(a)

I thought you were the simplest girl I've ever seen, but I didn't expect me to be deceived by your illusion, you smoked, drank, clubbed, cocked your ass and let people slap it, I smiled and said to myself: "You are not wrong, it is the fault of your friends around you, it is the fault of this pompous society, it is you who choose to degrade yourself, it is you who perfunctory the people around you who care about you the most, and you sink yourself." ”

I feel sorry for you, but this distress is so redundant in your eyes.

I'm worried about you, I'm afraid that you'll end up with no way out, but you just laugh and shake your head and say I'm naïve.

I cover you up and don't want to see pictures of you being greeted by different men with hypocritical smiling faces at bars every day.

I never felt like a good person, I even thought those depraved women were so cute, the naked flesh in the bar seduced my most primitive desires, stimulated by accompaniment and alcohol, even if there was no tomorrow, today I want to let myself do as I want. It's because I know everything so well that you're the last person I want to see.

I'm a forgetful person.,It's only recently discovered.,Last night's WeChat message to a friend.,Later, I accidentally scratched it to delete.,From waking up in the morning and lying in bed for five minutes to start recalling.,Take a bath for ten minutes to start recalling.,Get dressed for four minutes to start recalling.,But I can't remember what it is.,In the end, I had to stop it.。

Forgetfulness may be innate, but I have always refused to face it. But the memory of a person has been with me for half a century. It was when I was in elementary school, and I didn't know much about the relationship between men and women at that time, so that at my current age, when I pass by the gate of the community every day, I look at the elementary school students who are only as tall as their legs, holding hands one by one, and occasionally I can see the two of them KISS, which makes me smirk and shake my head, maybe it's envy.

When I was in the second grade of elementary school, I sat in the huge classroom every day, looking at the slender Chinese teacher, and I couldn't tell what it felt like, I just thought it was beautiful, and what other feelings I felt, but I couldn't say what it was. Therefore, I am more biased, and I can score more than 80 points in the Chinese test every time, and the others are just passed.

When I was in the third grade, there was a transfer student named Bai Lingyao. At that time, a new classmate was a national treasure, and the most important thing was that this national treasure was still a girl, so it was even more welcome. But the most surprising thing for me was that we were at the same table.

At that time, I was a particularly shy type, the kind that would make me feel embarrassed when I met a neighbor on the road, and I walked low and walked quickly. And Bai Lingyao is the opposite, the ponytail is up to the waist behind her back, the dimples under the face of the melon seeds are particularly charming, her neck is very long, her skin is very white, and she will take the initiative to say hello to everyone she knows on the road, in short, she is the kind of person I want to see all the time.

There may be a kind of talent that is innate, for example, most boys don't know how to express themselves when they see beautiful girls, so they mainly bully, but I have become the flower messenger, whenever someone plays tricks on her, I will fight back like protecting my sister. I don't know what it is, but it feels like an innate responsibility.

Over time, we became best friends. It's good that I haven't held hands once since I graduated from elementary school, it's nothing more than having a meal together at noon, copying her homework, and making an appointment to play a little game together on the weekend. Now that I think about it, it turns out that men and women can really have a very simple friendship after a short period of time.

When she was in junior high school, her dad drove a taxi in the city, and she and her mom followed, and from that point on, we had no contact.

Our post-95 children live on the tail of the smartphone era, they don't know what QQ is when they go to elementary school, and they only know the existence of QQ when they are in junior high school, but even so, it was not too popular at the time, and many people scattered, and they may really not be there.

Although she went to the city, her grandfather stayed in his hometown, and the lives of all two people were not missed here.

But even so, it has been eleven years since we met again. The moment the two looked at each other, they were complete strangers in each other's eyes, and her father took the initiative to greet me, saying that I looked very much like my father, and I was stunned for a moment before I remembered, and my eyes were full of happy smiles.

I don't know how big the world is, but my house is no more than two kilometers away from her house, and their family will come back to see and stay for a few days every time they celebrate the New Year, and it is eleven years to miss it all at once, which is really incomprehensible.

The two of us looked at each other like this, trying to find a sense of familiarity, but after all, the naivety of those years was no longer there at this moment, and the feeling of familiarity and strangeness seemed to be the first time we looked at each other.

In my eyes, she is still the little girl who was protected by me back then, but she hasn't seen her for a long time, and she has become more beautiful.

Over the years, she has always suddenly appeared in my memory, and how many times I can only smile helplessly and tell myself that it was when I was a child.

