I've done this several times.

Under the psychological effect of such "contradictions", as soon as I discussed with Xiao Wuxie, we planned to write a book together to vent the "emotions" of "breaking up".

A few days after Shuangkai, you suddenly took the initiative to ask me, "What are you doing?"

I said, "Double open." ”

Just like before you blocked me this year, I asked you what you were doing, and you replied to me "double open", which is generally the same.

Since then, there has been no news.

However, I saw that the editor-in-chief of China Literature has a handsome promotional photo that is somewhat similar to yours - you used to say that you want to read a lot of books, and you all like to read a lot of books, as if I don't like to read.

Suddenly I feel like I'm a "waste material", which disappoints you and disappoints yourself.

......

You know that a lot of what I wrote at that time was because of you—I started writing poems for you, lyrics for you, feelings for you, scripts for you, and books for you.

He also burns incense and lights lamps for you to worship the Buddha, prays for the stock to rise, and prays for peace and health......

At that moment, don't you just ask me what I'm doing when you're done with the code?

Aren't you also worried about my safety outside?

Won't you message me until one or two in the morning?

Don't you also say that you have never been so happy?

......

Because we code words together every day, it seems that we can no longer tolerate anyone, and you are a happy and simple person, so I have confessed to you lightly, but you always say: "I'm afraid of delaying you." ”

At the beginning of the Year of the Monkey, I, like other writers and readers, are making a fuss and saying to you: Shall we have a monkey?

And I'm not joking, I'm telling you in all seriousness – even though I haven't met you.

So, I want to have a baby with you before I become a high-risk pregnant woman.

I feel like your lifestyle and schedule are what I need.

In that way, we can code words together every day, and I will also have the opportunity to show my "cooking skills" to you who often eat white "stews", and taste them in a different way; you can teach me to write Xianxia Wen, and I can write for you after reading; you can continue to be a "cashier", and I can help you spend money; you can concentrate on coding words and be busy making money, and I can help you enlighten your father, so that he is not afraid of taking a car, let alone a plane. I can also be super gentle with you, take care of you, and when we finish the book, we can go out together to see and learn, and by the way, take your dad with you, and use the iPad to help us take pictures. You can also teach me how to write books to make money, or teach me how to be your "cashier" and teach me many things I don't understand......

Or I can join you in eating what your dad called a "nasty stew......

In fact, your father doesn't need you to take care of you at all, he takes care of you.

On the subway in Shanghai, I seem to see your father.

Or maybe it's your dad's classmate or friend!

I was leaving Shanghai that day, and he suddenly got on the subway and yelled at me who was listening to music with headphones on and some dialect - I didn't understand anyway, and I vaguely felt that he was talking about "seats".

I took one of my headphones and replied, "There are no seats again." ”

So one of my sisters in front of me got up from her seat, and he sat down triumphantly, and comfortably took out his IPAD with a red holster and fought the landlord.

The red coat is the same as the red shoes you wear. AT THAT MOMENT, I REMEMBERED THAT YOU SUDDENLY SAID TO ME ONE NIGHT, "MY DAD IS SO ANNOYING, HE WANTS ME TO USE MY IPAD TO HELP HIM BUY THINGS." ”

On that day, we seemed to be playing games together - on the day I came back from Shanghai, in order to charge my mobile phone, I went to a nearby Internet café, and I logged in to the game we played together, and all my friends were offline.

And your lowercase pinyin name, as well as your yellow-brown robot figure, make me want to laugh - that day my teammates used the game term "*" me, and I explained aggrievedly, and after a while, you began to "scold" him, which is funny.

Why do you think two people who are running for four can play with elementary school students?

Why is it that everyone can "twist their butts" because they won the game at that time?

But at that moment, you always said, "I'm afraid of delaying you." ”

On the day I decided to let go, I had a dream that I ran to your house and gave you "cold salad and folded ear root" to eat, so I told you: I can help you take care of your father.

Because you said: my dad is worried about everything, my brother is also worried about driving, and he is also afraid of taking a plane and train. I don't think it's right, it's not right.

And my answer was: My mom is like this, hypochondriasis.

At that time, I also told you: When my house is finished, I will show you - I will paint three oil paintings by myself and hang them in it.

But when I've been doing a lot of things to prove how much I like you, you've pushed me away three times.

Well, everything that was supposed to be is gone.

It's not that there is no need to exist, but that "unexpected" events cause the "planning" to deviate from the "track".

Ahhh

You get up every day to look at the stocks, ten and a half or eleven o'clock to start the code words, three thousand words one watch before eating; in the afternoon with your father to watch TV (this is what your apprentice said) and look at stocks, four and a half or five o'clock to start the second watch, around seven o'clock to get three thousand words to eat, if you meet Kaven you are slower than me; eat and continue the third watch, usually around ten o'clock to get done. At this time, if there is no other arrangement, you can play League of Legends for an hour, and at 11 o'clock your father will call you to bed.

Your father likes to "stew" everything, and you feel that you eat too badly, not even as good as pigs and dogs.

So I made some dishes and took photos and sent them to the circle of friends to "tempt" you, and specially told you: I will cook a lot of dishes. Deliberately reveal some information to you: I can make it for you to eat.

I specially sent a message to ask you: When I have long hair and waist, can you marry me?

When I'm still tired, I ask you: If I don't work so hard, I don't know if anyone will support me?

You reply to me: I don't know.

In fact, in my opinion, you should have been happy in your heart at that time.

