"I'm sorry......" Tears fell down my cheeks, and I quietly looked at the man in front of me.

He had a skin as if it were as clear as ever, handsome eyebrows, and sharp eyes that showed a look of pain that did not match him.

"Jade, have nightmares again?" A voice came from beside him, with concern and concern.

"It's none of your business." Turning over, he turned his face to the side of the window, not wanting the woman next to him to see his cold sweat and panicked expression.

Yes, I have these dreams all the time.

The slightly trembling hands in the dream, the man's tears, and the woman's words hovered in my mind again and again, making me want to hate, but I didn't know who to hate, I wanted to escape, but I couldn't escape.

- "If you think killing her will free you, kill her." ”

These are the words spoken by the woman lying beside him at this time. Like a sharp sword, every time you remember it, you will stab yourself once.

If you don't love me at all, then why are you pregnant with me and give birth to me?!

Holding the quilt tightly in his arms, he endured and endured, and the tears still flowed down disobediently, wetting his cheeks and his pillow.

"Jade, eat more, do you want to fry it again......" The woman's face was pale, unlike herself, what she had on her face was a sickly white. Years of hard work, hard work, and physical work, the pain of losing her husband, and the grief of her daughter being terminally ill, all of these are enough to completely break any woman, and she ......

With his head down, he stuffed bread and milk into his mouth without knowing the taste, gritted his teeth, and rushed out with hurtful words: "If you don't eat, it's a big deal, you're starving to death!" ”

Yes, I want to die......

He has been slashed with countless knives on his wrist, but he still can't end his life. He once jumped into the sea at will, but was beaten back to the shore by the waves.

Every time, after I killed myself, this woman would stay by my side with a pale face, biting her lip, refusing to cry, but firmly by my side.

She loves me, I know. But neither I nor my father can bring her a sad future. Why, knowing that the future is like this, she still stays by her father's side? Why do you still have to give birth to yourself?

"Jade ......" The woman sighed helplessly, with a forced smile on her face, "It's my mother who is not good, what do you want to eat......"

"I don't eat anything!" Dropped the fork, turned and rushed out.

I was just twelve years old, and I was already much more precocious than my peers, but the depression in my heart made me unable to dissolve into any circle and accept anyone.

Walking on the street in a daze, this wandering, that is, for two whole days, when the mother was full of anxiety to find herself, just stunned, stupidly followed behind her, walking home.

John's house next door was moving, and after a quick glance, I entered the door of my house.

Today's mother no longer showed the same whiteness and loneliness when she found herself running around and even attempting suicide, as she used to be, but with a gentle, faint smile, she carried my clothes and prepared dinner for me.

"Jade, if one day, my mother is the same as my father, and I am gone......" It was the first time, she said to herself in this solemn tone, and couldn't help it, she looked up to meet her eyes that were very tired, but with tenacity and persistence, "Mom only wants you to remember one thing - whether it is me or your father, I hope you can live well." Live with hope. ”

At that time, I didn't understand why she said this, because, the next day, her mother died.

Pale skin, quiet face, everything is the same as usual, but different from the past. Because, in this shell, there is no soul left.

When people die, where does the soul go?

I didn't cry, I just stood in front of the grave and watched her face disappear before my eyes.

There is no one but the pastor's prayers.

On my father's side, I was the only one left, and my mother was the same, who seemed to have followed my father from the mainland. Now, there is nothing else for me but that house.

Without worries, without goals, what should I do?

The only pillar, my mother, has passed away, so let me see the world again before I die.

"Where are you from?" A big ginger cat squatted at the door of the house, and when it saw my appearance, it put on an expression that seemed to be the only one in the sky and the earth, and dragged it to make a "meow-".

The voice is flat, it sounds flat, and it's weird.

"I can't support you." Because, I decided, before I died, to travel all over the world, to see its mountains and rivers, its customs - although, I don't love it. However, I want to remember it.

took his own salute, ignored the newly moved Chinese neighbor next door, and got on the plane alone, flying to the other side of the ocean without any purpose.

"You...... How did you come along?! "If it's just the same coat color, it's fine, but even the drag momentum on its face is exactly the same! Plus that mediocre cry...... How could anyone be mistaken?

"Did you sneak on the plane?!" The thought shocked me, but the big cat wagged its tail and followed closely to him, refusing to leave a single step.

Well, if you want to follow, then follow.

One person, one cat, walked through one country after another. It never took the initiative to buy food for it, but it would always disappear for a few minutes while it was eating, and when it came back, it would either have bread or sausages in its mouth, and I don't know if it had gone to secretly rummage through the garbage can, or if it had gone to someone else's house to be a thief.

Every time you go to a country, even if you take a plane for a few days or nights, as soon as you leave the airport, you can see its traces. Silently stood there, and then followed him with a tail like a flagpole.

With it, the men who are bored to talk to are always startled by the threatening sound it finds and dare not get close.

Before I knew it, I had become accustomed to traveling with it around me.