The deepest secret buried in his heart was dug up again, Tao Xiu's face was pale, and Tao Xiu was speechless in the face of the questions of the students and the teaching director.

originally thought that those past were just like this, he wanted to forget everything, and was only willing to remember all the good things that Zhou Hangyu had done to him, but at the beginning, those good and bad obviously existed together, as long as someone mentioned it, Tao Xiu suddenly realized that he couldn't forget it, even after so many years, Zhou Hangyu's appearance was still fresh in Tao Xiu's heart.

The eyebrows, the smile, and every promise he made to him, Tao Xiu remembered it clearly.

The disappointing gaze of the teaching director pierced Tao Xiu's heart, because Tao Xiu's non-justification made everyone believe the child's words even more, and finally the matter was stabbed in the principal's office.

The principal adhered to the principle of "teachers should be role models for students", fired Tao Xiu's squid, settled his salary on the same day, and when he left the school, Tao Xiu saw the child smiling at him viciously.

It's just that, in the end, he is still an ignorant child, Tao Xiu is powerless to educate him about anything, think about it carefully, many adults still can't understand homosexuality, how can he expect a child to understand?

This turmoil made Tao Xiu understand that whether it is in a big city or in a small town and alley, homosexuality is shameful to people, if he is not with a woman, he will not be blessed, but if he is reluctantly with a woman, no matter how many blessings he gets, he himself will not be happy.

The scenes in the school overlapped with the past in the alley, and Tao Xiu suddenly felt that life was very bad, a mess, and even the most desirable job he had ever gotten was lost again.

No one wants him to be well, no one wants him to live, even his relatives can't understand him, but look at him coldly, Tao Xiu feels that he can't bear it anymore, he might as well follow Zhou Hangyu and die in that car accident.

On Huangquan Road, at least be a companion, no one is lonely.

After this crazy idea appeared in Tao Xiu's mind once, it kept swirling, instigating Tao Xiu to pick up the knife......

Tao Xiu didn't remember much about what happened after that, he only felt that he must have been stunned at that time, and he would be so obsessed with putting himself to death, the wound was very deep, if it wasn't for Ding Le who happened to come to see him and sent him to the hospital in time, even if it was a few minutes late, he would not be able to return to the sky.

Bleeding too much, Tao Xiu was hospitalized to recuperate, and the first person he saw when he woke up was Ding Le, and he was slapped hard, which directly stunned Tao Xiu and stared at Ding Le strangely.

Ding Le excitedly told Tao Xiu how worried he was, how afraid he was that he would die like that, after Tao Xiu understood, he squeezed out a pale smile, "This is a thought, I started in a daze, there will be no next ......."

"You promise me, you swear!" Ding Le's face was full of disbelief.

He never believed that Tao Xiu was a person who would do stupid things, but Tao Xiu did stupid things, so how could he dare to believe Tao Xiu's "there will be no next time"?

"I swear, there's no next time." Tao Xiu looked at the wrist with a deep wound, the blood was still faintly coming out, stained red with half of the gauze, and he could even see the rolled flesh wrapped inside, all like this, he couldn't even die.

"You swear by Zhou Hangyu!" Ding Le still didn't believe it.

Hearing this name, the light in Tao Xiu's eyes dimmed, and after all, he opened his lips and agreed: "I swear with Hangyu that there will be no next time for something like today." ”

Ding Le finally sat down reassuringly, "Did something happen at the school?" How could you suddenly ......"

"It's nothing, what I experienced before was staged again in school, maybe, liking men, is destined to have no good results." Tao Xiu shook his head lightly.

There was a burst of pain in his wrist, Tao Xiu laughed at himself, he still chose the most cowardly way, he wanted to leave this world, but looking back, what could his death change? This earth is a lot less than him, since nothing can be changed, why let the people around him worry and feel sorry for him?

Even if Ding Le is the only one "around", at least, there is still one person who really cares about him.

Although he is not related by blood, and he is not a childhood sweetheart, he just met in Pingshui, and the touching that Ding Le brought him was enough to dispel the idea of dying.

"Don't be so pessimistic, I went to gay with my friends last time, there are a lot of couples in it, they all seem to be fine, I heard that there are gay marriages in other cities." Ding Le pretended to be relaxed, and tried to choose the best ones.

Although most of the people who go to the gay bar to play are in the form of dates, even if there is a gay marriage, it may not last long, but he is saying this now, just to Tao Xiu cheer up and not be completely disappointed in love.

"Really?" Tao Xiu responded.

Ding Le nodded, "The person I like is also a man." ”

Tao Xiu closed his eyes and smiled lightly, but he was thinking in his heart: Ding Le can actually say this sentence in order to comfort himself.

