Leaning under the street lamp and puffing out the smoke rings, I could feel that it was taking away the bright spot of my filthy soul to the highest place, and the hypocritical people would have a moment to quiet and meditate.

There are constantly homeless people passing in front of them, and all they see in their eyes is helpless, why is there no homeless woman passing by, and it seems that I have only met it in junior high school in my memory, and my hair has not been washed for a long time, dirty, and all gray clothes, pitiful.

Throwing the cigarette butt on the ground, the fireworks that bounce up and struggle look so beautiful, and lifting your foot to extinguish it completely is not because you are afraid that it will be blown on fire by the wind, but because you want to see the feeling of being rotten.

Taking a deep breath and running towards the dark alley on the right, panting and sweating, screaming as hard as I could, no one paying attention, my numb mind was reminding me that it was time to go home when I was a little drunk, but where was home.

I kept running forward, I could only keep running to vent before forgetting everything, I didn't want to be a person who was always chased by time and forgot the past, like a sharp blade stabbed in the chest, I couldn't turn a blind eye, and once I wanted to take it out, I would fall into the abyss.

Perhaps everyone is right, only by living in the lies made up by oneself can one be less tired, and only by defining oneself as a strange friend and constantly thinking about the future from the perspective of a third party will the closed door of the dead heart be opened.

I really want to take you to Jiangnan, when you were a child, you liked Lin Junjie's "Jiangnan" very much, but you were troubled by material aspects, and you can only desperately earn money every day.

Where did those passions run away for a moment, now I am looking around, a little unbelievable, you will lose yourself in the gap of time, if it is all we have to go with the flow and return to flat, it will be better to accept your fate at this moment.

Thousands of lone stars in the sky are hidden in the cold night no man's land, they are looking forward to being discovered and at the same time they are afraid of getting lively, so go on, even if I have long since stopped writing, but I don't even have the qualifications to give up on the countless pairs of expectant eyes in life.

Where will the final trajectory of life turn, at the moment boring to think about, it doesn't seem too important, maybe when the time comes, everyone will not know me, see me, so, think about it will be like a bookshelf for a long time not to read is already dusty miscellaneous books.

Blurry, dim, the positioning of the words itself is a bit distracted, you can't see if the haze left over after the passage of time will be hidden in some corner and piled up, waiting for a moment to rush to the nostrils, and then follow the organs to every part of the body, making it tired.

This body, which was obviously already unbearable, was only a small flame to ignite it, the smell of decay could not be smelled, and the old mind led the body movements step by step to the end of fate.

Calmly talk to myself and say slow down, otherwise something will happen out of my control, so the two of them are constantly arguing, making the third me seem to be stuck in a maze that can't find an exit, the more anxious I am, the more overwhelmed.

Fourth, I want to give up everything to enjoy a simple life, otherwise I will have to refund the ticket to play the excitement, which is not something that the body itself can control, this naked intimidation makes others afraid to converge and prepare to stop for a while.

The sky often darkens and then showers, turning the space you can see as gray as you can see, like a baby receiving a moment of baptism, waiting for the clouds to clear and the rainbow to reveal its colors.

In the midst of the crowd, I always want an independent way to attract everyone's attention, and the beast that lives inside tries to guide me to a path that can never return to normality, and it is difficult to integrate into the circle of friends in the past with normalcy.

Hitomi always likes strangeness, the scenery along the way is fascinating because of strangeness, and the girl on the other side of the phone will think of a lot of pictures because she hasn't gotten it yet.

Leave all the familiar pictures behind with the speed of progress, only by constantly accepting new things can we create new ideas, follow the guidance to walk your own way, and have an extraordinary future is my last wish.

When I was 17 years old, my lover once told me that you always like to hide in a place with cover, and never dare to really face the danger that is coming from all directions, and you are afraid, not like a man.

It's what I said after the breakup, I can only nod my head and answer that she is right, in fact, what she said is what I have always wanted to change, and I can feel that my youth is counting down to a handful, from thousands to hundreds to ten, and then to sigh that the years are unforgiving, I want to keep but I don't know when.

What to do for the rest of the day, I always think about this question when I have insomnia, I think of countless possibilities, and the starting point is to quit my current job first, which is a very troublesome thing for me.

When I was 22 years old, my lover slapped me and said, you are so selfish, you never think only about your own feelings, do you miss me? No, right! As long as you are happy, even if I am hit by a car, you may not be uncomfortable for long. I wanted to explain that she turned around and felt that it was no longer necessary.

How to understand the feeling that nothing feels like I belong to, many people persuade me to use everything you have and do what you like to do, just like you have some cancer and are about to end your life, only then can you know what you have not done.

I'm sorry, many moments of emotions change between inattention, it's my fault that you cry uncontrollably until your eyes are red and swollen and leave, your love for me is dying in constant repetition like this, and not being able to enjoy your surging feelings is my regret in this life.

Imagine letting go of your guard and floating above the building as light as A4 paper, never worrying about falling miserably again. When I'm tired, someone grabs me and puts me in my pocket, and as I swing around the world, I make a note of where I stop, and write down the names of the beauties who have touched me, if they can all stay in the depths of her boudoir.

