For many years, the ups and downs of personnel, cold eyes to the world, and idle watching the situation. He? She? It? Always there.

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Reminiscences of the Past (Part I)

Yan Rin has a box, a box with a top treasure.

This box is not made of fine materials, and there is no elaborate carving, it is just an ordinary box.

But Yan Rin liked it and put it next to her pillow, so that she could look at it and touch it every day.

The reason for liking it is simple, because it was given by him.

Of course, Yan Rin is the emperor, and every time he has a birthday, Rong Qian will also give gifts, but in order to prevent his behavior from being too special, Rong Qian gives ordinary gifts every time. It's nothing more than wishful thinking, calligraphy and painting and the like. Although it was also sent by Rong Qian, it didn't have any special significance, Yan Rin put those things in the dormitory as decorations, and when he had leisure, he looked at it, and there was nothing else.

But this box is different.

Yan Rin has not been out of the palace much since she was a child, every time she goes out of the palace, that is, to the Prime Minister's Mansion, she takes a carriage on the road, and she has never really visited the market and felt the life outside the palace.

Yan Rin never complained, because he knew that his safety was very important, and if something happened, many people would be punished, including his appearance. Although he didn't understand why it was dangerous to leave the palace, Yan Rin was still very sensible and didn't make any annoying requests.

But in the end, he couldn't help his curiosity, and on the way to the prime minister's mansion, he lifted the curtain of the carriage.

The first thing he saw was a group of children eating something he had never seen before.

Some of them were a string of red beads, some were snow-white squares, some were golden round cakes......

He had never seen any of those things, but he couldn't help but wonder when he saw the children scrambling to put them in their mouths, and then looking happy and enjoying them extremely much.

So when he saw Rong Qian, he hugged Rong Qian, looking forward to trying it.

Rong Qian looked at him for a long time, didn't say anything, just hugged him very gently, and then, to Yan Rin's delight, that day, Rong Qian held him in his arms all day. Hold him when he walks, take the initiative to let him sit in his arms when he reads, and even help him pick shrimp when eating, and finally go back to the palace with him on the same day and stay in the palace......

So Yan Rin completely forgot about the food outside the palace, and only remembered to enjoy the warm embrace that had been goodbye.

Yan Rin forgot, it doesn't mean that Rong Qian forgot. The next day, Rong Qian, who was originally extremely busy, entered the palace again and brought a box of snacks to Yan Rin.

Then Yan Rin knew, the red beads were called sugar gourds, the snow-white squares were called white sugar cakes, the golden round cakes were called baked cakes, and the box was specially filled with the best rose cake made by Xiangfu and he had always liked it.

Yan Rin was very happy, he had been eating those snacks that day, because Rong Qian told him that those things should not be put in more, and they would break down after a long time. And Rong Qian told him that if he liked it, he would bring it to him next time.

But the next day, Yan Rin ran to tell Rong Qian herself, telling him that she didn't have to bring those things anymore. Because at the court on the second day, several imperial historians of the Imperial Procuratorate admonished, accusing Rong Qian of abusing the etiquette system, bringing filthy things outside the palace into the palace, and polluting the holy face.

Although they are all innocuous words, they will not shake Rong Qian at all, but Yan Rin can't stand Rong Xiang being scolded because of himself, so he took the initiative to say that he didn't want those snacks, he told Rong Qian that those snacks were nothing special, and the things in the palace tasted better than those.

Then he quietly left the box, as long as every time he saw the box, he remembered the taste of those snacks, and he was satisfied. Of course, when Rong Qian entered the palace to see him, he would carefully put away the box, so that Rong Xiang would not see it, and Rong Xiang would not know that he was still missing those snacks.

Later, after a long time, his memory of those snacks faded, but he still kept the box, because he understood that when Rong Xiang sent the things, he already knew that he would be impeached the next day, but he still brought the things.

Every time I thought that Rong Xiang was willing to be scolded for him, Yan Rin felt slightly happy: Rong Xiang, I really like myself. Therefore, he must be more sensible, protect his appearance, and not let others scold him. Little Yan Rin made up her mind, and every time she saw this box, she would silently recite her vows.

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Reminiscences of the Past (Part II)

During these days, Yan Rin has always wanted to see Rong Qian in his heart, but Rong Qian has always been cold to him, and he is a little faintly afraid and worried in his heart, so he wants to explore. But he wanted to be a good boy and pretend to be sensible, so he never bothered Rong Qian.

However, when he heard that a group of old palace people were going to be released from the palace, Yan Rin finally couldn't help it. He offered to give the list of palace people to Rong Qian.

