Along the way, I was nervous.

Because he hugged me just now, I was excited and inexplicably sad in my heart, and my heart went up and down, and I seemed to be unable to give up.

When I arrived at Abe's residence, it was late at night the next day.

Qingming entered the house, he was tired and needed to rest, so let me leave.

The sleepiness of the past few days has made Qingming very tired, and during the time he was injured, there were always waves of unevenness, and the emperor had no choice but to make it difficult for him. Seeing that the last attack of Ashiya Michiman had not recovered, he went forward to suppress the demon day by day, and he also cherished him very much in his heart.

Savoring the temperature of his hand holding me, and the familiar warm embrace, a heart pounding. I always thought that it would be great to go back to a thousand years ago and see that man with a breezy wind and a fluttering white coat. I am content to be able to be by my childhood idol's side and live with him.

I never longed for the day when I would get his warmth, so close to him. I never thought that his gentleness, his cherishment, and a moment of looking back because of me, became precious in his eyes. Guarded by him, spoiled by him, cared for by him, and encouraged and supported by his friend Yuan Boya.

lived thousands of years ago because he ...... And become beautiful.

I smiled and jumped forward, but unexpectedly bumped into Yuan Boya standing at the door waiting for me, his eyes locked and his expression worried.

I was excited: "Master Boya, why are you here?" ”

"Honey worm, don't be nostalgic anymore......"

Yuan Boya spoke with difficulty, and his eyes were full of pain for me.

I was stunned: "What does this mean?" ”

"Sunny ...... I'm about to get married to Sara. ”

It was like a thunderbolt on a sunny day, and I was stunned for a while and couldn't speak......

"I also learned that Qingming and Sharo had a marriage contract for a long time. Kamo had already asked the emperor to marry on the same day, and the emperor's proposal would be approved immediately. ”

I smiled, "It won't ...... Boya-sama, this joke is not funny at all. ”

Tears couldn't stop falling.

Boya stepped forward and worried: "It's not a lie, honeyworm ......"

"No, you're lying! I'm going to ask Qingming to go! ”

I ran away crying.

"Honey worm—"

I only heard the call of Yuan Boya and the long sigh behind him......

No, no, it's not true!

It came so suddenly.

How could Qingming and Sharo ......

It must be wrong in the history books, and history will be false, right? I've traveled to the Heian period, how can he still have a broken relationship with Sara?

This must be fake!

It must be Yuan Boya who is testing whether I am sincere to Qingming.

Crying three steps and making two steps hurriedly ran to Qingming's study, standing outside the door in a daze, his heart was painful and anxious, wiping a handful of tears indiscriminately, ready to push the door and enter to question-

But he stopped at the moment of reaching out......

Qingming was concentrating on practicing calligraphy in the study, her face was heavy, as if she had something on her mind. The wooden window of the study was half-open, and the cold evening breeze blew in, he was already so tired, but he was still concentrating on his work......

Quietly looked at him and bowed his body intently, and his eyes gradually became rosy. He's been so tired these days, and Hemosara must have had a headache too, and I'm going to bother him and blame him at the moment......

Hands, unconsciously put down.

Looking at Qing Ming's fine pen, the vermilion cinnabar pen was dipped in the spell as thin as a cicada's wings, and a piece of rouge quickly faded. Then turn the animation pen and spread out the scroll, and his words on it are beautiful and beautiful, like a crane. Gently press the spell on the scroll and recite the mantra lightly, and the spell will disappear and merge with the scroll in nature, engraved with Harumi's unique "Abe Harumi Mark".

Qingming stared at the scroll quietly for a while, her rouge thin lips hooked up and raised her head with a light smile, and met the red and swollen eyes that I was staring at him-

"Honey worm, why are you crying?"

He was distressed and came out quickly.

I avoided his gaze and ran away crying.

"Honey worms!"

He chased me after me.

I just stumbled forward crying and ran, not wanting to be caught by him and seeing my sadness and worrying him.

I ran like this for a long time, until his voice disappeared behind me.

He fell to the ground in embarrassment and couldn't stop crying.

I already know the history, so what can I blame him?