Unexpectedly, what Ding Le said was true, not casually.

After experiencing this incident, thanks to Ding Le, Tao Xiu finally regained his strength, and soon found a job again, hiding that gloomy past in his heart, if it wasn't for the car accident later, I'm afraid he would never forget it until he died.

But because of a car accident, he forgot this unforgettable memory and forgot the person "Zhou Hangyu", and he didn't recall those past until today.

and what he experienced on the night of the car accident, Tao Xiu thought about it together.

Although it was very vague, he remembered that it was because he was violated by a strange man that night, and he didn't notice the car in a daze......

Who is that person?

Tao Xiu recalled vigorously, but the sharp pain in his head was shouting, and he couldn't remember the characteristics of that man.

Just remembering that he had been treated like this had already made Tao Xiu so disgusted that he couldn't bear it.

Before he regained his memory, he could comfort himself as if he had been bitten by a dog, but now he truly recalled that it was a man he didn't know who brought him pain that night.

It's not Zhou Hangyu, it's another man.

Tao Xiu opened his eyes suddenly, rolled out of bed, staggered into the bathroom, took off his clothes, and took a bath with boiling water......

After washing for an unknown amount of time, Tao Xiu finally came back to his senses, changed his clothes and rushed out of the door.

The young man who died for him was lonely for a long time, but he forgot about him, and Tao Xiu secretly returned to the alley of his hometown town by car overnight.

It was dark, and Tao Xiu put on a down hat that covered his cheeks, so that no one noticed him along the way, although there were a few neighbors who had already started to set up their stalls.

He just wanted to come back and see the tree he had planted with his own hands, the kapok tree.

So I rushed back overnight.

The cold wind blew his bare hands, Tao Xiu subconsciously walked faster, he didn't want to be recognized by the neighbors, and he was talked about and insulted again.

There are still three hours to go to work, and Tao Xiu has to rush back, so he has to hurry.

Walking to the big banyan tree, Tao Xiu stopped, on the left side of the big banyan tree, proudly stood a not thick but very straight kapok tree, because the weather is not too cold, the petals have not completely withered, there are still a few trembling on it, unwilling to leave the branches.

Tao Xiu looked up, and suddenly opened a relieved smile, his Hangyu never left, this tree is Zhou Hangyu's soul for Tao Xiu, no one deliberately watered it, but it still absorbed the rain, dew and sunshine, and grew up strongly.

"I'll be back to see you often." The man standing under the kapok tree whispered to the tree.

At seven o'clock, Tao Xiu, who saw the kapok tree, left satisfied, and even the pace of leaving was much lighter.

The memories left to him in the alley of his hometown are not only painful, but also his beautiful first love, although the final ending is not good, but at least he has loved bravely.

After returning to JCDecaux University, Tao Xiu took a deep breath, calmed down the complicated feelings that had become complicated last night due to the recovery of his memory, and returned to his position to prepare for class seriously.

After getting off work at noon, Tao Xiu made a phone call to Ding Le and told him that he remembered Zhou Hangyu.

Ding Le was nervous on the other end of the phone, and kept asking him if he was okay, Tao Xiu felt the warmth of being cared for, and turned his head to look at the sunshine outside the window, "I'm fine, it's been more than ten years, and I finally think about it completely, even if it's my fault, if I torture myself again, he won't come back." ”

Outside the window, the sun is shining and warm and pleasant.

"It's good that you understand, there is a vast sea of people, and you will find a better one." Ding Le finally breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ding Le, don't give up, but don't be in a hurry, take your time, the important thing is not to make a fuss like me, to calm down." Tao Xiu admonished.

Ding Le listened and stir-fried the vegetables, "It's okay, we're in a better situation, as long as it doesn't irritate my mother, it's fine, I'll send them food first." ”

"Okay." Tao Xiu responded.

At the beginning of the new semester, Tao Xiu has a lot of work, the class schedule and seating list have to be re-done, and the new teaching knowledge must be seen in advance, and the key points of each class are circled.

During class, Tao Xiu would also deliberately avoid Gu Qingfang's sight, and to his relief, Gu Qingyan was indeed no longer pressed so hard as he said, but the things that belonged to Gu Qingyan in Tao Xiu's dormitory had not been taken away yet.

I don't know if I'm going to ask for it anymore, or if I just want to stay there.

Occasionally, when he was taking a leisurely walk on campus, Tao Xiu found that Gu Qingmad was following him from a distance, Tao Xiu sighed, he didn't want to go through everything in the past anymore, he just hoped that Gu Qingmad was good, still excellent, still proud, and still arrogant.

Love is no longer important to him.

When Tao Xiu saw Xie Qiao again, he whispered to Xie Qiao: "I've thought about it, I want to meet your cousin." ”