At one o'clock in the morning, I was woken up, there was thunder outside, the rain was very heavy, the sound of the noise, I got up and went to the toilet, the roommates were asleep, the mobile phone prompt light was flashing all the time, I picked up the phone and unlocked the phone, and the message sent to me by my eldest brother Liu Dong kept flashing:

Little brother, will you go to the association event tomorrow (smiling face) 23:02

Why don't you reply to me 23:25

Well, don't reply to me forget it, I slept, good night 23:30

It's a little cold outside, I quickly climbed into bed, lay down in the quilt, in a trance, it was quiet outside, and said to my roommate Reiko in the bed: Eat chicken tonight, it must be auspicious, Lao Luo rush me, after a while, Reiko again: We are all delicate pig girls.

I glanced at my phone again, it's two o'clock in the morning, forget it, I'm replying to my big brother tomorrow! He should have slept.

……

Today is the beginning of summer, one of the twenty-four solar terms, after today, the sky will be hot, even if it is not, from April, Neijiang is like being put on a steamer to steam it, the weather is surprisingly hot, there is no wind, even if there is, it is also a cloudy day or a rainy day, and it is the kind of wind that can blow people away, sunny days, it is stuffy, the air seems to be floating with water vapor, ripples in the air, like ocean waves, the leaves on the branches are like children who have made mistakes, listlessly bowing their heads, and the sound of cicadas makes people sound upset.

More than six o'clock in the morning, with a "bang" sound, I was suddenly woken up, in recent days, the nerves are fragile and terrible, there is a little sound can not sleep, a week ago, quit the part-time job that was hard to find, decadent in the bedroom, sometimes I especially want to sleep, lying in bed, but I can't sleep, and my roommate Pingping said: "You are hypocritical, you can finally sleep a little longer, but you can't sleep, alas! Women, it's hypocrisy"

I got up, brushed my teeth, washed my face, thanks to the weather, my face was full of acne, it was surprisingly itchy, I wanted to scratch, but I was afraid of scratching and disfiguring, maybe every girl cares about her face, every time she picks up the mirror, she doesn't want to look at it, but she always forces her roommates, after they see it, I will ask the last sentence, do you think it's better than yesterday? In fact, sometimes people are like this, unwilling to believe in themselves, and unwilling to accept harm, even if it comes from themselves, once it comes to themselves, even in subtle things, we can multiply it wirelessly.

After coming out of the toilet, they were still sleeping, it rained a little in the second half of the night yesterday, and the road was still a little wet, so they rubbed some medicine on their faces, and sat in their own places, swiped their mobile phones, and replied to the eldest brother's message by the way.

Big brother, are you up? (smiles)

I didn't go, I had a pimple on my face (smile) and waited for a while, but my eldest brother didn't reply to the message, and I browsed Weibo for a while.

At eight o'clock, the dormitory began to heat up, and my stomach was a little hungry, I washed four peaches, and the sound of my aunt sweeping the floor came from outside the door, and the sound of other students walking, Reiko propped up her body, stuck her head out of the mosquito net, looked at it, and lay back again, and continued to sleep, I also climbed up to bed and read the book "Mountains, Rivers, Sun and Moon".

In an instant, there was silence, and as in many mornings, every day, I always thought that it would be different, and when I looked back in the evening, I would find that no matter how it ended, most of the things I did at the beginning of the day were the same. Actually, we are all the same, there is no difference.

There was a sour smell of garbage in the air, wafting from a garbage dump not far from the school, and I didn't know how long it would take to dismantle it.

After reading the book for a while, it was really unbearable to bear the smell, put the book on the side of the pillow, and was about to lie down The phone buzzed and vibrated endlessly, I looked at the screen, it was Liu Jia's QQ text message, her style has always been like this, if she does not achieve her goal, she will not give up. If you don't reply to her, she will keep poking and knocking on the door.

Afraid of disturbing my roommate's sleep, I hurriedly turned off the prompt sound that I was particularly concerned about, and reluctantly clicked on the QQ dialog box, Liu Jia's standard baby sound exploded in my ears, although her voice was very good, but this is unforgivable.

How is the acne, Liu Jia asked with great concern, I have a lot of friends, but there are only a few who can chat often, it's not that other people don't chat with me, but we are separated now, everyone is in different schools, we are very busy, and we don't have so much time to chat.

Thinking that Liu Jia was still waiting for me to reply to the message on the other end of the phone, I hurriedly said: It hasn't disappeared yet, but it's slowly getting better, maybe it's today, maybe it's tomorrow, no matter which day he is, one day it will be fine, in fact, our life is like this, when you are doing a very small thing, as long as you stick to it, maybe one day it will become a big thing.

