Do you also think that the love in this society is a little fast, eat a few times, hold hands a few times, kiss a few mouths, and then go to open a room, very casual, all let instinct and hormones start, and then end unpredictably, as if it is similar to buying scratch tickets, being able to win the lottery is equivalent to whether the next step of progress, all depends on luck. Even if we all understand these truths, we still can't keep moving towards the beautiful side in that atmosphere, and the love when we grow up is either carnal or neatly married.

The era we are trapped in always seems to grow up in hindsight, even if we know that every effort is a silent wrist cutting trick, but we are still allowing our already dry lips to continue to greedily suck the rapid outflow of blood, this form of self-harm no one will agree with, but it is a daily routine that many people are happy to do.

On a boring afternoon, my younger sister, who is in junior high school, watched the idol plot on TV and asked me during the advertisement: "Should the relationship be happy with each other, should not be hidden, if one of the parties says that it should be over, it is really the end of it, not the other party's continued entanglement." In that case, I feel like I see a ghost in a red dress, constantly moving in and out of another person's world, more like a terrible obsession, which will become a common problem in the lives of both of them. I nodded, and then shook my head, wanting to say that you are still too young to understand this, but I swallowed it before I could spit it out, maybe compared to her, it was me who really didn't understand, she was more like she was satirizing my past. From emotion to ruthlessness in the end, it's a bit ridiculous to say, but it's actually because his qualifications haven't reached the point where he is enough to walk quietly in it. How to put it, maybe everyone is an actor in the plot of the huge world, and I am the one who is worse and can't fully enter the play, always magnifying the world through pessimistic gaps. I was so desperate that I had thoughts of dying, and sometimes I enjoyed it, and I felt very perverted inside, these two different faces, the latter could give me motivation in disguise, and the former made me despair for the future. Regarding love, it may be aside from the physical appearance that you see at first glance, and it may be more important to look at the spiritual world.

I still remember taking a bath in the school bathhouse when I was at school, and when they talked about the girl I liked, with some sarcasm, subconscious, all subconscious, I stepped forward and kicked the loudest person to the ground, and then he stood up and scolded: "You are sick!" After scolding, he rushed up to beat me, and before he could punch me, he was persuaded by others. The steaming water splashed against the pores of the cells in my back, and the anger in my head made me feel dizzy, and I sat down to escape from the crowd, and buried my face with my hands together, the sound of the water and the cacophony of chatter in my ears made me want to bury my head like this forever.

That was the first time I had acted as a hero for a girl, and the key was that I didn't even know what my impression was in the eyes of others. Some people, in your heart, have long known in your heart that there will not be any crossover in the future, but you still can't allow her to suffer a little grievance within your sight, no one will clearly pay attention to this feeling, all the chicken soup for the soul is the fuse that adds fuel to the fire in the eyes of the person concerned. You can't ask someone to do anything for you, even if it's just talking.

Sometimes I like to get along alone, sometimes I hate getting along with one, when I sent this sentence to Yuanyuan through WeChat, she called me back and said: "Lady, I once went to the mall alone when I suddenly came to the aunt, or in the summer, I wore a skirt and safety pants, the safety pants are still flesh-colored, I can feel that the blood has soaked the safety pants, and the extra blood will not be exposed to everyone along the thighs in ten minutes." I hurriedly looked at the sign to find the toilet, I was anxious to death, and I didn't dare to move my steps significantly, and hurriedly opened the mobile phone address book after squatting down in the bathroom, and flipped through it for a long time, as if there were only a handful of people I knew in this city, but I just got through a phone call with a favorite person with a small expectation. Within half an hour, someone brought clothes and sanitary napkins over, not the person I liked, but her girlfriend, and at that moment I felt that I didn't just want to get into the mouse hole, and even had the idea of going out and being hit by a car. The scary thing is not whether you want to be alone, but whether the person you want to get along with is willing to get along with you, and I know that the one you like definitely doesn't want to. ”

Life is too short, and I sit back and squander everything I have, but it is simply too little, basically equivalent to nothing in the eyes of many people. After confiding her inner secrets in a bar with a girl who seemed too much to be plain, she didn't make any comments, but lightly told her past, as if the boundless sky was gradually shrinking towards me, and finally suffocating. It's so small, I think that the heart-rending story is like a family play compared to Yi Yi, those who seem so simple that they can't be simpler, have the ability to reverse black and white and subvert right and wrong.

He bled when he hit his head on the south wall, burned his stomach by drinking strong wine, panicked with his conscience, and was quietly poisoned. I always want to peep on the privacy of those good friends when I was a child, because they are very familiar, familiar to the strangeness later, even if I think I know them well enough, but in fact, it is the first impression from childhood to adulthood, and at this moment their kind smiling faces can't hide the vicissitudes of life. Perhaps, maybe the person who is really becoming more attentive is me, who always wants to use my own sense of exploration and inspiration on their heads, but forgets that even if they are hypocritical, they need to cultivate good habits in advance, and my habits are not suitable for this group of friends. Everyone has secrets that they don't want to be known by their closest friends, and no one should ruthlessly expose them in front of others, which is not only disrespectful, but also touching the bottom line of others. The essence of human beings is warm, but the unstoppable deliberateness is cold.

