Chapter 19: The Drunken Remembrance of Death
The early morning haze obscures the skylight, the eyes seem to be blind, you can't see anything, the white and gray world is the set left behind after you are gone, you must not know that my friend is a monk after dumping her bitch girlfriend.
The pictures in the room full of smiling faces seem more like a mockery at the moment, my dear, you are the devil of angels, you leave mercilessly after sucking my blood, I wonder if you often hear heart-rending screams in your sleep, this is not madness, but the resentment that I have left in the sound waves after hurting myself for a long time.
The image of you turning away after gaining trust will be touring for the rest of your life until yesterday, and you use me to break into a trap that has been laid for a long time, and you ignore it, and your hiding of your face has always been a sign before my suffering.
How to describe our attitude when we are together, anyway, every day is circulating that bit of bad things, you try your best to get everything you want, and I just left the loneliness out of a hundred miles to make myself less emotional, and now the loneliness I have thrown away is all rushing to everywhere I go.
You don't know how it feels, even if you've used this trick countless times to get in and out of different men's lives, even if I've long wanted to scold you for being a bitch like my friends! But I promise, I'm definitely the best man you've ever had.
They say that a lonely boat on the sea can set off huge waves, and by the time the cup of tea cools, you have lost the motivation to continue working hard.
At that moment, I seemed to lose all power, like a ten-meter-high benchmark, no matter how I tried to do it, I couldn't cross it, I could only watch the computer have the lower right corner of the calendar subverted from the beginning of the month to the end of the month, I had to tell myself that this month is temporary, I can relax and adjust. What a self-deceptive lie, formed by self-deception.
No one understands where my apathy comes from, and sometimes I feel tired and about to collapse myself, and then I want to give up altogether, and those I pursue, whether they are finally realized or not, will eventually be drowned in the dusty corners by the tide.
Life is not the Contra game we played as a child, and after each successful level, you can continue to be fascinated, and when you ask the boss why you are so weak, it tells me that this is the secret that can make you addicted.
Pretending to be an alternative to the pursuit of perfection, how many keyword tags do you need to use to stand out among millions of people, even if I pursue perfection, in the eyes of others, it may be a burden lost at the beginning. At that moment, I lost not only power, but also the dignity of crossing in mid-air and not being able to fall.
From the first page of the book, have you been aware of the side of your heart that is constantly restrained, how many years ago the future that seemed bright took shape to the moment of despair, all helplessness was buried deep in the heart before it was revealed again, the soil is turned over day by day yesterday.
When these become nightmares that wake you up again and again, and you wake up to find your other half lying on the side and sleeping peacefully, yes, you have long lost your original passion, and you will no longer hug each other and sleep peacefully every night. You are not willing to do this, but there are too many constraints that make you unable to let go of your hands and fight without scruples, which should be one of the things that many people suffer from in the back half of their bodies.
It is impossible to mark the birthmark on the wheel, even if its width already covers the entire wide road, and the different postures that are stacked are destined to be overturned in the deep earth.
I know how helpless all this is, but I still stand on the sidelines and watch things continue to move forward, and all I can do seems to be that, ignoring. Indifferent. If pushed.
Think of it as the last night of your life, Mong Qi said as she twisted her hips and bit my ear and lip. There is no trouble that cannot be solved by indulgence, and as the beauty with heavy makeup on the stage dries up, it is considered that it will die after dawn, and everything you want to do will be turned upside down tonight.
Mongie pointed at the pole-dancing Canadian girl and screamed at me, she can rape your body with her legs, the evil of women is that they can take it with impunity, some time ago she walked into the Maserati luxury car with three handsome guys and drove to the rich man's mansion.
Most of the women here are like old records that have long been tired of crooked, the cover is still so smooth and delicate after careful rubbing, but on the other side is a series of scratches visible to the naked eye, messy and organized, never falling in love, just like a ferryman, carrying this prodigal son to the shore and quickly picking up the next one.
