When memories mercilessly paint what I think are the most beautiful scenes, I know that loneliness is one step closer to me.

Familiar shuttling through the alley of my hometown, the crowd on both sides of the street is called uncles and aunts, I grew up watching me, and now everyone will ask how it is to work outside? Got a girlfriend? They simply cared more about my existence than my family.

Every time I simply echo the matter, what I think in my heart is, your son or daughter is older than me, not just a single dog, where is the mood to care more about other people's affairs.

At that time, I was arguably one of the naughtiest children here, and every time I got into trouble, my father rushed to claim it, and then relied on their weak communication to help me settle down, and then took me home for a good reprimand.

I felt like I was living in a cage that had been imprisoned, and no matter how I tossed and turned, I would be solved by interpersonal relationships in the end, so that I would call home and ask them to find a solution whenever something happened.

Just leaving their circle, or rather their time, they could think of so few ideas that I heard on the other side of the phone only their anxious panting.

I have tried to make myself stronger, but these efforts seem to be just a fantasy until now, and I can always give encouragement to my friends at the same stage, and I only have loss left for myself.

Life has always been silent on the train between dreams and hometown, but I have become accustomed to failure after failure.

I know that my current silence is changing for another self.

I also know that the dawn of each day will be a new beginning.

A rebellious person will not easily admit defeat, even if you say that his limbs are all bound, he will use his eyes to make you feel that his behavior is very cowardly.

Life is very short, don't be the weak person who doesn't even dare to struggle, I always warn myself like this.

At the same time, they are also deceiving themselves that the future will be better, and the self-deception of the present is just to be able to live a better life. Only when you stand taller, preferably at the summit under the clouds, can you look out of sight.

Every time I go home and see my parents, I can loosen all my defenses, no matter how much money I earn during this time, I will bring them some gifts, although they always say waste, but these wastes can be exchanged for the comfort that I have accumulated in my heart for a long time.

When I take them out on a trip, they stay in five-star hotels, even if it comes at the cost of maxing out my credit card, I am willing to take it easy.

Mom told me a word, she said that we can still support you now, as long as we can help you, even if we sell the family house, we will not hesitate at all, and when we are old in the future, you will take care of us, if you don't want to take care of me, just throw me to the nursing home, we will not drag you down, my biggest wish in this life is to make you happy.

The words are very simple, it is a simple person to say, but every time I think about it, I can't control my expression, and there are tears.

So I gave them the best I could think of, they were the most loyal guardian angels in my life.

One of the things that made my mom feel very depressed was that I would bring all the girlfriends I had at different stages to my grandmother's house for dinner, instead of bringing them back to my own home.

Every time my mother envies, I call and say that I am not filial, and if I don't want to go home, I won't come back, and I laugh perfunctorily next time.

Now I counted carefully, I took four girlfriends to my grandmother's house before and after, and every time I happily went to the market to buy all kinds of meat and stew it, and I also enjoyed this feeling in my heart.

Several years have passed in a blink of an eye, I am now single, grandma keeps urging me to start a family, I said that I have not started a business, how to start a family, grandma said that after starting a family, I will naturally start a business, I muttered in a low voice Are you always confused? It's so easy to say that it fools me like a fool.

In fact, I don't want to stabilize and live a good life, watching the classmates around me get married one by one, and my bride price is thousands of thousands, it must be a sum of money, but marriage means life, and I really don't dare to face the complicated life easily.

Life is to chat with those friends who grew up with me when I was a child, and the way I chatted has also changed, and the way I met every year has changed from how to have fun when I was a child to how much money I made during this time, how much money I made during this time, and when I got married, and by the way, I teased the stupid history of the past.

Lao Zhang used to work in the Shenyang Railway, and then stopped for a while for some reason, and opened a restaurant by himself when he was bored, and his annual income was about to break one million, so sometimes I think about it, opportunity and luck really account for a large part of the success ratio.

In fact, sometimes I am quite disgusted with the development of the times, and I eradicate all the memories of too many memories when I was a child, but how can a person like me, who follows fashion trends all the time, suddenly have such thoughts.

In the subway in Shijiazhuang, you will never experience the crowded atmosphere of Beijing, and don't think about the whole affair at every turn, and those who look in their twenties may have a large number of people who are already married.

In fact, I am changing, but I want to keep my hometown in the initial part of my memory, because I don't want to admit my growth, I don't want to lose a trace of nostalgia about my childhood.

As I sat on the empty bench in the park, I wished the girl had come to the appointment, but I could think of her playing with the little boy at home.

The promise I once made can only be confessed and revealed without pretense at this moment, and it is my most sincere blessing to smirk helplessly.