I asked myself if it was okay to exhaust myself so much from an unrealistic dream? In the end, I can't get a perfect answer, it's nothing more than for the future, either lose a mess, or win and lose yourself. Ignorance is also a kind of motivation, to be able to realize without hesitation, fearlessly, without pain, to realize the idea that seems to be great but is actually more like a dream, which may feel ridiculous, and it is ridiculous in itself, and there is too much dissatisfaction with the status quo under the ridiculousness.

Xiao Luan, who claimed to be a bitch in red stockings, said to me, "You are not literary at all? ”

I quickly touched my face and asked, "You're a little harsh, everyone says I'm very literary." ”

Xiao Luan poured wine into my empty cup, lit a cigarette and said: "One person, one tea, one book, one afternoon, this is what a literary and artistic young man with connotation should do, look at you, all day long is either clubbing or women, it is clear that he is a gangster, and he dares to call himself literary and artistic?" ”

Connotation? Connotations are now used as metaphors for eroticism. Excessive waste has already made me wonder how to perfectly modify my own shortcomings, and some things that have too much will become a burden, not only annoying others, but also myself. Time is pushing us forward, and the idea of writing a book has become more and more urgent, but we don't know whether the real meaning of continuing like this is to vent our emotions or to direct and act out a joke. We ourselves are like actors in a mime, an ignorant child watching all this happen with a pair of harmless pupils, which seems to be a deduction, but in fact it is a farce. A life that is too cautious, it seems that it is easy to walk in it without the slightest pressure, and it will not let itself fall into a passive state, but in fact, what is lost in it can no longer be measured by counting.

Sometimes I don't know what I'm hoping for, what I'm hoping for, or what I'm hoping for, but I just feel that I'm so, and I don't seem to have any sorrow on the surface, but there are countless pains in my body that I'm about to cry. When the person I like walks in the mall holding someone else's hand, I pull out the decorative plants on both sides one by one, and I don't curse anything, as if I will give birth to a boy without that and give birth to a girl without that.

I began to live day by day not like myself, began to put on a mask on my smile, felt that this century was crowded and cramped, and began a new round of self-reflection.

There are more and more friends who are getting married, and they seem to be grabbing the opportunity, lest anyone end up as a leftover man, I always see tears when I watch the host tease them, maybe I will cry if I am too happy, but unfortunately the happiness here refers to others. In this life of happiness and suffering, how lucky it is to have a perfect time of love, the blessings I give them are made up in the evening, although there are not too many artistic plots in it, but it is my most sincere idea of future love.

Later, when I passed by the school gate countless times, I would be very envious of the fearless faces of those students, who were not yet social, and they still believed that as long as they worked hard, they would succeed. There are a lot of students around me who are not very good at studying, and they have already been ruthlessly squeezed by the long space, leaving the class after school and coming to the workplace, the more sensible they are, the more frustrated this truth keeps winding around the brain, and they will not struggle, because they don't want to work in vain. I am happy to love someone for free, only in this way can I grow quickly, I am not happy to live in a country where many things are not enough to confess, if I can run naked.

Yuanyuan said that the happiest thing every day is to put on makeup before going out, which is the only thing to please herself. She is very envious of those girls who buy clothes only based on feelings rather than considering whether the clothes themselves are suitable for themselves, even if they are going on a blind date or a date today, they will only choose the clothes in the cabinet according to their own mood, instead of repeatedly being echoed by others, in order to please others to be a stranger to themselves, it will be really tiring for a long time, those who are really confident, even if they are worn by village girls in the countryside, can still amaze the audience. The real awesome is not the so-called white rich beauty on the bright side, but the woman who deliberately does not use makeup to dress up, and has her own halo effect wherever she goes.

That's what she said to me, but she is indeed a contradictory person in life, every time she is not satisfied with her makeup, she will definitely take off and paint it a second time, regardless of whether she will be late for the date, in her words, even if the old lady is released by the pigeon, she will never let people see me ugly. When shopping for clothes in the mall, she will definitely turn the whole floor around, and even if there is a suitable one, she will think that maybe there will be a more suitable one ahead. When you go out on a trip with your boyfriend and stay in a hotel, you never want luxury, but romance, and if you are not satisfied with your heart, your boyfriend is not allowed to touch her. I laughed at her, I won't say if the other party wants to touch you, can you bear it yourself? She asked me rhetorically, do you think I'm the kind of person who makes me humiliate?

Wordless, many episodes happen in the present and do not exist. I'm still laying out for myself, dead, but still enjoying it. I'm just thinking, if there are a hundred possibilities in the future, why discard those ninety-nine? I know how small I am, rebellious, stupid, humiliated, and disdainful of pleasing others.

If I put all my desires aside, I can't tell what a good life is. A house of my own, even if it is not too big, even if it is bought with a loan, I will take the time to slowly decorate it to the way I want. A person who has no secrets from each other and can trust to rely on someone who can spend their lives together, maybe this kind of person is not suitable for that kind of particularly beautiful girl. A decent job. A car that doesn't need to be too good to hit the road is enough. This seems to be the goal of many men, and it is also the expectation of many girls for boys, but many people can't achieve it at all at the short age of Fanghua.

