Happy Spring Festival, everyone~~! All wishes come true, all the best, the Year of the Ox is even more bullish~~~~!!

*

^o^ old lines:

It's still a fairy tale.

It's still the same sentence, I know that these articles are idiots, the text doesn't pay attention to logic and doesn't pay attention to blind breaking, but I still hope to make everyone laugh in the New Year's Festival.

：）

And again, it's really nonsense......

If you're not laughing, if you're angry...... Ahem, for the New Year, you are a little lighter under the bricks......

*

^0^ New Lines:

This is the last fairy tale.

In this article, I actually only love the last sentence.

Above.

Gloomy sixteen gloomy crawl away......

————————

If the gold had been covered with a layer of honey and slurped, it would have been sweet, and I might have considered keeping it.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' - The daughter of the sea is greedy for Xuan

****

Since the author learned how to make a wish for his birthday, every year he made a wish: "God, please give me a physique that I can't eat without getting fat!" ”

But Su, such a wish has never been realized.

The author often curses the skinny while binge-eating......

The prototype of this princess is a woman who has the same good wishes as the author, so when choosing a role, a certain Xuan said, I want to be a mermaid.

Why rice? The author is curious. Are you testing me? The mermaid is a tragedy, write the tragedy as a spoof drama...... It's a challenge......

"Because the group of grass Ah Da said that if you want to stay in shape, the best exercise is swimming. Swimming can balance the body, and the flesh of the whole body can be evenly distributed in the upper and lower halves...... There will be no 'swimming rings' and 'bye-bye meat'. A certain Xuan said.

"Mermaids swim every day...... "A certain Xuan Xiong waved his paw and said, "so the mermaid must not be fat no matter how much you eat!! ”

As a result, the heroine of this article has become a greedy mermaid princess who won't get fat when she eats in the water.

*

Uh-huh, that's it, Aquaman's youngest daughter, the mermaid princess, has a super good figure and ...... Oversized appetite.

Since Greedy Xuan grew up, the mantra of his father Haiwang has changed from "Our country is rich in land" to "My kingdom will be eaten by my youngest daughter Greedy Xuan." ”

"You go teach her some simple magic," said his father, Aquaman, to his stepmother, Dove the Octopus Witch, "and that might distract her from eating so much." God knows how she has such a good appetite! She keeps stuffing things into her mouth as long as she's free!! ”

Dove's stepmother said, "No problem, leave it to me." I'll guide her with my magic. ”

"At the same time, in order to get in touch with the relationship, otherwise she may not agree to the matter of me marrying you......" Father Aquaman sighed, "You let her have more......"

Dove's stepmother said, "No problem, leave it to me." I will touch her with my love. ”

(——A certain Xuan: Why is Mi a stepmother again?!)

- Author: It seems that I said that I am a stepmother.

- A certain Xuan: Why is Mi Dove!! You've accepted a bribe from your stepmother, Dove Chocolate, right?!

- Author: Heaven and earth conscience, I don't have it, I only received a bottle of fresh oranges...... It happened to be Valentine's Day when I wrote this fairy tale, wasn't it for the occasion...... Is it called the Rose Stepmother? ）

Since then, Gluttony has been thrown into the house of the witch Dove's stepmother to begin her magical studies.

The world is always not in line with our imagination, not in line with anyone's imagination.

Greedy Xuan soon deviated from her father's original intention, and the witch's magic was used by Greedy Xuan to make new dishes, and the witch's love did not impress Greedy Xuan, but made her herself a "guinea pig" for Greedy Xuan to taste new dishes.

At the beginning, Dove's stepmother thought she was Dove dark chocolate, first bitter and then sweet, and always felt that there was still a future drop.

But when she found that after countless years, there was no improvement in the skill of gluttonous Xuan, and she could eat her dead and alive every time, she finally realized that she was not Dove dark chocolate at all, she was not Coptis at all, and there was no sweetness when she sat on the ground.

Either explode in silence or perish in silence. Dove's stepmother chose to break out first.

Dove's stepmother began to refuse to eat any food she was given, refusing all the requests she made. As a result, this black-bellied stepdaughter, who specially picked the presence of the Sea King, appeared cunningly, pretending to be pitiful, and with tears in her eyes, she used clever words to lead all the wrong things to Dove's stepmother, as if she was deliberately abusing her stepdaughter. In fact, the one who was tortured was whether she was good or not.

