In the end, the deadly eyes continued to spread and swept through the entire majestic city wall, instantly covering the endless black hole, and rushing straight into the sky with thousands of stars, if this was a war, all would be lost.

The man walked away without a trace of expression on his face, leaving only an instantly fatal look. As if from the moment I left sight, it had nothing to do with me.

From the moment the music producer and the singer started, there was no emotion, and both of them were taking what they needed for the so-called art. Wen Cun's night lingering and Qi Er's secret words are true, and what I love you is also true, even more true and emotional than couples who have been married for ten years. All the details that you can't let go of in life are commonplace for them.

In fact, I really want to know the ups and downs of the actor's feelings, how to delay the pain in the next second. That's what makes a lot of people who have been hurt jealous, is it that they have become so used to it, and in the end they become numb.

Once an arranger friend got married at the age of 26, and the two were actually quite happy after marriage. But my friend has a habit of occupational disease, and wherever he goes, he will habitually hum a melody that comes out of thin air into the mobile phone recording.

When I go shopping with my wife in the mall, I will suddenly run to a no-man's corner, take out my mobile phone and hum with my back to the crowd, completely ignoring my wife's embarrassed look and the puzzled eyes of passers-by. On the weekend when my wife was on vacation, I said that I would go to a movie and wait for half an hour to disappear. Spend an hour in the toilet at home at night, leaving my wife alone in bed.

There are many scenes that you can't imagine but are very strange, at first you can pretend not to care, but after a long time, it is always like this, and if you are a normal woman, you should not be able to stand it, and the last stop is that the two of them replaced their marriage certificate with a divorce certificate.

Wait, that's just an interlude.

In October 2015, almost two months after the beginning of autumn in Beijing, and there was still no sign of the sweltering heat being swept away, I put an album of eight songs in an underground recording studio day and night and sent it to her mailbox by email.

"My dear, I'll modify the song and send it to you, you can upload it on major music websites, find a suitable time, and let the company upload it for you," I said in a slightly disappointed tone.

"Okay, I'm bothering you this time" She on the other side had a joy that I could clearly feel.

I tried to make my tone of voice as plain as possible: "I'll treat you to one last meal."

On the other side, she paused and said unhurriedly, "Okay, for the last time." See you at the old place."

This she, I refer to Xiao An here.

The old place we are talking about is in a quiet café in the International Trade Center, because when we first met, there were always some musical details to talk to.

When I passed, Xiao An was already waiting for me. A person took a small spoon and touched the layer of cream on the surface of Macchiato's cup, I once asked her why she ordered this every time, and she reluctantly told me that she had a bad stomach and wanted to drink more milk. Bad stomach? Can the stomach burn with a glass of red wine on the wine table every time?

Sitting across from Xiao An, he pulled the cup of Macchiato in front of her and ordered pure milk for her, without waiting for her to speak. I smiled and said, "Think it's my last concern."

Xiao An rolled her eyes at me. showed a helpless expression, it was helpless, and I was used to it, after all, I was a passerby on her growth road.

"Xiao An, what are you going to do next?" I pretended to be unintentional and asked.

"Do you know why I don't have a fixed boyfriend?" She asked rhetorically something that had nothing to do with my question. I nodded, shook my head again, not sure what to say to her.

"Because I'm going to climb up, like the aroma of coffee teasing the water vapor to the sky, and they don't see the end but want to bloom at the highest point. In the same way, I can't see where my highest point is. Isn't this what youth should be, while you still have the capital to wander between dreams and reality. It's been so long, if you don't fight to the death, where are you willing to stop like this. As she said this, Xiao An did not reveal any expression on her face, as if she was talking to herself, as if I was not sitting across from her at all.

I have come into contact with a lot of artists, in fact, sometimes I envy their perfect interpretation of life, in front of a group of people, they can naturally reveal the perfect expression of the script.

Xiao An took out the cigarette in her bag, lit it, took a deep breath, and told me her story.

In fact, when he first entered the circle, Xiao An also loved someone deeply, or a scumbag. At that time, Xiao An had just come to Beijing and was very insecure. I met at the first party after signing the company, he is very good, he is one of the company's investors, and after taking the initiative to drink with Xiao An, I met like this. His name is Wang Hao. In fact, there is no love at first sight, it is just Wang Hao's affection at first sight, because the status of the two makes Xiao An have no right to say love at first sight.

Because of Wang Hao's favor, the whole company is in an uproar, and Xiao An's artist friends are very envious, saying that Xiao An will definitely rise step by step after having such a backer. Every time Wang Hao comes over to rehearse together, the dance teacher will say rest very well, run over to set almost, and after a long time, he found that he mainly came to see Xiao An, so the dance teacher was strict with everyone at the beginning, and later opened the back door to Xiao An alone. And Xiao An also enjoyed this feeling, and naturally became Wang Hao's girlfriend over time.

