The monk's name is Shi Juejing, I only know that he is an old man, maybe eighty or ninety years old, I don't know weishenme, I have always been curious about his age, but I have never asked him, until I have no chance to ask, when I was with him, I just listened to him tell me all kinds of Buddhist knowledge, now I think about it, he is saving me, and other Dharma teachers, he is using specific examples to talk about a lot of seemingly profound Buddhism.

He talked about his experience, very bumpy, he is very persevering, it can also be said to be determined, he has walked a road that ordinary people can not imagine, here, I have no right to tell his story, I can only tell my own story, and he chatted with him for more than half a year, my physical and mental state is improving, and I found an enviable job in a private company, maybe all fate is destined, everything is fate and death.

That day, I had a dream, I dreamed that Master Juejing was sitting on a lotus flower, and several general-like people were holding magic weapons, accompanied by his left and right, in the dream, I seemed to understand, Master Juejing's possession has achieved positive results, I was very envious in the dream, and that kind of envy is indescribable in words, just like a person who is about to die of thirst in the desert sees others taking a bath.

After waking up from the dream, I ran to Master Juejing's side and told him about my dream, which was only 3 o'clock in the morning, the sun came out late in the northern winter, and at 3 o'clock in the morning, the sky was full of stars, and the master didn't know whether he hadn't slept all night or had already woken up.

In short, he was dressed neatly, and he knew that I was coming, and as soon as we met, he said, "There is merit in becoming a monk." Becoming a monk also depends on chance", I didn't understand at all, I said Master. I had a dream that Master Juejing was very kind, and he always smiled and talked to people, no matter who it was, no matter what he said, he never interrupted.

That day he was uncharacteristically waved his hand. He stopped me from speaking and continued, "If you practice Buddhism alone, you are a Hinayana person. Helping people to become Buddhas is true generosity." I didn't understand, and I didn't dare to ask looking at his serious expression. He went on to say, "Hell is not empty. Swear not to become a Buddha, all sentient beings are exhausted, and you must remember! ”

I still didn't understand, and asked, what kind of people can I save, and he said, "There are destined people", at that moment. I suddenly remembered that dream, remembered that envy. I said, Master, let me tell you about my dream, and he waved his hand again, not letting me say it, and he said to me, "You remember, the study of Buddhism begins with keeping the precepts, and self-cultivation is based on charity, so let's go!" After saying that, he sat down with his eyes closed, and ignored me anymore, and I wanted to tell him my dream, but I never had a chance, so I left.

On the way, I unconsciously repeated the words: "Hell is not empty, vow not to become a Buddha, all sentient beings are exhausted, Fang Zheng Bodhi, Hell is not empty, vow not to become a Buddha, all living beings are exhausted, Fang Zheng Bodhi" I got the company every morning at 7 o'clock before dawn, working for capitalists is like this, no human rights, no human feelings, no humanity, people are busy like machines, people can't think about anything, those days are very busy, there is half a month, I suddenly remembered to go to see Master Juejing, Because I haven't told him about that dream of mine yet.

When I went to the temple, a monk told me that Juejing had gone to the mountains, to retreat, and the time was the day I saw him, and a thought flashed in my mind at that time, the master passed away, and as soon as this thought flashed, I quickly hinted to myself, impossible, the master is in such good health, no.

But then a voice sounded in my ears again, "He is dead," and then two people, and then several people told me in my ear, "He is dead, he is dead," and I recalled my dream, and the Master's words that day, and all the details, and I seemed certain that he was really gone.

At this time, a cold sweat broke out on my body, because they came out again, the voice in my ears was a foreshadowing, I thought it was not bad at all, and then my life was changed by them again, in the company, I couldn't concentrate, I made frequent mistakes, and the boss fired me very unceremoniously.

I wasn't unhappy at the time, but said something that was very inconsistent with my identity and quality: "You drive carefully", the boss was stunned, but this capitalist still has quality, he said xiexie, I took a month's salary and left.

Walking on a busy street, I feel very lonely, my heart is very cold, I am very helpless, I want to say that I am convinced, but I don't know who to say, I want to live an ordinary life of an ordinary person, but that is a luxury for me, out of reach, I even envy those who live at the bottom of society, those who beg along the street, they at least have their own happiness, and I seem to have been insulated from happiness.

That night, I found a small restaurant by myself, got drunk, and then came home, fell asleep, slept until midnight, I woke up, according to my habit, at this time, I woke up, is looking for water to drink, but this time is different, as if I didn't drink any wine, very sober, as if I haven't been so sober for several years, I remembered the words of Master Juejing, thought repeatedly, thought of dawn, I was sick again.

During the day, I felt that my body and consciousness were no longer my own, I seemed to float, and I floated like this, and my colleague who was working with me came to see me, and I got a message from him, the boss of the company where I worked drove by himself, had a car accident, and couldn't save both legs.

My colleague humorously said that anyway, the capitalist is rich, and if he has no legs, he can hire someone to carry it, and this news could have made me gloat, but I lost that mood, because this matter was once unfortunate to me, and the days of coma and misery began again.

I began to visit all kinds of horse immortals, the silver spent a lot, the most impressive time was in a farmer's house, when a great god, a two gods (helpers), two gods held a drum, while playing and singing, singing very well, I felt a good wind, blowing me, the head unconsciously put up, the two gods asked me who I was, I want to say the name of a fairy family.

But I controlled it, I said my name, the great god told me not to control, I can say whatever I want, I think, if there is really a god on my body, I should not know anything, just they speak by themselves, how can I be conscious, I think it must be the two gods singing the lyrics to give me psychological hints, I can't listen to them, listen to them, I will be fooled, I will want to cry for a while, I want to laugh for a while, but I control it.

That's it, I asked for ten days, there was no effect, after that time, my illness became even more serious, every day there was no place in my body that didn't hurt, there was no mood that wasn't irritable, I started to chant Buddha, I recited a sentence of Nan Wu Amitabha, my heart and mouth cramped, I read a sentence, it hurt, I didn't dare to read it, I thought, this is to make me break off the idea of becoming a monk.

At that time, I thought of death again, but every time I thought of death, I thought of my elderly parents, I used to be their hope, their pride, and now, I can only be their concern, and the cause of all this can only be those invisible things, thinking about it, I have a full hatred for the immortal family. (To be continued......)