I didn't leave the hospital right away. The root cause of Jiang Feng's injury this time is still for me, I can't just walk away, when I think of his bloodless lips, his sweat, and his weak appearance, I can't calm down for a moment when I return home...... So, in order to seek a psychological balance, I still wandered around the hospital, humbly and secretly looked at the door of his ward, but I never dared to walk in again, not because of Gu Minyi's existence, but because I was afraid of facing his pair of cold eyes again, yes, I was almost 'scared'~

Once upon a time, when I could manipulate his feelings casually and enjoy his pursuit wantonly, I didn't have much happiness, but now, being able to get a smile from him, a look of affirmation, is an unattainable dream...... Why did I suddenly become so humble, just because, I realized that I was going to really lose this man, I couldn't go back to him in this life, no matter how I lowered my posture and compromised with him, I couldn't get his heart back, and I was going to be completely lost by me...... I was stuck in a dead end, feeling like my whole world was collapsing, so desperate and heartbroken, and unable to do anything about it. Several times, I wanted to rush into the hospital room to express my strong longing for him, but I gritted my teeth again and again to hold back, and then went back to the car and cried bitterly.

This day is worse than death, and every day is as long as a world, and every second of breath hurts...... I can't die, I can't live well, I have to use alcohol and work to numb myself, but it's useless, no matter what I do, his shadow is dangling in front of my eyes, and the ghost is still in my mind all the time, I am so cowardly that I can't control my thoughts, I just live in a mess...... I hit someone while driving, inexplicably got angry at an employee for throwing something during a meeting, and tore up a draft that the designer handed in for me to review...... But at this time of dire straits, another episode occurred.

At noon that day, when I went to the design center for a meeting, I happened to meet an employee who was carrying boxes of things outside, although I was lost and not in a state, but I instinctively became alert to this picture, and casually asked, "What is in this cardboard box, where are you going to move it?" ”

"This-" The male employees in charge of the handling looked young and young, presumably fresh graduates helping with chores, and were in awe of me, but looked at the director of the design center.

The design director looked embarrassed and paused slightly before bowing his head to me and saying, "That's the case...... That, didn't you plan to marry Mr. Jiang Feng last year, Jiang Feng specially organized a department to design a wedding dress for you, and he also created more than a dozen design drafts himself, plus the design of our department, there are almost dozens of models, and then he asked for all the finished products, and when the time comes, you will pick them one by one...... But then you ......"

The director paused again, and explained even more embarrassed, "Didn't you two cancel the wedding again, these wedding dresses were all placed in the warehouse here in our design center, and no one touched them, but yesterday morning, Gu Minyi and Mr. Gu came to the company and said that it was ...... She is going to marry Mr. Jiang, and at Mr. Jiang's request, she needs to send these wedding dresses to their residence, and she wants to pick a ...... to get married."

I felt slashed in my heart again, and I couldn't help but put my hands on the edge of the table next to me, and I felt my hands tremble......

"Why didn't you inform me," I snapped.

"I was going to ask for your opinion first, but the secretary said that you have been in a bad mood during this time, and we don't want to bother you if we don't have very important work, and I also consider that this batch of wedding dresses is quite sensitive to you, and Mr. Gu urged it several times, so I could only send it over first," the director explained cautiously, his voice getting smaller and lower, and his head getting lower and lower. ”

Anger burned in my heart, and I couldn't find an outlet to vent, so I took the director under the knife and reprimanded her angrily, "Are you a pig brain? If you are an executive in the company, you can't even handle this little thing?! Are these wedding dresses part of the company's assets, and any messy person outside the company has the right to dispose of them? Put it back for me right away! ”

"Okay, good," the director nodded and immediately ordered several employees to move back to the warehouse.

After scolding, I was trembling with anger, just took a few steps, and after a change of thought, I turned around and ordered the general manager of design, "No need to move back, take it all to the factory and find a place to burn ......it."

The director was stunned for a moment, and quickly nodded, "Okay, I'll do it immediately!" ”

Yes, even if this pile of wedding dresses is a gift he gave me at the beginning, each one is designed for me, I really can't accept the sweet picture of Gu Minyi wearing these wedding dresses and swearing marriage with him...... I'd rather burn them all and pay tribute to the so-called 'love' that died and left me with a lot of holes~

There was a small episode of the wedding incident, and I was also more aware of the fact that they were going to get married...... Yes, they're getting married, and that's really something that hurts just thinking about it. In the future, she and he will be husband and wife, they will be right, they are the right match, they will sleep together every day, he will ask her, hug her, do all the crazy intimate things I have done with him, and then, they will soon have children, and his emotional focus will be on children...... He will gradually let go of the part with me in that new married life, until one day when he sees me again, there is no love or hate, and we will eventually become strangers.