I thought that I had come for him to cross, and God had let me cross just to let me get close to him and fall in love with him.

That's why I like him without restraint, accompany him with peace of mind, and rely on him.

But I don't want to, history hasn't changed because of my arrival.

The staggered time and space, the staggered encounters, but they have not been able to make history staggered, so they have changed.

But what to do, I like him......

If I wasn't with him, where would I belong?

I hid my face and wept, and my heart ached. Why can't history be changed, why can't we stay with him despite all the hardships we have met?

The thick night filled me with sadness and helplessness, and I couldn't find the answer and couldn't see the future.

Just like Heiankyo a thousand years ago, there was endless darkness and desolation.

I cried in my room for a long time, and my tears wet the layers of single clothes. I wiped my nose and it was covered with my snot.

Qingming has been worried about me, and he has been coming to visit me non-stop for the past few days. I hid in my room and refused to see him, letting my tears wet the quilt. Lying on the wet quilt, I finally understood the same mood as he had at the beginning.

Why did he snub me so much and alienate me?

Because it was never possible to face it.

I know I like Harumi, and the news of his marriage to Kamosara is like a chasm in front of us, which I can't face and cross.

All of a sudden, my heart felt like I had no place to go, and I didn't know where to go......

In Ping'an, I have no relatives, no home of my own, and even no identity of my own. Only Qingming and Yuan Boya, my two best friends. Because of them, I was able to live here with peace of mind, and they were my greatest comfort and support in Heiankyo.

However, now even Qingming is no longer my exclusive possession, he is about to become Sharo's person, someone else's lover. What should I do with the coming Sara?

In what capacity am I going to stay? In what capacity will Qingming introduce me?

Where will I belong?

Source Boya? How much comfort can he bring me?

A heart suddenly went away, and in Heiankyo, a thousand years ago, an era that didn't belong to me, suddenly became lonely and helpless. Maybe I should really go back to the modern era, which is where I should really stay.

Mom, Dad, I miss you so much......

I hid under the covers and wept, tears drenching my thoughts layer after layer.

Afraid that he would worry about me, I finally wiped away my tears on the third day and went to see Qingming.

His eyes couldn't hide his concern, and there was a hint of guilt. My haggard figure was reflected in his pupils, catching a glimpse of his distressed eyes.

"You know everything?"

He asked.

"Hmm."

I nodded.

"I'm sorry, I ......"

"Why feel guilty, we didn't agree on anything."

Qingming lowered her head, and the petals in the sky fell beside us. Maybe there was a moment when we liked each other, maybe there was a second of heartbeat. But some people are destined to pass by, I looked at Qingming's silent gaze, is my fate with him really over?

If you don't like it, you don't like it, right?

Without commitment, I can still comfort him and comfort myself. When nothing happens.

But...... I like him, I don't know how to face the upcoming Sara, and I don't know how to face the future.

How to hide your likes......

It's just that...... I don't want him to worry about me......

Standing silently in Yuan Boya's mansion, the frost of the night was biting. This is the first time I have taken the initiative to come to Yuan Boya, and I don't want people to see my red and swollen eyes at night, let alone let Qingming worry.

Although it is spring, this year's Spring Festival Gala seems to be extremely cold, just like the day I first came to Heiankyo, my heart was full of confusion, but I no longer had the joy I had at the beginning.

Standing in Heiankyo, a thousand years ago, the cold evening breeze made me wrap my clothes tightly. Am I happy or sad here? Is it joy or pain?

The beautiful and psychedelic Heiankyo, the sad pipa of mourning and resentment, soaked in thin coolness. In this ignorant feudal dark dynasty, the ghosts and gods resonate, and the slightest sadness is mixed with the brilliance and warmth of human nature. The tenderness that wraps around the fingertips melts into the endless darkness of the Heian era, and a trace of warmth is unleashed in the strange and miserable, which makes people move to tears.

So...... Does this era belong to me?

Once, I never doubted why I came here. Standing in Heian Capital 1,000 years ago, I thought it was my luck. I spent so much time with Qingming, but I didn't grasp it and cherish it.

It was not until I became a ghost, tasted desolation and loneliness, and experienced the vicissitudes of a long time that I realized the value of loss, but it was too late......