Later, I took her to my house, and we watched TV and chatted with melon seeds, and I felt as if she had changed. Also, I haven't seen it for so many years, if you still want to be as stupid as before, isn't there something wrong with your brain.

But I always felt like she was deliberately hiding something from me, but I couldn't say what it was.

After dinner, I sent her home, on the way my eyes always involuntarily stared at her side face, always felt that her reappearance was very unreal, made me feel how time passed so quickly, like a dream I couldn't grasp, just met, tomorrow will be separated. Fortunately, with the new contact information, I won't have to worry about waiting for another eleven years for the moment of turning around.

Since that day, we have been in constant contact by phone, talking about some interesting things when we were young, and the distance between the two of us has been much closer in these young memories.

After graduating from junior high school, she went to a secondary school, learned preschool education, and became a teacher directly after graduation, and her future dream is to open a kindergarten and become a principal.

My dream was to become a singer in the future, and although every time I sang in my bedroom, my mother complained that I was not singing at all, but memorizing texts, but I always felt that she was jealous of my talent, even if she was my mother.

(b)

Don't judge the girl's fashion concept easily, what's wrong with the two holes on the lips, nose and ears, you don't like it because you don't like it, and you don't deserve the beauty of others.

Ling Yao's life has not changed because of my appearance, and she lives her own colorful life in her own world.

Be a good girl during the day, play with a group of children at school, go out with your sisters at night to drink, sing, sleep, and a man with extra money, so happy.

In addition to cosmetics, there are also women's cigarettes and condoms, and there are two Yuting levonorgestrel tablets in the small zipper on the side, which are used as a precaution.

A few colorful wigs are to hide her innocent face, the off-the-shoulder top is to attract the attention of strangers, and the tattoos on it record a picture of her fantasy.

There are a few gray scars on the legs, which were caused by a drunk fall, although she is carefully smearing the essential oil that fades the scars every day, but the effect does not seem to be too ideal, and only she knows how many weight loss drugs the slender body carries.

In a villa in the east district of Shijiazhuang Bridge, Ling Yao just painted meticulous makeup, laughing with her sisters about how that man couldn't do it yesterday, and he went to the bathroom to take a shower in embarrassment before three minutes, leaving himself alone to watch TV in a daze, and finally his hands trembled when he transferred money on WeChat, and the password was entered a few times before he counted it, if I hadn't scolded two sentences, it was estimated that I could lose an hour.

Yaqin, who was chatting on the Internet with dyed hair, covered her mouth and said with a smile: "You should have lost two more zeros in the back while he was trembling." ”

Ling Yao sighed: "It's really not that I look down on him, I estimate that even losing one more zero will show that the balance is not drunk, a poor boy who pretends to be a big sum, it's really pitiful." After speaking, he quickly snatched Yaqin's mobile phone and ran to the side, reading the content of the WeChat chat in his mouth: "My dear, I bought you your favorite red diamond ring, come to me for dinner in the evening, there is a red envelope below, tell me honestly, how much money is in it." ”

Yaqin chased after her, and the other sisters also came up to join in the fun after hearing this, and before she caught Ling Yao, she was picked up by her sisters and thrown on the bed for interrogation, Ling Yao turned off the mobile phone screen, put her hands behind her back, and walked slowly to the bed, her eyes squinted with a smile, and said gently: "Qinqin, Qinqin, people were going to kiss just now, and they also posted a nude photo of being taking a bath, and the figure is called that, how to say it." ”

After hearing this, Yaqin hurriedly ran up from the bed and ran towards Ling Yao, Ling Yao threw the mobile phone on the bed, and the sisters rushed to get the mobile phone to watch, and when they saw the screen that was already black, they already knew what was going on.

Ling Yao followed behind Yaqin, and at the moment when Yaqin climbed into bed, Ling Yao pounced from behind, and roared in her mouth: "Sisters, come on, dismantle this little goblin." ”

Laughter filled every corner of the villa, which was shared by several people, each with a key, and they thought of it as a place where they could come and rest at any time.

Ling Yao's addiction to smoking started in junior high school, and after arriving at the school in the city, she found that no matter how hard she studied hard, she couldn't keep up with the progress of the teacher's lectures.

The girl sitting in the back row was not good at studying, and she had a bad atmosphere when she played with her mobile phone in class, and Xue Ling was a little scared, afraid that they would bully her.

But what happened next was completely different from what she thought, the girls welcomed her very much, did not treat her as an outsider at all, and shared their secrets with her while eating snacks.