When the first emperor was still a prince, he only married one princess, and she was the only daughter of the prince who controlled one-third of the country's troops at that time. In order to seize the heir and stabilize the power in the army, the first emperor has not set up a side concubine. Later, the first emperor ascended the throne, but before he stabilized the regime, he fell seriously ill, and then he went, and even with the sad transition of the queen, he also followed.

And Emperor Yan Rin's grandfather, who had not many concubines, were all too deeply involved in the matter of seizing the heir, and they were even killed. The one who stays now has the highest quality, and he was actually a concubine back then. Whether it is virtue, qualifications or talents, they cannot be in charge of the harem.

Therefore, while Rong Qian kept the jade seal, he also took the treasure seal of the harem.

Now the matter of the old palace maid leaving the palace also needs him to approve and seal.

Although he can finally see his appearance, Yan Rin has a feeling of timidity. Thinking of Rong Qian's cold words to him in recent days, and thinking of that impatient attitude, Yan Rin put the list of palace people in the box, and went to see Rong Qian with the box.

These days, in the face of Rong Qian's coldness, Yan Rin has been able to support it thanks to this box.

Every day when Rong Qian saw him, he didn't give him a good face, and he could only run back, holding the box, hypnotizing himself over and over again, telling himself over and over again that Rong Xiang was just too busy recently, and he was just annoyed by political affairs a lot, so he would be like this. Rong Xiang will not want him, this box is evidence, Rong Xiang has always remembered Rin'er in his heart and loves Rin'er. You can't be angry with Rong Xiang like this, you can't play a child's temper, you have to be obedient, you have to grow up quickly, help Rong Xiang, and fight side by side with Rong Xiang. Now that Rongxiang is troubled, don't make trouble, don't disturb Rongxiang, and definitely can't drag Rongxiang back......

Day after day......

But Rong Qian's attitude towards him became more and more cold day by day, his face became worse day by day, and his vision became more and more disdainful day by day. Yan Rin had no way to stop it, and she had no power to reverse it at all. Therefore, he can only hold the box every day, put the box on the desk when he is studying literature, put the box on the corridor when he is practicing martial arts, and look at it from time to time as a wordless comfort.

Therefore, at today's moment when he was looking forward to it and at a loss, he would take the box to see Rong Qian.

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As soon as he entered the council hall, he saw Rong Qian reading the recital at the imperial table. As if hearing the movement at the door, Rong Qian glanced up, and when he saw that it was Yan Rin, his brows furrowed, and then he turned a blind eye and continued to bury his head in the twists and turns.

Yan Rin saw that Rong Qian didn't want to see him, but he didn't have any dissatisfaction with being despised, but he was endlessly flustered, afraid that he would really disturb Rong Qian and really anger him.

Tightening the hand holding the box, Yan Rin took a deep breath and strode to Rong Qian's side: "Rong Xiang, the last time there was a palace person in the palace was ten years ago, and it was when the emperor's grandfather was there. Now there are many old women in the palace, and I have always been willing to do the government of benevolence, if I let them all be lonely in the palace, it will not be beautiful. This is the list of palace people set by the king, and please take a look. ”

This passage was said by Yan Rin after thinking about it for a long time and reciting it many times before she could say it so fluently. In order to tell Rong Xiang that he is not small, he can help Rong Xiang solve problems, at least he will not cause trouble and will not drag his feet.

Rong Qian listened to these words, breathed a sigh of relief, and was very happy in his heart, deeply proud that the child he raised was so smart, but his face immediately changed to a disdainful expression, frowned, squinted at Yan Rin, and stretched out a hand: "In this way, the emperor will give me the list." When this sentence was spoken, word by word, it covered up the smugness in his heart, but with his expression, it seemed to be covering up the dissatisfaction of being disturbed.

Yan Rin was stunned for a moment, then hurriedly took out the list from the box and quickly handed it to Rong Qian's hand, lest he make Rong Xiang wait for a long time. I was worried in my heart, and I tried to recall that there was something inappropriate in the words just now, and what action just now annoyed him again.

Rong Qian grabbed the paper handed by Yan Rin, glanced at it quickly, and then took out the treasure seal and covered it. Then, almost with a discarded one, he threw the paper to the corner of the table in front of Yan Rin.

It stands to reason that this list should be properly approved. Although Rong Qian is a foreign minister and is not familiar with the palace maids in the palace, he has to do this face-saving thing, not to mention the list sent by the emperor himself, so he has to ask the emperor's opinion.

But now Rong Qian didn't even bother to do superficial work, so he directly gave the list, which made Yan Rin not know what to do for a while.

Yan Rin was a little dazed, a little at a loss, and a little dumbfounded.

