Zhang Lu took a selfie in the mirror, but the more he took the photo, the more depressed he felt. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

In fact, seriously speaking, this pair of skin in the mirror is quite good: the height is seven feet six inches, and it is about one meter seventy-five in the next generation, because he is still young, maybe he can jump again; the face is slightly long, of course, it is not as good as "Zhuge Ziyu's donkey", so it is not ugly; although the eyebrows are not like a sword, although the eyes are not as good as Langxing, the nose is not hanging, and the lips are not greased...... Fortunately, the facial features are quite correct, and they are well matched, and no one dares to dominate the crowd.

It's just that there is a fatal flaw in this face, that is, the lips, the jaw, the ears, and the cheeks are all bare, and there is not a single beard!

So where did the beard that should have been there go? In fact, it was plucked out by Zhang Lu himself...... When he thinks about it now, he really regrets it.

Earl Zhang Luzi, born in the first year of Xiping, just passed the eighteenth birthday of the virtual age last month, born in the family of the eunuch, the ancestral home of Mi County, Henan, his father's name is Zhang De Zhang Bozhi, once raised filial piety, the official to Hongnong Taishou, but unfortunately when Zhang Lu was still young, he died in office. The court was therefore merciful, and Yunyin Zhang De's son was a lang - this is the current Zhang Lu who is looking in the mirror.

Zhang Lu has not been in the palace for too long, just over half a year, but when he first entered the palace, he still had a beard...... Or, more accurately, two tufts of fine hairs on the top of the lips. The so-called "body hair and skin, parents who receive it", it stands to reason that this fur cannot be shaved, it must be natural and grow into a beard, but Zhang Lu is an outlier, looking uncomfortable, I feel that it is still shaved clean.

But when you pick up the dagger, you can go down with two "clicks" and it will be a long bloody cut, and if you replace it with scissors, those fine and fluffy things will be even more difficult to twist - what a sad day when there is no safety razor. So in the end, it's just that there aren't many hairs anyway, so I'll pull it out with tweezers.

Zhang Lu's stinky temper that only feels neat and tidy only when he has a bright mouth is naturally not cultivated in this life - in fact, he is a traverser, his soul comes from more than 1,800 years later, and he doesn't know what kind of demon moth he has made, and he has instantly traveled to the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty.

He was very depressed at first, because the living standard of this era was absolutely backward, and daily inconveniences abounded, although he was not a rich and noble family in the previous life, he was a hundred times happier than the food and clothing of the official eunuch in the late Han Dynasty...... But gradually, I got used to it, and I couldn't go back anyway. Well, at the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, it will be the Three Kingdoms soon, this is a great era of heroes, with the knowledge of my previous life, can I fight for a hegemony like those protagonists of novels on the Internet, and even seize the world?

Fortunately, although Zhang Lu didn't love history much in his previous life, he was not a pure novice, and he hadn't seen "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", and he always had an impression on the big face of "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", and he knew that if he wanted to rely on his personal efforts, he would let off his domineering spirit and collect his younger brother, which was very unreliable. True heroes also need to borrow strength, first rely on a big force, step by step to raise troops, farm land, and collect people, and then have the hope of killing a piece of their own world.

If you want to borrow power, of course, it is best to be Cao Cao, the Sun family is too far apart, Liu Bei is estimated to be still leading Guan and Zhang to run around...... Speaking of the time period he traveled over, the Yellow Turban Rebellion has been settled, Zhang Fei should be about to or has already whipped the post......, right?

Zhang Lu still vaguely remembers the general direction of historical development: now that Emperor Ling of the Han Dynasty has just died, the little emperor has ascended the throne, which is the later Emperor Xian of the Han Dynasty (he remembered wrongly, at this time Emperor Liu Xie of the Han Dynasty was still King Chen Liu, and on the throne was Liu Xie's brother Liu Wei), soon after, the general He Jin would clash with the "Ten Standing Servants", and was finally served by Dong Zhuo leading the army into Beijing to serve Lian Guo. Dong Zhuo is a killer demon king, before he comes, it is best for him to run away as soon as possible.

