In the winter of 2006, after giving away dates only to recoup the disappointment, I spent two months of lifelessness. That year, for the calm of the Spring Festival, my parents said that finally I grew up, and I was no longer like a child during the holidays. I did grow up and start to break my heart because I liked someone. This time, than the one that disappeared with a street, there was more loss and more sadness.

Time and distance are not a good medicine. The day of school has arrived, although the longing has not decreased, nor has it increased. In the days when Yi Xu continued to have no news, I sometimes felt that in another two months, maybe I wouldn't like him. I was so worthless in his eyes, and I didn't even say a greeting, so I didn't look for the answer to "is he worth it" anymore.

Just like that, another month passed, and one day Zhang Hengli suddenly told me that Zhong Pei's girlfriend died, and he was poisoned by gas while taking a bath at home, just last night. The first time I heard that Zhong Pei had a girlfriend was when I heard the news of Zhong Pei's girlfriend's death.

I dragged Zhang Hengli to take me to Zhong Pei's dormitory, and when I saw the "named" classmates and the photos on Zhong Pei's desk, I knew that I had a few encounters with his girlfriend. His girlfriend also participated in the "roll call" activity, and the girl with beautiful long black hair who said her name was "Yi Xu" was her. It was she who told me "oolong ball" on the football field, and Zhong Pei pit my hot pot and brought it to her, I should have thought of it at the time, but Zhong Pei was so anxious that I didn't introduce it. She is beautiful and her skin is even more crystal clear than in the photos.

When we arrived, Zhong Pei was holding a piece of paper and crying. That was the wish that the girl wrote before her death, hoping that on the first anniversary of their relationship, Zhong Pei could do 3 things for her. When the anniversary was just over a month away, the girl had a death date first.

I have the impression that almost all of his classmates were in that dormitory, and everyone accompanied him and comforted him from time to time. Comfort didn't play a role, a few people felt bored, went out for a while, and then came back, probably going out to smoke, with a very strong smell of smoke. When Zhang Hengli and I looked at each other and were about to leave, Yi Xu appeared.

I originally thought that the two of us couldn't help here, and I wanted to come to comfort Zhong Pei in a few days, but Yi Xu suddenly appeared, and I pulled Zhang Hengli to the corner again. Yi Xu came in with a bunch of things. Everyone put it away for him. It's a jigsaw puzzle, an easel, and a book of poetry in English.

"You said whatever you wanted, and I came as I liked. I'm sorry, I don't know her, if you think she won't like it, I'll change it. Yi Xu said to Zhong Pei.

"I don't know her either!" Zhong Pei cried and said, "How can a boy understand a girl!" She knew I didn't understand, so she wrote these three requests! But you see, you see, she wrote these three things! That's the last thing I can do! It doesn't matter, it really doesn't matter, it doesn't matter whatever, as long as I do it. What kind of it is, she will like it. ”

Everyone also chimed in: "Yes, yes! Would love it! ”

"Then let's do it again today, if you think it's okay, I'll teach you from tomorrow, and then you give it to her on that day."

"Okay." Zhong Pei picked up the book of poems: "This should be what she is looking forward to among the three wishes, it turns out that I still know a little about her!" But look at me, thinking that it's still a month, what's the hurry, I haven't even started to prepare! ”

As he spoke, he began to grab his hair with his other hand, and the classmate next to him hurriedly went up and broke his hand. A classmate took the book of poems from Zhong Pei's hand, flipped through it, and reluctantly closed it.

"Damn, I don't know a lot of words, it's easy to continue, or you should come!" He handed the book to Yi Xu.

"Then I'll pick the first one, okay? You are each other's first love. Yi Xu said.

Zhong Pei drooped his head and nodded gently. Zhang Hengli obviously didn't have much interest in this, and this atmosphere also made him feel too depressed, and he pulled my clothes and signaled to leave. I whispered to him that he would leave after hearing this, and he had to reluctantly stay with me again.

