Dear Wang Xiaoman,

Sorry, we seem to have missed it.

Now that I think about it, I was actually stupid.

That year, you also liked me, but I was always jealous and angry because of a little thing.

You rarely complain, but I nag you about all nonsense, and you listen to me like my "tree hole" to say that all parents are short and unhappy.

Even my grandparents complained to you, but you always comforted me and said that it was their way of getting along, and that was their way of getting along.

I will be jealous of you for your "theory" because you sent a red envelope of eight yuan to "life", and you will send me 88 yuan, so that I will not be sulking anymore.

When everyone posted a large string of texts asking for red envelopes in the circle of friends on a certain festival, I also forwarded a message: 52 yuan for new love, 52 yuan for old love, 18.88 yuan for friends, and 6.66 yuan for relatives......

You must have seen the news posted by my circle of friends, so you sent me a red envelope of 52 yuan and wrote: For the old love.

At that moment, my heart was sour, and I was jealous and thought: Do you have a new love?

So I gave you a red envelope back, note: for the new love.

For months, we coded words together, and I always called the male gods of our group to come and spell together in the room where the two of us were happy to code, just to tell them that I have you.

I was originally very slow to type, and my inspiration was not good, and I just learned to write male frequency fantasy, as Xiaobai said, this book is too "formatted", not as good as the original random writing.

But one day we all wrote about "Lingquan", so you said, "Which of us writes beautifully?"

I rejoiced in my heart, even though I typed in full spelling, and Mandarin was not good, and the speed was very slow.

But because you said such a thing, my thoughts flowed, and inspiration followed, and I wrote it easily.

I always want to write a little better than you, so that I won't be underestimated by you - but I didn't do it on purpose, and when I was with you, for some reason, the inspiration was very good, and the plot development was handy and fast.

In order to compete with you in terms of codeword speed, I opened VIP - just because it can "open a small room", so that I can supervise your minute-by-minute codeword dynamics.

Of course, you can also supervise me.

I open a small window every day when I code words, and pay attention to your code word speed at any time, for fear of falling behind you and letting you look down. If the network is not good and your speed does not move, I will send you a message and ask you what you are doing!

And you always say: stuck.

Sometimes your word count doesn't change, and when I ask you, you say, "It's dropped!"

Well, no matter what you say, I'll take you for it - I don't understand the software in the first place.

When I told Chunjie about you, his first reaction was: Don't look for code words, it's not interesting, and the second reaction was: Wang Xiaoman must be married, Xingchen has seen him, so old.

The day he told me, I immediately asked you, "Are you married?"

But you say, "No." ”

Well, I hesitated and contradictory to talk to Yueyue about you - at that time, Yueyue hadn't opened her own book and was writing in the studio. I remember that in the middle of the night, two little women who stayed up late to write articles video chatted, comforting each other and laughing. I haven't seen her for more than a year, not only did she open her own book, but the book was also adapted into an online movie, which was really happy for her.

One day, she asked me, "Are you married to the great god?"

And although I was physically and mentally exhausted, I said to her, "No, it's a classmate." ”

She knew how much I liked you that year, and she would talk to her about you and relieve her sorrows during the countless free hours when she was jealous.

Not only her, but also "Hongyan", and even the little masters in the 3G female frequency spelling group.

At that time, the beauties opened the record of 20,000 yards a day, which was convincing.

Once, our group lost the number of words in the code that week and was punished for singing. The winning beauties ordered a song and asked us to sing "Chicken Beep", and I felt difficult after learning it twice, so I listened to Zhang Liangying's "Wordless Tablet". After learning it a few times, I learned to use the "Sing" recording and then forwarded it to the group.

Anyway, I reported everything to you every day at that time - small talk was also our "routine", and even became a habit.

Speaking of "Daily", I suddenly remembered a certain god in our 17K second group, opened a book called "The Daily Life of the Second Group", and invited each of our authors to write an article. Of course, I also wrote.

Originally, no one knew I was a girl.

It's like fruit and my friend said to me when he started a book friend group: I thought you were a boy.

Well, I don't know why he came to such a conclusion? I posted a big "wedding photo" like that. Qi Heng said to me: "I have taken more than a dozen wedding photos, and there are several different girls. ”

Ha ha!

When he said that, I wondered if I should find more people to take some different styles of "wedding photos"?

Although I have that heart, I don't have that courage - after all, I'm not a graphic model, and I'm not the cool "woman" in my own article, let alone the "queen" of purity, just an "innocuous little woman".

