Before the winter began, my father wrapped himself in a winter jacket early, and when he was in bed, he was covered with two quilts. I will take out an hour or two every day to do nothing quietly by my father's side, and occasionally I will make a few small poems according to Erniang's words to read to him, my father seems to like my poems very much, I don't know if I really like it or because I wrote it. It wasn't until a long time later that I found clues in my father's notebook, the first half of the notebook is basically about my mother's Yu's true feelings, my father's mother is lively and cheerful and eccentric, and her appearance is peerless, and she has been selected into the top three of the list of unmarried men in Chang'an. Although I am disabled, the way I look at the paintings can still confirm what my father said. The most important thing is that my mother loves to write poetry, please refer to me for what level it is.

Anyway, in my father's eyes, my mother's poems are written well, and I write them as well as my mother's.

The second half of the note is mostly about our sisters and Erniang, and occasionally a few are memories of our mother's parents. I think that my mother is the unforgettable heart of my father's first half of life, and my second mother is my father's second half of life.

I squatted in front of the stove to decoct the medicine, and Erniang turned into a cook and was busy around the stove. I forgot to say, my second mother was a famous chef in Chang'an before marrying my father, and her cooking skills are very good, even the chef in the imperial dining room is only compared with my second mother, if Chang'an has a list of the best good wives and mothers, my second mother will be the top of the list. I guess my father may just like a woman with a skill, first his mother's literature comforted his soul, and then he was captured by the skilled second mother. Women, there must be a skill to conquer men, otherwise men themselves will not be able to convince themselves to fall in love with you.

When the ingredients are put into the pot, the smoke is everywhere.

Erniang shuttled through the curling smoke, agile and energetic, like a general charging on the battlefield.

"Ahh

The sound of the oil and the moisture on the ingredients is instantaneous.

Erniang said: "Imperial Doctor Guan will definitely stay for dinner today, right? I went to the market to buy vegetables as soon as it was dawn."

I said: Yesterday I told the second master that you should make food for him, so that he must keep his belly.

Erniang said: Shan'er, will you starve people to the imperial doctor if you talk like this?

I said, "How can he listen to me, he will eat when he is hungry."

Erniang said: That's good, that's good, Erniang made Taoist ancestral secret braised pork today, and you loved to eat it when you were a child.

I said, "I love to eat, but anyone who has licked a little bit of it can't stop it."

Erniang's smile trembled, and the crow's feet at the corners of her eyes could really kill flies.

Erniang said: Guan Imperial Doctor is a good person.

I fanned the stove and said, "The doctor must be well, otherwise how dare we give them our lives."

Erniang said: Guan Imperial Doctor is not generally good.

I said: "People are imperial doctors, they must be unusual."

Erniang said: It's even more unusual for you.

I was about to run away with the stove in my hand.

Erniang said: Don't run, chop vegetables for me.

I said: I don't know how to use a knife.

Erniang said: Nonsense, I see you carrying a small dagger in your arms every day.

I said: the dagger will, the knife will not.

Erniang said: People can cut it, but they can't cut vegetables? Come on, come on, Erniang will teach you.

Ah, Erniang is really a good knife worker, the pork belly on the cutting board is torn apart under her skilled knife work, and each knife is cut according to the texture of the meat meridians. Erniang's momentum with a steel knife is not inferior to the chivalrous people on the rivers and lakes, and I am afraid that killing people is like chopping melons and vegetables.

After the demonstration, I took the steel knife and cut the cucumber in front of me with a big cut, each cucumber is half a finger thick, it is much easier for me to kill than to cut vegetables, at least I don't have to worry about cutting my own fingers.

Erniang waved a spatula and commented on my knife work: The cut is so thick, is it possible that Shan'er can't get his hands on a cucumber?

I said, "I can't do anything to the cucumber, I can't do it to myself."

Erniang said: Hahahahaha, put it down, don't make a mess for me.

Seeing that Erniang was willing to let me go, I immediately put down the steel knife and picked up the fan and continued to squat by the stove to decoct the medicine. But today's decoction of this medicine is particularly painful, Erniang while stir-frying while discussing with me how the imperial doctor is good, how to take care of me, the implication is that the second master is interesting to me. Then he turned to ask me if I was also interested in the second master, but I really didn't understand what the so-called meaning was because of the hazy feelings.

