When I woke up again, I found myself in bed. Seeing Jiang Feng shouting my name in surprise, my mind was blank again, and I looked at him blankly. At this time, Sister Tao appeared in front of me again, also laughing with tears, "Yuncan, God bless, you finally woke up!" ”

"......" I looked around the room, there was no other people, only Jiang Feng and Sister Tao, I didn't know where it was at this time, I didn't know what time it was, and I didn't know what year and month it was, looking at everything in front of me blankly.

"Yuncan," Jiang Feng's eyes were full of exhaustion and anxiety, and he asked in a dumb voice, "Why do you want to do something stupid?" ”

"Yes, why are you so stupid," Sister Tao wiped her eyes, "You are still so young and have everything, why can't you think about it...... At three or four o'clock in the morning today, if Jiang Feng found out, he would have sent you to the hospital in time to save a life, otherwise the consequences are really unimaginable. ”

Sister Tao's words instantly evoked the pain that I had been dormant for a while, and I quickly realized that I had committed suicide by slitting my wrists in the bathroom last moment, but now I was still breathing in the hospital bed...... Looking at Jiang Feng in front of me, I felt a huge anger scurrying in my internal organs, obviously my body was very weak, but I still couldn't bear to stretch out a leg and kicked him in the chest, and he fell to the ground defenselessly.

"Who told you to save me!" I yelled at him uncontrollably as if I had suddenly gone mad, "Who told you to save me?!" Why are you still in front of me, do you know how disgusting I am for you? You've completely ruined me! Get out of here! Get lost! Get lost! "I went crazy as I grabbed the pillow next to me and threw it at him, because my hand tripped over the infusion tube, I ripped off the needle again, and blood gushed out from the eye of the needle on the back of my hand.

Sister Tao was grateful for helping me hold down the bleeding place, and grabbed my body again, and said anxiously, "You just woke up, calm down, don't be so excited, your body is important, why do you say that you are tossing yourself like this, you want to continue, I told He Yi, do you want him to see you like this......"

Since I had a miscarriage, He Yi has been in Beijing, and no one has told him, and he doesn't know my half-dead state now.

The great mood swings made me tremble, and the consumption of my body for days and the bleeding from this morning's cut wrists made me hollow out, and my body was fragile and vulnerable, so after venting just now, I finally fell softly on the bed, as if my soul had been sucked away, and barely having a breath was just a remnant......

At this time, Jiang Feng suddenly knelt down in front of me again, took out a sharp fruit knife and stuffed it into my hand, his pale and haggard face was more painfully firm, "I admit that I hurt you and ruined you...... I can't do anything else to get you better, so kill me now! If you continue to be tortured like this, you will die sooner or later, you might as well stick a knife in my chest now, and let me die happily! ”

"......" I held the handle of the knife, looking at the sharp blade that was steaming with cold light, I couldn't listen to the words in Jiang Feng's mouth, and in this thousands of painful entanglements, I slashed directly towards my wrist!

"Ahh I only heard Sister Tao let out a scream, and before the knife edge touched my skin, it had already been snatched away by Jiang Feng and fell to the floor with a 'clang'!

"Yuncan, Sister Tao, I beg you, okay, don't do stupid things anymore," Sister Tao hugged my body tightly and cried out sadly, "And Jiang Feng, you two are not too young, you do things like a three-year-old child, you have to die and live at every turn, where is it so serious?!" Is it really necessary to make such a serious fuss? Who doesn't encounter a little setback in their life? Thanks to the fact that the two of you are both people who do great things, you are rich and good-looking, you don't have to worry about food and clothing, you are happier than 98% of the people in society, isn't it a pity to end your life easily! ”

I also couldn't listen to Sister Tao's empty words, which had no real effect on me, I still sank into the sorrow that I could understand, tasting this boundless despair alone, as if I would never be redeemed, and tears finally welled up in my eyes that had been dry for a long time......

"You all go, don't bother me," I said, my eyes closed, and even a gentle breath ached.

Jiang Feng waved his hand to signal Sister Tao to go out first, and when there was no one in the ward, he closed the door and walked to my bedside again, ignoring the 'thorns' all over my body, and forcibly held my cheek, forcing me to raise my head to face him......

"......" I hated him, the mania that had just been calmed down was activated again, and when I was about to struggle, he held my face tighter, locked his deep and depressed gaze on me, and said in a suppressed voice, "Listen, the damage I have done to you is irreparable, and I can see through your hatred for me...... I hate myself more than you do, but now I can't make up for anything, and I know that the rift between us will never heal...... Since you can't kill me, then I will go to the police station as soon as possible and turn myself in, and then I will disappear from your world and return you to peace. However, I beg you to cheer up, don't kill yourself for a shameless person like me, you hate me, I'll go, but you must get better, don't seek death again......"