No!

I contemplated his marriage in the middle of the night and couldn't help but burst into tears...... Such a deep darkness, such a deep despair, surrounded me heavily, I tossed and turned, always thinking about the sweetness of the past, thinking about his kindness to me, crying while thinking about it, the contrast between the beautiful memories and the cruel reality made me chill all over, and I had never been so afraid of 'losing' for a moment...... However, there is no solution to this boundless pain except to swallow it silently. Why, after living to this age, I have experienced winds and waves, but I still can't get over the hurdle of men......

I don't know what time it was in the middle of the night, Lao Hu knocked on the door and entered my bedroom.

He probably heard my low sobs, and turned on the light when he came in, I quickly wiped my eyes and woke up, "Dad, you haven't slept yet?" ”

"......" He looked at me deeply and worriedly, walked to my bedside, looked at me for a while and sat down on the edge of the bed, and touched my head lovingly, "Baby, tell Dad all the pain in your heart, if you continue like this, I will be more miserable than you......"

The first time I heard Lao Hu call me so emotionally and doting, I felt that the softest place in my heart had been touched, and I burst into tears all of a sudden, and threw myself into his arms, crying silently.

"I'm sorry I disappointed you again," I cried to him in my own words, "I'm not as smart and sensible as I seem, I'm not tough at all, I have many, many weaknesses, fragile and vulnerable, I can't let go of him, I've tried many ways, no matter what, I can't let go of ......"

Lao Hu patted me on the back and comforted, "Don't cry, Dad doesn't need you to be strong, the stronger you are, the more distressed I am, as long as you can cry out happily." ”

"Say, what kind of feelings do you have for that Jiang Feng? Do you love him very much? ”

I 'um' sound, in this collapsed night, in this place where there is no one else, I told Lao Hu my truest thoughts, "I love him, I fell in love with him when I saw him for the first time, but at that time, my fatal loftiness and pride and inferiority made me unable to express my feelings for him normally, before him, I had completely lost once, almost lost half of my life, I still live in the shadow of what I encountered, I lost the enthusiasm I had when I was 18 years old, before I was absolutely sure, I easily didn't dare to dive into it again...... So I tested him again and again, tested him, hurt him, and it was very easy to distrust him, and in this entanglement, I also lost him...... Now I realize that I can't afford to lose......"

Lao Hu sighed slightly and stroked my hair, "Okay, I know, I'll go to him tomorrow, and I promise to let him come back." My Cancan is so beautiful and beautiful, it is the most unique in the world, how can anyone not like it? He doesn't want you, he'll regret it......"

"No," I shook my head weakly, "don't go to him, let me keep the last bit of dignity, I'd rather die than be insulted by him again," I hugged Lao Hu tightly, and muttered to myself, "I know, only you are the man who is really good to me, I don't want anyone in the future, it's good to have you, we will depend on each other in the future,"

"Well, if only you could think like that." Lao Hu also hugged me tighter and said in a trembling voice, "Although Dad is old, as long as there is still a breath left, I will do my best not to let you be wronged~"

“……”

Lao Hu patiently listened to my crying, while pulling a tissue to wipe my tears, and later saw that my mood was stable, and persuaded me to say something. It was about four or five o'clock in the morning that I fell asleep dizzily.

But the days that followed didn't get much better. I heard the news of Jiang Feng's discharge from the hospital one after another, and heard the news that his marriage date with Gu Minyi had been set, but I never received any more calls and messages from him, I fell into the abyss, became more and more depressed, and no longer shed a single tear, but the thousands of holes in my heart were bleeding every day, and I don't know when the oil will run out.

In this day when life was worse than death, I was sick, whether I took medicine or injections, I didn't get better, and Zhou Kaicheng came to me at this critical moment.

Seeing Zhou Kaicheng's anxious eyes for me and his busy figure for me, I couldn't help but ask him in a trance, "Kaicheng, how can I get rid of such torment?" Do you have a way? ”

Zhou Kaicheng looked at me deeply......

"Let's get married," he said, sitting down in front of me, holding my hand, his eyes burning to set me on fire.