I changed my clothes and went downstairs, and saw Xiao Hai standing fixedly at the dining table, staring at a pot of freshly cooked porridge in a daze.

I asked her what was wrong.

She looked up at me and said, "With such a big house, life is pitiful, and there are no pickles and tofu in the refrigerator, and there are no dishes that can be eaten." ”

I said, "I don't usually eat breakfast at home, so I don't have any preparations. ”

She shook her head and said, "I can make it up, I can be full in any way I deal with a few bites, I don't care what you do." ”

As she spoke, her eyes still fixed on the porridge, she raised her right hand and put it to her mouth. I was startled by the thick and large thing she was holding in her hand, thinking it was a weapon, but when I looked closely, I realized that it was the French baguette she had bought when she came back the day before yesterday. With such an appetite, she was embarrassed to tell me that she could make it up, and she could be full if she dealt with it casually.

I went into the kitchen and took out a bottle of ketchup and put it on the table, then took two bowls, one of them served porridge, and sat down for breakfast facing each other.

I pointed to the ketchup and said, "Don't have pickles to deal with this first, and then drive out to buy it later." ”

She poked her face over and looked at it, telling me she couldn't eat spicy food.

I said, "This one isn't spicy, it's sweet." ”

She still had a half-yin and half-yang expression on her eyelids, and said, "I haven't heard of chili peppers and sweet." ”

I patiently explained to her that it wasn't chili, it was ketchup.

She didn't seem to believe it, or hadn't heard of it, and seemed a little dumbfounded, but obviously she didn't reject it, and stretched out her chopsticks and dipped them a little bit on the tip of her tongue, and after making sure it was really not spicy, she dipped a little more, and then a little more, as if playing a game.

I couldn't get used to seeing someone as fat as her play such a childish act in front of me, so I simply pushed the whole bottle in front of her. She unceremoniously picked it up and poured it into a bowl, turning a good bowl of white porridge into bibimbap with tomato sauce, and I didn't have any appetite at all.

She eats very quietly, there is no hula sound in her throat, and the movements of holding the bowl and putting chopsticks are also gentle and quiet, which is really rare. I feel that she has grown into such a body, and her life is hard, she should have a big temperament, she should be spicy, and she should always have a kind of open-mindedness. But she didn't, she was delicate, but quiet, and there was a special weight between her words and deeds, which seemed to be very inconsistent with her age in her twenties, which made people feel distressed when they looked at it.

While eating, she spoke, and her eyes did not look at me.

She said: "Cooking three meals a day, cleaning up and down the inside and out several times a week, washing clothes and drying quilts, is there any other work? ”

I was a little stunned at first, not knowing what she was talking about, but after a while, I realized that I had told her about hiring her as a nanny last night, so I quickly shook my head: "There is nothing else to do." ”

But after thinking about it, he immediately nodded and said, "Not necessarily, there may be something that will pop up temporarily, and this needs to be analyzed on a case-by-case basis." ”

After speaking, he added: "Of course, if you have another job, I will give you a salary increase appropriately." ”

She still ate with her head down, very slowly, until she finished one bowl and filled the second bowl and poured a large pile of ketchup into it, and then spoke again: "There are a few things, I said in front." ”

I nodded and let her speak.

She said: "I eat a lot and like to watch TV, you can't be disgusted with these two points, you can't show me your face." ”

I nodded.

"I may have my own affairs sometimes, and you have to give me time off," she said. ”

I continued to nod.

She added, "You'll have to give me another room, I don't like to sleep in your room." ”

I nodded desperately, anxious and excited, and I knew that I would agree to even if she asked me excessively. Originally, I brought up the idea of a nanny in order to keep her, so whatever she said didn't matter to me.

But she didn't ask for anything more.

So it was decided.

She ate five bowls of this breakfast, and the whole bottle of ketchup was made for her, and I was already full, so I just sat and watched her quietly, wanting to see the shadow of Uncle Xiu on her face, only the eyebrows and nose were slightly similar, it must be more like her mother, so there was less like her father.

I never found the right opportunity to ask her about her father's departure, for fear that it would be too abrupt and cause her to think too much, and I was afraid that I would touch her wounds and make her sad. Now I think she stays anyway, and there will always be a chance to ask.

For a moment, I felt like my mind went blank.

I understand what this sudden blankness means. It means that my life is going to change dramatically from this moment on, and this change is not good or bad.

I hope that life will go in a good direction.

I've suffered for so many years, and it's my turn to live a good life.