But my hometown Mi County is too close to the capital Luoyang, not a good place to establish a foundation, and my father and mother have passed away, and the family is not prosperous enough. Then you can only find a backer to attach to first, and what you can think of at present is Cao Cao first, or take a step back, and Yuan Shao will also be. It is best to get acquainted with these two in the capital first, build a good relationship, and when you escape from Luoyang, you can go to Yanzhou or Jizhou to take refuge.

But he entered Beijing alone as a lang, and he almost didn't have any relatives and friends, and he usually ate and lived in the collective dormitory, so it was quite difficult to tie up with those two. After inquiry, Cao Cao worshiped as a military captain at this time, and Yuan Shao was a lieutenant of the middle military academy, both of which were more than 2,000 stones, and the future generations were at least at the bureau level. Fortunately, most of the Lang officials are the children of noble relatives, and they are intertwined with each other, and they can have a little relationship with the elders of the DPRK and China, Zhang Lu took a lot of effort to finally greet Cao Mengde through his colleagues - he will go to a banquet in a few days, and Cao Cao will also attend.

So what did he say when he saw Cao Cao? Zhang Lu had already drawn up a draft, and he could falsely claim that he knew how to face each other, and then he would pat Cao Cao: "Jun Shi is also a true hero in the world! Now that the Han dynasty is in decline, the group of eunuchs are doing things, and the husband can sweep away the sluggish wind and stabilize the country, who is not Your Excellency?" will certainly leave a deep impression on Cao Cao.

But the bad luck is also bad luck in this "group of eunuchs", most of the Lang officials work in the forbidden, or guard the door with halberds, or for the Shangshu Zhu Cao to drive, copy some documents, carry some materials or something, as soon as you look up, you may see eunuchs at all levels. There were only two types of scholars who could gain a foothold in the court in these years: one was the loyal lackeys of the eunuchs, and the other was the superficial lackeys of the eunuchs...... In short, not to mention that the rank of Lang official is very low, even if he sees a little eunuch of a lower level than himself, he has to smile all over his face and salute first.

The hot face sticks to the cold ass of the guy who has no eggs, but any man with a little self-esteem can't stand it, just "under the low eaves, how dare you not bow your head", Zhang Lu embraced Han Xin's great ambition to be humiliated by his crotch, so he had to conform to the crowd and grit his teeth and endure it. However, not long after he plucked out his beard, and I don't know why, the eunuchs' eyes changed slightly when they looked at him, and in their original contempt, there was more or less a hint of closeness......

The eunuchs did this, and the attitude of his colleagues towards him also changed, some of them squinted at him, some of them praised him openly and secretly, and then he found that several of his young colleagues had also done the same, and plucked their beards. Zhang Lu was puzzled at first, but later after drinking too much wine, he finally revealed the mystery from the drunken words of a colleague - "Qing pulls out the beard to show the yellow door and the constant servant, and he will be able to win his honor, and it is a clever plan." ”

We can't think of anything if you don't do it, and they will be unhappy when you hang your beard in front of your father-in-law all day long, but now that you pull out your beard, your father-in-law will know your loyalty, and will definitely look for an opportunity to promote you.

I'll go~~ Zhang Lu almost didn't squirt out a mouthful of old blood - I really didn't pull out my beard to get close to the eunuchs, I wish I could stay away from them!

From then on, he looked forward to the growth of his beard as soon as possible. But this matter is not over yet, just two days ago, just after finalizing the "chance meeting" of Cao Mengde at the banquet at the beginning of next month, Zhang Lu was full of joy, and was proudly hanging around the palace, when he was suddenly stopped by a group of eunuchs. I saw that everyone was surrounded by an old eunuch, with a swollen mouth and eyes, looking like an old lady, and said to Zhang Lu: "Zhang Hou, who is often served, come and pay tribute." ”