I still remember the night when I just graduated from college, I met you and your boyfriend at the door of the supermarket where we often passed by, and I kept following the two of you, moving step by step like a soulless body, until I saw you at the door of the hotel, I walked in with a smile and a smile, I sat helplessly in place with tears in my eyes, what was it like, like a part of my body was ruthlessly occupied by others, thinking that the whole world had abandoned me and left me in a dark corner, It made me know exactly how blind I am.

When I got home, I called you desperately, and called your girlfriend after you told me that I was blacklisted, and your girlfriend scolded me on the other side of the phone, and I happily said that she scolded well, and finally your girlfriend began to sympathize with me.

After all, you are my first love, after all, love can make people laugh like a drug addict, and it can also hurt so much that you want to die when you quit drugs.

You never thought that I would show everything one day in the future, just as I didn't think that the past would lose to fiction and lose you.

I am a storyteller, and I have said to myself many times that those scenes do not exist, they are fictional, and I have long since found witnesses to testify for me, but all the subconscious in my inspiration comes from my own life.

In the same way, the story has to come from my own efforts to show the premise of the text, and when I told my friends in Shijiazhuang that I wanted to be a writer, everyone laughed at it, maybe they felt that it was too far away.

I still remember the first time I wrote an article about a model who was my best friend in Beijing and the person who told me how realistic Beijing is, but at the time I thought to myself that she couldn't get out.

Later, I witnessed the ups and downs of her life, coupled with my own experience, that I completely believed what she said.

has been drifting in the Beijing modeling industry for four years, from being bullied at the beginning to being subjected to various unspoken rules later, perhaps these are not the only ones she has experienced.

I feel sorry for her, but I can't help her, it's a feeling of helplessness and incompetence, although our relationship is only to be good friends, but I can empathize with the pain, I can understand.

In the second year of my trip to Beijing, she went back to her hometown to get married, and her husband's family was rich, so she drove her BMW every day and worked as an air conditioner in the office.

She told me that she thinks that her current life is to spend her time in vain, and she will have a child after a while, and she will be a full-time nanny for her child at home at that time, but it makes me feel that this is not happiness but a bird imprisoned in a fixed cage, unable to fly out but helpless, this is not the life I want, no matter how unwilling I am, I can't change anything.

I thought about it for a long time, but I didn't know how to comfort her, and if it could make her change her mind, she wouldn't have called me to tell me.

In the face of the past, what can be vividly shown is not that he is growing up continuously, but that he completely buries himself in the sense of insignificance after walking the crowd.

Who is constantly shooting at my life in the back, asking me to surrender to the training ground before I have time to go to war, and to live out the stubbornness that everyone keeps shouting.

The gorgeous lights reveal a dim back, and in the alley leading to the side of the road, floats the unfulfilled dreams of many people who are fighting for it.

If you close your eyes now, will those dreams still come back to you? It shouldn't be, it should have been integrated into different lives and forgotten for a long time.

The stars in Shijiazhuang at night are always very dim, if you wear black clothes, you can blend in the space of the night, but I like white, I want to show a difference to find a sense of existence.

Just like at the beginning of the article, I wanted to write a little more life-like, and now I have begun to drift towards the literary style, in fact, I have never felt that I am a literary and artistic young man, but a person who is so vulgar that it can no longer be vulgar.

Back to reality, I have met a lot of seniors who have helped me over the years, because of their tolerance, I have continued to improve and grow.

I am the kind of person who is stubborn in my heart, working in one place, first of all, the management should not be so strict, and I can't stand the kind of leadership that forcibly twists the command of my own personality.

Maybe it's not too good for my growth, but having a good working atmosphere is something I particularly mind.

To this day, I don't know what the core concept of the position of copywriting planning is, I only know that all the content is popular, all industries are popular at the same time, what copywriting or activities the leader needs, etc., I just need to go to Baidu to search for a bunch of them, and then on this basis, the content will be roughly changed, and a perfect planning draft is completed, in fact, to put it bluntly, this kind of work as long as there is a little framework in the mind in the office can sit people can be competent.

I was spending my days opportunistically in this way, until I felt that my life would be over sooner or later if I continued like this, so I started my own writing path.

In fact, everyone has an innate talent lurking in their body, and you don't realize it because you are too comfortable with the present life and have lost your purpose for the future.

But you must also know clearly that if you want to be a well-known office worker who earns about 10,000 yuan a month, you will always be in a tepid state of life if you throw away your monthly expenses.

If you have a dream, you have to fight, while you are still young. Like Lao Zhang, even he didn't expect that he, a hairy boy who graduated from a technical school and went to work at the grassroots level of the railway, would never worry about spending money in the future because of an opportunity.