As I stand here, looking up at the beauty of Heiankyo, I have clearly seen the darkness and backwardness of this era, and I have foreseen the history of the future.

Whether...... Should I go back?

I have become alienated from this era.

Get back? How do I get back?

In a trance, the 21st century and the Heian period intersected under my feet, and I stood at the crossroads, looking at the beauty of Heian-kyo and remembering the advancement of the 21st century.

At one time, I thought I was a 21st century person.

There was also a moment of trance, thinking that I should live in Heiankyo, and I was a resident of this era.

And now, am I a passerby or a resident?

In what era is my heart left?

Even I can't figure it out myself.

These two eras are blurred, staggered, and overlapping before my eyes.

Back in the 21st century, will I really be happy?

The two people of Heiankyo, am I really willing to let go?

Tears blurred layer by layer. Qingming said that the illusion is not the other image, the other image is not the illusion, why should the illusion reality be so careful, if the mind is determined, it is the reality.

So, where is my heart left?

If this were a dream, even Qingming would become illusory.

I do not know.

I do not know......

I lowered my head in frustration, I couldn't tell the difference between reality and illusion, the way to come and the way to return. The way to come and the way back has become so blurred, empty and ethereal. I don't understand my heart, I'm so confused at the junction of time and space.

"Honey Worm ......"

Yuan Boya's voice pulled me back.

In a trance, it was like a dream.

"What are you going to do?"

Yuan Boya bowed his head and cared.

"I ......"

"Is it for the sake of the sunny?"

"I want to know the date of Harumi and Sara's marriage."

"Honey worm, it will be sad to know."

Yuan Boya is worried.

"It's okay, tell me, I'll be ready too."

I try to be strong.

"Just next month......

"—so fast......"

I smiled and froze for a moment. It turns out that time waits for so little.

"Honey worm, if you find it inconvenient, I can ......"

"No need."

Staying by Qingming's side and Yuan Boya's side are always different. Only Qingming can bring me unique peace of mind and irreplaceable warmth in this strange era, and I have the courage to live.

If Gen Boya had taken me in, I would have been even more sad to see Harumi, and I wouldn't have been happy to live in Heiankyo.

Only a sunny day can make me feel at home.

"I just want to know how much time I have left, and I want to cherish the days with Qingming."

I told you the truth, and a deeper worry appeared in Yuan Boya's eyes.

"Honey worm, He Mao Zhongxing is kind to Qingming, and his marriage contract was set when he was young. And...... He Mao Zhongxing's family is in charge of Yin and Yang Liao. ”

"I know that Qingming is not an ungrateful person, let alone a person who is greedy for utilitarianism. By marrying the young lady of the He Mao family, he can consolidate his true position in the Yin and Yang Liao, and he can do more for the people, and truly benefit Heianjing. In this dark and backward society, it is impossible to speak entirely by magic. ”

I can understand all of his thoughts, so I don't blame him. I respect him and love him, he is always so concerned about the world and silently dedicated. In the biographies of later generations, he is always described as indifferent to the world, who really understands his silent guardianship hidden under the idle clouds and wild cranes?

Therefore, if he wants to protect Heiankyo, I will support him. Whatever choice he makes, I will accept it and will not embarrass him.

sighed, and the sadness in my heart vanished.

"If it's all right, Master Boya, I'll go first."

"Honey worm—"

Yuan Boya paused.

"Actually, you feel to Qingming, Qingming ...... to you" He hesitated, but still opened his mouth, "Qingming feels the same way you feel about Qingming, and Qingming also ......"

"Say no more!"

I interrupted him.

Knowing the truth only makes people more painful, doesn't it? But from the remnants of Yuan Boya's words, I still know Qingming...... He likes me too.

Originally...... Qingming likes me too......

I feel the same way about him and he feels about me......

Tears can't stop falling big and big, stepping on this real land, my heart is really throbbing, I already have a choice in my heart. In the dark, I seemed to sense the guidance of fate and foresee the future history. For a moment, the image flashed through my mind.

Originally...... I crossed ...... Or is it for him......

When I closed my eyes, the tears couldn't stop falling quietly.