." ”

It's so good to die, when the fat man said this, the teacher surnamed Si stood in front of the two of us. And because the fat man yelled out, it naturally aroused the strange eyes of many classmates.

Since then, the two of us have been included in Si Lijing's blacklist.

Although the road ahead is difficult, it is rare for the fat man to have a little strong heart that cannot be killed, and he still unforgives himself to chase and beat others, and he is shameless and sticks to others to call Sister Jingjing.

When it rained, the fat man deliberately took an umbrella, ran from the third floor to the first floor, and delivered it to Si Lijing, who was sheltering from the rain. As a result, the umbrella was broken...... As soon as she opened the umbrella, Si Lijing turned into a soup chicken.

Every time, whether it was passing by or deliberately slipping past Si Lijing, the big fat man would ask people with concern: "Sister Jingjing, have you eaten, have you drunk, are you hungry, are you thirsty?" ”

Once, when Si Lijing came out of the toilet, our big fat man put it on like a dog skin plaster.

"Sister Jingjing, have you eaten?"

Unexpectedly, this teacher Si Lijing was actually in a good mood, and responded to our big fat man for the first time: "Eat." ”

After answering, Si Lijing remembered that she seemed to have come out of the toilet. After saying this, I immediately went back to the toilet and threw up.

Sometimes, I really feel that as a teacher, it is a tragedy to be targeted by my own students, especially to be targeted by a student as a fat man, which is simply a super tragedy. But our big fat man still doesn't have a sober consciousness. In his words: "Jingjing has abused me thousands of times, and I treat Jingjing like my first love." "In my words, Nima's, fat man, you just let people go, it's not that she's abusing you, it's that you're abusing her.