Indeed, it's too difficult for the good to learn, and the bad one will learn, Xue Ling secretly chatted with a few of them when she was in class, and when she met the teacher who looked good, she directly skipped class and went to the game hall outside to play, and ran back to the dormitory to sleep when she was tired of playing.

At first, their dormitory was divided, and a few people scraped together some money, went to the market to buy a small bed for Ling Yao and put it in the spare space at the door of the dormitory, nominally still in that dormitory, but in fact they may not go back once a week.

The smoke drifting at night made Ling Yao very uncomfortable, and the girl closest to Ling Yao handed her a cigarette and asked her to learn to smoke, saying that it was quite refreshing, but it turned out to be several years after smoking.

(c)

Can you believe it? Every girl will have a few boys around her, whether she is beautiful or not.

There are a lot of Ling Yao, who can really be regarded as loving with their hearts, and there seem to be so many of them, Ling Yao rolled over the sheets with them, and continued to return to her life the next day. What about love, can it last? Can it be eaten as a meal?

I know that there is no such thing as love at first sight, only the emptiness of the heart that has been planned for a long time. If Ling Yao is ugly, can there be so many boys who say they want to treat her well?

After graduating, I followed my dream trajectory and went to Beijing to work as a matter of course, two different cities with completely different rhythms of life, and inadvertently cut off contact with Ling Yao. And Ling Yao continued to go around in her circle until one day she called me and said that she was getting married.

I didn't believe it, I asked several times to make sure that she didn't joke with me anymore, the marriage partner is a rich second generation, really rich, and my father is playing real estate in Shijiazhuang.

A week later, I went to their wedding scene and experienced the way rich people get married, drinking red wine and eating abalone.

The groom is so fat and ugly, and standing with Ling Yao is completely the original version of Beauty and the Beast.

When Ling Yao mentioned me during the toast, the groom raised his glass high and said to me with a smile: "Xiao Xu, I heard Ling Yao mention you, if you have any difficulties in Shijiazhuang in the future, speak directly, Ling Yao's friend is my friend, don't be polite." ”

This is a promise I have heard from him to countless people from afar. I smiled and nodded, saying perfunctorily, my eyes fixed on Ling Yao, trying to find a little uneasiness on her face, but there was no clue. I was disappointed, where are the flowers planted in cow dung, and cow dung is stronger than this ugly bridegroom.

After the banquet, the groom was busy greeting his group of fox friends and dogs, and put Ling Yao aside. Taking advantage of no one, I grabbed Ling Yao's arm and pulled it into a private room that had long since ended.

Before she could speak, I frowned, pointed into her eyes and asked, "Can you tell you what this is about?" Wouldn't you have nightmares when you sleep at night? Are you in the eyes of money, how old are you to abuse yourself so badly? ”

Ling Yao opened my fingers, picked up the glass with wine left on the table and sprinkled the alcohol on my face: "Say, go on, I got married today, you just came to humiliate me, right?" Do you really know me? What qualifications do you have to say about me here. ”

I turned around and knocked over the table next to me and yelled angrily: "I don't know you, do you think I really don't know you?" You don't know what you've been doing every day all these years, and what kind of rotten life you've lived every day. Even though I know this, I still think of you as a stupid girl in school, and I lie to myself that you are not wrong, it is the fault of your friends, and it is the fault of this pompous society. I'm curious how I know, right, you can be seen in a nearby blog post on Weibo from far away being held by a man in a nightclub. ”

Ling Yao kept nodding and looking at me, and said in a low voice, "What do you think you are, does what I do has anything to do with you?" Is it in your eyes, I smell dirty all over my body, look at what kind of eyes you have, pity me, you don't deserve it. ”

After saying that, he turned around and walked out, leaving me alone in the room to cycle everything that had just happened, and the tears were still there for some reason.

The next day, I returned to my hometown, and in the afternoon, I walked to the entrance of the elementary school with my uncompetitive thighs, and looked at the children who seemed to be running with all their strength.

There are too many images of my childhood looping in my head, and I can't stop, but I just need to look down at their height to remind me that I can't go back to the past.

Finally, he took out his mobile phone and sent a text message to Ling Yao: No matter what happens in the future, I feel like follow me, don't hold on alone, even if the sky falls, I can help you top it.

Within three minutes, I received a text message reply: I, I know, I will tell you something in the future, my good brother, I have never regarded you as an outsider.

(iv)

Life is a big gamble, don't say you're not a gambler. Open your eyes and see how many scars have been left on your body, will you still miss the entrainment story?