At the beginning, it may be that freshness is paramount, and he took the initiative to arrange a lot of program announcements for Xiao An, and contacted various film and television personnel for packaging, these resources were very important to Xiao An at that time. It can be regarded as a kind of dependence, Xiao An happily accepted it, and gave everything he could give to Wang Hao.

But this freshness only lasted for more than a month, at a company high-level party, everyone drank too much, one of the elderly Uncle Li said to Wang Hao: "This is your new girlfriend?" Pretty good. ”

Wang Hao smiled and said, "How is it?" Do you want me to borrow you to play? ”

Xiao An also drank too much at the time and didn't hear the conversation between the two clearly. At the end of the wine party, Wang Hao opened a room on the top floor of the hotel, and walked out of the room when Xiao An was taking a shower, and then Uncle Li came in.

What happened after that can be imagined, if Xiao An wants to continue on this road, he has no qualifications to resist.

The eyes surrounded by darkness are particularly hot, who dares to be willing to hand over the bottom line at this moment, even hypnosis has lost its own persistence, not to mention that the tears have been left but you can't see the color in the mirror, and you won't find that all this seems to have been changed until dawn.

This story is just the beginning, and the next Xiao An disguises all his joys, sorrows, and sorrows. Whether it is the body or the soul, many times it is passive acceptance.

Because no matter what happened today, it was just the past, and she had to look forward.

Who doesn't enjoy the dazzle of vanity? In the years of the deadline, step by step upward, even if it is unseemly, it is talked about. What does it have to do with bystanders?

In life, how many people are using green tea to attack Internet celebrities who rely on their own tops, have you ever thought that they are silently paying behind the unknown is something you can't bear in your life?

Who doesn't want to live a good life, is it the same as you are now, complaining every day that your husband is not angry, can't afford to buy LV bags, can't afford to drive a BMW, can't afford to live in a house in the city center, and can only work at two o'clock a day. In the end, he spread his temper on the Internet and attacked those who didn't know how much they had gone through before they got out.

Just by working from 9 to 6, you want to live the perfect life you want. Do you think it's ridiculous to say it? Of course, there are some such successful people, but are you one of them? If so, I don't think I have time to self-direct indifferent personal attacks on the Internet every day.

Of course, the world is as cruel as it is fair. It only takes one night to turn a girl into a woman, it only takes a few seconds for an adult to become addicted to drugs, and the police can't finish it, all we can do is to grow up quickly on the road we choose. No matter what path you choose, good or bad, how forced and helpless the process is, once it starts, there is a bottomless abyss behind it, and there is no rule or law for you to start over.

Who can see the so-called truth, above the right.

It was as if the king of beasts was fighting, and let out a final roar.

Is the truth used to hide it? Awakened after being forgotten.

Beware of death, the crowd disperses, and desire is stuck in the throat of the bone.

Whoever can't be hurt will be forgotten and dismissed from playing thousands of miles away.

If there is no thought in the heart, what can the prodigal son ask for?

In fact, in the face of fate, we are all the same, almost looking at the world in confusion, almost making the same mistakes, almost dying and living, all want to pursue another life, and in the end, we find that we are all the same.

If you are not convinced of the truth, these two words do not exist.

If you have no faith, why are you wrong?

To this day, I still vividly remember one look, the look I saw in prison. The pupils that had no light were filled with a thick mist, like resentment emanating from a lake that had been frozen for thousands of years, without a trace of warmth.

The owner of the eyes is a girl who is guilty of drug use and prostitution. It is enough for her to live a flower-like youth in a cage that does not see the light of day.

As usual, I asked her, "Do you regret it?" ”

She rubbed her nose, looked through the window at the boundless sky, and said to me emotionlessly, "Yes, but fate can make me do it all over again, and I will still be like this." The only difference is to learn to be smart, do you say that children like us who don't go to school after graduating from junior high school have any other way out? As a waiter or camper, you don't have to do repetitive things every day. I'd rather live in ancient times and have a brutal fight without rules, than spend my life so numbly. ”

Tears had already wet her haggard face, and she paused, and then said: "The only fault is sorry for the family, they are embarrassed enough to lose their brother, and now I am like this again, I really don't know how they spend every day." This kind of thing still happens in the countryside, not in a village that is as big as the two small communities in Beijing. Even celebrities who have seen the world sometimes can't stand the gossip from the outside world, not to mention that they have just been ordinary people all their lives. Sudden accidents happen every day, why do the odds of winning the lottery fall on their heads that they have worked hard for all their lives. I can't figure it out, I really can't figure it out. ”

Tears were already wet in my eyes: "Auntie, they have come to see you, right?"