Easy to continue to read. He reads very softly, very slowly, as if telling a story, eloquently, not the kind of recitation, like a friend on a quiet full moon night, gently telling you his thoughts about his childhood and hometown, very nice and good:

NowasIwasyoungandeasyundertheappleboughs

Abouttheliltinghouseandhappyasthegrasswasgreen，

Thenightabovethedinglestarry，

Timeletmehailandclimb

Goldenintheheydaysofhiseyes，

AndhonouredamongwagonsIwasprinceoftheappletowns

AndoncebelowatimeIlordlyhadthetreesandleaves

Trailwithdaisiesandbarley

Downtheriversofthewindfalllight。

Translations:

Now, when I sit young and comfortable under the apple tree,

Next to the whispering house, happy because of the green grass,

The night hangs over the valley of the stars,

Time makes me cheer and let me climb

The golden years in his eyes

I am the prince of apples in the crowd of chariots and horses,

Once upon a time, I gracefully let the leaves of the trees

With the chrysanthemum and the barley with me

Cruise along the windswept river of sunshine.

AndasIwasgreenandcarefree，famousamongthebarns

Aboutthehappyyardandsingingasthefarmwashome，

Inthesunthatisyoungonceonly，

Timeletmeplayandbe

Goldeninthemercyofhismeans，

AndgreenandgoldenIwashuntsmanandherdsman，thecalves

Sangtomyhorn，thefoxesonthehillsbarkedclearandcold，

Andthesabbathrangslowly

Inthepebblesoftheholystreams。

Translations:

When I'm green, carefree, in the courtyard of joy

The barn is famous, singing farm homes,

In the sun that is only young once,

Time makes me playful, and I become

Golden, by his grace,

Among the green and golden, I am the hunter and the shepherd, the calves

Singing with my horn, the foxes on the mountain bark coldly

And the Sabbath slowly tinked

Among the pebbles in the holy spring.

Allthesunlongitwasrunning，itwaslovely，thehay

Fieldshighasthehouse，thetunesfromthechimneys，itwasair

Andplaying，lovelyandwatery

Andfiregreenasgrass。

Andnightlyunderthe******stars

AsIrodetosleeptheowlswerebearingthefarmaway，

AllthemoonlongIheard，blessedamongstables，thenightjars

Flyingwiththericks，andthehorses

Flashingintothedark。

Translations:

It runs in the long daylight, so cute, hay field

The house is as high, and the chimney floats a ballad, and it is full of vitality,

Playful, watery, cute,

The grass burns green.

Under the stars at night,

When I drifted off to sleep, the owl rode away from the farm,

I listened and prayed in the stables on long moonlit nights, Nighthawks

Fly with the haystacks, horses

Flash into the depths of darkness.

Andthentoawake，andthefarm，likeawandererwhite

Withthedew，comeback，thecockonhisshoulder：itwasall

Shining，itwasAdamandmaiden，

Theskygatheredagain

Andthesungrewroundthatveryday。

Soitmusthavebeenafterthebirthofthe******light

Inthefirst，spinningplace，thespellboundhorseswalkingwarm

Outofthewhinnyinggreenstable

Ontothefieldsofpraise。

Translations:

Then he woke up, and the farm returned like a wanderer,

Dewy white, rooster on the shoulders: everything

All flashes, all are Eve Adam,

The sky converges again,

It was the day the sun was round.

Therefore, it should be at the time of the dawn of light,

In the original spinning field, the enchanted horses walked out warmly

Green neighing stables,

Travel to the land of glory.

Andhonouredamongfoxesandpheasantsbythegayhouse

Underthenewmadecloudsandhappyastheheartwaslong，

Inthesunbornoverandover，

Iranmyheedlessways，

Mywishesracedthroughthehousehighhay

AndnothingIcared，atmyskybluetrades，thattimeallows

Inallhistunefulturningsofewandsuchmorningsongs

Beforethechildrengreenandgolden

Followhimoutofgrace.

Translations:

At the edge of the joyful house, under the newly cut clouds,

Accompanied by the foxes and pheasants, happy and heartbeat,

In the sun that is reborn again and again

I run around at will,

My prayers flew over the haystacks high in the house

And I don't care about my sky blue livelihood, time

Let the morning song be sparse between his leisurely turns

In front of the children's verdant and golden yellow

Gone with him.

NothingIcared，inthelambwhitedays，thattimewouldtakeme

Uptotheswallowthrongedloftbytheshadowofmyhand，

Inthemoonthatisalwaysrising，

Northatridingtosleep

Ishouldhearhimflywiththehighfields

Andwaketothefarmforeverfledfromthechildlessland。

OhasIwasyoungandeasyinthemercyofhismeans，

Timeheldmegreenanddying

ThoughIsanginmychainslikethesea。

Translations:

I don't care, lamb-white days, time

The shadow that takes my hand carries me into the moon that rises eternally,

The attic full of swallows,

I don't care when I drive into a long dream,

I will listen to him fly with the high fields,

Then he wakes up on the farm, forever away from the childless world.