I'm always so good at fantasy, I'm the king of the third world, and there's a pile of ethereal dust that doesn't see people, and I'm happy to keep it guarded.

At one point in time, in another place, there are beautiful girls who drink endless drinks and dance with me, drunk and dreaming of dying a second before the end of life, this place is in a dream, after being woken up by a series of alarm clocks, drooling and holding the quilt to dream again.

Oh my God, when I woke up and rubbed my messy hair, I was in a two-bedroom room, and I realized how big the gap between fantasy and reality was, and I was about to completely lose control and be depressed.

The curtains on the balcony are not breathable to pull up, as long as I return home, whether day or night, I will habitually close the curtains first, from a psychological point of view, such people do not like to close their inner world.

The garbage is piling up in the corner, and it hasn't been cleaned up for a few days, maybe that's the good thing about living alone, no one cares about you even if you poke a hole in the roof, I live on the highest floor, and I can lie in bed and watch the stars.

In the countless times I didn't feel numb when I opened my eyes and closed my eyes, I learned to restrain my expectations for a few years, and the more I looked forward to it, the deeper the despair caused by going on like this.

I no longer dare to tell my friends about my great ideals as before, and I already know clearly in my mind that it is impossible to achieve, and the distance difference is not just hard work and hard work. How many times I want to talk and stop has become a habit, and I still have to live a reluctant life when I think twice about being able to pocket fame and fortune at the same time.

The climate outside is starting to get cold, and there is no personality between cities, and there is no need to decorate them, as long as they can withstand each storm, it is enough to live in seclusion.

No one gave me warmth, sitting at the table and tasting the dinner that took two hours, Moutai liquor can make the blood feel warm in the stomach, and the temperature continues to flow slowly, this is the difference between national liquor and foreign liquor.

I looked through hundreds of contacts, so many names, I don't know who to call, and a few numbers that have been memorized, I want to call at any time to listen to the familiar voice, several times, all in the form of harassing calls, and the appearance may be able to gradually blur people's memories with the change, but the voice is difficult.

Sometimes I think, there are so many people in this world, there are so many people who are not as good as me can be counted by countless people, why fate chose me to be the lonely one, I really want to beat it so that it can't even be recognized by its mother.

Family affection, sometimes is it a little too cruel, a friend who has been with him for seven years, her mother left him since he was seven years old, and for more than ten years, from the ignorant hairy child to the hotel manager, he is much more mature than me.

At dinner together, he had been video chatting with a woman, the first time we had seen him video chat in a long time, I asked him curiously who he was, and he ignored me, chatting happily with the person across the screen.

It wasn't until the woman opposite said that he was going to dinner, he hung up, he said it was his mother, he just added his WeChat a few days ago, he said that she was tired of playing, wanted to stop, and couldn't play anymore when she was older.

When I spoke, I didn't feel a trace of hatred on his face, all of them were full of expectation, looking forward to his mother coming to Shijiazhuang from Wenzhou to find him, I only remembered one paragraph when they were in the video, the woman asked a friend, I go to Shijiazhuang and you raise me? My friend replied without thinking about it, "Raise, I was born by you, I don't raise you, who will raise you."

I watched in amazement as it all happened, feeling that I was not qualified to judge anything, and I couldn't even imagine how depressed I would be if I had come from a single-parent family.

Some people are born incomplete, the lack of love will lead to the loss of the emotional part, it is impossible to describe in words how desperate people will do at certain moments, and the moral concept will only get lower and lower in the future, just like people will sin every day.

Perhaps, perhaps, the nine-year compulsory education should appropriately overturn some content with different eras, what remains unchanged is the original intention, and what changes is the present.

Pour the brewed coffee into the cup, drink it from the bottom of the cup with a straw, try to think about the original intention of survival after drinking, every time it is in vain, there is still 73% of the battery left in the mobile phone, hurriedly walk to the bedroom and plug in the charger head, once it is 70% I feel anxious, this is a sense of self-protection.

All the efforts in the end want to take back something, be honest with each other, vanity hides more deceit, and wants to put yourself in a safe place at any time.

So all the character is formed because of experience, it turns out that she believes in love so much, and puts all the money she earns in her pocket, and as a result, she spends it all on the man who has an ambiguous sweet and ambiguous voice.

It's a colorful summer outside, maybe it's time to go out for a ride, go to Sister Fang, she's a successful businessman, let her drive a sports car and go for a ride.

There is no sea in Shijiazhuang, but it is quite comfortable to find a small lake place around to blow it, rummag through the cabinet to find sunglasses, touch the sunscreen twice at random, and run towards Sister Fang's commercial building.

At a speed of 100 miles per hour, his hair was blown high, the sound of music coming out of the stereo felt very heavy, his body relaxed, drinking the remy horse taken out of the refrigerator of Sister Fang's company, and the mobile phone took a picture in front of his nostrils.

