Chapter 25 The shadow of the hazy cold moon is slightly yellow, and the love is thinner than the cold moon.

Blind love is not love. Love that knows its shortcomings and suffers deeply but does not change its heart is true love.

I don't know if it's his free-flowing personality or if it's the memories of our past, and there is a shadow of him in the memories of the past.

I forgot it all, I should go back.

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Today is Christmas Eve. If you're in the West, it's a beautiful night. There is a pine tree in every house, colorful lamps, and beautiful gifts, and colorful patterns on the window panes, and the room is filled with a warm and beautiful atmosphere, and everyone has a happy smile on their faces......

But today there is no TV signal, and I can't see all this.

Under the big clouds and pines in the dormitory area, after several days of hard work by the students of the Department of Foreign Languages, colorful lights flickered, like many stars, adding to the festive atmosphere. Xiaohong and Lu Xue went to spend Christmas Eve with their boyfriend. Susan was probably at an internet café, or else she was playing cards in another dorm.

When I am alone, I always turn over my past memories. Sometimes I wonder when I can choose to have amnesia and forget everything I did a year ago.

Last year's tonight.

I stopped what I was working on. The dormitory is filled with the rich smell of oranges.

"Susan, where are you going?" "I went to the dorm next door to play cards. You all have someone to spend Christmas Eve with, and I'm alone, looking for fun! After Susan finished speaking, she took me an orange and dragged her out of the dormitory. The figure was a little lonely.

Susan...... "I wanted to say something, but I stopped. I don't want to blame Susan for coming here, so Lin Ziqian ......

At this time, the phone rings in the dormitory.

"Hello? Hello, I'm He Qingyin, who are you looking for? "I say it habitually.

"Looking for you!" My heart immediately blossomed, and it was on the seashore. But he deliberately kept quiet, and said lightly: "What's the matter?" "Come down, I've brought you a gift!"

I hurried downstairs, gave me a greeting card and an apple at the beach, and said with a smile: Merry Christmas! At this time, his eyes were full of smiles, and his sword eyebrows were also dyed with mild warmth. No one mentioned the unhappiness of the peach and apricot forest that happened a few days ago.

"So do you! Merry Christmas! I'm working on your gift, and I'll give it to you in a moment! I looked at his smiling eyebrows and handsome sword eyebrows.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I won't tell you yet, you can't guess!" I said with a wink.

"By the way, the class committee of our third class has something to do, I'll go first......" Before I could say anything, he turned around and left. Hey, Yu Haibin, don't forget, come back and get your gifts......" "Okay, I can't forget it!" ”

I sighed heavily as I watched him leap away with brisk steps, his tall back disappearing into the distance. An inexplicable sadness, pain, and loneliness welled up in my heart, and I dragged my stride to the sixth floor, which had lost my strength in an instant.

Look at the clock on the wall, it's already ten o'clock, what's going on with their class committee? Haven't come back yet? I've called three times, and I've been waiting in the phone supermarket since half past nine, and Zhang Zheng in their dormitory, such a good-natured person, is a little annoyed.

"He Qingyin, Yu Haibin really hasn't come back yet, I'll ask him to call you when he comes back, okay?" He pleaded, and I said helplessly: "Thank you, Zhang Zheng, I'll wait a little longer!" Then I heard the phone hang up.

Waiting for a second like a year. Finally, I saw that familiar figure appear, but it was under our dormitory building. Wang Qian and You Yingying supported each other, Yu Haibin handed the cake box in his hand to You Yingying, smiled and raised his hand to say goodbye to them, and there was another one, flying kiss? I really felt like I was dazzled. If it weren't for that familiar goodbye gesture, I really wouldn't think it was him.

It was only after I walked away from the seashore that I came to my senses. There was a pain in my heart: he didn't take me to heart. Where is the class committee having something, it is clear that they are going out to party together, and he doesn't know who has a birthday, he doesn't know that I waited for a night full of anticipation, how much I hope to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas with him......

But the gift was still for him. I caught up with Yu Haibin and grabbed his sleeve while seeing him slightly angry and smelling the strong smell of wine on his body. He has a lot of whites of his eyes, and when he looks at people when he is angry, he looks strangely scary, and I can't help but step back a little.

"What's wrong?" He asked coldly.

"Etiquette...... Gifts, gifts to you, you forgot? "I took out a small orange lamp from behind me, took out a lighter from my pocket that I had prepared a long time ago, and lit the candle in the small orange lamp. The small orange lamp glows reddish, and the outside is covered with a golden pink sticker that reads "Have a safe life, Merry Christmas". I made it all with my own hands.

