Chen Si smoked the cigarette in his hand very quickly, and the little light of the cigarette butt was very clear in the dark cave. I watched as the starry flame of the cigarette butt burned rapidly, and the whole cigarette was rapidly shortening.

"What's on your mind?"

After thinking about it for a while, I asked.

"What's on your mind?" Chen Si glanced at me and shook his head, "I don't have any worries, I'm too tired to have something on my mind, it's easier to live happily without a mind." However, "

As if deliberately trying to attract my interest, Chen Si stopped halfway through speaking, took a deep breath on the cigarette in his hand again, and slowly exhaled the smoke.

"But what?" I asked softly.

It's not that I'm curious, it's just that I know that sometimes people are willing to be asked meaninglessly in this way to make it clear to themselves that the other person is interested in hearing what they say.

"But I have a secret." Chen Si smiled, extinguished the burned cigarette in his hand, lit it again and took another puff.

"Secret?" I repeated in a low voice, unsure if she wanted me to continue.

"Yes, secret." Chen Si shook the cigarette in his hand and smiled at me, "Originally, it was a secret that only I knew, but now I want to tell you." ”

I glanced at Chen Si and nodded, "Okay, you say, I'll listen." ”

I don't know what kind of secret it is, what I do know is that Chen Si needs someone to listen to her tell her that secret.

My reaction seemed to be expected by Chen Si, she didn't react to my words, but looked up at the pitch-black cave roof, spat out a few smoke rings, and watched them dissipate before speaking.

"I wasn't like that before. Maybe you don't believe it, when I was a freshman in high school, I was still a good boy? Honor student? Whatever. Chen Si closed his eyes and flicked the cigarette ash with his hand on his knee, "It's the kind of person who doesn't smoke, doesn't fight, doesn't skip class, doesn't fall in love, has two points and one line at school, and is focused on studying, and can get a good student if he has nothing to do." ”

I peeked at Chen Si, to be honest, if I didn't know that Chen Si had no reason to make up such a lie, I really didn't believe that she would be that kind of "good boy". But if she was, then how did she get to where she is? Chen Si looks at her age, she should still be in college now, right?

"Until I thought, oh yes, all the way to today, it should have been three years ago."

"Today?" I was a little confused, "What do you mean by today?"

"The day of December 21." Chen Si still closed his eyes, and a smile appeared on his lips, "On December 21, 2008, my eighteenth birthday. ”

Birthday? My heart moved, I looked at Chen Si and blinked, did she mean that December 21st was her birthday? Time stopped on her birthday?

But I frowned, and I remembered that when everyone was locked in the mirrored room, they were all alone in the closed room. Chen Si, who likes to be lively at first glance, why is he alone in a closed room on his birthday?

"And what was it like when you entered the Endless Room?" I asked, confused, "Didn't you celebrate your birthday with someone else or something?" ”

"Birthday? Heh" Chen Si sneered, brought the cigarette between his fingers to his mouth, took a deep breath, and inhaled until the whole cigarette burned out, opened his eyes and then lit a third one.

Watching the third cigarette light up, Chen Si continued, "Since I was eighteen years old, I have not told anyone about my birthday, and I will not celebrate birthdays again. Someone else's birthday needs to be celebrated, but mine is just a nightmare to endure. ”

"Nightmare," I muttered, vaguely feeling that my birthday at the age of eighteen had a connection with Chen Si becoming what he is now, "What happened when I was eighteen?" ”

"Ahem, ahem, ahem, at the age of eighteen"

Chen Si suddenly took a big puff of cigarette, as if he was choking too quickly, the whole person bent over, lowered his head and covered his mouth and coughed for a while before slowly calming down, after calming down, he lowered his head and said, "On my eighteenth birthday, I was in my third year of high school, and my best friend asked me out, and then at the agreed place, I only saw four notorious gangsters from our school, and she didn't come." ”

Suddenly, a conjecture came to me, which was by no means rosy. Chen Si lowered her head, I couldn't see her expression, and I didn't know if I should confirm my conjecture for a while.