The man who married Ling Yao was named Zhu Hao, and he was a well-known paranoid in the circle. On the one hand, he has a docile personality, and with his belly, he looks like the boss of the group no matter how you look at it. On the other hand, he is self-respecting, he does whatever he wants, and never thinks about the consequences, even if he breaks into a big disaster, someone will clean up the mess for him behind his back.

At a dinner, someone jokingly said to Zhu Hao, the first woman I met in a nightclub today, if you dare to marry home, how about we give you five million each?

Everyone could hear that this was just a drunken joke, but Zhu Hao took it seriously. Ling Yao was a bargaining chip in his life, very heavy, and won worth 20 million.

When Zhu Hao and a group of people just entered the nightclub, they happened to meet Ling Yao who was talking at the door, Zhu Hao didn't say a word, took out a large diamond ring and knelt down to propose, Ling Yao was so shocked that he almost dropped his mobile phone on the ground, and then looked curiously at the seven or eight sons and daughters in front of him who looked like rich people, pointed to himself and asked in a low voice: "Is he talking to me?" ”

Several people smiled and nodded, and Ling Yao turned around and ran into the house in the next second, leaving the embarrassed Zhu Hao and the few people laughing.

For people like them, it is too simple to know a person's background, and afterwards Zhu Hao directly contacted the person in charge of the nightclub and learned about Ling Yao's family situation through monitoring and investigation.

My father drives a taxi, my mother doesn't know anything, she usually does manual work at home, and she has a younger brother who is in elementary school. As for Ling Yao, a woman who mingles in the wind and snow every day, he didn't pay attention to it at all.

When we are faced with some things, we really have no choice, only passive acceptance.

Ling Yao would definitely not agree to Zhu Hao's vexatious troubles at the beginning, no matter how much money she needed, she knew that she had a few catties and taels, and it was impossible for her to have a free meal delivered to her door.

Zhu Hao is naturally not the kind of person who stops, and on the basis of threatening Ling Yao's family, Ling Yao agreed.

During that time, Ling Yao really felt helpless, and everything was completely beyond her bearing.

She locked herself in a small dark room by herself, yelling at the music coming out of her mobile phone, she could maintain her thin figure without using diet pills, and even thought about jumping directly from the balcony on the seventeenth floor. She couldn't figure out how such a strange thing could happen to her.

(5)

Less than a week after marriage, Ling Yao enjoyed the taste of being alone in an empty room, Zhu Hao would come back to see it in the evening for a few days, and then he went out directly on the front foot and did not return on the back foot, and only Ling Yao and a few nannies who seemed to be very busy every day were left in the empty villa.

Half a month later, Zhu Hao went home with a lawyer and asked Ling Yao to sign a divorce agreement, telling Ling Yao that as long as she signed it, she could get a huge sum of five million.

Ling Yao looked at Zhu Hao, who hurriedly entered the door with a stranger without a word of greeting, and a ridiculous divorce, so angry that he passed out directly to the ground without scolding.

Zhu Hao looked at the woman in front of him without the slightest hesitation, but the lawyer stepped forward with the red stamp mud, picked up Ling Yao's thumb and pressed it, and after three consecutive minutes of documents, he looked at the nanny who had been looking at the side eyes, but did not dare to say a word, and said in a low voice: "Let Lao Li drive to the hospital, and when she wakes up, tell him that I transferred five million to her bank card, and it has nothing to do with it from now on, if she wants to find trouble, I will accompany her to the end." ”

After speaking, he turned around and walked out of the door of the villa, which had been open, leaving the nanny who hurriedly took out his mobile phone to call the driver.

When Ling Yao woke up, it was already night, lying on the hospital bed full of the smell of disinfectant, the black skirt she wore during the day had been changed into a blue and white striped hospital gown, and there was a woman in her 40s who seemed to be a little familiar with her, and she took a closer look, it was the nanny who had been with her in the villa for nearly half a month.

The nanny told this Ling Yao what Zhu Hao had said, and after speaking, she looked at Ling Yao with a look of pity in her eyes, choked up and said, "He also gave you a lot of money, if you can, just pass it as a nightmare." I don't mean to persuade you, and I don't have the tendency to help him speak, you can't fight him, even if you call the police, it's useless, the police don't have anything to do about this kind of marriage, not to mention a powerful family like Zhu Hao, basically hitting a stone with an egg, and it has no effect. ”

After saying that, he stood up and covered the quilt that had slipped a little, said goodbye, and walked out of the room.