Oh! When I was young and comfortable in his favor,

Time has made me green and let me die,

Even if I sing the song of the sea in shackles.

Note: Dilan? Thomas, "Sheep's Tooth Mountain"

I'm from the German department, and I chose English as a second foreign language, and like their classmate, there are words in this poem that I don't know, so in the first paragraph, it's really cloudy, and maybe the bigger feeling is that in this small room where everyone is holding their breath, the sound of reading is particularly good. By the second paragraph, the words that I could understand and couldn't were put together, and I began to see a blurry picture, which gradually became clear as Yi continued to speak.

It had been years, and the picture hadn't been that clear for years, and then it was blurry again in front of my eyes.

Zhang Hengli leaned his face close to me, he reached out and touched my face, he was hurriedly helping me wipe my tears. I cried.

I turned to face the wall, not wanting to be seen, not wanting to interrupt Yi Xu, and not wanting to attract the attention of others.

Zhang Hengli leaned into my ear and asked me softly: "Why don't we go, it will make you cry." ”

He thought I was crying for Zhong Pei and the girl who died. Although this is a very sad thing, I have to admit that it is the voice of Yi Xu that evokes a deep longing for me. This longing popped up and really scared me.

This boy, in my heart, has a different meaning.

I said to Zhang Hengli, "I'm not leaving. ”

Zhang Hengli was so shocked by me that he turned his head and stared at Yi Xu until he read the whole poem. I wiped away my tears and shrank into deeper corners. Then Yi Xu began to prepare the paints and paint. Their classmates all went out so that he could concentrate on painting. Only Zhong Pei, Yi Xu, Zhang Hengli and I were left in the room.

Yi Xu opened the drawing board, bent down and began to draw. I stepped forward and pulled a chair for him. When he saw me, he smiled and thanked me.

He really didn't do anything to me, and he wasn't surprised at all when I showed up like that. He sat down and focused on drawing, and I stepped back to look at him. Zhang Hengli handed me his mobile phone, which was a text message from him and Zhang Yi.

Zhang Hengli said: An alumnus died, that Yi continued to read poetry, my mother, what about English poetry! It was like a lullaby, I almost fell asleep! But Xijia cried when she heard it.

Zhang Yi texted back and said: Fault!

I directly removed the battery of the phone and quietly watched Yi Xu draw. Zhong Pei didn't know when he was holding the box of puzzles in his arms, tilting his head, his eyes were swollen like light bulbs, and he also watched Yi Xu draw there. Before I knew it, the painting had taken shape, and I looked at the yellow painting, and my nose began to sour again. Although he painted a field of flowers in the distance, the color was hazy, but I could see that it was rape flowers!

Zhang Hengli didn't want Yi Xu to find me crying, so he held my shoulders and made me turn around, and I turned my back to Yi Xu. When I wiped away my tears and turned around, Yi Xu was covering Zhong Pei on the table with a blanket. He pulled the box of puzzles out of the blanket and placed it in the corner of the table. I saw the puzzle in its entirety.

Seeing that I was about to cry again, I ran over and picked up the poetry book and puzzle from the table, stuffed it into Zhang Hengli's hand, and then raised the painting with both hands. Yi Xu was stunned by my sudden behavior, and the painting that separated us from me was like a yellow ribbon, implicating the boundless time and space.

"Will you let him sleep for two hours?" I said almost pleadingly, "I'll borrow these three things, and within two hours, I'll return them intact!" ”

I didn't wait for Yi Xu to agree, and I had already run out of the dormitory with Zhang Hengli. I held the painting above my head for fear that people passing by would touch it. I kept running, Zhang Hengli followed me until I ran to the girls' dormitory building. I took the things in Zhang Hengli's hand and asked him to go to dinner, I went back to my dormitory, put the paintings, puzzles and poetry books on the bed, set the alarm clock, closed the curtains, and precipitated my mood alone.

I privately named that puzzle piece, "The Yangtze River and the Beach". The painting is called "Rape Fields in the Sun", and the poem, I know it has its own name, but the name in my heart is "BackToHometown". It's all cheesy, how unpoetic the name, but it can only be connected to that land by expressing one's heart in this way.

