My name is Zhang Mofan, I am 18 years old and I am in my third year of high school. I was born in Dalian, a coastal city in northern China, a city that is clean and romantic in the eyes of others, but a chaotic, noisy and dirty city in my eyes.

Because of my parents' genes, I was born with a height of 190mm and a weight of 90 kilograms. But it is probably also the genetic relationship between my parents, I inherited both my father's shyness and humility, and my mother's unbending temper, which made me even when I reached adolescence at the age of 18, I have not learned how to make friends.

I'm not good at socializing, let alone girls, even boys, as long as it's a stranger, I instinctively think of how to avoid it first, rather than finding an excuse to talk to me. Even if it is a familiar friend, because of my strong temper, I will always stubbornly argue about a truth, and finally get a big displeasure. All in all, I don't make friends.

My parents used to be very troubled by this incident and repeatedly taught me how to make new friends, but I always stubbornly retorted: Why don't they take the initiative to hand me over, but let me take the initiative?

Over time, the parents let it go. Dad once said that when I didn't grow up, I wouldn't feel the importance of friends, but people always have to grow up and always have to face society. Dad is a very unsociable person, so he suffers a lot and doesn't want me to be like him.

Actually, I just like to be free and uninhibited. In addition to family affection, I don't want to add more fetters to myself, and if there are fetters, there will be troubles, and there will be too many scruples and worries, which I don't like. As soon as I told my mother this, my mother was so angry that she said, you have this mentality, you can become a monk and Taoist.

What's wrong with monks and Taoists, idle clouds and wild cranes, looking down on the wind and clouds, no copper smell, no shopping malls, no officialdom, no trivial things in the world, two sleeves come and go without worry, how carefree and chic. Although the road he said he pursued tirelessly was ridiculous, I insisted that people need to be supported by faith, and people cannot live without faith. People without faith have no soul, no direction, no awe, and walking around this world as a walking corpse is boring to think about. Monks and Taoists at least have faith, have always been steadfast, and do not tolerate blasphemy, so there is nothing to look down on. Of course, I just think about these words, and I don't dare to say them to my mother, otherwise there will be more severe and endless preaching.

In this world, Mom and Dad are my dearest relatives.

Dad is 51 years old this year, he is a modest person, he has been studying since he was 14 years old, he has been in high school and university in other places, and he has stayed in other places after work, and he has landed here. Dad always said that he longed for the old brick house, where he kept the most and best memories of his life. But because of the pressure of work and life, I can't go back to see it. Dad is a good man, Gu, good temper, always very patient when educating me, but I always can't listen.

In comparison, I am more afraid of my mother. Mom is a strong woman, according to Dad, the temper is the same as my deceased grandfather, strong, stubborn, others have to follow her opinion, otherwise it is wrong. Dad said that before they got married, Mom was still more obedient to Dad, but after getting married, her true nature was exposed, and she called my dad back and forth. Actually, I also think that my dad is a bit submissive to my mom, but who says it's not a perfect combination.

My mother has always wanted me to be a son since I was a child, and she was very strict with me in life and things, and once she did something wrong, she criticized me very seriously, so I felt both attached and afraid of my mother since I was a child.

In addition, the dearest is my grandma, since I was born, my grandma took me, and I worked hard until I went to middle school, and my grandma finally got tired and left.

After my grandmother left, I was so sad that I cried all day in my grandmother's house holding my grandmother's pillow, shouting "give my grandmother back", and finally my voice became hoarse. Although my mother was also very sad, it was really not a way to see me like this, so she dragged me out, and saw that the pillow I was crying on was wet, and the two of them hugged and cried together.

My grandmother's death really hit me hard, I deeply realized that people can't win the sky, people will die when they are old, and some things are really lost anymore, I experienced powerlessness and despair.

In my father's old age, I still had my grandfather and grandmother, but for me, they meant more symbolism than reality. I've seen them only a handful of times since I was a kid. They were like strangers to me, and it was hard to say how deep they were.

But I know that they are very important people to Dad, Dad One