"Thank you, you can go back!" After he took the little orange lamp, he just said this indifferently. He turned around and left. I felt like my heart was about to break, and the person who had hugged me, carried me, and cared for me threw me in the howling north wind. I feel like fate is playing a game on me.

The memories of the years are so clear that the pain that penetrates deep into the bone marrow has not diminished in the slightest. This year, again, I'm the only one who has lived alone. I wrote the following words on a piece of colored stationery:

I don't know where that little orange lantern is drifting in the world. Its light is so small that it is not enough to illuminate a person's heart. Its light is so dim that it can't be accompanied by people all the way. Its heat is so short-lived, it can't warm the face of tears.

Even if I light it up for you and let it burn out, do you see my tears for others?

The orange heart has been taken out, the orange peel has been branded with blessing you, what else can I not give?

For you, you have abandoned the previous melancholy and lonely heart, and replaced it with a heart that will shine and heat. In the firelight, my heart saw your face, and it was enough for me, and there was nothing else to ask for in this life.

But my heart is too small and weak, and when it burns out, I have no heart. There were only candles and tears.

My heart is empty, empty.

After writing these words, I folded the letter paper into a heart shape and placed it in an envelope. I wanted to put it in a drawer, but my hand touched the crystal necklace that Yu Haibin gave me, the same bracelet I bought at the beach, and the wordless greeting card he gave me last year. Yes, last year's greeting card was also just a greeting card, and there was not a word of Santa Claus on the card itself. Since when have we been speechless.

Tell yourself not to complain, not to be hysterical, not to be calm. But I can't calm down no matter what, who I complain about, who I hate, who I hate, in the end, it's me, myself.

I couldn't help myself for a while, and my cheeks were wet with tears. With an envelope in my left hand and something he gave me in my right hand, I rushed out of the dormitory and headed straight for the dormitory in Zone A.

Standing downstairs in the noisy, lively and jubilant boys' dormitory area, I didn't feel the slightest joy, only the biting north wind blowing, blowing on my face, stinging like a pinprick, I thought, after tears, I didn't wipe it off, my face must be dark tomorrow.

But waiting for nothing like this is always the solution, so I want to find someone to carry the letter. It just so happened that Li Angran passed downstairs. "Hey, Li Angran, is Yu Haibin in the dormitory?" I caught up with him and asked.

"No, I just came out of the dorm. I'm going to the supermarket to buy a pack of cigarettes, is there anything wrong with you? Li Angran said.

"I ...... I'm sorry for you to give these things to Yu Haibin, and this letter, you have to hand it over to him yourself. As I spoke, I suddenly saw Li Angran laughing, and it was undeniable that he smiled and showed two little tiger teeth, which was also quite cute.

"Look back, the person you are looking for is there......" Li Angran pointed with his hand, and I looked in the direction of his finger, and saw that under the bright street lamp, Yu Haibin and You Yingying walked over with a smile. You Yingying was holding a large teddy bear in his hand. Their laughter fell on my eyes, full of pain.

"On the waterfront! Come here! He Qingyin has been waiting for you for a long time......" As soon as Li Angran's words came out, I couldn't wait to find a hole to hide immediately. On second thought, why hide? After Li Angran finished speaking, he hurried to the supermarket to buy cigarettes with a playful and meaningful glance.

"Sister-in-law! Merry Christmas! You Yingying looked familiar, and greeted warmly. I just said coldly, "You too!" ”。 Seeing me like this, Yu Haibin said to You Yingying: "You go back first!" ”

"Okay, brother, I'll go first." You Yingying smiled sweetly, and her delicate facial features were made up of pink under the light.

Seeing You Yingying walking away. Yu Haibin and I were silent for a while.

"Yu Haibin, let me ask you, have you always liked You Yingying, and have you never liked me?" I asked coldly, and the north wind was even colder.

"He Qingyin, do you have to explore the reason, it doesn't do you any good, and it can't change any facts!" Yu Haibin said indifferently.

"Yu Haibin, I can't imagine that you can say such a thing, such a hurtful thing, why did you ...... in the first place"

"You don't have to dwell on it anymore, in this case, as you said, maybe we can still be friends. I know you're a good girl......" His words changed from harsh to gentle.

I shoved something into his arms and ran away. Because I didn't want him to see me sad and weeping again. I'm already so cowardly in front of him, I don't want to be vulnerable, I want to be strong. The howling north wind still stings on the face. This may ease the pain in my heart a little.

Emei moon bends, cool and thin. But this love is cooler and thinner than the cold moon. It's hazy, like an emotional entanglement.