I remember watching the long river from the balcony of my home when I was a child; I remember the feeling of bouncing on the beach, sand running between my toes; I think of shuttling through the endless rape flower fields, a gust of wind blowing, and the world is full of sweet taste; I thought of climbing date trees, beating mulberries, and going to school on a rampage with my schoolbag.

It was the first time in many years that I remembered in such detail and comprehensiveness as a child in my hometown. To my surprise, the more memories I have, the calmer and more comfortable I become, and the images in my mind are vivid, bright, and colorful.

I think of the first time I thought of the dates in my hometown because of Yi Xu, and the memory was also cute, and at that time I should have noticed that this person was really different, and the boy I liked for the first time, just liked, different. Yi Xu chose this poem with his intuition, bought this puzzle, and painted this picture, which just fits my long-term longing for my hometown, whether it is a coincidence or superstition, when this boy overwhelms my thoughts, and more importantly, it also turns the bitter taste of those years into sweetness, and the dark color into brightness, no one has ever had such an ability. I know that it is fate, fate, and he has compensated me for failing me for many years!

The alarm clock hadn't gone off yet, and I was pretty sure of my heart. I sent a text message to Zhang Yi and Zhang Hengli: "I like Yi Xu, it's not impulsive, it's really not!" ”

I returned to Zhong Pei's dormitory half an hour early as agreed, there were still only two people in the dormitory, Zhong Pei and Yi Xu, both of them were sleeping, Zhong Pei was lying on his stomach, and Yi Xu was actually asleep while sitting. I heard from his classmates that Pei received a call at two o'clock in the morning that day and rushed to the hospital. Later, the classmates who knew about it all went one after another, and Yi Xu rushed over from home after receiving the news. Later, the classmates came back to rest one after another, and Yi Xu has been accompanying Zhong Pei.

I put things down, and I wanted to go over and hug him, but I was even more afraid of waking him up.

I moved a chair and sat across from him, looking at him without blinking.

It was the first time in my life that I had the opportunity to look at him up close and quiet. Yi Xu's skin is very healthy, with the color of sunshine, which is darker than Zhang Hengli. I stretched out my hand and compared, I was a little whiter than him, and I was relieved. His hair is not long, usually refreshing and refreshing, but now it is a little messy, and I don't know what hairstyle this belongs to, anyway, it is not a plate and there is no bangs that have begun to be popular back then. His eyebrows are dark but not very thick, so he doesn't look serious when he's not smiling. The tip of his nose and upper lip have a slight upward arc, and it is very dangerous for such a boy to meet a perverted girl, and doing nothing is like asking for a kiss. I wanted to kiss him. I like to see his closed eyes the most, and the eyelashes are thick and long.

I really couldn't control myself, and I started staring at his eyelashes, counting them one by one. But when you count it, it's messy, because some of the upper and lower eyelashes are crossed and stacked together, and you really have to count them clearly, and you have to take a needle and pull them apart one by one. But I still had the peace of mind and started again and again.

Counting and counting, my stomach suddenly started rumbling. It's already past three o'clock in the afternoon, and I haven't eaten lunch yet. I wanted to press down the sound with my hand, but it still came and went, I was afraid of waking up Yi Xu, thinking that the people in this dormitory might come back immediately, in case I opened the door and found that my woman was inside, it was not very good, so I could only reluctantly leave.

18 April 2007

That afternoon, I wanted to visit Zhong Pei after class. Before that, I didn't contact him or Yi Xu, one of them was busy mourning and the other was busy appeasing, and the contact could only cause disturbance.

And I'm also very busy, Zhang Yi had surgery for acute appendicitis half a month ago, Zhang Hengli waited for her to come out of the surgery, and after making sure that she would not die, he didn't dare to go to the hospital again. I had to go back and forth between school and the hospital every day, and I slept in the hospital in a small bed at night, and the people in our dormitory thought that I was going out to live with people quietly.

I met the fat man in their class downstairs in Zhong Pei's dormitory, the one who pretended to be the teacher during the "roll call". I greeted him and he still passed me, and I grabbed his sleeve before he saw me.

"It's you! Are you looking for easy renewal? He asked me.

This question is not right, Yi Xu does not live in the dormitory, my original intention is really to visit Zhong Pei, and by the way, I must see Yi Xu.

"I, I'm here to see Zhong Pei." I say.