So I secretly vowed that I would not cut my hair, and that I must finish writing quickly, enough to write 8 million words, and by the way, my hair will be saved. In that way, our books will almost be finished together, and you will definitely marry me when the time is over.

That year, I complained to you a lot, complained about everything, and complained so much that I don't know if you listened to what I said.

Anyway, I hate people who are guarded, and since they are guarded, don't approach in the name of love, right?

If you get closer, but in the name of love, you blame the other party and question "disloyalty", it is really ridiculous.

Since I don't trust it, since I have hurt me, then such a person should be punished accordingly, not "being good and being bullied", but that every "citizen" of us should be "protected" by the justice of the law.

As I said: I dare to do it, so why should I be afraid of people saying it. Besides, I don't care what others say, is the "me" in other people's words really "me"?

In many cases, it is easy to misunderstand because of the difference in distance and the understanding of words.

This is understandable, after all, people have different ability to understand with different education.

There are no two people in the world who are exactly the same, only willing to tolerate and spoil.

Those who have hurt me and have not trusted me should disappear from my world, and they will not even be qualified to talk to me.

Don't talk about blood relations, so that all people on earth are descendants of the same woman 100,000 years ago.

She, coordinates South America!

I should understand and protect all the people who have defended me with all my love and life, no matter what they have done that I can't understand, right?

This year, I know exactly who loves me the most – so I should live more clearly and love her well in the future.

It's far away, and finally I will emphasize again: I read the post of the management of the recruitment book review area, and I was asked to write a long review at that time, so I had a long feeling after reading.

And I also said: I have a lot of time to write your reflections.

A lifetime, isn't it a long time?

Is it possible to write all the works under your two pseudonyms?

When you were in charge of the book city, your father appeared a few times, and I didn't delete his comments - because you didn't, I'm sure it was your father.

Well, I'm sorry that I deleted my own messy book review at the time, and I didn't even read your reply.

At that time, I was really scared, and after being isolated from the outside world for a while, something unexpected suddenly happened, and I was very scared of everything, and I was at a loss.

My psychological quality may be really bad, as I said when I talked to Mo Yandao on the phone: I live in a farmland reserve, I am afraid that everything will become "artificial intelligence", everyone else will move away, and what will happen to me who is left here in the end?

I don't know anything about the rhythm.

If it's all stray dogs, how am I going to feed them and keep them alive with me?

I can't fix machines, I can't connect wires, I can't connect water pipes, I can't fly airplanes and spray pesticides, I can't drive cars or fix cars, I can't assemble robots, I can't make money, I can't be coquettish, I can't entertain......

Ahh

After coming out of the hospital, on a rainy spring morning, I looked blankly at the fast-growing trees, and the green mountains made me think I was in the fairy tale world of your immortal lord.

Again, Mianzhu's Ankang Hospital is also called a geriatric hospital – even though it is a hospital that treats a range of mental and neurological conditions such as insomnia.

At that time, I had insomnia and all kinds of anxiety: how to raise and educate my children, how to continue writing books, how to make movies and cartoons, how to support a team?

......

Insomnia, too, is normal, isn't it?

I asked you on WeChat: Is the sleeping pill my mother gave me the same medicine your father gave you? Because you often have insomnia when you write books - you have to think about a lot of things like worldview and main story copies, can you not lose sleep?

People who haven't written fantasy fairies think that writing a book is very simple, there are no absolute hobbies and goals, and few people can stick to it, right?

Otherwise, why did so many great gods endure for so many years and lose so many hairs before they reached the peak of "glory"?

Anyway, I was "poisoned" by the world in your book, and the "poisoning" is not clear.

But isn't that reality?

How can the books that each of us write are not reality?

Even if you haven't experienced it yourself, you've seen and heard a lot, haven't you?

Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't have "cultural worries" and "existential concerns"?

Xiaoman, Hanhan can't protect himself, he can't all the time.

You are "full of money", and I am "without ink on my chest", which is suitable for what you told me to "wear headphones to listen to songs and go shopping".

If I do what you told me, how am I going to live in the future, and how am I going to protect the people I should be protecting?

If you don't do a little bit, will you be "eliminated" by this society?

But I want to be lazy, I want to accompany the child to "learn" from scratch, and learn the forgotten "English", "drawing", and "Chinese" from scratch, so a week after he was born, I began to listen to English songs to him, in fact, I want to learn from scratch by myself, so that I can write better.

Suddenly, I was afraid that he was mute, just like I was afraid that he was blind?

But how can we better return to "consummation" and "original intention" in all this?

Do you have to change the movie you wrote for you?

It's just me and you, isn't it?

"I only accept three rejections", is it really "rejection"?

Is "harm" really "harm"?

"Indifference" is really "I don't love you?"

"Didn't come to you" is really "I don't love you?"

The sister said, "Can't you live without a man?"

Nonsense, of course I can't live without a man, I'm a normal woman. I don't have a homosexuality, not at all.

Or why didn't she ask herself first when she asked me this?

If you have the answer, why are you asking me?

Laughed at me.

If you go back to February 14, 2016, and you send me a red envelope of 200 yuan, and say that if I don't return the red envelope, will you come to Sichuan to find me......?

But as you said, you don't lack women.

At the same time, you can't turn back time.

But I don't have me among your women, do I?

If you come to Sichuan, I can still take you everywhere, and even cook all kinds of delicious food for you, but only with his permission - I said, I will only cook for him in the future.

Hey, I don't know if it's a stealth of love?

I don't know if it's his true intention?

Good night, I'm going to sleep, another all-nighter.

Lianhan

December 27, 2017