After working for two years, He Yu wanted to start a business, I fully supported it, and used the tens of thousands of yuan he had saved from working for several years, plus some money he saved from work, to partner with a friend of his, so he set up a fashion design studio so-so. It must have been difficult at first, he was responsible for taking orders, and I and several other designers were engaged in design, initially specializing in T-shirt design, and there was no profit for more than half a year, and his friend quickly withdrew his investment...... He and I gritted our teeth and persevered.

But not long after the good days, his father died unexpectedly, and this incident dealt a huge blow to him! He was depressed for a long time, and he didn't care about the affairs of the studio anymore, and we who originally planned to have children also gave up...... I understood that he couldn't stand the blow of his father's sudden death, so I gritted my teeth and carried the daily operation of the studio, negotiated orders by myself, and organized the work of designers by myself, although he didn't earn much, but it was barely enough for the family's monthly expenses.

Just when he was about to regain his strength, he didn't expect that his mother, who had been sick all the year round, was overly sad and her condition worsened, and she died in the wax moon of that year!

He fell into deep despair again, completely changed as a person, drunk like mud every day, quarreling with me at every turn, it was all trivial things, but the more he quarreled, the more his heart gradually became cold...... To add insult to injury, we just encountered an economic crisis that year, and our studio was about to be unable to open, so he couldn't manage so much, and blindly degenerated, and I, in addition to finding a way to maintain daily expenses, also had to consider whether his 12-year-old brother was studying in a free junior high school in the rural household registration area, or coming to the city to study in a junior high school for thousands of years?

I thought I had done enough for him that he would come to his senses when he was done, but no one expected that he would end up delivering a devastating blow to me.

I will always remember that day, September 12th, at about 15 o'clock in the afternoon, when I was bargaining with an aunt about a lettuce in the vegetable market, I suddenly received a call from a friend, saying Come to XX Bridge for a trip, your husband committed suicide by jumping into the river!

I was like five thunderbolts on the spot, thinking that I had misheard, and ran to the place of the incident trembling......

A lot of people watched, a lot of people were talking, a lot of people threw sympathetic glances at me, I never imagined that this kind of bad news that would happen on the news would happen to me, even though I only saw the fire brigade still searching in the river, I still fainted on the spot.

In those days, there was a heavy flood after the heavy rain, and the police searched for more than ten days without finding his body, and it was expected to be washed far downstream, or even washed into the sea, and the current police force could not find it at all, and I had nothing to do with forcing the police to continue the search, so I could only give up and accept the fact that he was dead.

Dead without a corpse...... How I wished he had secretly swam to the shore to find a place to hide, but reason told me that he was really dead, and he left me a suicide note, asking me to take care of my brother and live well, he was destined to be sorry for me in this life...... I couldn't believe this fact for a long, long time, I always hallucinated that this was a nightmare, crying anytime, anywhere, regardless of the occasion, clearly experiencing what it means to be heartbroken into scum, what it means to be so painful that I can't breathe, and what is boundless despair!

During that time, I often sat by the river in a daze, thinking that he was still soaking in the river, I don't know where he was washed away, forever cold and helpless, my heart was torn and painful, and I wanted to jump off and die several times, but 12-year-old He Yi grabbed me and cried heartbroken in my ear, asking me not to die!

He cried and said that he no longer had his parents, nor his brother, and if his sister-in-law was gone, he would really be helpless in this world. There was no one to cook for him, no one to pay for his tuition, and he had to jump into the river...... I suddenly came to my senses, yes, if I also left, then this little kid will really become the most pitiful person in the world, how can he bear the loss of so many relatives at a young age, how big should his psychological shadow be?

He Yi is the only bloodline of the He family, and it is also my only 'relative', I really can't let the tragedy continue.

In the end, I didn't die for him.

In these torturous days, He Yi and I are dependent on each other, although we are not related by blood, we are each other's only 'relatives'. Fortunately, He Yi is 12 years old, not too big, not too small, has reached the age of junior high school, and he is ignorant of everything. He spends most of his time at the school, and I concentrate on running the studio.

I often wonder if the spirit of heaven helped me and gave me strength. So that since he went, I have a strong feeling of 'time to run', although it is still hard, but things have gone a lot smoother, as if in the dark, there is such a force behind me ~

No matter how much life has changed, the longing for He Yu has never diminished over the years. Time has diluted the sadness, but every time I think of the unforgettable part with him, the days and nights with him, and the bad news and despair he brought me at the end, my chest will always be suffocated...... I can't tell how I feel about this man, and the most I have is 'hate'.

