Xuan Ye nestled in his grandmother's arms and said intimately: "Imperial grandmother, I'm not afraid, and don't be afraid of imperial grandmother, there is Xuan Ye here." ”

Yu'er let go of her embrace and straightened her clothes for her grandson: "Good boy, the imperial grandmother will take you to see you Amma." ”

But she took Xuan Ye's hand, and after only two steps, she was dizzy, and subconsciously reached out to the side, but pushed the porcelain bottle on the shelf to the ground.

There was a cracking sound, and Roujia and Fuquan immediately ran in, seeing Xuan Ye struggling to support her grandmother, and her grandchildren came up to support her.

Yu'er stood firm, and the palace maids and eunuchs also followed, hugging the queen mother back to the dormitory.

The queen and Yuan Xi arrived one after another, and Yu'er warned them not to make a fuss and not to alarm the ministers.

The imperial doctor said that the queen mother was tired, and she could recover her spirit after a few days of resting, counting it, these days, for the sake of state affairs, Yu'er slept less than two hours a day.

"I'm getting older, even if I go to bed late, I can't sleep in the morning, and I'm almost fifty years old." Yu'er said to the queen and Yuan Xi, "I'm fine, I'm used to living a comfortable life, this time I'm suddenly busy, it's good to get used to it." ”

She held the bowl by herself and slowly drank the soothing soup, only to hear the queen mutter: "When did you live a comfortable life?" ”

There was silence in the hall, and Yu'er smiled and continued to finish the medicine.

In the evening of that day, Pomegranate made a vegetarian meal, and as in the past, followed the young lady to the Qianqing Palace.

She asked Yuan Xi if she didn't have to wait in front of the Queen Mother, and Yuan Xi said: "We are all there, and we know that something happened to the Queen Mother outside, which makes people panic, and if anyone does something rebellious, how can it be done." ”

Coming to the warm pavilion of the Qianqing Palace, checking the food and testing for poison according to the rules, Yuan Xi only heard the people from the Qianqing Palace say at this moment: "Tong Niangniang, the third elder brother and the second elder brother have been here together today." ”

"Xuan Ye?" Yuan Xi was a little surprised, and looked at the pomegranate, "What's wrong with that kid?" ”

Pomegranate shook her head: "The slave doesn't know. ”

When they saw Fu Lin, Pomegranate put down the food and withdrew, Fu Lin ate slowly, Yuan Xi asked him, "Xuan Ye has been here?" ”

"I've been here, but I haven't seen them." Fu Lin said, "I am the way I am now, I shouldn't let them see it, and when I see it, I don't know what to say." ”

Yuan Xi smiled bitterly: "The emperor still has this thought, it can be seen that he can't get rid of the red dust, you really don't care about anything, do you still care about your appearance in front of your sons?" ”

Fu Lin didn't speak, and continued to eat in silence.

Yuan Xi said: "Your Majesty, the Queen Mother is sick. ”

Fu Lin suddenly raised his head, took the food in his mouth, and stopped chewing.

Yuan Xi lowered his eyes and said: "I'm tired, I talked to Xuan Ye and Fuquan today, and I fainted." The imperial doctor said that there were no major symptoms, but the body was very weak, and I heard Aunt Su Mala say that the queen mother only slept for two hours a day these days. In this way, the iron body can't hold it. ”

Fu Lin lowered his head and continued to eat, gulping down, he ate like this every day, it looked delicious, but in fact it was just to sustain life. But as long as he is alive, everyone is content.

In the dead of night, the lights in the Forbidden City gradually went out, and the guards and eunuchs on duty in the Qianqing Palace took over their shifts, but they saw the emperor coming out of the door.

The big eunuch greeted him and asked, "Your Majesty, it's so late, where are you going?" ”

"Go to Cining Palace." Fu Lin said, walked to the person carrying the lantern on the side, took the lantern with his own hand, and said, "Don't come with me, I'll go and go back." ”

Everyone didn't dare to stop it, and they stopped when they were sent to the gate of the Qianqing Palace.

Fu Lin walked alone with a lantern to Cining Palace, this road was his least favorite road in the Forbidden City, he was afraid to see his mother, and he was full of fear and awe of everything in Cining Palace.

"Your Majesty?" The eunuch outside the gate of Cining Palace looked at the emperor in surprise and hurriedly opened the door for the emperor.

The palace people inside greeted each other, all of them were surprised, and Fulin said, "Don't make a sound, don't disturb the Queen Mother's sleep, I'll take a look and leave." ”

He handed the lantern to the person next to him and walked to his mother's bedroom, Su Mala just came out of the tea room with the medicine, and saw the emperor's figure from a distance, it was the person she had taken care of since childhood, just a touch of the figure was enough to recognize.

The little palace maid also came to her in surprise and told her: "Mama, it's the emperor who is here." ”

In the dormitory, Yu'er leaned against the head of the bed, there was a large square stool next to the bed, and there were stacks of folds on the stool, and the candlestick above the bedside was huge, and more than a dozen candles could be lit at a time, but for the fireproof candles, the curtains on the bed frame were all removed.

Yu'er flipped through the folds without distraction, sighing from time to time, and angry from time to time, one after another, without noticing that someone walked in.

Fu Lin stood by the screen for a long time, his mother's eyes always on a book.

"E-niang." Fulin spoke.

Yu'er raised her head, her eyes were a little confused, she had to frown, look hard at where the voice came from, and try to keep her eyes open until she could see that it was her son who was standing there.