Maybe some people are like this, with an alternative attitude to be proud of the convention, with a beautiful and edible body to induce all kinds of states, no wine glass, no more drunk, sooner or later there will be a more provocative attitude to subvert everything serious.
The relationship between people is lukewarm and the temperature is not like they are all waiting, waiting to become strangers after the last leaf falls. Like the synchronization of tango steps, waiting for the song to stop, a second before relaxing the tension of the body, is the most sober conversation between the ambiguous two.
How about getting drunk? How about staying up all night? This should be the most real color life, and it must be properly restored to prove that we are still alive.
Relax, soften your whole body, and don't doubt that you are standing at the center of the whole world, let us sing the tide song of the exclusive era, there is no faith that can destroy you, believe that you can have more.
To learn how to get yourself out of the trough, the worst tendencies of all things always extend to the surroundings at different levels, and the fastest growth rate is promoted in the fear of each other, knowing that those who walk on the cliff are taking pleasure in their lives.
It is an emotion to grasp the rules of the game in the slightest tone, just like being able to become a star with acting skills without a few years of school, how barbaric and ignorant the truth is to say, but it is the truth that modern people are telling you.
At the door of that consumption place, doing whatever you want means that you are drunk, and you deliberately laugh loudly to show that your desire to prove yourself is stronger, how can this be, looking at the past Lamborghini just want to shout loudly, looking at the beautiful girls in the past and wanting to talk to a few words, is it because I am really too deeply depressed?
The godless eyes, the uncontrolled pace, and the miscellaneous fragrance from the flower shop next to him filled the air, it should be just drunk, not dizzy, so it won't be lying on the ground in the next second.
Unlike in the past, I am the only one at the moment, and this cool picture that I have seen in the video countless times is playing out at the moment, why does it always feel like something is missing, or rather, it was originally layered by the world's top editors.
When I lay on the ground and stared at this city of various colors, I had to admit that I was really drunk, so I just lay on the slate floor that made my body panic, ignoring the crowd of people, staring directly at the blue starry sky without a star, and thinking to myself, I will never be able to adapt to the existence of this land that envelops me.
What exactly is an urban area? Is it the rolling roofs that are piled up with different types of houses as far as the eye can see? Or is it an undeveloped old area that developers have long been eyeing for a long time? They all said that more than 50 percent of the rich people in Shijiazhuang are demolition households, once when the driver was in his thirties, he said that his family is a demolition household, and there is no shortage of money, too lazy to go to work, too bored at home for a long time, so he came out with a small amount of money to pass the time.
The eldest brother at the entrance of the community who bakes cold noodles every night told me that his family of four is setting up stalls, distributed in four different corners of the city, in the southeast, northwest and northwest, and he sells the least amount every day, which is about 200 cents. After listening to it, I calculated that his family could earn more than 100,000 yuan a month. It's almost a year's salary for Shijiazhuang Jinling.
As for money, it seems that this is the case, sometimes it is just luck, not that you must be very good after graduating from a prestigious university, nor is it waiting for your house to be demolished and make a fortune for the rest of your life, you can't say that everything is fixed in the dark, but it really depends on luck.
After many years of poor money, Xiaofu's family lived in an adobe house in the town, and later the new countryside was developed, and his father didn't know where to borrow more than 100,000 yuan to build a big supermarket, which was next to the tourist attraction, and there were a lot of people who came and went, and they rushed to his door when they encountered traffic jams. At that time, the business was so hot that even a certain big leader who was an official in the capital went to his house to buy things. And Xiaofu naturally changed from the original poor and unbeautiful to the current rich makeup beauty, driving the BMW 1 Series that his father bought for her to shuttle on the highway every day, provoking the dicks to whistle and want to hook up. But the people are no longer the girl they used to be, and they don't bother to talk to the local turtles. This is the best example of what it means to be "at what stage and what kind of people" I have seen for the first time.
