Rather, it was in her arms, the man she regarded as a treasure, called Killing Flame.

As long as he beckons, he can have everything he wants, with the warmth of his mother and the love of his mother. And even if I want to see my mother, I have to have my head broken by the nurse in exchange for a look from her, which is still so cold......

But......

I want that kind of warmth, too!

That time, I don't know how I survived. After that, I didn't know what was going on, and I always begged the nurse to call my mother again. The nurse looked at me with a sad face every time, and at that time, I didn't know how difficult this request was!

It wasn't until years later that I understood.

Some people are born without having to do anything, they can have warmth, just like my brother, Killing Flame. And for some people, this kind of warmth is a luxury, which is impossible to get no matter how much you wag your tail and beg for mercy, no matter how humble you beg, just like me.

A person who even has a name, and the nurse is begging for it on her knees!

Since then, a seed of jealousy has been planted in my heart and has taken root.

The nurse told me that the Buddha fights for a stick of incense, and people fight for a breath.

If you are born humble, then strive to be strong.

Only when you are strong can you get everything you want!

I believed! This sentence seems to be imprinted in my heart, and it is this sentence that supports me to survive every time I am desperate and have nothing to love.

No one knows how much I paid to become stronger!

Like, no one knows how cold the dungeon is in Layuetian!

It was like a scar I didn't want to uncover for a long time, it didn't hurt, but it never went away. Later, the nurse was gone, and the only person who had given me warmth could no longer come in to visit me. In the whole dungeon, I was the only one left, alone and in the company of endless loneliness.

I thought that no one would be nice to me except the nurse.

However, she appeared. A woman like a god, so pure and immaculate, so clean and spotless. Her hands were as clean as green and white jade, and my body was as dirty as a beggar. She handed me a bun, but I didn't dare take it.

My ridiculous inferiority complex was committed.

I'm afraid that if I do, I'll let her see my dirty hands......

I threw the bun away, but as soon as she left, I hurriedly picked it up again, reluctant to eat it. Finally watched it rot......

A little bit of warmth makes me precious.

I haven't seen her since. Even if the stinky monk came again, I didn't see her. I heard the jailer say that she was the saint who killed the country, and the person who blessed us with the peace and prosperity of the country.

She became a secret that I didn't want to tell outsiders......

I thought there would be no goodbye to me later. But I never thought that when the stinky monk said that he wanted to suppress the demonic energy in my body during a chance outing, I saw her again. At that time, I was thrown in the furnace by the stinky monk, saying that he wanted to refine the demonic energy in my body! It was so hot and uncomfortable in the furnace, and I kept crying and begging for mercy in pain, but it was useless. At that time, I saw her coming from the hollow of the furnace.

And by her side, there is my fellow brother!

In front of my brother, she smiled skillfully, and said "Brother Yan" one by one, as if she was going to melt people's hearts. My brother, on the other hand, would call her "smile" and touch her head, and she would smile.

The laughter of the two of them was so dazzling, it was like countless needles piercing my heart!

And the hand he reached out to touch her head......

That hand......

It's so clean and fair!

I looked down at myself, the same age, the same appearance, but his hands were so clean, and my hands, palms were blisters scalded by the inner walls of the furnace, and the filth and dust that had been in the dungeon for a long time, ugly, unbearable!

If he gets hurt even a little, someone will bandage him. And even if I am covered in bruises, even if I am burned to death in this furnace today, no one else will care except the nurse!

Why?

Why is such warmth so close to him? But they are ...... from me So far away? There was only one furnace away, but I felt like I was so far away from them! I was in pain until I had spasms in the furnace, and I didn't say a word again!

Then I fainted, woke up, and went back to that dungeon.

It was the nurse who saved me again, and I still remember that when I woke up and saw her, the first thing I asked was, "Nurse, why...... It's me, not him? ”

Why is it that I am the one who is abandoned, and not him?

Why is it I, not him, who has suffered so much?

Why is there such a big gap when it comes out of a mother's womb?

The nurse was red-eyed and hugged me and cried.

I asked her what was wrong, and she showed me the jar of medicine, which was used up and half of my wounds were smeared. This medicine jar is still a jar that the nurse begged others to give alms to. She looked at the empty jar and cried so sadly that I could only wipe her tears for her. "Nurse, it's okay, I'm used to this little injury."

She cried even more sadly, "Evil, ......"

That night, she hugged me all night, and I was convulsed all night because I had no medicine. She hugged me and whispered, "Just bear with me...... It's good to be patient......"

I glared at the cold walls around me, and asked in my heart.

Why...... Should I endure such pain?

The nurse wanted to stay any longer, but the next morning, she was sent out by the jailers. The nurse cried and begged, "Brothers, it's okay, let Yu Niang accompany him for a while, just for a while!" ”

"What to accompany, what to accompany. A person who will bring disaster to the killing country, what is there to accompany? If you die early, our brothers can have a few drinks! Hey, it's so unlucky, let's go! After the jailer had finished speaking, he dragged the nurse away. The nurse refused to let go, and was beaten by them.

I staggered over, trying to stop me, but they beat me up.

I protected the nurse to the death, and I could only say hatefully, "Today's grievances, I will repay them again tomorrow!" ”

After I yelled, they hit harder. The nurse hurriedly protected me in her arms, and that time...... The nurse was beaten to the point of death, lying next to me dying, and I was trembling with fright, and the group of jailers were angry and spat at me. "Return? I'd like to see how you give it back! Since this old thing doesn't go out, then throw it here, anyway, it's just an old palace maid who is serving her master in the cold palace, I'm afraid she won't make it? Drag this kid out, I'll teach him what it means to be a prisoner! ”

The nurse was anxious to stop her, but she was kicked against the wall by the jailer, and blood continued to ooze from her forehead......

And I'm ...... Hung up by this jailer and whipped me for three days!

Three days later, I was lucky not to die, but the nurse was dying! I tried to get a doctor to save her, but I couldn't get out! The jailer said that as soon as I kneeled from his crotch. After drilling down, he can report to the top and call the imperial doctor. I believed it, and my mouth bit out blood, and I got on my knees......

But they backtracked!

Kicked me back to my cell.

I'll never forget how he stood outside the cage and looked at me, laughing wildly. "Cheap thing, dare to tell Lao Tzu to take revenge on me in the future, and now it's not like a dog that drills through Lao Tzu's crotch? Stay honest, I'm happy to be able to reward you with some food today. If you don't like Lao Tzu, Lao Tzu will let you drink the dirt. Who would know? What is it called...... The old thing, if you die, you will die, but who cares if you are just a palace maid? When the time comes, Lao Tzu will sweep a shop, take it out and throw it away, and no one will know. ”

Humiliation? Wrath? Hatred?

All of these things are inflating wildly in my heart. But when I was young, I couldn't do anything at all, so I could only hold the nurse stupidly, rubbing her body and giving her warmth as she once did to me. But no matter how warm my hands and feet are, I can't warm them.

The nurse touched me weakly, "Silly child, the nurse is fine, just need to rest...... Don't be afraid ......"

I red-eyed, "Nurse, it's Zixuan's incompetence." ”