Chapter 231: The End of the Past

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show_d;“ Everything is possible. Pen Fun Pavilion wWw. biquge。 info 言*情*首*語*情*首*发btxt" Pannis smiled faintly: "Maybe what you said is right, let me think about it now, I will also make such a guess, I can't understand this idea at that time." In those years, I hated myself so much, and at the same time thought that Nelly should hate me as much as I did, and didn't want to see me free, hoping that I would always be tormented by my heart, so that I could never die. ”

"So what?" asked Catherine softly, "did you resent her then?"

"How is it possible, no matter what she did, I would think that it was the punishment I deserved, and even that this punishment was too light for my actions, and how could I resent her when I thought like this?" With this pain, I have been wandering around the continent of Yara, at first in a state of madness without my mind for most of the time, and as time went on, I gradually became more awake, and by the last few decades, I have basically never lost my mind again, but I do miss the time when I lost my mind, because only in that case did I not dream of the moment when I stepped backwards every night, so that I did not see the riding spear piercing my body every night, and the blood mist flying all over the sky. ”

"Is that what you dream about every night? In the first days, every time you woke up, you were shaking. Lina exhaled cautiously and whispered, "I still remember that when I occasionally dreamed about what had happened between me and my sister before, my pillow would be soaked with cold sweat, and I would even wake up screaming from my dream, you will do this every night, that feeling is really ...... It's hard to imagine. pbtxt”

So, every time I wake up, I feel more disgusted with myself, and only by letting myself sink into depravity, only by allowing myself to be in constant pain, will the guilt in my heart weaken a little bit, but the next day, the feeling of self-loathing will consume my heart again. Pannis recalled his experience over the past hundred years, and said bitterly: "I also thought about escaping the nightmare that tormented me, alcohol, women, mental stimulation, I tried all methods, but all attempts were in vain, and at night, I still returned to that empty space, and faced the flying blood mist again." ”

"Is it true that as I said at the time, all the nightmares were brought upon you by yourself?" asked Catherine softly, "It is precisely because you have never been able to shake off the guilt of the past that you relive that experience once a night?"

"Most of the time it should be as you might guess, but occasionally there will be other things going on. As if remembering something, the corners of his mouth twitched, and finally he didn't say anything, but sighed and said, "I spent the last few decades just like when you first met me, of course, not only in the small town of Kanzir, but all over the world. I've always let me live like a maggot, but I've always hoped that one day, she will suddenly appear in front of me, pierce my heart with a shot, and kill me with her own hands. ”

"Why do you want this?" Catherine understood the answer as soon as she asked, and said with a wry smile: "I understand, in your opinion, her willingness to appear in front of you and kill you means that she has forgiven your crimes, and you will be freed, you have always felt that she is torturing you because she hates you, but you don't know that this is actually you yourself torturing yourself." ”

"Yes, I think being able to be killed by her is the ultimate relief. Pannis nodded, "So I've been waiting for that day to come." ”

"I remember, when I first met you, the first thing you said to me was, 'Are you finally here, is this the day of the final verdict?\'. Catherine suddenly realized, "At that time, you mistook me for Lord Nelly, no wonder you had a happy face like relief at that time." ”

"This is the end of the story, and after that, it is you who picked me up and helped me to regain the courage to face the past and repay my sins and debts. Pannis showed his usual lazy smile again: "Now that the story is over, you should also understand what the real, complete me looks like, think about it, whether such a me is worth your expectations." ”

"You?" the girls looked at each other and let out a laugh that seemed to be disdainful, and the corners of Catherine's mouth turned up slightly, staring at Pannis, "We don't know what you are like in the story, only what we see you like in our eyes." Oh, we still trust our own eyes more than stories. Also, from your personal point of view, maybe this incident is really an unforgivable sin for you, but haven't you thought about why His Majesty Vral doesn't care? ”

"yes, the ending isn't funny at all. Lina sneered: "It's too far worse than those knight novels, according to the development of knight novels, I thought you were going to say that you pulled Lord Nelly in front of you, if that's the case, maybe it can be regarded as betrayal and sin, we may really need to think about it seriously, but it's just that your level is really not enough for us to shake." ”

"So I'm telling you from the beginning, don't look at so many strange things. Catherine pressed the priest's head hard and said, "You have brought Michelle and Ansa badly, and even the two fools over there have been taught abnormally by you, I think you really need to reflect on it." ”

"Hey, big sister, it hurts. Lina covered her head with her hands and ran away, sticking out her tongue and saying, "I'm reflecting, really." ”

"I don't believe it. Catherine gave the girl a blank look, turned to Pannis, and said, "But she is right, what you have been and what you have done in the past is not important to us, what matters is what we see and who you are now." We believe in our eyes, so we don't see you in any way. ”

"Oh, you people, one day you will regret it. Although Pannis shook his head, a smile appeared on his face unconsciously: "However, since the story is over, it is time for me to face the crimes I committed, and if there is a chance to meet again, let you regret it." ”

(To be continued.) )