His eyes were always so playful and powerful, far more direct than the words in his mouth, I admit that I was touched by the hidden pain that flashed in his eyes at this time, but after looking at each other for a few seconds, I still opened him in frustration, gritted my teeth and shouted, "Then get out of here!" Never appear in front of me again! ”

He stared at me again for a long time before turning and leaving the room.

I didn't die this time, I went back home, still surrounded by the haze, continuing the old days when people were not ghosts and ghosts, there was no enthusiasm for life, no temperature, no hope, and what I had in my head was the endless darkness, which really couldn't get out of it anyway, or, I didn't try to get out of it at all. Time will not heal me, it will only allow me to gradually develop into a schizophrenic...... Yes, I feel like I'm on the verge of splitting, often smirking at something, walking out in a trance, and there will always be a sudden short-circuit in the brain that can't find the way home.

I don't know if Sister Tao told Zhou Kaicheng about my suicide, Zhou Kaicheng would visit me from time to time almost every day, try to talk and chat with me, and drive me outside to bask in the sun, shopping, strawberry picking and other peripheral tours, I didn't want to, I went out with him, breathed the air outside, saw more vitality in the spring, and seemed to shine a little sunshine in my heart, the whole person eased a lot, and my consciousness was not all hopeless, and I could eat something, although I still ate very little...... The hardest thing is the night, the long darkness makes me feel depressed, terrifying, and psychologically fragile, I accidentally touch the sadness, and then the heart is like a stone pressing thousands of pounds, out of breath~

But I almost gave up thinking of ending my life...... Think about it, how difficult it has been for me to go all the way from birth to the present, from the time I was in Han Qiaojuan's belly, I didn't get the nutrition needed by a normal child, and I was always in danger of being lost by Han Qiaojuan...... Others came to this world with the joy of their relatives, and I was born to be the laughing stock of the world and Han Qiaojuan's chess piece, disliked by everyone, and was almost buried alive by her after being used by Han Qiaojuan...... Followed by Chen Guifang's family, they have suffered even more, others only need to use one point of effort to live, but I need ten points, and it is already God's mercy to live to the point where I am now. There are too many people who want to see me die, Han Qiaojuan, Sun Hanwei, Gu Minyi, Duan Qian, everyone wants me to die, if I really end myself on impulse, wouldn't I let them clap Chen Qing...... So, I really don't want to die, I'd rather keep being in pain like this, suppressing it, until I die of pain and go crazy......

When I went out with Zhou Kaicheng, I vaguely felt that someone was still following in the dark, but I couldn't see his shadow all the time...... One night, Sister Tao called me downstairs for dinner, I didn't have an appetite, but when I heard her say that I made my favorite steamed plaice, I went downstairs to have a look. Obviously, there are only two people on the table, Sister Tao and me, but there are four or five dishes on the table, I glanced at it and found that these dishes are selling well, and I think Sister Tao is also well-intentioned. However, when I tasted the steamed fish, I found that the taste was somewhat familiar...... I tried a few other dishes, and they were so familiar that my mood fluctuated again~

I couldn't eat anymore, so I put down the dishes and chopsticks heavily, and asked Sister Tao in a cold voice, "Why do you want that person to come to the house?" ”

Sister Tao saw that my mood was not right, her face turned pale, and she said unnaturally, "...... Who are you talking about? ”

I didn't want to talk to Sister Tao, so I got up and was about to go upstairs, and at the same time said to Sister Tao very unhappily, "Let him enter the door again, you don't have to do it here!" ”

Sister Tao paused, sighed and told the truth, "Actually, in the past half a month since you were sick, Jiang Feng has never left, and he came secretly every day, asking me in advance if you were sleeping, and only after making sure that you were asleep did he come to take a sneak peek at you, often smoking and wandering outside the house in the middle of the night, I asked him to come in and sit, but he refused, saying that he was afraid that you would be angry when he saw him...... Usually he often secretly cooks for you, so I don't tell you to say it, but you can't eat it for those days, and you don't know it's just what he did...... You committed suicide by cutting your wrists that night, I slept so hard that I didn't know at all, but he came in to visit you, and accidentally found you doing stupid things in the bathroom, and then immediately called 120 to wake me up, you don't know that I went into the bathroom that day and saw blood all over the ground, you passed out, how scary, I didn't cry, Jiang Feng cried, while crying while sending you to the hospital, repeatedly begging the doctor to save you, really, anyway, I saw that he was really good to you, you just pity him, so I can see him, so I can see him. ”