It is said that the first emperor (Emperor Ling of the Han Dynasty) once said: "Zhang Changshi is my father, and Zhao Changshi is my mother." It refers to this Zhang Rang, and Zhao Zhong - both of them are the foremen of the "Ten Standing Servants". Zhang Lu didn't dare to slack off, and hurriedly stepped forward to kneel and salute. Zhang Rang smiled, stretched out his hand to help, and then looked around and said: "This son is handsome, quite similar to when I was a teenager." ”

Zhang Lu was so disgusted that he wanted to vomit, but he didn't dare to show it at all, but bowed his head respectfully, waiting to listen to the lecture. Zhang Rang asked him: "What is his surname, what is his name, and what is his origin?" Zhang Lu reported his name and resume, Zhang Rang was even more satisfied, and said with a smile: "The same surname as me, or the same ancestor." I want to take you as an adopted son, what if?"

Zhang Lu was so shocked that his jaw was about to fall, and he hurriedly excused himself, saying that I have a low status, how can I climb up to you, Father-in-law Zhang? Zhang Rang stretched out his hand on his shoulder and touched it like this, and Zhang Lu had goosebumps all over his body-"The Qing family is only 2,000 stones, if you have to follow me, you should pass it on to the family business...... "Don't look at me as a eunuch, my family has thousands of acres of fertile land, 10,000 taels of gold, and there is still a title of marquis on my body, and after I die, these can all be passed on to you......

The eunuchs next to him also followed suit, and as if the matter had been settled, they were busy saying hello to Zhang. Zhang Lu knew that if he really refused directly, he might turn his face on the spot, and then killing himself would be as simple as pinching an ant to death...... God is pitiful, I have just crossed over, and my career has not yet started, how can I die at the hands of eunuchs?

But if he really became the adopted son of a great eunuch, it would be too difficult to mix in the scholar circle from now on. Do you say that Zhao Zilong may be a eunuch dog? Zhuge Liang may be a eunuch dog? How will I put up a big banner in the future, accept my younger brother, and fight the world?

had to politely decline, pretending to be a filial son, saying that he did not dare to turn his back on his father. Zhang Rangyi raised his eyebrows: "I know that you still have a brother, but if you succeed Zhang Bozhi, you will succeed you, why hurt you?"

I didn't rely on this old guy on a temporary basis, he even knew that he had a minor brother in his hometown! How could I be right in his eyes? Could it be that he was also a trouble caused by picking his beard?!

In the end, he had no choice but to use perfunctory words: "Zhang Gongmeiyi, how dare you disobey it?" Zhang Rang nodded, and said in a sharp voice: "Mixian is not far away, and I will wait for ten days, waiting for good news." ”

In fact, Zhang Lu didn't dare to tell his family about this at all, otherwise his reputation would not be stinky? He had to wait for Cao Cao to meet Cao Cao in a few days, and ask Cao Mengde to help him come up with an idea to find a way to help him get out of Zhang Rang's tiger's mouth. I heard that Cao Cao's grandfather was also a great eunuch, and his father was the adopted son of the eunuch, and he later killed the uncle of the eunuch Jian Shuo in order to draw a clear line with the eunuch, and even sneaked into Zhang Rang's mansion to make trouble...... Maybe it can really help me!

Unfortunately, as long as I can make friends with Cao Cao, I will flash in a blink of an eye, escape from Luoyang, and flee to Kanto, I don't believe that with the level of communication in these years, you Zhang Rang can still find me. After a while, Dong Zhuo entered Beijing, theoretically, weren't all of you eunuchs slaughtered by the big demon king?

Thinking of this, he couldn't help but sigh, and was about to put the mirror down—alas, it was all the fault of the beard. But at this time, I suddenly heard a light laugh behind me, and then a low voice sounded: "Why bother to shine often, that is, Xu Gong in the north of the city, is not as beautiful as Jun." ”

Zhang Lu really didn't understand what it meant when he said this in the previous life, but he didn't just live in the shell of a young man after traveling here, and all the things he had seen and learned for more than ten years belonged to him. This sentence is out of the "Warring States Policy", not to mention that scholars must read, and he still knows the content of some important chapters - Zou Ji sarcastically admonished the King of Qi, for example, I asked others which one is more beautiful than Xu Gong in the north of the city, so my wife, concubine, and guest all said that I was beautiful, and Xu Gong was not comparable, in fact, it was because of love, fear, or self-demand, and deliberately patted my ass.