In fact, what we lack is not opportunity, but courage, how many people erase what they want to do in their thoughts, and they don't even have the courage to try.

I will definitely regret that I have had so many regrets that even I have scolded myself many times.

And now I dragged myself unwillingly for two years, one of which the articles I wrote were ruthlessly destroyed, and the articles I wrote in the year were expected to be published one day in the future.

It's really not too young, this may be my last dream, and I want to make it happen without regrets.

It's the end of December now, there is light snow outside, there are 53 days before the New Year, it's not so much the New Year, it's better to go home for a reunion dinner and look at the Spring Festival Gala mobile phone fiddling with the activities of e-commerce, if you are busy at work, class reunions can be directly omitted.

In this way, watching the pressure replace the joy of childhood, the busy work replacing the long vacation of childhood, and all we have left is a smile on the wine table and perfunctory kind greetings from friends and family.

So only now do I understand how helpless the loneliness in S.H.E's "I don't want to grow up" is, and maybe what makes me even more helpless is that I am too small.

While time is passing little by little, what you can do is to try to make yourself as happy as possible, and it is better to force a smile than to hold all the troubles in your heart and end up depressed.

On the second day of the Lunar New Year last year, there was an old man in his 60s who hanged himself, and the next day everyone concluded that he died of depression, and he was divorced three and a half years ago, and his children did not go home to visit him during the New Year.

There is a new café on the sixth floor of the square, and I like it very much, because a cup of milk tea for 30 yuan can allow me to sit there alone for an afternoon.

If there's something that reminds you of a person, then milk tea reminds me of Jiajia.

When we were fifteen years old, we had a crush on each other, and before the liking disappeared, our most ambiguous gesture was to hold hands twice.

Her family runs a supermarket, she asked me what I like to eat, I can't tell, she asked what I like to drink, I can't say, and then she secretly moved out a box of fragrant milk tea from her storeroom to me, because it was Jay Chou who advertised milk tea in the current dialect, she knew that I liked Jay Chou's songs, but I never knew what it had to do with liking what he endorsed, and I wasn't gay.

I drank a box of milk tea in a week, and people moved another box to me, asking me to send pictures every day to prove that I drank it, and finally when she was looking for a boyfriend, she still moved a box of milk tea to wish me happiness in the future.

Let me think she will find a boyfriend in the future to give other people milk tea to drink, I saw her a few days ago, she has grown taller, her body is very well-proportioned, and her face is much better than before, I guess she has long forgotten what happened between us.

But that's how it should be when you grow up, one experience after another, and then forget one by one, and when you get married and have children, you are so stressed that you don't have time to think about it.

In this snowy winter, it doesn't seem so cold because of these memories, and I don't know what will happen in the future on different streets of the city, but even if it did, it wasn't a TV set, and no one could help you record it.

It's like a snowflake falling to the ground, it's not so beautiful, is it because I didn't hold a pair of warm palms, I will sneer at the happiness of others, but in fact, I am envious.

Because of his strong self-esteem, he refuses to express his inner thoughts easily, so he always asks for hardships like this.

When I was in junior high school, I always carefully recorded the words of some great people in my notebook, and I would read them every day, thinking that they were very powerful, but now I know that it is just their life, not that hard work can be easily copied.

When people distance themselves from each other, they will feel that they are self-aggrandized, at least sometimes they feel that they are so arrogant, and at the same time distinguish between superiority and inferiority, and each is half.

This should be nothing, if you don't even notice a little bit of your own progress, how can you still have the motivation to move forward.

In the face of the road down step by step, we are not wrong, but we have seen more clearly how to look at tomorrow is right, who dares to say that he does not have a snot and a cracked eye.

My eyes began to hurt, because I hadn't slept all night, and with it came some tired brain cells, obviously unable to use my hands to type words on the keyboard, but I still had to sit in a daze, in the name of trying to fight hard.

I kept tightening the rope tighter and tighter, and I didn't want to untie it no matter how painful it was, because the thought of my mother's smiling eyes made me feel that everything was worth it.

The nightclub seems to be my only place to vent, the rhythm of the beating eardrums, the fluttering young lady, and the blending of water and milk.

You know, that's not all, but when I took the microphone, I was deliberately laughing louder to get people's attention, pretending not to care about drinking the non-bubble vodka and shouting out the window at a speeding car.

Let me release, the plot is that there is no specific order of heat, and the hypocrites who smoke a big cigarette may not be as happy as me, and at the same time that my clothes are stripped off layer by layer, I know that I am drunk.

Now that you're drunk, forget about ordinary people's minds and enjoy your intoxicating mind.

I pray that the sun will shine brighter when I wake up than it is today.