"Why don't you speak?" Chen Si looked up at me and showed a mocking smile, "Didn't you write it?" Can't you guess what happened next? Need I give you any more clues or details? Ropes, cell phones, photos and videos, coercion and intimidation, plus a night of not being homeless, aren't these put together enough for you to think of anything? ”

I was startled again, and subconsciously wiped Lin Ya's body to help him cool down, using this way to hide the panic in my heart. I didn't expect that the secret that Chen Si said would be such a dark and heavy past, and I didn't know how to react for a while.

"Don't talk or look at me? Huh" Chen Si's voice came into my ears, and I still didn't look at her, "You are not afraid that I will dirty your eyes, right?" Still don't know what face to put on me? Hey, I'm so wonderful, what kind of expression do you have now? Do you sympathize with my plight or do you feel like it's none of your business? Look up and let me see. ”

I was still silent, Chen Si was right, I really didn't know what expression to put on. I knew very well that Chen Si didn't need my sympathy, and she wouldn't want to see me sympathize with her, but I couldn't control myself from being calm after hearing this, and I couldn't guarantee that I could control my expression.

When he was struggling to raise his head, he heard Chen Si say again.

Chen Si: "Forget it, don't look up, I'm afraid I'll be crazy when I see your expression." Just continue to listen to me quietly. ”

I was slightly relieved, but my heart was re-pinched because of Chen Si's next words.

"I was sure later that those four thugs were my best friends? It's ironic to say that she was supporting her for the sake of the only guaranteed slot. ”

Chen Si's story of the past was so heavy that I finally couldn't help but look up at her, only to see her calm face, no smile or anything else, no anger, sadness, excitement anything, only calm.

It's as if she's telling someone else's story.

"Just for such a guaranteed spot, my best friend can ruin my life." Chen Si's voice was very soft and low, with a kind of dead silence calm, "When the third year of high school was about to take the college entrance examination, something like this happened. For many reasons, my parents did not choose to call the police, but chose to calm the situation, as if nothing had happened, and only told me that I could be admitted to a university in another province and start over. ”

"And my best friend, who had my photos and videos in her hand, made me voluntarily withdraw from the competition for a spot and got what she wanted."

Chen Si said this, turned his head to look at me, I couldn't dodge the gaze that met her, and heard her ask me softly, "Do you say that in this world, there is really good and good reward, and evil is rewarded?" ”

I didn't know how to answer, so I hesitated and said, "I guess." ”

"So, when? When will the good be rewarded, and when will the wicked be punished? ”

"I don't know, I'm sorry."

I was embarrassed by Chen Si's questioning, and in the end I could only avoid her gaze and say sorry. But I heard her laugh in a low voice, and said quietly.

Chen Si said: "You lie to me, this world will never repay kindness, others will only regard your kindness as cowardice, and the oppression will be more unscrupulous." Evil deeds will not go unpunished, and those who do evil can go unpunished, and then use the cowardice of others as nourishment for evil. Do you know what happened later? ”

I couldn't help but look up at Chen Si again, but I was suddenly shocked. That little light illuminated her face and allowed me to see her expression. There was no hideous expression on her face, just a smile in her calmness, but this expression made my heart beat for a while.

I don't know how to describe it, but if I had to describe it, that smile gave me a feeling of despair.

"Later I found out I was pregnant."

Pregnant? A student facing the college entrance examination in the third year of high school? I think I know what it means to be pregnant at this time.

"When I was pregnant, my family didn't dare to make a noise, and I didn't dare to let the school know, so I had to secretly beat it. After the beating, the doctor said that I hurt my body and that I would never be able to get pregnant again, and until now I remember the expression on the doctor's face with disdain and disdain, as if I was a stain."

"Then everything was added up, I deservedly failed the college entrance examination, a three-book, a school that I would never have thought of, became a place for me to escape from all this."

"Since then I don't have birthdays, and every year on December 21 I lock myself in my room by myself, without contact, afraid to hear the slightest noise and heh"

Chen Si laughed, the expression on his face was mocking, helpless, unwilling, and desperate-

"And then I was trapped forever in a nightmare from which I couldn't escape."