Last time, she, who was praised as a well-behaved stepdaughter by Aquaman, randomly took some medicines in her pharmacy and mixed them together, and specially picked Aquaman to serve them to her when he was present, and then said to her in a very gentle tone with a very loli expression, this is food specially made for her, and I hope she is getting better and more beautiful. She had to drink it......

Then, she lay in a hospital bed for three whole years.

The consequence of Dove's stepmother's outburst was that she almost perished.

It's not that the stepmother is incompetent, it's that the stepdaughter is too cunning. Dove's stepmother looked up to the sky and sighed, and finally decided to accept her fate. If you can't defeat the enemy, join them.

As a result, her helpless river crab turned against her. Only greed and life are obeyed, this is the basis of survival.

It's not that a certain Xuan is incompetent, but that her stepmother is too forbidden to live. There is no doubt that Greedy Xuan's original intention was really to kill this prospective stepmother, but nine times out of ten, her life was unsatisfactory, and Greedy Xuan had no choice but to abuse her stepmother while being greedy, and at the same time cursing the author for not writing her more ruthlessly......

That, insert a sentence, as an author, I'm really wronged, although my stepmother gave me a bottle of delicious fresh oranges, but this is by no means the reason why my stepmother didn't hang up as soon as she appeared! Well, what, at least not the main reason. The main reason is that the stepmother needs to trigger a series of events, which is a must-have for home writing......

The first event that is triggered is that Dove's stepmother is still married to Aquaman - please don't blame the father king, and don't blame the author, because if she doesn't marry Aquaman, then she is not a real stepmother.

On the day of their wedding, Gluttonous Xuan depressedly refused to attend the wedding banquet, and, in order not to hear the excitement and hustle, she specially swam to the sea.

However, the world is not as good as everyone imagined, and the sea is not quiet.

His Royal Highness Hallelujah, the fourteenth prince of the Gallodi Empire, happened to celebrate his fourteenth birthday today. And this prince happened to have a convulsion and had to hold a birthday party on his luxury yacht. And this luxury yacht happened to sail to the territorial waters of his father, Aquaman......

In short, a series of coincidences caused the hapless Prince Hallelujah to hit the muzzle of the gun and was burned out by the anger of Glutton.

Looking at the dazzling fireworks in the sky, Gluttony Xuan smiled, raised her arms, pointed to the night sky, and said loudly, "How can you be so happy when I'm not happy?!" This is unforgivable! ”

……

And just like that, for the first time, the magic of the Witch Cult was used for something other than cooking – subverting Prince Hallelujah's luxury yacht.

(I have to interject again, the prince's name is Hallelujah is not my intention, it is what a certain Xuan meant.) I said it might as well be called OMG, and I was beaten up. If you can't defeat the enemy, you will join them, so my river crab will give in lovingly...... Prince, your name is hallelujah. May the Lord bless you. Amen. ）

And so, as you know, the prince's ship capsized, and the prince fell into the sea.

The name Hallelujah is not called for nothing, God will protect his fans properly, and as soon as the prince fell into the sea, a box floated near him...... As the prince grabbed the chest, he smelled a sweet smell, a box full of dessert and champagne.

Please don't ask me how the dessert doesn't get wet in the water, I can only answer you, this is a dessert box arranged by God, can you make it wet?

Greed is not enough to swallow an elephant, and when the prince is not worried about eating and drinking, he suddenly thinks how good it would be if there was a beautiful woman to accompany him through this dangerous and exciting night.

God is a responsible idol, and he will often fulfill all the reasonable requests of his fans, no, the mermaid princess of Aquaman, the youngest and most beautiful daughter known as Thunderbolt Baby, is swimming in the direction of the prince at a speed of 180 knots.

Prince Hallelujah was so excited that he waited for the beauty with open arms with bright eyes and a smile like a spring breeze*.

It's a pity that the brain structure of Gluttonous Xuan is different from that of most beauties, and the poor prince only waited for a cruel and ruthless tail sweep, as well as a hard-hearted sentence: "Get out, this box of food is the first thing the old lady saw!" ”

What an incomprehensible woman this is! The fourteen-year-old beautiful young prince Hallelujah grudgingly deeply imprinted this woman's appearance into his mind.