"You don't have to go up, Zhong Pei was picked up by his family without eating or drinking, it's been almost two weeks!"

"Is he alright?"

Zhong Pei should have been picked up for about the same time as Zhang Yi's surgery, and I put all my attention on Zhang Yi, so I didn't know about Zhong Pei.

"Alive." He pointed to a building in the distance: "On the third floor of the teaching building over there, our department, Yi Xu went there to quarrel with the teacher." ”

"Quarrel with a teacher?" I was surprised: "He's so bold?" ”

"It's okay, it's not always like this."

"What's going on?"

"I hung a subject last semester."

"Me too!" I grinned and began to laugh: "It's so fateful! ”

"Don't get up on this and talk about fate!" He felt helpless and funny: "Did you make up the exam?" ”

"Of course! I finished the exam two days before the start of school! I said.

"Did you pay the money?" He asked with interest.

"300 pieces." I'm embarrassed to say.

150 ice creams!

"You saw your failing grade at the time, and you suspected that the paper was wrong?"

"How dare you?"

I doubt the ones that passed!

Yi Xu decided that the teacher had made a mistake. He scored 59 points, but he estimated 62 points. The marking teacher went abroad for an inspection and just returned to school today, no, he went to find it. ”

Why is this man so good? It's not that arguing with a teacher must be a big deal, just be a little rascal who doesn't respect the teacher. However, how can he be so sure of his test scores? As soon as I handed in the paper, I didn't know what I had written. Even if I still remember, with so many years of practical experience, I have come up with an answer in my heart countless times, but I have written a C in my hand, between 26 points and 95 points, I can know that the score is generally closer to the former, but how can it be between 62 points and 59 points, so I should be sure that I should have three more points, not one careless and less three points?

Just thinking about it, before I knew it, I had gone up to the floor of their department. Yi Xu was not far in front of me, talking to a teacher, and after a while the teacher went in and closed the door. Yi Xu didn't leave, just turned around, put his arm on the windowsill of the corridor, and looked into the distance. It seems to have been rejected.

I didn't dare to go over, I didn't know what to say to him. It's not right to pretend to meet him by chance, and it's not right to say that he came here to look for him. It was not right to discuss this with him, and he would certainly not be interested in discussing other things. Maybe when you are unrequited in love with someone, it is the time when your eloquence is the most tested, and how much you like in your heart, how difficult the language will be. I usually speak in fragments, and in that case, as soon as I open my mouth, my eloquence is shattered.

Far away, the sun was setting, and I stood silently on the windowsill not far from him, in the same posture as him, enjoying a complete sunset. The mountains in the distance have begun to turn green, and the lawn downstairs no longer has the feeling of winter depression, the ice water has long since melted, the grass and trees have long since sprouted, and the life of the whole world is alive, not because spring is coming, but because the boy who is not far from me, the love that he unintentionally threw in my heart, has grown buds.

The lights in the hallway came on. The door behind Yi Xu was opened. A couple of teachers came out. One of them came out with a glass of water, and was surprised to see Yi Xu, and said loudly, "Why are you still here?" "It's so loud that it reverberates in the hallway.

I didn't hear what Yi Xu said to him. I saw that the teacher turned around and entered the office, and when he came out, he took a bunch of keys in his hand and walked into the office next door with Yi Xu. The other teachers went downstairs one after another.

I ran over and listened outside the door. Yi Xu's voice was too small for me to hear, but the teacher had a loud temper and was louder, and I heard him say, "What do you want?" It's nonsense! The school has a school system, how can it be based on your temperament to give you this head, and in the future, we teachers don't have to go to class all day long, and we don't have to be busy to death? ”

Zhang Hengli said that I only have a temper with him in the world. But my sister was angry at the time, and I thought I had to help Yi continue to let out this bad breath, and I saw that the door where the teacher was staying was still open, and there was his water cup on the first desk. I grabbed the glass in my hand and went downstairs to wait for it to continue.

I waited quietly under a tree downstairs and left only when I saw him come down. I got to the foot of the hill behind the school, wrapped the glass in a handkerchief, picked up a brick, and smashed it. I thought while smashing, tell you to bully Yi Xu, ask you to bully Yi Xu, and if you dare to bully him in the future, it will not be the cup that will be smashed but you!

Actually, I'm just talking nonsense to myself, and I only have the ability to smash cups secretly. When there is love in my heart, I also have the illusion that I suddenly become stronger.