She wiped the tears from her face with her hand: "Basically, I come once a month, but I refuse, I don't have the face to see them, do you know how painful that feeling is?" I don't know, you certainly don't. ”

She was close to breaking down, clutching her hair helplessly with both hands, trying to relieve a trace of mental depression with the pain of tearing.

I didn't speak, I looked at the girl across the glass with a complicated expression, and felt that there was no point in persuading her to do anything, she was already desperate for the world.

I don't even think she's done anything wrong, just a little bit of bad luck.

I just remember many nights when I was drunk and picked up the phone and it was only her who called, and eight times out of ten she would drive over and help me home drunk. While scolding the stupid people who found me, he gently patted me on the back, threw me on the bed, and then put a towel on me and cleaned me up after vomiting. In the end, I was so tired that I cried on the sofa and forgot to cover the blanket.

I heard that the more drunk you are, the more you want to be alone. That person can't be said to be a lifetime, at least the most important thing now.

The next day I woke up looking at this woman with an apologetic but happy face, and I wondered how many times I had played such a role.

She is two years older than me, and I treat her as my sister and he as my brother. is not related by blood, but it is no worse than a brother and sister who are related by blood. If I give a reason for this relationship, I look very similar to her brother who has been with her for 14 years, and his brother was stabbed to death in a fight at school, and in the end he only lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. At that time, she may have looked at this society, as long as she has money and power, what else can't she do?

When I first met, she was kind to me, and I thought she was trying to soak me. Later, at a party, she got drunk and walked down the street at half past one in the morning holding my hand and going drunk, and she didn't mean to mention it to me. I may just be a psychological sustenance for her.

And I'm willing to play that role. is very dependent on her, as if they have reached some kind of spiritual relationship with each other.

You don't say it, I don't say it, but we understand each other.

That night, we went to the convenience store and bought ham sausages and milk and threw them to stray cats.

That night, we stood in the middle of the road and stopped the car and ran away.

That night, she held my hand as if she had been held by my mother as a child.

That night, we walked from the early hours of the morning to the dawn of the sky to Tiananmen Square to raise the national flag.

That night, there may have been a lot of alcohol, and we were all happy.

Later, I went to her house to see, a very small village, even the old and the young add up to about 100 people.

Her family lived on the edge of the village, a small house, made of red bricks and mixed clay, and two lion cubs were placed at the door. The red gate was unlocked, and I crept into the yard like a thief, it was empty and clean.

The sound of the TV came from the house, and I stayed there for ten minutes, not having the courage to walk through the small door.

He put a box of fruit in his hand in the middle of the courtyard and quietly walked out of the gate.

It took less than twenty minutes before and after. It seems that the psychology that has been suppressed for a long time has finally been released. I laughed, laughed so badly that at the end of the day tears came out of my eyes.

There was fruit in the box, 60,000 in cash, and a note: Her brother who didn't have time to meet you.

There's not much I can do, but I can pay off a debt in my heart.

Perhaps her experience may not be much of a problem to the endless prison crowd. It's like the city of Beijing, where people come in every day, and people go out. Everyone who comes here keeps their own secrets and stays their own helplessness.

No matter how hateful they were, how damn they were, at least they had retained a sense of innocence to the world.

No matter how dazzling the ornament made of shells is, it is also just a mantle for mollusks at the water's edge. Speaking of animals, who can appreciate the beauty of making a taxidermy of a heart that represents life as an animal?

You think you are an elegant gentleman, you can pretend to be a tall companion in KTV and ask: "Why did you come out to do this job, with your beautiful appearance, graceful figure, and slender fingers, you can find a rich boyfriend and let him support you, why are you so tired." ”

Next, he gently took out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it, took a puff and threw it to the woman sitting next to him, making you describe such a perfect woman. Then he untied his chest tie, hugged her fiercely, and began to caress her hands up and down.

People always feel that the flesh that has been touched a thousand times is dirty, but they still have to swarm to try, never thinking that a beautiful lie behind it can instantly break all this into powder.

The whole private room is full of such men and women, the man's desire is to be physically and psychologically satisfied, and the woman's desire is to earn more money and send it to her family in the countryside, and the role is defined in this way.

Every circle has its own rules for survival, but life is the opposite of this rule, the rules are based on the right after getting rid of the shackles, but life is what we experience after leaving everything behind.

It may be quite simple to distinguish between the two, but it is complicated in that if a person really moves his true feelings.

Time pushes forward, the annual rings cover the cycle, and we will all be replaced in a hundred years.

Before that, he stood proudly in the center of the magnetic field monopolized by the emptiness and looked down.

You see the mediocrity, the busy, the noble lonely soul wandering.

The system of building the pyramids began to crack and splinter.

Who doesn't want to be remembered by the world, and who doesn't want to go through this trip to the fullest.

There is no system of barbarism, who dares to call himself king.

What is infinitely inflated is the most helpless primitive desire of human beings.

There is also the simple desire for love.