Many years later, it was the same sea area, the same two people, staged a "tragic" bloody case, and traced down to the root cause, this box full of food was the first to fall Nominomi. This is famous, "A Bloody Case Caused by a Box".

Well, let's move on to the moment.

Right now, Gluttonous Xuan is holding the box, trying to open it but can't do it.

While pondering, Prince Hallelujah swam twice, grabbed the box, and began the first transaction of his life: "Hey, chick, I have to tell you, this is the box that fell from my ship, it is my box, you should learn to keep the road unturned!" I said, how about you push me to the shore and I'll give you the contents of this box? If you can find my guards to pick me up, I'll give you two more boxes of food, what do you think? ”

However, the only thing that answered him was the gluttonous Xuan's iron fist and the contemptuous gaze of "Are you a fool?"

The prince hurriedly flashed, and then began to increase the price: "4 boxes!" ”

Left hook.

"8 boxes!!"

Right hook.

"16 boxes !!"

A head mallet......

……

When this number rose to 256, Gluttonous Xuan finished a set of Dragon and Tiger Fists, and she felt a little tired, so the two reached a peace agreement.

After Prince Hallelujah went ashore, because he had no property to pledge, and he could not write an IOU without pen and paper, he had to tear a gold button from his uniform and hand it to Glutton, saying: "What I promised you will not be repaid, this is character." The pit that has been dug will definitely be filled, this is the pit product. This buckle is a token, you keep it, and you come to me with this ten days later, 256 boxes of desserts are not a lot of yours. ”

Impressed by the prince's character, Greedy Xuan generously shared a cake and champagne with him, then took his gold buttons, hid behind the reef, and waited until someone found and rescued Prince Hallelujah before she swam back to the sea satisfied.

*

Gluttony Xuan was only happy for three days, and found a very difficult problem.

With 256 boxes of dessert back, she couldn't eat them all at once, and there was no way to guarantee the dry storage conditions needed for the cake......

I had to become a human first, and then go back to the sea after eating enough desserts. Gluttony Xuan thought.

It's not that you can become a human being if you become human, but usually witches have a way.

Thus, Dove's stepmother became the key trigger for the second time.

"If you don't agree, I'll make you a sizzling squid." Gluttonous Xuan threatened Dove's stepmother like this, "Give me medicine that can turn into a human being." ”

Sizzling squid is every octopus's nightmare.

Dove's stepmother didn't say a word, but agreed.

"But I have to tell you, being human isn't for you." Dove's stepmother still said responsibly, "Because you are too greedy, although your body is not out of shape because of swimming all year round, the weight of your bones has been increasing...... You don't feel anything in the water because of buoyancy, but if you walk on the shore, you will find it quite difficult, every step is very heavy, all the force is pressed on the bones of the foot, and the pain is like walking on the tip of a knife...... Can you really stand it? ”

"Why should I walk?" Gluttony asked strangely, "I just need to find a comfortable place to lie down, spend a few days eating all my 256 boxes of desserts and come back." There's no need to walk. ”

“……==|||||||…… All right. Dove's stepmother said, "I'll send you straight to your debtor, but this magic is like this, if you want to come back, you have to smear your debtor's blood on your feet in order to turn back into a fishtail." ”

"Well, okay, I remember, give me the medicine."

A bowl of black and mushy medicinal juice was handed over to Gluttonous Xuan.

"Oh my God, I like desserts the most, but you actually made such a bitter medicine!! Quick Sugar !! Gluttonous Xuan tried it with the tip of her tongue and began to shout.

A tablespoon of sugar.

"Damn, you're too stingy, how can you solve your misery with such a little bit?! Add a little more!! ”

Three tablespoons of sugar.

"Holy, your sugar is expired, right?! Why is it still so bitter?! Plus!! ”

Half a jar of sugar.

"Bitter, bitter, bitter! You did it on purpose, right?! You're looking for death, aren't you?! ”

Two jars of sugar.