It's that Rong Qian is a little impatient, he has never stayed with Yan Rin much recently, he was determined to snub Yan Rin, but every time he looks at Yan Rin's watery and sad big eyes, he is easy to soften, so now he has made up his mind to stay away from Yan Rin, and when he adapts to this relationship, wait for Yan Rin to stop being so sticky to him, wait until Yan Rin grows up, don't be so pink and tender that people want to poison him, and then face Yan Rin directly, sarcastically mock him, and stimulate him to grow.

So after making up his mind to send Yan Rin away, Rong Qian's brows furrowed tighter, and his tone revealed a trace of impatience that could no longer be suppressed: "I don't know what else the emperor has to do, Weichen is busy with government affairs now, please hurry up." ”

Yan Rin looked at the frost on Rong Qian's face, swallowed his saliva, plucked up his courage, and said carefully: "Rong Xiang, it's almost noon now, Rong Xiang has been busy all morning, why don't you share lunch with me?" ”

Rong Qian frowned, his gaze swept from Yan Rin to the piles of folds, and he pondered for a while, hesitating in his heart: This meal must not be eaten, otherwise the snubbing of these days will be in vain, but if you don't eat it, will you really be hungry? Oh my God, every morning I have to go to the morning court, I have time to drink a bowl of porridge, and now I don't even have lunch, it's so inhumane......

But he maintained a calm expression on his face, and firmly refused: "Don't worry about the emperor, there are still too many chapters to be reviewed here, and I'm afraid I won't have time for lunch today." If there is nothing else to do, please go back, the emperor. ”

Yan Rin was anxious when she heard this, ignoring that Rong Qian had already turned around and buried herself in the folds, took out a hand holding the box, and grabbed Rong Qian's clothes: "Rong Xiang works hard day and night, how can he ignore his body?" If it's a tiring transition, what is the best way? Rongxiang, don't approve it, rest for a while, and then look at it in the afternoon......"

But Rong Qian was not happy, he dragged his clothes but didn't pull them, and then turned his head to look, Yan Rin actually looked serious and anxious, looking at him with a persistent face, Rong Qian gritted his teeth in his heart, dead child, for you, I was forced to starve for noon today, you still don't let go, don't have this expression, pouting, looking at it and wanting to pinch, if it hurts me, how can it be good.

He turned his head away from Yan Rin again, maintaining a stiff tone: "Your Majesty, you are the pride of the sky, how can you do such a rude act." Let it go. Pulled the clothes again, but still didn't pull it, without looking back, he knew that Yan Rin must be the expression that would rather die than look back, Rong Qian was ruthless in his heart, this child has a tough mind, and he is a good material to be a Ming Jun, but it is this stubborn temper, it seems that he must be ruthless.

After thinking about it, he increased the amplitude, used internal force, grabbed the sleeve and flicked it, and shook Yan Rin off.

Yan Rin only felt a sudden strong blow, and he was pushed back two steps before he stabilized. It's just that at this time, the box fell off from his hand, and was faintly collided by Rong Qian's internal force, fell to the ground, and cracked with a "bang".

Yan Rin looked at the cracked box stupidly, her heart was full of shock, her mind was blank, and her face actually showed a trace of despair.

Rong Qian glanced at Yan Rin very puzzled, and then swept the box that had no characteristics, but he really frowned: This child has been holding this box when he came in today, and he won't have a fetish, this is not good, don't say that he is an emperor, as a normal person, he has to nip this habit in the bud, well, it's okay to break it.

He didn't remember the box he had sent him at all.

Only Yan Rin looked at the box stupidly, as if he was treating the most precious treasure, gently held the cracked box in his arms, and then said nothing, and quietly walked out of the council hall.

And Rong Qian is still complacent, this patch is really good, firstly, it has successfully reversed the child's fetish tendency, and secondly, this kid will not have any hope in the future. In the future, I will look at him with those big eyes next to him, so expectant eyes, red face, I want to ravage when I look at it, I want to pinch but can't, this kind of torment is really the most vicious punishment in the world......

And Yan Rin, sitting at the head of the bed with her legs crossed that night, looking at the box at the end of the bed, did not sleep all night.

He felt deeply powerless, whether it was in the face of Rong Qian's coldness or in the face of the collapse of his inner emotions, he was powerless to save and irretrievable.

It wasn't until dawn that Yan Rin came out of that sense of powerlessness, he grabbed his arm, slowly tightened it, and made up his mind: he wants strength, he wants to maintain his strength, he wants to protect the power he loves, and he wants to keep the strength of the feelings he expects, he, to grow up......

