Chapter 15: Descent into Hell

When I was asleep, a feeling of palpitations came, and my face changed all of a sudden, although I didn't move, but all the humiliating and unwilling past events in my heart surfaced.

How so?

What the hell is wrong with me? I lifted the quilt and sat up, and when I looked up, I saw that the things in the room had suddenly turned black and white, oh my god?

My mind keeps coming back to me like a slideshow from my childhood to adulthood.

I was bullied for no reason, and when they knocked me to the ground, the smug smile on my face, and my hateful teeth itched: "Fight back, why don't you fight back!" Looking at myself crying on the ground, I was so angry that I was going to die, but I knew that this was all in the past and could not be changed.

The scene turned to the orphanage, and a group of people laughed and watched the video of me chattering, which was filmed by my best friend, and it was circulated throughout the orphanage at that time. When I heard others talking about me, I panicked, but I was helpless, because this thing was true, how could I justify it with others?

Another scene, I was working in a bun shop, the boss's mobile phone was lost, and the monitor said that only I went into his office, I said I didn't take it, and the boss slapped me in the mouth one after another, and then the boss's mobile phone rang in the bathroom, and then I knew that it was not my steal. The boss not only did not apologize, but still fired me, saying: Although I didn't steal it, but my hands and feet are still not clean, otherwise why do so many people only suspect me?

In a factory black workshop, we produce pork sausages, and dead pigs brought from all over the country produce ham sausages here, which are marked with the mark of authenticity and sold to rural areas all over the country. One of the jobs is to go to the warehouse to unload the truck, the car is full of casings, that is, the plastic packaging of intestines, the factory is far away, they don't come, they would rather clean the factory than come to help me, I myself pull the wheel is not very good to go back and forth between the warehouse and the factory, they also scolded me that I was too slow to delay the output, and even more, when I got off work, I covered my head with a woven bag, and beat me up.

In a computer shop, an old lady came to repair the computer, the computer was fine, but the memory module inside was new, the boss asked me to replace the old one, I didn't change it, and when the old lady was sent away, the boss and two other guys beat me all over the body with a mop pole.

The latest is that after I was possessed, I touched the mayor Tie T's daughter, and now when I open any web page, I don't respect Tie T's beliefs, countless people search for me on the Internet, they want to kill me, kill me, admire me, say anything on the Internet, and some people say that even this kind of person dares to think and dare to do, and it is my idol.

I don't know when I came back to the hotel, and I kept thinking about these things, and I couldn't stop turning them over and over, what was wrong with me? Why was this happening, so many dusty memories exploded, my heart beat faster, and my spirit was tense.

Sometimes I want to rush up and fight with the people who bully me, and sometimes I am scared to death, and I look around vigilantly, afraid that people will find here.

Angry, scared, sensitive, vulnerable, and can't cry.

I don't know how long it took me to hear Jin Toad calling me: "What time is it, why don't you go to dinner?"

I looked at the door and suddenly didn't dare to open it, what if I went out and someone found out? What if I was filmed by the surveillance and someone else knew my exact location?

What can I do in this life? Am I not wasted in this life?

Just because she was the mayor's daughter, my life was ruined.

I can't let them find me, I look at the wall, I look at the corner of the table, I hit it like this, it's a hundred times, it's great, so that they only find my body, so they can't hurt me anymore.

But I'm afraid of pain......

What if I don't die?

I opened my phone and Google, how to commit suicide, looked at it and found a web page, which was full of the endings of people who attempted suicide, and found that they lived even more miserably, and they used to have good looks, but now they are completely invalid.

It's painful to be alive, and I can't die yet, so I got up from bed unwillingly, and planned to go out to have a look, and check whether there were any flaws in the beard on my face before going out.

I randomly found a restaurant and called a rice bowl, it smelled very fragrant, and it tasted very bitter in my mouth, I looked around, no one paid attention to me, this should not be my enemy's doing, but why is it tasteless?

I took another bite and it still didn't taste, so I put salt, salt, salt, and vinegar.

I was sad to find that I couldn't eat at all, no matter what I ate, it was bitter, and I would be hungry if I didn't eat, so in the daze of the proprietress I ate the rice bowl with a lot of salt and vinegar, and it tasted like chewing wax.

I went out for a walk, bought and ate whatever I saw, and even the more disgusting fried insects I swallowed, not salty, no fragrance, just a mouthful of bitterness.

Until Jin Toad reminded me: "It's already a stomachache, why are you still eating." ”

When I stopped, I didn't know what I was doing, so I went to the park to sit and bask in the sun.

"Brother Toad, do you notice anything different about me?"

Jin Toad said: "You have a lot of different places today, how can you get it?"

I said, "Can you spot any abnormalities in me?"

Jin Toad said: "I feel that there is something wrong with your soul, and I haven't found anything else." ”

"Something is wrong with the soul?" I pondered Brother Toad's words, and it didn't take long for those things to come back to my mind.

Humiliation, unwillingness, anger, anger, fear several negative emotions hit again, if you look at me carefully, my hand is shaking, it is a physical reaction mixed with anger and fear, the trembling when I am angry, is I remember the humiliation of the past, I want to hit someone, but I don't know who to hit, so the hand is raised and put down, the trembling of fear is that I want to hold my head and body, because I feel that someone is going to beat me and torture me, but there is nothing in front of me, I raise my hand and put it down.

What's wrong with me? It's painful...... It's really painful.

After a few more hours of stupefiing, I felt like my head was going to explode, and I didn't have time to think about what was going on.

I couldn't breathe, my heart was stinging all the time, and I had to breathe big enough to keep it from suffocating.

Many people think that hell is under the earth, a place that goes straight to the center of the earth, but in fact, I tell you that hell is not in the sky, not in the earth, not in the other world, but hell is on earth, in everyone's heart.

If you're happy, you're happy, you're proud, then you're in heaven.

You're angry, you're sad, you're afraid, these negative emotions are tormenting your heart, and you can't stop, it's hell.

Heaven and hell are all on this earth, and the three overlap to build this society.

I couldn't do anything, my own body, my own brain, but I couldn't make him stop, what a wonderful irony.

I can't remember what I want to remember, I can't forget what I want to forget, there is something wrong with the brain design, what kind of mechanism is this, Nuwa has a flaw in creating people!!