"That's pretty much it." Gluttonous Xuan finally felt that she was not bitter, she raised her neck, drank the whole bowl of medicine, and then dropped the bowl, and looked up to the sky and smiled: "Wowhahahahaha, 256 boxes of desserts, I'm here!!!! ”

*****

Countless heroines who travel through the text have an indissoluble bond with water, they either cross when swimming or bathing, or appear in the rivers, lakes and seas hot spring pools after crossing.

A sea daughter is worn deep under the sea in her stepmother's laboratory, where will her destination be?

In the pond of the prince's house? Out of the water hibiscus? You're a nymphomaniac!

In the Prince's Bathtub? Damn, you're a werewolf girl, right?!

Don't forget the name of our heroine! Gluttony!!

In the kitchen?! Almost. But she is a greedy Xuan, not a chef. Think about food, think about fish, think about water......

The answer is coming, don't you know it yet?

It's a pot of boiled fish......

When Gluttony crawled out of the pot of boiled fish soup, the main dish of a grand dinner, the whole Gallodi kingdom was shaken......

Looking at the stunned Prince Hallelujah, Gluttony Xuan wanted to say "I'm here to collect debts" and "TMD, the old lady doesn't eat spicy food, put less chili peppers next time", but she couldn't say a word.

His throat was dry, astringent, swollen and painful, and his mouth was sweet and greasy, and he couldn't make a sound at all.

"TMD, you really shouldn't add so much sugar to your medicine!!" This is the first "human" life essence that Gluttony Xuan realized after wearing it.

Honey who likes candy, in order to protect your throat, please be sure to eat less sugar, eat less sugar.

*

The mouth has two functions, eating and talking.

If you can't speak, all that's left is to eat.

What's more, eating is a gluttonous specialty.

The food cooked over the fire was so delicious that Gluttony almost swallowed her tongue together.

Flower cooking quail, fried duck paws, chicken tongue soup, deer unique brewed Jiang Yao, mandarin duck fried beef tendon, juhua rabbit shreds, roe deer legs, ginger vinegar gold and silver hooves, the mountains are as precious as possible, and she can't think of anything delicious under the sea.

Carved plum balls, fragrant cherries, honey shoot flowers, medicinal grapes, perilla persimmon, jujube rings, pear flesh, sugar frosting jade bees, so sweet that she can't remember anything beautiful under the sea.

Every day, she sat on the bed covered with 20 layers of eiderdown quilts and ate a lot, ate and slept, slept and ate, and completely "lingered".

After she stopped swimming, the balance of her body was broken, and her whole person swelled, and finally lost her beauty and became the weight of the country.

It was no longer a joke to overwhelm the country and the city, since Gluttony lived in Prince Hallelujah's palace, the reserves of the Gallodian Imperial Palace were reduced at an unprecedented rate, and the treasury became more and more empty, so taxes were further increased and the people's living standards fell sharply......

"She's a terrible monster." The king of the Gallodi Empire finally spoke, "I knew it when she crawled out of the boiled fish soup!! ”

Kesu, dear king, at that time you did not raise any objections, and applauded vigorously: "This show is really creative, reward!" ”

"She's only going to bring disaster." The king said.

But So, dear king, when you found that there had been no such calamity as a tsunami since her appearance, praised her, "It is you who have brought good fortune, my child." ”

"She's going to eat the country." The king said.

Well, dear king, everyone agrees on this, Gluttony Xuan does have this strength.

"Get rid of her." The king said to his fourteenth son, Hallelujah.

"But, Father, don't you think she's special when she eats?" There was some kind of inexplicable glint in Prince Hallelujah's eyes, "I like to watch her eat, so feasting, so unscrupulous, I feel fragrant when I watch her eat, and now I can't even eat if I don't eat with her." ”

"I didn't think she was special." The king said, "I only know that with her in my kingdom I am very poor." ”

“……>_0<||||||”

*

Uh-huh, that's it. The prince and princess live happily ever after at the bottom of the sea.

Sometimes two people will also surface the sea, sit on the reef and snuggle together to watch the sun set.

"Why did you fall in love with me?" Gluttonous Xuan always likes to ask like this.

"I love watching you eat and see how delicious you eat! When you look at it, you feel that life is beautiful. Prince Hallelujah always replied.

[Love is sometimes very simple, that is, as long as I see you, I will feel that life is very beautiful. 】

(End of this article)