I don't think I'm so lucky, I don't have the capital to go simple, I don't have a reason not to be busy, and sometimes I feel that loneliness comes very inexplicably, just after writing my last article.
Maybe it should become a habit, tell yourself that the end of all articles should be written before going to bed as much as possible, maybe there may be a sleeping effect, you don't have to find a way to buy sleeping pills from time to time, how many people hear these three words The first impression that comes to mind is suicide.
There are five different flavors of coffee in the cabinet in the restaurant, which I use to stay up late, and the sleeping pills are placed two centimeters to the right of the coffee, which has become the most stark contrast I have seen in my life, how wonderful.
Last night, I accidentally dropped the newly bought Apple notebook on the ground.,That distressing feeling is like a wound that is difficult to heal in my body.,About the loss of this sentence will be understood.,It should be said to be heard at this moment.,Otherwise, it's all up to imagination.,Where can you completely pay attention to it.。
Just like the most expensive and bitter chocolate, you're welcome, just keep chewing slowly, just like eating strawberry cake in the morning, and trust that you will be complimented over time.
We all like the beauty of the E cup, although we know that all kinds of superfluous ingredients have been added to it, but it is comfortable to touch and bring it out to save face.
Of course, it is not excluded that some girls are born natural, I have encountered, but it is really a little rich, that night we lay on her sofa watching TV, her head was naturally leaning on my thigh, my left eye floated her big breast, my right eye unintentionally watched TV, a full half an hour, in the struggle between desire and reason, in the end, reason prevailed, I did not take the next move, and then walked out of her house in a gloomy way. Even though I feel like I'm a lower body animal, I don't really have the desire to go on when faced with a girl I'm not interested in. Later, I thought about it and said to my friend, "People like me are definitely not suitable to be ducks."
And this friend is a man who serves all kinds of rich women in a nightclub, and I asked her how she felt when she touched that lump of fat. He excitedly told me that it was like touching a pink bill, and that after getting the money, you would go to college to raise a college girl, and that you would only know how much heaven is a place to enjoy until you have tried hell.
Yes, there are so many things that you can only stand on the outside and try to do something to understand yourself from the perspective of not understanding the world, so that you can live a different life.
In the classic album, everyone's feelings should be the same, when you are sad, when you are happy, when you wander on the street at night with nothing to do, the songs that keep looping in your ears are the lyrics that your favorite star has long forgotten.
Whether it's a Starbucks or a teahouse, it's the best place to relax on an idle afternoon, because you can always meet interesting people in it to give you a different kind of inspiration, like the heartbeat of stepping behind you in high heels.
Dad told me that not following the rules is the funniest of all the rules, and if you can use it correctly in the future, you'll find that the whole city is just as small as the map in your hand, and you have the ability to paint it backwards.
As I grew up, I found that slowing down life is much better than playing life, not fighting or grabbing, taking a completely different path from others, and the novelty you create will be a well-deserved trend.
The wish I had made on the night of Midsummer Eve was still so memorable, and where was the man beside me at the moment? No need to ask, you know, in the arms of that honest man you've met once.
No matter how sad the words are, no matter how much anger they are filled with, they will only seem like a glimpse to the reader, and they will be forgotten overnight, just like the melody of a song, as long as you don't remember it, it won't remember.
It may be that I have played music before, and all of them always combine writers and composers, all of them are in the middle of the night, they are all capturing the fleeting inspiration, they are all unconsciously forgetting time, and they are all trying to stand out from many peers and competitors.
I still like music a little more, because I have been from the heart since I was a child, but I like it, talent belongs to talent, and in the face of money that I have to use anytime and anywhere, I can only choose talent.
The children who had nothing would pretend to be fierce to protect themselves and prove themselves, but they didn't know that the smiling swordsman would pierce the hard ribs with the dagger hidden behind his back at the right time.