Ling Yao stared blankly at the window at the sky, which was already late at night, but there was still not a single star appearing. Is it supposed to be so small? Although I have long known that from the beginning of the first encounter with Zhu Hao, I have gone to a completely passive path. He was like a doll being held by Zhu Hao, and he didn't have the capital to resist, if he had something that displeased him, the consequences would be even more turbulent attacks.

Thinking about it, she unconsciously grabbed the white sheets with both hands, she didn't know where to go after dawn, what kind of attitude to use to face the next questions of her family and friends, but she also reached the point where time passed, these things could not escape.

As promised, the next thing that happened was naturally in the face of her family, Ling Yao chose to deceive, saying that Zhu Hao hid a lot of things from him before marriage, and gradually found out that it was exposed after marriage, and he filed for divorce.

Ling Yao's parents naturally didn't believe it, and shouted that they wanted to go to Zhu Hao's house to seek justice, but Ling Yao naturally refused to let her, and finally threatened her family that she was going to jump off the building, and her parents were frightened, and immediately promised that they would not pursue it again, so they pulled Ling Yao off the balcony.

(f)

When this incident passed, Ling Yao felt for the first time that money was a hundred times dirtier than her body.

But if this is the end of everything, maybe better than anything else, but who would have thought that this is just the beginning of a tragedy.

We are really driving on a one-way road that we can't look back on, and you can treat others with kindness, but this kindness will not be assimilated by others.

At this point in the story, I began to be afraid of reminiscing, and some of them didn't want to write anymore, just thinking that we would never understand why bad people's hearts are so bad.

Ling Yao's later life calmed down, and it was as quiet as a pool of stagnant water, unable to find a trace of ripples, and bottomless.

I found a customer service job, and I chatted with customers every day, although it was boring, but I was also at ease.

But in the end, it was in the stagnant water that ripples appeared, and I was a little busy working overtime that night, and when I got home, it was already past eight o'clock, and it was already very dark at eight o'clock in winter.

When I passed by the small street where I went home, there were only a few scattered people, but in an instant, the rattle was dragged into the small alley by the three masked people, and the rattle was covered with force, and one of the three masked people said in a deep voice: "Give me all your money." ”

While speaking, he also used a knife to press on the lower abdomen of the rattle, and the rattle panicked at the time, and his arms kept shaking the arm that was grabbed by the other two, and the masked popularity also came, and directly said to the left side of the moving rattle: "If you move again, I will make you bleed." ”

Maybe when people are really panicking, their sanity is not sober at all, the rattle seems not to be heard, and the next second the masked man slashed the knife on his tender white cheeks.

Rattle later said that she didn't feel any pain at all, that it felt as if water was flowing, and that by the time she found out it was blood, the three had already run away.

She ran down the street with her bleeding face covered, and finally fell to the ground with her foot crooked, and then I don't know which kind passer-by called the 120 emergency center.

Twenty-three stitches are sewn on the face, what does it mean for a young and beautiful girl?

After she woke up, she kept crying, her pupils had already lost their luster, the tears wet and inflamed the wound, she clenched her teeth, it should be painful, she didn't make a sound, she was making her eyes cry.

Family and relatives and friends are good at the bedside and keep comforting, but is it really useful to be comforted? For the parties, I really don't know.

Just do you know that I want you to be the happiest girl in the world in this world? Because you are all my childhood memories.

I was standing in the hallway, and all kinds of people walked by in front of me, what did it have to do with me? The sound of a baby crying accompanied by the joyful laughter of an adult sounded in my ears, what does it have to do with me? There is a plague in some corner of the world at this moment, what does it matter to me? Even if the entire earth is destroyed at this moment, what does it matter to me!

I just want you to jump up and call my name happily at this moment, even if it's at the cost of me lying in bed.

(g)

Three months later, Ling Yao can no longer face the scary scar on her face pessimistically.

Half angel, half demon, these are the eight words I jokingly said to Ling Yao later.

I hope that half of the angels are taking care of her all the time, and half of the demons are protecting her, because the angels are too kind for her to resist the guilt of this world.

The story is only roughly written, and I don't dare to go into detail because I feel that my heart hurts.

What exactly is the evil, and what are those who are at large trying to prove, and did the bad guys of that night later think of them slashing a beautiful girl in the face with a knife? Do you know that the image that happened in just a few minutes will stay with this girl for the rest of her life?

They probably don't know, even if every corner of their face is scratched beyond recognition with a dagger at this moment, the rattle's face will not go back to the past, I want to do that.

Are we all too vulnerable, are we too selfish, are we expecting too much from the world?

I prayed that the night would not get too dark.

People who have been hurt will also find the good side in the injured world.