Sometimes I wonder, thinking about the people who move bricks on the construction site, the people who serve dishes in the hotel, are their futures more confused than me? I can't think of it, I can't think of it because I am always dissatisfied with my own life, and I feel that empathy is an unenterprising attitude. It may be disrespectful to say this, but this is what the authorities really think.

Close your eyes, if you talk about life, I can think of the most beautiful and most want to relive the picture is actually quite simple, that is, the days of eating at the door of grandma's house, the hot temperature of midsummer is resisted under the small gazebo at the gate, eating grandma's cooking, drinking the beer that grandpa bought, and constantly chirping in the distance, and then all this has been overturned in the grand catastrophe of the new rural construction, they don't even have the right to choose, compared to the two-storey villa, that is their yearning, but also all my yearning for being young. Later, I thought that if I had money in the future, I would definitely buy the land and rebuild the same stone and brick house as before, even if the house was small and pitiful for me at the moment, even if it was purely a money-throwing project.

Even though it has been nearly seven years since this time happened, once I recall it again, I still feel unconsciously sad in my heart, and I even want to cry. I've never told anyone this little secret, and I think that with time, I will let it go one day, but I underestimate my own attachment to it. I guess if you talk to your family, they'll be very touched. But if you talk to your friends, they will find it incredible, thinking that people like me, who only want to pursue trends in everything, should not have this kind of nostalgic thinking about the past.

Men are basically blind people with good faces, and they are only willing to let people see what they want to reveal, and they don't want to easily show the fragile and ignorant side, and the hidden and unstable undercurrents in the body seem to be full of wire nets, layer by layer, black, sharp, and the naked eye looks like it will bleed if touched with the hand.

If you were asked what ruined your life, how would you answer?

I probably because of a short and fragile love. I've done too many ridiculous and desperate things for this, do you regret it? I regret it, I regret it very much, and my intestines will be repentant. If you really enjoy love, it feels like it is on a material basis, and then you will have enough ability to give each other a sense of security, rather than being young and frivolous and very individual, at least now I really don't know where the sense of security comes from without material love, it is really too fragile.

Actually, I always thought that I would only want to hug you and kiss you when I was drunk, but then I found out that it would be the same when I saw your photo, and I would do the same when I heard your name, and I knew it was a hallucination for a while. My current view of love is far less heavy than it used to be, a little light and fluttery, and it is enough to solve the needs when the physiology needs it. Love comes and goes, tired and annoying, and the energy consumed is not as enjoyable as going to an Internet café to play a game.

I remember a time when I always felt that the girl around me was a little dirty at the moment, and I had slept with several exes before, but when I went to the bar to find a woman like a bus to sleep, my mind was never about this question, but in a place where it would be more pleasant. I know this is a crime, but it should be what many men think.

Past. Right now. Future. These six words are words that will appear in countless articles, it implements the unbearable expectations of too many people, and I tell about love in different time periods. It looks gorgeous, but it's actually vulgar. It seems to be scoffing, but in fact it is full of expectations.

The constant scars on my body repeatedly asked me when I would recognize the reality and live a good life, but all I could think of was to keep perfunctory myself. It's like drinking for a long time, and the stomach has begun to kneel and pray, but the wounded heart doesn't agree to live or die, and wants to indulge in it.

It is completely natural for moths to fight fires, and they are not as great as the world says. Born rebellious and self-believing, it is not as unbearable as discussed. In the same way, love, none of us is qualified to judge what is right and what is wrong, if it is said that love is erased in the persuasion of others, is it love? There are too many, everyone should have seen it around them, because they are not satisfied with the conditions of each other's family or genetics or what, they are strongly opposed by their families, and 95% of them will choose one hundred after the meeting, and from then on one side of the other. On this issue, I often have two thoughts, one is to look down on such people, keep saying that they love each other, and they don't even care about death, but in the end they are defeated by the persuasion of their families, I wonder if your family is uncomfortable when you die or if you have to be with each other, your family is uncomfortable, this is a problem that even elementary school students know, and promises are so unworthy of respect? Another is that I feel that I should listen to my family, after all, I have raised him for decades, and everything I do is for the good of my children. At this time, love will be tangled with reality, making you unclear and tormenting you left and right.

I think one of the most ridiculous idioms in the world is to go with the flow, and in the end, fate is completely out of your control, I don't know.

I'm no longer qualified to say I love you, and the qualification here is worth it because no matter what I say, it will make you feel false, after all, it is also, people who have been bitten by a poisonous snake once and do not die will have a sense of fear of this animal in this life, although this description is a bit exaggerated.

I can feel your outline blurry in my vision, and it is about to disappear completely, I don't want to do this, so I break into your life in the name of the bad guy in your eyes, and bring blood to you again and again, making you miserable, this is not love, I know it very well, but there is no way to escape, it is I who refuse to let go of myself and let you go.

If I meet you again one day, please forgive me for not knowing if I will lose my temper again, but I just feel that life is too short, and one wipe is helpless to death.