I hated him for his cowardice and incompetence, and because of the loss of his parents, he was so depressed that he finally chose to end his life, leaving me with eternal pain. So since he died, I have been deeply skeptical, did he really love me?

Since he chose to commit suicide to escape all this, without considering my feelings at all, and without thinking about being responsible for my life, why should I soak in this torment for a long time? Widow for his loyalty? Yes, I often comfort myself after crying in the middle of the night, if I die, I die, no one owes anyone in this life, I still have most of my life to live as I want, I only blame him for his own bad life, he can only share the hardships with me, and he has no life to be happy with me.

As the memories deepened, I kept leaning on the railing, looking at the sparkling waves on the river in a daze, and my whole body was a little numb.

At this time, I heard a man's singing voice behind me, "I met her in my heart in the street this night, and my feet decided not to obey the call to go home with her, the cold wind in the middle of the night was not allowed to blow her, and her dark eyes were about to speak to me......"

This is originally a fast-paced Cantonese old song, but he uses a slow-paced cappella, quiet and slow, the pitch and rhythm are well grasped, and the voice is mellow and magnetic...... In short, the beautiful and intoxicating singing voice is getting closer and closer to me, and it is clearly approaching behind me.

I couldn't help but turn around and find that the man singing in front of me was actually Jiang Feng.

With his hands in his trouser pockets, he looked at me with tenderness, and helped me with his hands to straighten my hair, which was blown by the night wind...... That chic and uninhibited and pretended to be affectionate made me jump out of the memories of He Yu at once.

I avoided his gaze and turned to lean against the stone railing, "What are you doing here?" ”

"As your personal bodyguard and assistant, isn't it normal to be by your side at any time?" He was clinging to me, his hands propped up on the railing, trapping my whole body in his hard, solid chest.

"I'm in a bad mood right now, you'd better not bother me,"

"I don't care, I'm just here to annoy you, I can't sleep if I don't smell the fragrance on your body for a day," he said, he leaned down and sniffed my hair again, and ambiguously used him to top my tun~

"Let you go away," I pushed his hand away and came out of his arms with more and more irritation, "I have already said that I will contact you when I need you, and when I don't need you, don't just appear in front of me!" ”

Because I had just pulled with him, the picture fell out of my pocket......

My face changed, and I hurriedly bent down to pick it up, but Jiang Feng had already picked it up quickly! He clutched the picture in his hand, sat on the stone fence, and said, "Let me see who is so nervous about you," and looked at the front of the photograph.

"Give it to me!" I thought of the last time he peeked at my diary, and I got angry, grabbed the photo, and pushed him!

Because he was sitting on the stone railing, I pushed him behind him, and the whole person immediately lost his balance and fell towards the river outside the railing......

......At that moment, I screamed and was scared, and tried to reach out to catch him!

At the moment of his fall, he grabbed the big iron cable outside the railing with both hands, although his body did not fall, but it was difficult to stick to the stone wall by the river, all the weight was supported by his two hands, and two or three meters under his feet was the bottomless river, it was dark at night, and the light was reflected in the sparkling waves, which was even more eerie.

"Hold on, I'll find someone to save you!" My nervous heart was about to jump out, and when I looked around, I couldn't even see a ghost, only the bridge not far away had vehicles coming and going, but when I went to stop the car for help, it was estimated that he had fallen into the river.

I didn't say a word, I took out my mobile phone and called the police, because I was so flustered that everyone who spoke to the police was incoherent.

After making the call, I leaned on the railing and looked down, and found that he was gritting his teeth, his expression was getting more and more uncomfortable, and the iron rope he was pulling had also slipped off, as if he was really about to hold on, and his body was faintly falling...... I was so frightened that I told him to hurry up and hold on for a while, and I blamed myself even more, because I never thought that the casual push just now would cause such serious consequences.

I usually look down on him, but at this moment, I don't want him to have any accidents. What's more, there is an endless river below. Since He Yu was buried in the river, what I am most afraid of is the turquoise and deep river, lake, and sea, and I feel very depressed, and I often dream that I fall into the water and cannot breathe, desperate and struggling......

"Hey, I'm dying...... Jiang Feng gasped, his fingers grasping the chain slipped a little more, and he said with difficulty, "I can't swim, I will definitely die if I fall, can you promise me a request before I die?" ”