Chapter 9 Never Like a Play
All the lights are turned off, and at the last moment of the plot, there is no going back to yesterday.
No matter how reluctant you are to turn the last page of the paper, all the stories will begin to dissipate in all directions at the moment of putting them down, until they are gone, and the feeling will no longer be pain, but the nature after numbness.
When it is understood that some things are priceless, the crowd has dispersed all the reluctance. The alcohol I drank last night had all been integrated into my blood, and sometimes I even thought that my blood was not hot and red, but had been washed with alcohol. If you use it to water the delicate and delicate years, will it muddy everyone's sight, and at the same time cover all the tender green that you see in your sight.
The temperature as far as the eye can reach has begun to become eerie and cold, and many times, just wanting to be alone for a while, yes, beginning to become no longer afraid of loneliness, but accustomed to the peace that loneliness brings. Holding on to the shore and not looking down at the water mirror is embarrassed, afraid that the faith that will be remembered will be broken.
I know first-hand how the fragile and fragile heart can make people tired when they grow up, withered and withered wildflowers float in the water, swooping towards the end of life, and I don't know who to ask for the reason for life and the definition of death.
Fading, beginning to blur and fade, everything about you is gradually forgotten like a dream after closing your eyes, if there is an omen, lying on the bed without wanting to move your body one more step should be the best warning.
No one had ever seen a fragment of fragments, pieced together little by little, with the smell of choking glue, and wait a minute, if you swallowed your tears after pretending to ignore them, would it be a cruel thing, just with this cruel curse that you shouldn't be uncontrolled by emotions after the impulse has passed.
The saddest thing in the world should be in everyone's heart, I stabbed a little frog looking up at the stars in my right calf, and used it to set off the superfluous colors that are about to be forgotten by time. Unable to step out of the circle and touch another perfect world, indulge in the endless cycle of the past, if this is all that A Midsummer Night's Dream cannot come true, puncturing the sphere condensed by the huge curtain with spikes is the final struggle.
Fortunately, there is no taste, there is no need to deliberately wear long pants to hide, but fortunately I like to wear white pants, which can fully set off its confusion in the face of arrogance and the world. This kind of me, you must have hated the current me very much in the past, and you didn't even have the emotion to speak.
I have been bound by the truth around me to the point of being powerless to struggle, and when I can't see the light of hope, I begin to feel that there is no hope anymore, trapped in the same place and struggling endlessly, my hands are already calloused, my eyes are full of bloodshots, and I have compromised on the path that my subconscious has chosen.
The framework expressed is still moving towards pessimism, and to be honest, if you average it according to the proportion of the day, it has never been more than ten minutes to be happy.
Trampling the only soft part imaginable with my little toes, I was still indulging in the bombardment of the song's bass until I saw the shadow whispering to the projected light. My ears, which were starting to become uncoordinated, were the softest parts of myself I could think of, and if I were to lose my balance one day, I would have collapsed.
Everyone says that all rules exist to be broken, and since you can't really find the truth in them, why can't you be hasty, just like a child will only use one way to solve a problem without turning around, it can be simpler, even if it is not right, it can be repeated after failure.
Spring is changeable, like the attitude of the rich expressions on the faces of lovers, and you don't know at what point it will suddenly cool down by 20°C.
Thinking is you, thinking is me, standing on the edge of the handover between you and me, a few of them are twisted by scars, like a small hill of the universe that I am not dead and is still fanning the flames, it is being wantonly destroyed by me, even if it is me who is really hurting.
Going around, the meaning of going around itself should be torture, even if the two will be together in the end, but the sadness experienced in it is enough to make the most beautiful years ruthlessly wasted. The whole time of the twenty-three-year-old is empty, and I am constantly acting out stories that seem absurd but are actually extremely boring on the back and forth trajectory with you.
It's been so long, and I still miss you very much, and hate you even more. I'm still so stingy when I say this, but I'm always so stingy as a big man, but in the face of feelings, we should all be fair, I really want to ask you when I'm drunk, why did you break into the life of "people like me" at that time, and ruthlessly abandoned me after becoming embarrassed, making me feel that my life has become meaningless, and I even thought about dying during that time. When I talked to my friend about this topic that day, he quickly deflected it for me, saying that everyone thinks of death at some stage, and this is not only a definition, but also a fluid trend for every growing teenager.
When will I sit back on that bad boy and ignore all emotions to the end, so that I can continue to haunt you. Love is a song, love is a word, and the only love song you can't understand is to look at the lyrics.
No love will crown one's ignorance. He was a soldier, and it was a talent not to have freedom. He said that he had talked about a lot of lovers, and when he got drunk, he said that they were all online dating, and they broke up after chatting. He asked me if it was sad that I was thirty years old, and I was still mentioning the word online dating, and I said that pickled girls are regardless of age.
He said that he felt that his life was almost like this, and when he got to a certain age, he married a woman who was favored by his family, and he just had a bad life, but he grew up so much that he didn't really experience the taste of love.
When I talked about his first love, she smiled and said, what kind of first love is that, so she held hands, and didn't answer the kiss, saying that she would wait, but she knew that she would end up waiting and waiting.
He is the son of the village chief's family, the family has money, he is an honest man, he has been friends for more than ten years, and he has never lied. Maybe this world will not compromise with honest people, and it will not favor good luck in favor of you just because you are an honest person.