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Reminiscences of the Past (Part II)

The box was broken, but Yan Rin didn't throw it away, on the contrary, he still put the box at the head of the bed, and at this time, he didn't have to worry about Rong Qian coming in and seeing the box.

It's not because his determination is different from what it used to be, but because Rong Qian now won't come to his dormitory at all, and he won't come to care about a box.

Today's Rong Qian is arrogant and extravagant, and today's Rong Qian is no longer the Rong Qian who cares about Yan Rin bit by bit.

And Yan Rin, the pursuit of strength is becoming more and more intense, and the unyielding fighting spirit is burning almost crazy.

Every time she saw the wound on the box, Yan Rin would be deeply worried.

Rong Qian, do you know that what you fell at the beginning was not a box, the love between us that you fell, what you fell was my heart.

You know, this wound is not on the box, but on my heart.

You know, this wound is infinitely deeper and wider than it appears to be, and it lies between you and me like that, and cannot be crossed.

You know, we're never going back to the way we used to be.

Rong Qian, will you regret it, regret your indifference, regret your ruthlessness, regret the fall at the beginning?

You will, and even if you won't, I'll make you regret it......

Day after day, Yan Rin faced this box, against that wound, strengthened his beliefs, and engraved his oath in his heart.

He kept uncovering the scars in his heart, ignoring the bloody wounds, ignoring the painful pain.

Because, what he wants is that pain, he wants to remember the harm that Rong Qian did to him before, he can't forget, he has to remember, because he hasn't paid it back, he hasn't started his revenge yet, and he hasn't let Rong Qian regret it!

However, in the end, it was Yan Rin himself who regretted it.

On the day of the shocking change in the law field, Yan Rin was finally carried back to the dormitory, her face was full of tears, her body was covered with blood, her eyes were unfocused, and she was empty.

Since learning that Rong Qian was missing, he hadn't said a word.

The doctor told him to recuperate, not to touch the wound on his buttocks, so he lay on his stomach every night, but when he handled government affairs on weekdays, everything was as usual, without adding a cushion; The imperial doctor told him that he should not use too greasy food, so he did not eat or drink, and later under the persecution of Shi Jingyuan, he drank a bowl of porridge at each meal; The doctor told him that the knot in his heart should not be too heavy and should not be depressed, so he laughed often, handled government affairs as usual, quietly, did not get angry or complained, but just hugged the box every day and used it as a pillow.

Now the box is no longer empty, and there is a piece of clothing in it, which is the yellow robe he wore on the day of the shocking change in the Dharma field. The little blood stains on the yellow robe were all stained from Rong Qian's body.

Yan Rin looked at the box every day, looking at the wound, and now he no longer wants to reveal the scar on his heart, because there has never been a tendency to heal, it has been bleeding constantly, and the pain has been numb, painful to habitual, painful to the point that he is unconscious.

It turns out that this wound is not only scratched on this box, not only on his own heart, but also on his face.

It turned out that the ditch was deliberately drawn by Rong Xiang, and the ditch was not as deep or wide as imagined, but he never tried to cross it.

It turns out that Rong Xiang has been treating himself for ten years, what has changed is himself, and it is himself who betrays.

It's because I'm too cowardly, because I'm afraid of getting hurt, so I don't dare to face Rongxiang, I don't dare to save that feeling, it's because I'm too ignorant and careless, I will ignore Rong's care for him, ignore Rong's dedication to him, it's because I'm too reckless, too impulsive, and never look back, so I will be blinded by the appearance and blindfolded.

Rongxiang, do you know how much I regret it now, how much I want to go back in time and take back that will, I just wish you good health, no matter how arrogant you act and turn the clouds and rain, or talk and laugh in the world, as long as you stand there soundly and smile at me.

Rongxiang, do you know how much I want to go back to the past, if you speak coldly to me, I will stay by your side, pester you, stick to you, don't be a wise man, don't learn government affairs, just stay by your side, in this way, will you stay by my side because of discouragement, and never leave?

You know, look, how much I want to go back to the past, to the days when I was a child, to laugh every day, to rejoice in a reward, to rejoice in a compliment, to spend a few more moments in your arms.

Rongxiang, do you know, I miss you so much, I want to see you, I'm going crazy thinking about it......

Appearance, come back, okay......

Compatible ......

"Your Majesty, are you in there?" A call interrupted Yan Rin's memories, and he hurriedly stood up, trying to hide the box. But on the dragon bed, there was nothing but the quilt and the jade pillow, Yan Rin, who was anxious, blushed, and listened to the footsteps getting closer and closer, so he had no choice but to hide the box in the quilt, just protruding from a piece so hard, looking like he wanted to cover it.