Liu Jia sent a naughty expression: I'm very happy

Playing a friend or you're getting acne, I guess

She didn't speak, only sent a voice for a second or two, "Ao" snorted twice, it sounded like she was very happy, I was a little confused, although I guessed that she was the same as me, but I could never guess how her thinking pattern changed, so jumpy, that sometimes I didn't understand what she was doing and what she was talking about.

I was a little annoyed and said: Are you happy with cotton thread?

Liu Jia was not angry at all about my annoyance, and even sent a sentence in a stinging voice: But, people have boyfriends! If he doesn't dislike me, I won't dislike myself.

A handful of dog food crawled along the network cable, and I didn't even want to pay attention to her: Then you go get some medicine, your boyfriend doesn't dislike it, that's why he didn't see you, because you are in a different place, in case he comes to you that day, you ...... (Bad Bad Expression)

Maybe QQ chat is not very satisfying for her, and soon QQ calls will come

At this time, most of the roommates have already gotten up, sitting at the table in their own small area, not talking, doing their own things, we are all like this, just like a little beast, staying in our own area, no major disasters, no transfer, no action, when I think of such a way of life, it will become my daily life in the future, I feel confused, and I have unspeakable discomfort.

I hesitated for a few seconds when my phone rang. Still connected, the other end of the phone was a few minutes ago, Liu Jia's voice remembered in my ears. It's like this hot air entering my body through the respiratory tract.

In fact, I wanted to call you at the beginning, but I was afraid that you wouldn't answer, so I chatted with you on QQ, and now you can't escape and have to chat with me. She speaks very slowly, not quickly, with her characteristic characteristics. It always makes people calm down and listen to her. Very comfortable.

But sometimes it's just too comfortable, so I don't want to talk to her. It felt like she would know everything.

Well, you won.

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment, I flipped through the review materials, hoping to end this unnutritious conversation sooner, the network was not very good, but it still insisted on connecting us.

Can I ask you a question? If you don't want to answer, you can choose not to answer, it's okay. Liu Jia couldn't help but say tentatively

What's the problem? I heard myself say this truthfully, in fact, no matter what the problem is now, I will know everything and say everything, people reach a certain stage, they don't want to force themselves, it is not easy to live, and I have to bear the debt of some lies. Why bother?

Do you still miss him? The network cable could not isolate her hesitant tone

No, if you miss it, you miss it, you can't go back, I think what can I do, he won't come back, I won't look back, just get by.

Actually, if you miss him, why don't you miss him, it's just that we can't do it anymore, and there is no reason to miss him.

Don't regret it?

I looked at the information, didn't speak, and was silent for a long time, I also thought about this question, don't you regret it? Touching my heart and asking, is it regret! Why don't you regret it, but can you go back if you regret it? No, since I can't, then I don't want to think about it. It's useless to think about it.

We can't go back to the past, after all, we succumbed to fate, and in the future he hugged a strange girl, maybe he loved, maybe not, but none of it had anything to do with me. I can't participate in his life anymore

I was silent for a long time, and she waited for a long time, perhaps knowing that she couldn't get an answer from me, and still said in a slow tone: Go and get busy! Isn't there an exam coming up? Go for a review!

Well, goodbye! I heard my own voice answer unconsciously

Hang up the phone and quit QQ, just like quitting that memory, with the taste of youth, which makes people nostalgic, but also sad, it is like a clock, slamming us back to the past.

This is the first midsummer I came to Neijiang, since the beginning of the summer, the weather is surprisingly hot, and I talked to a friend in Bazhong on the phone, it is only more than 20 degrees there, neither hot nor cold, it is the temperature I imagined.

As a warm creature, too high a temperature will make the skin unbearable, too low can't, Neijiang is hot in summer and cold in winter, sometimes I really regret it. How did you choose this city in the first place?

In the long road of life, each of us will have countless choices, but there are only a few that ultimately determine life, and we cannot regret our choice. Because regret is useless, the matter is a foregone conclusion, and no matter how much it changes, it will not make a big difference.

My roommate and I often travel between the cafeteria, the dormitory and the school building, not necessarily for food, not necessarily for rest, and similarly, not necessarily for studying, but ultimately for studying.

The acne is slowly disappearing, and the mood is slowly improving, maybe it is afraid of irritating me, so many days. Liu Jia never talked to me again, called me.

In fact, I still haven't let go of him, but I'm not as dead and alive as I was at the beginning, I always have to live in the present, I will be in the future, let him pass in the past! That's how everything is in the world.

The weather in Neijiang is capricious, the day before yesterday was still a sunny day, yesterday was a thunderstorm, cold surprisingly, I wore a pink mid-length sleeve, strolling in the rain, the raindrops crackled on my light green umbrella, in the summer rainy day, the quiet seems to have left this world, the noise surrounds the world, but the heart is very calm.

I really don't know how long I can enjoy such a day, and how long I can be calm with such peace.

I always stood at one end, looking at the other, imagining what it would be like to die.