Now that I think about it, there should be a lot of girls who write fantasy - although I wrote this fantasy book too, "four dislike" looks. In fact, as long as this volume is "cut", it is still a "fantasy" text.

On the day he saw Xingchen, he brought two very thin male authors, and he was very tired that day - in fact, all online writers are like this, just like I occasionally go out to ride a bicycle to take a photo, and I have super heavy bags under my eyes.

Because writing essays, especially fantasy essays, requires a lot of ideas.

First of all, there is the world view: interface (time, space, dimension), geography (continents, oceans, mountains, rivers), geology (treasures - natural mineral veins, water, oil, natural gas, volcanoes, etc., artificially opened up treasures), countries (calendars, changes of dynasties, customs and culture, religious beliefs, clothing characteristics, popular hair accessories, character characteristics, family inheritance, educational characteristics, etc.), occupations (innate physique, training methods, level settings), currency conversion in various countries and even interfaces, There are many complicated things such as the advancement of cultivation exercises......

Anyway, it's hard to say in a word, and all kinds of things that need to be considered must be taken into account, not as simple as the reader thinks, and write it casually.

Once you write an essay, you will be so busy that you don't have time to think about other things, let alone go out for a walk, let alone listen to anyone's gossip.

To put it mildly, I don't even have time to play with friends.

But everyone has their own way of life and dreams, doesn't they?

I don't like to talk about other people's business, so I don't care what people say about me, and I don't want to care about other people's lives—does it have anything to do with me?

No.

It's not that we're all fighting for our future, and there's not much time for gossip.

I never wanted to hurt anyone, and I never hurt anyone.

In the same way, I can forgive the "weak" hurt, even though I am a very petty woman, and I will keep this "hurt" in my heart forever - if it does not touch my bottom line, I can forgive and do not care.

However, if it touches my bottom line, then I'm sorry, I will protect this "bottom line" in my own way.

I'm not a "god", I'm just an ordinary woman, I have my own seven emotions and six desires.

At the same time, I'm sorry, I don't have any religious beliefs.

I am not against anyone's religion, nor am I hostile, I am just a faint speck of dust among all living beings.

I only know that when people live, they must learn to survive, and only after they can survive can they talk about life, and only after they have life can they talk about the quality of life.

And everything has a "time limit", and at the moment when I decided to write an essay on retreat, I didn't want to regret it for the rest of my life - I decided that I didn't even want children in this life.

The idea is, "What am I qualified to have a child?" What can I give a child?

Is it just for the sake of succession?

The human race multiplies, and there is no less than one of me.

When I can't give my child some kind of inheritance, I "create" him, which is a waste of "earth" resources, and even more "harmful" him.

If you want to have a child, shouldn't you think about his future?

Do you think that giving a piece of life is a gift?

Wrong!

If you can't give your child a "future", you're not qualified to give birth.

Giving a "life" is not a gift, but in a sense, a "sin."

Some people may say that this kind of thinking is "unfounded", but it is not, "The earth is alive, isn't it?"

Anyway, I regret having a child, let alone with him - it wouldn't have been, he did it on purpose. asked him to buy a condom, but he didn't, and said: "They all say that if you can't afford to conceive, I don't believe in evil, I want you to have a child." ”

I'd met him a few times before this, but we were just classmates, even though I had helped him with his daughter.

At that time, I was always reporting to you about my trip, and you were messaging me at one or two o'clock in the middle of the night for the first time - I know you were worried about my safety at that time.

It's all because I can't speak, and on the day you suddenly didn't send me a message saying "good night", I sadly asked you, "Why don't you say good night?"

You reply to me: I'm not your boyfriend, there's no need for something like that.

I didn't know what to say, "You're my boyfriend."

That's why you said: habits need to be changed.

So I found a post about "habit" on the Internet and went to Moments, wanting to tell you that I don't want to break that habit, and I don't want you to break that habit.

But you were very determined, but at that time I said that you were "inferior". In fact, the person with "low self-esteem" has always been me.

......

On November 11th, I don't know how many times I sulked with you, and opened "Emperor Mengzhi Overturned the World", it happened that Xu Mengnuan (Xiao Tianzhen), his girlfriend who had been online for two years in the little innocent player clan, was breaking up with him, and at the same time he was angry with you that day, so he deliberately changed his couple avatar with Gu Yu to be angry with you.

I didn't get angry, but it caused us to be hostile to each other in the Cold War, so I blocked you.

But I felt that something was wrong in my heart, and I got you out again.

......