After Xiaohai finished eating the porridge, he scraped the bottom of the bowl with the remaining bread crumbs, stuffed it into his mouth, and then got up to clean up the dishes and chopsticks and went into the kitchen to wash. I followed her to help, but she kicked me out, so I leaned against the door frame and watched, and said, "We'll go to the mall to buy some daily necessities, food and drink, oh, by the way, don't you like to lie in bed and watch TV, let's buy a TV and put it in your room." ”

She floated over with her back: "What you want to buy is your business, don't think about deducting it from my salary." ”

I couldn't spit it out in my throat, and I almost choked to death.

She didn't care, she was fussy and told me she wanted the room next door to my bedroom.

I said, "No problem, that room is a guest room, everything is furnished, buy a few bedding pillows or something, and you can sleep right away." ”

But after thinking about it, I felt bad, because there was no bathroom in that room, and I had to go to the toilet either to my bedroom or to the second floor, which was inconvenient to get up at night.

I told her about the situation, and she didn't mind at all, and said, "I'm still entangled in the matter of taking a few extra steps down the stairs, and there are so many people in your city." ”

I said, "It's inconvenient after all, or I'll clean up the bedroom with a bathroom on the second floor, and replace the bed and table with a new one." ”

She said: "It's not good, I want the room on the third floor, next door to you, and there is something that can be taken care of." ”

I laughed and said, "I don't need you to take care of me, I can fight well." ”

She snorted disdainfully and said, "It's not me who takes care of you, it's for you to take care of me." ”

I was choked up again, and I said it again.

I thought about how to explain to Su Mosen if he came back, and how to explain to Xiao Hai the tense relationship between me and Su Mosen, but I thought about it, I thought about it, and suddenly I felt that it didn't matter, whether Su Mosen came back or not, and what would happen when he came back, it didn't matter. I feel that I am much braver now than I used to be, and I can face his arrogance and coldness.

It's a big deal.

I'm not as scared of him as I used to be.

After Xiaohai cleaned up the kitchen, he didn't wait for my reply, nor did he say hello, he went straight up to the third floor to clean up the guest room, I followed behind, didn't say anything, but the steps up the stairs were a little heavy, remembering many things from the past.

She walked inside, brushed open the floor-to-ceiling curtains, and the sun shone in and the dust danced all over the room. It was only then that I noticed that it was sunny today, and it was a cloudless day, and the sun was stinging people's eyes.

Xiaohai opened the floor-to-ceiling window, opened the wardrobe, opened the drawer of the desk, and asked me what to do with the contents inside, I flipped through it, and felt sad in my heart, but my face didn't show it, and told her that there were a few empty suitcases in the attic, take it and put it in the attic.

Without saying a word, she went up to the attic.

I looked at the things in the room, and my heart churned with sadness, and more fragments of the past passed through my mind.

There are only two people living in this room next door to my bedroom, one is Uncle Xiu and the other is Uncle Chen. Once upon a time, they would come every few years, for as little as seven or eight days, or as often as two or three months, and stay in this room. But now, the two best people in my life, one has passed away, the other has left, and this house has been empty for more than ten years.

The contents of the cupboards and drawers were also left behind, a few old coats, towels, cups and other household items, as well as some books on architecture, music science, pharmacology, and social psychology, and two ledgers that could not read what accounts were written, and in the ledger were a few yellowed notes with cherry blossom patterns in the lower right corner, on which the dragon flew and danced with some characters and patterns that were completely incomprehensible.

I have carefully examined everything in this room since Su Mosen's disappearance, but it does not seem to be of much help to investigate the mystery of my origin and my mother's whereabouts, nor has I been able to find any clues about Uncle Xiu, so I have not come in to see it again, and now it is covered in a thick layer of dust, and it looks old and desolate.

I stood by the door and watched for a while, went back to the bathroom of my bedroom to get a wet rag, walked to the desk, first stood quietly with my head down, then bit my lip, raised my hand, and gently wiped it down.

Where the dust had been wiped away, a few faded, yellowed, old, dim photographs were revealed beneath the glass.

Most of the old photos pressed under the glass were from when I was a child, some of them were of me alone, and some of them were with Su Mosen. I sat at my desk and stared at those pictures for a long time, and I never understood them.

I was still very young in the photos, about seven or eight years old, and eleven or twelve years old, and Su Mosen in those group photos had a warm smile on his face, and even held me in his arms, and even let me ride on my neck, especially loving me.

The Su Mo Sen in the photo is completely different from the Su Mo Sen I know.

If it weren't for the fact that they looked exactly the same, and the small but instantly visible notch on the front teeth, I would really wonder if the man in the photo was the same Su Mosen who raised me and abused me.