The happiest thing is to have a super rich and spoiled sister, at the moment her left hand stays on the steering wheel, her right hand is raised high with the melody of the song, and her mouth is still humming I don't understand English.

She can enjoy more than me, the reason is that people have money, find handsome guys to travel abroad for a few days every month, go to the bathing center every day to massage until what time, body maintenance definitely costs more money, the more the better, you can't let yourself enjoy a minute less, looking for an eight-pack duck, unmarried, she is the queen of the high.

I said that she would enjoy more than men, she said that men are nothing, but they are just venting tools under the old lady, don't think about it, excluding you, a little hairy child who has not yet grown up.

I posted a circle of friends, and the content is, people are fucking bored enough to live, drink to death, hit to death, fuck to death, and die anyway, Lao Tzu just doesn't want to be born, old, sick and die.

A lot of people commented that I was crazy, my mom called me, I turned off my phone, I didn't want to say anything at the moment, I just wanted to be an outsider with nothing to do and enjoy a rare happy time.

After that, am I really happy? It's eleven o'clock at night when I get home, I open my notebook and want to write something, but I only have anxiety hovering in my mind, so close the screen and stay for a while, anyway, I'm the same specialty, I can sit quietly all day alone.

My mood is completely different from all the works I have written, I should become an adult at twenty-six, I am a freelancer in the text, I wander around the world every day to make friends with all kinds of strangers, but at the moment I can't find a glimmer of hope about this, only the loss of going home and holding at the foot of the bed.

Pounding the innocent notebook hard to vent my anger, like the most helpless poor person in the episoline story who can see where tomorrow night is, it turns out that I will always laugh, and at the moment I empathize.

The most tiring plot is in his own field but not his own protagonist, when driving at full speed on the road of his hometown, the air flow that keeps blowing backwards is taking away the last bit of dreams and happiness.

When the streets were all extinguished, I felt that the world was really quiet, and only the couple on the opposite floor were left lying on the balcony and having sex.

I'm sticking my neck and peeping, and the shameful mannerisms and actions of many people are for the sake of creation and don't want to be silent every day, so that time can pass by in a flash, and I am more embarrassed to explain, even I laughed at myself.

Let the darkness darken the whole space, light a candle and erect it on the table, close the curtains to leave a candle light, and the moment I light the wick, I seem to see eternity on the other side of the fire.

I took out my mobile phone and it was all text messages from my mother, and she was the one who could care about me so anxiously, but I couldn't take the step of easily accepting my fate, even if I had reached the age promised to her, a little compromise was a lifetime.

Imagine what the gap is between you and those who have already succeeded, what can you do if you are flashy, and what you once saw as a genius in the eyes of others has become a burden that you don't want to call when you drink now? I thought about going crazy and couldn't think of a reason to change it a little.

I still remember the smell of Beijing seven years ago, I earned the first manuscript fee, which was 3,000 yuan, I knew that there were too many squeezed ingredients in it, but I was still very happy, I went to the bar with a friend and spent 2,000 yuan to get drunk, and then put the 1,000 on the girl's chest and then carried her to the hotel.

When I walked under the sun the next day, I realized that I was in Beijing, where 3,000 yuan was not as good as 3 yuan when I was a child, and too many people here never said how much money I had, but used women and cars to prove everything.

I didn't even have the ability to pretend to be good for two days, and the negative mindset started at that time, and I vowed to be someone who could say a word in the upper circle, no matter how cruel the process was.

The ideas are so big that one hand can hold the world tightly, and then I am troubled by the income to go to high-end occasions, so I sell my works cheaply, and on the day when I can't write anything, I understand that this is not a place where naïve people can play around at will, and they still want to buy a house? I don't know when I won't be able to afford to rent a house.

It's better than a mobile phone, only the memo has been backed up in iCloud, and I turned to the most arrogant paragraph I've ever written, as follows.

The feeling of drinking this cup of Chivas Regal in front of me is really amazing, and it makes the rats in the dungeon all feel so charming that there is no need to hide it, just to let everyone in the audience know that I will stand higher in the future.

Although I am very artistically talented, I refuse to use fleshy sentences to attract you, the world is my only stage, and putting your mind over will definitely give you the most wonderful sense of enjoyment.

Expand the space infinitely, I just need to sing the lead song of hip-hop to make everyone's feet uncontrollable, born to be the material that is worshiped by people with their eyes, go to the low-key of the fuck, who to show hypocrisy, I just want to break the rules and be the first king.

At that time, I was arrogant with that little money, and now I can only nod and giggle when I think about it, which is ridiculous.

The wax was burning with the core, they assimilated together, and when they were about to be completely extinguished, I didn't give them a chance to disappear completely, and blew it out in a deep breath.

Darkness completely swept over my pupils, the universe itself was darkness, and the dust kept dancing in every space, not tired, too lazy to stop.

All that was left was the ticking of the clock on the wall, and I got up and walked to the bed and lay down, closing my eyes and waiting for the day to turn.

If there were apocalyptic prophecies again, such as 2012, wouldn't it be relatively easy to live?