Erniang said that I was as emotionally unenlightened as my soon-to-be-born father. I don't think that's right, I used to be the first enlightened teenager in the Valley of Despair, but my body and mind have been torn apart by Yi Rong Dan, and my life is off the track and speeds in a direction that I can't control. Looking at my father, although he doesn't have three wives and four concubines, he is also a person who has married two ladies, no matter how you think about it, it is not a piece of wood, at most it is a stuffy gourd with a rich heart. Alas, women are often deceived by men's appearances, especially those who seem to be shrewd and beautiful.

Erniang said: Shan'er, your father and I have always been worried about you. Your child has experienced a bunch of strange things since he was a child, and he has suffered a lot silently, and Erniang knows it. So since I was a child, your father and I have been particularly partial to you, but Erniang knows that no amount of preference can heal the injuries you have suffered. Erniang felt uncomfortable when she saw your mask, why did this damn god do this to my child.

As she spoke, Erniang's voice was a little stalky.

I said: It's okay Erniang, I'm used to it.

Erniang put down the spatula, and a pair of hands with loose skin and scars of time gently stroked my cold crescent white jade mask, and the smell of seasoning remained in the palms of her hands.

Erniang said: My poor Shan'er sacrificed herself, but the girl in the painting is not satisfied, she wants all the favor, she wants freedom, and she wants those things that are simply impractical. You didn't know a lot of things when you left home since you were a child, and your sister has been clamoring to learn art from a teacher since she was a child. But, how can your father and I be so nonsense from her, how can you say that a lady can think about what kind of martial arts all day long!

I was amazed at this, the Jiang painting in Erniang's mouth was completely different from the one I vaguely remembered about her.

Erniang said: Your father and I are both businessmen who do their duty, not seeking wealth and nobility, but seeking peace, just asking her to be a knowledgeable lady and wait until she goes out of the cabinet to marry a good family. But she just ate lard and blinded her heart, and she was bent on comparing with you.

I wondered: compare with me?

Erniang said: Your father is rough and didn't notice it, but your Erniang is not bad, I can see clearly what the girl has in mind. Since childhood, she will do what you do, she can only have what you don't have, not what you have. You followed the master at that time, but she cried for three days and three nights and argued that she would go to the Valley of Despair to worship your master as a teacher, if I hadn't stopped her, the consequences would have been unimaginable.

After listening to this, I suddenly realized that I knew almost nothing about my sister, and that as a child I only coveted her face, and never paid attention to what was going on in her heart. I think that this psychology of surpassing me in everything may have something to do with my father's preference for me, or maybe there is some reason I don't know. In short, after listening to Erniang's words at the bottom of the box, I was even more confused about the situation. I have been away from home for too long, and the deepest impression of Jiang Hua is still in my childhood, the carefree and smiling little girl.

Erniang said that she couldn't finish talking about Jiang Hua for three days and three nights, so she didn't think about her for the time being, and ate the meal first.

In fact, he just wanted me to accompany the second master to eat.

Around the time of the unitary, the sky was getting dark, and the second master came to eat with a pot of elixir and jade liquid.

This time, the second master changed his normal way to eat and devoured food, which shows that he is really hungry. On the other hand, I didn't have a good appetite today, so I only ate a few pieces of secret braised pork and gave up. Erniang will pick up vegetables for the second master, and pour wine for him for a while, and she is very attentive.

The second master stopped his chopsticks and asked: Why don't you eat?

Erniang said: Eat, eat, come, try this pumpkin steamed lily.

I propped my head and watched the second master eat with relish.

Erniang asked: How old is Imperial Doctor Guan this year?

The second master said: Twenty.

Erniang said: Oh, it's about the same age as my family. Does the imperial doctor have a family?

The second master said: I have never married a wife.

Erniang said: Ah, is there a sweetheart?

The second master said: No.

Erniang was just about to open her mouth to ask something more, but I suddenly stood up with a serious expression.

I said, "It's boring."

The two of them looked at me blankly.

I said: stop talking, the dishes are cold, eat.

Erniang quietly stuck to my ear and asked: It's really boring?

I said, "It's boring."

Erniang muttered: What a good young man, why are you boring.

......