We drank so much that night that we couldn't hold it anymore, and I sat on the balcony couch looking at the tall buildings outside with dazzling lights, and I pointed to the top floor and said that I would sit in a helicopter and pee in front of it, and let it know that it was not charming and invulnerable.
To be honest, I'm not a person who takes the emotions of friends too seriously, but the reluctance when the two separated that day didn't go away for a long time, probably because there were too few true friends.
All the elements of the world are like those rocks that keep falling, and they will surely show their soft side after calming down, even if it is a diamond worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
If you haven't cried in the night, maybe you can't feel love anymore, and even if you give up the whole city to your palm at this time, you won't feel content.
The most terrible thing is to lose the ambition of faith, to set sail alone and not find the right direction, and never to look for the wrong cause and repeat the same mistakes in a cycle. I knew I had been in a trance for too long, whether I would be able to bridge the chasm before I was formally judged.
In the face of these, there is no other choice is the best choice, all that can be done is to take a deep breath and grasp the withered straw before sinking into the vortex, and grasp the lifeline to extend to the end.
The future I had prayed for was all in vain at one point, and the stubborn stain visible to the naked eye had become inexhaustible, and I wanted to reconcile with them, but the answer was abandonment. Later, I frantically inhaled the void again and again, and the void hole expanded to the point that it was difficult to heal, and who could tell me how to restore the brain that had lost its mind and was indifferent.
Do we need a reason to find someone to fill the loneliness, clinging to the sheets with our fingers intertwined, as if we want to blend into each other's bodies, to prove that our spiritual world is not empty?
After disguise, you will feel that everything is beautiful, as long as you don't deliberately pierce the barrier that is not as thick as the spider web, the lost soul freely wanders on the edge of rebellion, there is no end, no starting point, unruly, indulgent and uninhibited.
I have even forgotten the rhythm of whether my mother's lullaby, which I haven't heard for a long time, will it re-enter my eardrums one day, and the last time I was hugged by her, it seems that I have long forgotten when it was.
Lying in the car seat, I opened the skylight and stared at the sky with only a few stars, and the ignorance in my eyes was so sincere, and then I was lost in the endless sky.
Sometimes I think that the greater the pressure on myself, the greater the future if I fail, it will be a catastrophe, and if it continues, will it be counterproductive, but the sense of correct judgment that can be made at an immature age is too weak, and all the good words and persuasions of others feel that they are going to an ordinary road.
Those who are blind to everything because they are serious about pursuing their own desires, let me envy the ups and downs from the bottom of my heart, they say that those who dare to compare with the sky will eventually become God, which is the origin of the word God.
Perhaps the seemingly calm mirror image will make people feel relaxed, when the hidden power is completely there is a precursor to collapse, imagine the next person struggling when they are burned by the fire, like the end of the self-struggle after all the injuries.
There is no word in this world that can perfectly describe the pain of being tortured by myself, and the beautiful scenes in the movies never happen to the vast majority of people, which I knew long before I was eighteen. By the way, I realized that there was nothing that could be explored, and it was eventually forgotten. I just habitually recorded it in the diary, inadvertently flipped it up, wrote it down casually, and a series of random actions ran through my personal helplessness.
It seemed that there was really nothing left to lose, only this body swaying and struggling from side to side, and I tried to pretend that I didn't care, but if I hadn't lost it, I wouldn't have fallen here.
When I thought I was making progress, I realized that I had gone too far on the wrong path of life, and there was nothing wrong with the time I had wasted, at least I was enjoying life as I wanted, but at this moment, there are not many opportunities for you to miss it.
There's so much restlessness in the summer temperatures. Faith that has deviated from course is heard shattering in the chaos. The body that shook wantonly after drinking was like feeling the end coming. The opposite of selfishness is not necessarily selfless.
Always take pleasure in boring words.,Only contentment will not have so many worries.,Or so-comforted myself.,This seemingly cool everything is more like a clown who tries to express himself in the eyes of others.,It's extremely funny.。 Tense your nerves and play a comedy game with the world, there is no right or wrong, no matter whether you win or lose, as long as you can vent the long-accumulated dissatisfaction in your heart.
Rather than spending too much time feeling uncomfortable, take out a few glasses of whiskey in the fridge, smoke a lady's cigarette and enjoy the sweet taste, play Hyuna's latest album on a loop, and if you can't find the best answer, enjoy the thrill of falling into the spirit.
If you are really tired, don't look up at the sky anymore, lean down and look at the ground, there are so many joys that are constantly gathering together, if you catch them with your arms, you will find that these have far exceeded what you are after.
Focus, make yourself the focus of many places, just like your unique name, exaggeration is the focus, don't pay attention to what they are discussing, judging will only show that you are a controversial future.
You can fend off each attack with the words you express, or you can continue to extend the depravity to the oblivion of those who look down on you, the mottled colors of innocence are long gone, and continuing to dwell in them will not do you any good.
You can see the heart in my body that has long been torn to pieces, but you can't see the tears that have been wiped away for the last time, and the angel has crossed his hands properly on his chest and promised that those who have passed away will one day slowly rise in the dust, gather under the clouds, and scatter the earth with the light cast by the sun.
Walking down a bustling street with a lot of people, there will always be someone in a situation similar to yours.
It's not supposed to be a game life, because it's never been like a play. It should be understood that it is the age to think about how to feel secure.