Fu Lin stepped forward: "It's late at night, you rest early." ”

Yu'er said: "It's good, after reading this stack, I'll sleep." I can't sleep when I lie down anyway, and I'm idle when I'm idle. ”

Fu Lin hung his hands at his sides, clenched his fists slightly, as if he was not moving, as if he was hesitating about something, Yu'er gradually withdrew her gaze and continued to look at the twists and turns, but at this moment, she suddenly couldn't read a word.

She closed the book in her hand and was about to take another volume, when her son's hand suddenly reached out, took the fold from her hand, picked up all the folds on the square stool, sat down under the window, and looked at the candlelight on the kang table.

Yu'er was stunned, looked at it wordlessly for a moment, got up from the bed, brought the candlestick, and put it in front of her son.

Fu Lin raised his head and said unconfidently: "Eniang, leave these few things to me." ”

Yu'er nodded: "Look at it." ”

Su Mala quietly entered the door to look, when she came, Yu'er had already returned to the couch, leaning on the head of the bed and closing her eyes to recuperate, while the emperor was reviewing the folds in the candlelight, Su Mala froze, but a warm current flowed in her heart, as if everything had hope again.

She retreated and opened the palace people outside the door.

I don't know how long it took, Yu'er heard the movement of the folds being folded up one by one, opened her eyes, and saw that Fulin had put the approved folds neatly on the corner of the table, and the pen and ink inkstone was also placed in a thoughtful manner.

He stood up: "E-niang is not asleep yet?" ”

Yu'er said: "Let's sleep, and the emperor will go back to sleep early." ”

Fu Lin lowered his eyes and wanted to say something, but his lips squirmed, as if he couldn't spit out those words.

Yu'er took the initiative to say: "So far, if I am willing to listen to you well, are you still willing to say it to Eniang?" All along, E-Niang has always been unable to listen to you patiently, and it's not good for me. ”

Fu Lin shook his head, his voice choked: "A thousand mistakes, it's all my fault." ”

Yu'er said with tears in her eyes: "Son, if you have anything to say, you can say it, I will definitely listen carefully." ”

Fu Lin spit out a few words with difficulty: "Eniang, I don't like to be an emperor." ”

Yu'er nodded: "I know, I knew it seventeen years ago, but I still forced you to sit on the dragon chair." ”

"For seventeen years, every day has been a torment, and I have forced myself to accept obedience, to face it well, and to have ambitions, and to have aspirations to build a stronger country," said Fu Lin bitterly. Eniang...... But my life seems to be trapped by something, the more I struggle, the tighter I get entangled, and I can never find an exit. One day, they will choke me by the neck and take my life. ”

Yu'er said, "It's painful, isn't it?" ”

"Yes." Fu Lin said, "As a result, one person after another has been harmed, and the world has not been at peace." ”

Yu'er said: "After you Ama is terminally ill, you will no longer see the minister, because you can't let them see your aging, even to the end of your life, you have to use his majesty to support a country." And you, even if you are sick, with a heart disease that has no cure, even if everything you do is involuntarily, I can't sympathize with you and pity you. ”

"Yes." Fu Lin replied, and also said bravely, "I have been doing things that can make me happy, and everything violates the responsibilities and responsibilities that an emperor should have, which makes me feel happy, and I feel that I can stay away from the dragon chair and away from the emperor." Like a madman, indulging in absurdity, self-paralyzing and satisfying. ”

"So, E-Niang can't indulge you." Yu'er said, "Earlier, I didn't expect your imperial mother to leave so early, I gave up my mother's position to her, and I became the queen mother with peace of mind, supporting the court for you and controlling Dorgon." Who knew that the sky would become so fast, and when I wanted to be a mother again, the whole country was separated between our mother and son. ”

Fu Lin stepped forward, put another pillow behind his mother, and sat down on the square board.

Yu'er held her son's hand and said, "Having said that, I still endure many things. Maybe from the moment you first started to indulge yourself, you were restrained and forced, and the disease in your heart was not so serious at that time, and everything would not have gotten so bad. Now that you're in a lot of holes, I'm starting to restrain you, it's too late. ”

Fu Lin said: "Eniang, I'm sorry ......"

Yu'er smiled bitterly: "When you Ama was alive, I hated him the most when he said sorry to me, Fulin, from now on, don't say it again." ”

Fu Lin nodded tearfully: "Yes." ”

Yu'er said: "Don't be afraid, the court will not be chaotic, the ministers are loyal, I have never let go of the government in the past seventeen years, and I am probably destined to have today." Fulin, E-Niang can't sympathize with you, can't pity you, and I can't let you be a monk. You can eat vegetarian food for a lifetime in the Qianqing Palace, but even if one day, I want you to leave there, I will not let you become a monk. ”

Fu Lin looked at his mother in pain, but what he was suffering was not his mother's restraints, but his inability to find an exit in life, he was very uncomfortable, like being haunted by illness and bitten by a hundred insects.

Yu'er said ruthlessly: "From now on, you will never be free in your life, you have exhausted all your freedom." True freedom, which only exists under rules, constraints, and even pain, will bring benefits to people and hope to the world. And the kind of freedom you yearn for will only bring you all the tragedies you see in front of you, Meng Guqing is the best example, you once said that she is the freest person in the Forbidden City, then you look at the price she paid for this, and yourself. ”