So today, the meaning of this person quoting this old classic is to laugh at Zhang Lu: You look in the mirror all day long, stinky and beautiful.

When Zhang Lu heard this, he put down the bronze mirror, turned around, and saw that it was his own colleague, surnamed Zhang Mingjian, a native of Yuyang, who was in his thirties, and his beard was old, I don't know why, he still sank into his subordinates, and he couldn't even mix with Langzhong. Zhang Luyi frowned: "Brother don't play with me, why are you here?"

Zhang Jian said what else, the lunch break is over, the big guys have gone to work, and you are still looking in the mirror here, so I came to urge you. When Zhang Lu heard this, he hurriedly straightened out his clothes, and was about to go out to stand guard with a mirror, when suddenly the door of the dormitory, which was originally half-covered, was knocked open with a "bang", and a colleague hurriedly ran in and shouted: "Woe to you, woe to you!"

What kind of "disaster" did Zhang Luxin say? Could it be that Sun Monkey came to the door to beg Tang Seng? Almost at the same time as Zhang Jian, he spoke: "What's the alarm?" The man gasped and stammered and replied: "The right and suitable people call the general into the palace, that is, cut him in front of the Jiade Palace, rotate the blade to coerce Shangshu and draft the edict, and take the late Taiwei Fan Ling as the commander of the division, and the Shaofu Xu Xiang as the ...... of Henan Yin."

This is a famous palace coup d'état in the late Eastern Han Dynasty, in which Zhang Rang, Zhao Zhong and others put the general He Jin into the palace and cut off his head with a knife, wanting to completely reverse the situation of the scholars' counterattack - this was the direct fuse that led to Dong Zhuo's entry into Luoyang. However, Zhang Lu couldn't remember these details, and he didn't take it seriously - anyway, few people could afford He Jin's straw bag, and he would die when he died.

This is the disadvantage of not reading history books in the previous life, lacking the natural golden finger that the traverser should have - you must know that then Yuan Shao's brothers, He Miao, and Wu Kuang led their troops to burn Qingzomen, entered the palace to search and kill eunuchs, Zhang Rang and others kidnapped Liu Wei's brothers and fled, Lu Zhi and Min Gong pursued, and Zhang Rang threw himself into the river and died...... Almost at the same time, Dong Zhuo and Dong Zhongying led the Liangzhou army into Luoyang City.

Zhang Lu didn't know anything about what would happen next, and he was still looking forward to meeting Cao Cao in a few days, regardless of Zhang Jian and his colleagues who came to complain, he went out to work directly. Today, his job is to guard a certain gate in the palace with a halberd, and at the moment he received a long sword hanging on his waist, and led a halberd to carry on his shoulder, and went to stand guard when he walked - anyway, the government was corrupt in these years, and the officials were tired, and no one really had the heart to work hard, from Guangluxun to Huangmenlang, unless they happened to bump into him, no one bothered to care.

But then I saw infantry coming into the palace, and when I saw the eunuchs, I cut them down. Zhang Lu was first surprised, and then he was very happy: Maybe I can take this opportunity to slaughter Zhang Rang's old bastard, mixed in the chaos, and no one knows that I did it. He was about to rush over to join those soldiers, when suddenly several soldiers saw him as soon as they raised their eyes, and immediately held their swords at each other: "There are still geldings here!"

What kind of "gelding" does Zhang Luxin say? I haven't agreed to be Zhang Rang's adopted son. Quickly cleared up: "I'm not a eunuch." The soldiers sneered and asked, "If it's not a gelding, how can you not have it?" Zhang Lu looked at the stubble on the other party's face, and couldn't help but feel sad - I damn it, it's still the beard that is causing trouble!