I just wanted to mess up the quilt, but Rong Qian had already come behind him.

"Your Majesty, are you there...... Well...... What are you doing? Seeing Yan Rin's face flushed and standing there helplessly, Rong Qian became curious. This kid has been very mature since he came back, but now he has been in a panic for a long time.

Seeing Rong Qian's gaze behind him, Yan Rin's face turned even redder, and he hurriedly blocked Rong Qian's sight with his body, wanting to push Rong Qian out without saying a word. Although there is nothing unsightly, but when he thinks that he is so childish, he secretly hides a box that is quite a gift, and still holds it as a baby, and after more than ten years, he blushes.

But seeing that Yan Rin's face was as red as an apple, Rong Qian was even more curious, and when he frowned, he suddenly stood weakly and unsteadily.

Yan Rin saw it, and immediately threw the little Jiujiu in his heart out of the clouds, his face turned from red to snow-white, and hurriedly helped Rong Qian to sit down, and the place where he sat down was naturally the nearest bed......

Rong Qian smiled slightly, and took advantage of Yan Rin's lack of reaction, and pulled open the quilt, revealing the box inside.

Rong Qian was dumbfounded, how could it be a box, or a broken box......

Looking at the opening on the box, it seems that he thinks about it a little, it seems that ten years ago, Yan Rin has been holding this box, and he thought that the fetish habit had been nipped in the bud, could it be that for so many years, this child has always been ......

Rong Qian had a chill, no, it must not work, Yan Rin must not be allowed to go on like this, he must be a normal person! Even if this habit has been formed for many years, it must be corrected. How could he allow his child to become a person with a twisted personality......

And Yan Rin looked at Rong Qian's serious face, his eyes gurgling, his face flushed again, and he wanted to explain intermittently: "This box is the ...... that Rong Xiang used to decorate snacks when he brought me food when I was a child" Seeing that Rong Qian's expression was still not relaxed, and there was some period of Ai Ai, "Every time I see it, I will remember Rong Xiang's careful care for me before, so I ......"

Hearing this, Rong Qian breathed a sigh of relief, fortunately, he saw things and thought about people, not a fetish...... It's just that it feels a little weird, what if it's really distorted after a long time, or take precautions......

So, Rong Qian, who had made up his mind, suggested: "Your Majesty, now that I'm back, I don't need to keep this box anymore." And this box has been broken for so long, so it's better to throw it away, or find a place to bury it. ”

Yan Rin looked at Rong Qian, then at the box, held Rong Qian's hand tightly, and stared at his eyes seriously: "Rong Xiang, as long as you promise me that you will never leave again for the rest of your life, I will agree." ”

Rong Qian rolled his eyes in his heart, not to mention whether he has the strength to leave now, even if he wants to leave, I'm afraid Yan Rin won't allow it. But this kid is really ...... Whatever you've been doing lately, you've had to have a little physical contact...... When you talk, you have to hold your hand, when you talk, you have to hold yourself in your arms, and sometimes you will suddenly come to feed a chopstick when you eat...... made that witch scream in her ears every day, saying that she was an emperor and attacked all the people in the world...... And let him prepare, as if he will be eaten and wiped clean in the next moment, I can't stand it...... His child was simply emotional, afraid that he would leave again, so there was a little physical contact, just peace of mind, what did you do......

Although there are some messy things in his mind, he is still comforting with soft words: "Your Majesty, since I have come back, I will not leave again, the emperor can rest assured......"

At this point, a broken box was left alone on the bed, and soon after, it was buried in the earth, never to see the light of day......

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A certain box: Oh my God, can you take that bloody and tearful garment away...... That dress hasn't been washed in 3 years. A certain leopard often hugged it in a daze, and the result became more and more dirty...... Oh my god, I can't stand the smell anymore...... Yes!!! I'm going to be smoked to death......

postscript

Sprinkle flowers~~~ lala, finally finished writing~~~

I cried, I was expecting to write a 2K, but then I decided on a plan, and it felt like I would write 3K...... The results are now ...... Looking at the sky...... Where do these words come from?!!!

And I feel very out of shape lately, and I'm grinding and grinding every day...... I died of pain when I wrote it......

So, to sum up, although I occasionally know that this article is too badly written, but everyone still taps it when they PIA......

Of course, if you want to whip it to death, then pump it hard, it's just right to smoke to death, and then you can even rely on that gift from BB ~quack~~~

That's right.,Even the typos are quite a lot.,Even right.,But I don't know how much is left.,Everyone sees it and ignores it.,Anyway, it's not a homonym or an approximate sound.,It's good for everyone to understand...... Sweat......