From the moment you roll the dice, you should understand that this is a win-or-lose gamble, only a stupid chick will be scared to leave the game halfway, like a man, trim the neck tie, lose decently, and see each other in the future.
At that time, I read the fantasy books, and the protagonists were all stronger than the previous chapter in the next chapter, maybe they were too deeply poisoned, so they wanted to get more things today than yesterday before they would stop.
I don't know how to fight with the sky, the earth, and people, but I know that fighting for myself is the most enjoyable, like a life that never thought I would fail, burning in the spark step by step.
I just went on according to my own ideas, there may be too many mistakes, too little to meet the market trend, but why, but I feel that this is the most real side of myself, is it a little interesting to feel that life, that is enough.
I still remember the few nights you spent writing a love letter to her, maybe from that time, it was destined for many days in the future, anyway, I think it is soft, not fighting or grabbing, it is enough, how can you have so much strength to please the people around you.
Happiness should not be closely revolved in love, in the end, it is to be free, even if I write here and suddenly the computer breaks off, I will blame myself for a long time, I am afraid because I am still a long distance away from the word happiness, yes.
Ride Curry's dusty motorcycle out for a ride, no traffic police will stop you on the street at midnight, and the streets of the whole city will be yours, isn't that what you've been planning for a long time? Try what it's like to push the limits of your car.
Seven hangovers, seven movies, seven lovers, seven floors, I was very lonely on the seventh day of the seventh month, I couldn't find a place to vent my anger that had been holding back for several days, and I would be woken up by the alarm clock at seven o'clock every day.
We are all a group of young people who set sail alone with their dreams, and there is no warship in front of us to help you resist the artillery fire from the attack, so you can only rely on yourself, and you can only defuse all the waves of attacks by your own and growing stronger.
Until you are completely exhausted, you can't see that the blue sky has long since left us and moved a hundred miles away. Talking to himself, leaning back on the couch and talking to the actors across the screen, one of whom had two drinks at the reception. The clock ticked and ticked as usual, and suddenly he couldn't control himself from crying loudly, and he still looked so cowardly. Well, tomorrow will probably be the same. How, what can some grief do?
Occasionally, it should be, inexplicable emotions suddenly make you feel that you are playing mercilessly with something, and you are also angry and helpless, the happier it is, you once told me that everything can be discarded, only love. Forgive me for taking the second as a joke now.
Do you think that tomorrow, after today's tomorrow, is not like a beer bubble that blooms with life and then disappears, dreams are constantly making people lose their minds, constantly wandering between gains and losses, and whether they want to continue to live for the sake of faith has become a question sentence. Anyway, as long as you live tomorrow, something will happen, is it a repeat of today? Is it going crazy? Shouldn't you slow down the action at the moment and watch it, there are so many things that can be modified to make you better.
Every step I took made me feel like I was walking in a huge prison, I always felt like I couldn't get out in front of power, the empty goblet could continue to be full, and even the underwear thrown on the ground was covered with the smell of cigarettes, which made people feel that the unique picture was played out on the scumbags and all the time, and they were carrying the name of praise trying to find a ray of light in the dark night.
I once told my family that I would work hard in the future, I promised that my lover would love her well in this life, I solemnly told my friends that as long as she didn't die, she would have a thousand cups, and I once told myself that I would be a big star in the future. However, everything is a fluttering sentence in a lie, and it is just thrown in the heap and never picked up again.
Downplaying everything is the best theme I give to life, yes, everything can be laughed at as if it doesn't matter, and those heavy responsibilities on my shoulders may be left to my children's children to face.
I like to try things that don't have rules.
It's like you can see the label of rebellion in me.
Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.
These three days must have been circulating in the darkness for a thousand days.
Finally, it can be directly summed up by the word "gone".
Don't ask questions without answers, and love without an ending can continue to be promised.
They all say that all sadness is a foreshadowing of happiness.