For me, there are two kinds of people, one is the own son who is favored by God, and the other is the illegitimate child who has been abandoned by God, and I am lucky, I am the own son abandoned by God. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

From elementary school to college graduation, I learned the first half of the four major skills in life, drinking and fighting, and after mixing into society, I learned the other half, picking up girls to make money.

Everyone said that I stood up at thirty, but I didn't stand up anywhere on my thirtieth birthday, and my female partner who was lying on my bed scolded me all the time, "It's really a wretch, and I can't raise my head at a critical moment."

The next day I was taken to the hospital, and finally the doctor diagnosed alcoholism, and after more than two hours in the emergency room, the doctor came out and said to a girl with heavy makeup, "Get ready for the future", this is me, a Jia Feng who just reached 30 and fell before he could stand up, nicknamed the madman, because I really looked like a madman when I got into a fight.

The only ones who came to see me in the morgue were my parents and sister, and there was a little brother who followed me, and none of the others saw me, those little red who pestered me all day long, like a flower, I don't know who I was pestering at this time, and those who opened their mouths and closed up Brother Jia's dead friends, and I don't know where to go at this time.

My mother cried very sadly, and her grandson was gone before she could hold it, and now only my sister is the only one who honors her old man, and the child who can be born is not surnamed Jia.

My dad was calmer, pointed to my corpse and said to me: "You are a king and a calf, you will cause trouble for your family when you are alive, and if you die, you will not let your family stop and stop, and don't burn it, just drive Ming'er home and find a pit to bury it, and save some money."

My sister cried on the side and said: "Dad, my brother is gone, don't scold, I haven't scolded enough after 30 years, and besides, what good is it for you to scold him and be a king."

"You shut up for me, it's all useless things, don't look at it, hurry back, I'll go find a car, save me from having to pay for a day of parking here."

After the family was scolded away by my father, a small man came out from behind the crack in the door, this is my new little brother, I usually don't take much care of him, but I didn't expect to remember to come to see me at this time.

"Crazy brother, I'm sorry, your brothers have scattered, many of them have gone with Brother Dog, I plan to go back to my hometown to find some work, I still don't adapt to life in this city, I don't have anything for you to bring, you keep this bottle of wine and drink it slowly", after speaking, he took out a bottle of two pots from his clothes and put it on the head of the bed, turned around and left the house.

I turned my head to look at a little old man with a white beard next to me, his age was unknown, but his skin was very well maintained, pink and delicate, more elastic than a woman, with curly white hair, dressed like an Arab.

"You brought me here to see this, is it interesting to see how you die?"

"Oh, young man, don't mention death at every turn, how unlucky, I'm here to let you understand the truth of the world, so that you can have a mental preparation, but there are really not many people like you who don't come to see after death", I don't know if he is praising me or scolding me.

By the way, I forgot to introduce myself, otherwise readers wouldn't know who I am, wouldn't it be even more tragic to not die.

My name is Jia Feng, I haven't been a school material since I was a child, I won't do anything other than drink and fight, my primary school homeroom teacher is called a hero with a clear eye, and when I graduated, I summarized a sentence, "You are definitely a scum when you grow up."

I don't know what the scum looks like, but from junior high school to high school, I didn't find a serious job until I barely graduated from college, and my family owed a lot of money for me to go to school.

When I made money and paid off the debts owed by my family, I looked in the mirror, and it would be nice to say that the scum had grown up to be as handsome as me. On my thirtieth birthday, my group of righteous buddies came, white beer, red and red [shǎi] children, and they directly drank me to the fart, and when I woke up, there was this little white-bearded old man standing in front of me, and he told me that he was God, and if it weren't for my weak legs, I would have kicked him to death.

Have you ever seen God grow so white and pink, if this is a woman, I would have pounced on it without looking at her face.

He told me that he was God, of course I didn't believe it, and he turned the picture around as if he were watching a blockbuster movie, "Let's see how you died."

Then I saw me in the hospital surrounded by a couple of doctors, with a big iron to power me, and I was so angry that I went up and had a meal, and it turned out to be like a transparent shadow, I couldn't catch them, and they couldn't see me.

Later, I saw the scene of my parents in the morgue morgue, "Do you believe that I am God this time?"

"Don't say you're God, I believe you're the Jade Emperor, but I don't believe in Jesus, that thing can be eaten."

"Don't worry, God is just a name for me, I'm actually just a member of the priesthood, there is an official position called Tiandu, this position is the only one in the entire priesthood, responsible for the heavenly realm of the door to life, who can enter or not is up to me."

When I heard this, I pursed my lips and muttered: "It's so nice, isn't it just a gatekeeper, and it's also heavenly, I think it's adding to the blockage of the heavenly realm."

I didn't expect this sentence to be heard by him, and it flicked it on my head, but it really hurt, "You kid don't underestimate this position, I don't know how many people want to squeeze their heads in and can't get in, his benefits are not comparable to other divine functions"

I covered my head and asked him, "No, what do you mean by all that you said to pull me out?

He put his arm around my shoulders, like an old rascal hugging a little rascal, hunching his waist and squeezing his ass, "Don't worry, I just want to do a work handover with you, I should retire, and it's your turn to do the next."

"What do you mean? I didn't understand!"

"What do you mean, it's your turn to do this beautiful job, I'm retiring", after saying that, he threw me a small golden booklet with the "Internship Primer" printed on it.

"If you don't understand anything, read the manual, and if you don't understand it, look for me, by the way, don't look for me these days when I go abroad to play."

I was wondering what he meant, and when I saw that the people below were loading me into a Jinbei car, my dad commanded the people like animals, "Just throw it in, it's going to be buried anyway", and my mother was anxious to beat him next to him.

"What are they doing here?", I asked the little old man hurriedly.

"What can you do, I'm loading you and transporting it back to your hometown," he said as he repaired his nails.

"Wasn't you still in the morgue just now, why did you get in the car so quickly?".

"You haven't heard of it in heaven for a day on earth for a year, and if you talk nonsense again, it'll be dark below."

"So soon, you should also get a coffin, what's the matter with carrying me with a board, you shouldn't just watch me being transported back by them and really buried?", I asked him.

"Then how can it be", after saying that, he showed a charming evil smile on his face, how can it be so familiar, I usually do bad things when I laugh like this, I just thought about it, he kicked me in the ass, I felt like a dream fell from a high place, suddenly sat up, and his voice echoed in my head, "Remember, you are still in the internship period, do it well, and turn positive as soon as possible."

I sat up and scared the people on both sides, and I was just about to be lifted into the car, and before my feet could get in, the people on both sides were so frightened that they almost let go and threw me away.

The scene was like time stopped, I was still thinking about what the little old man said, the people on both sides were also stunned and didn't dare to move, their eyes were bigger than a cow's eyes, my dad was about to shout something at this time, his two hands were still raised in mid-air, one foot was cocked, I rubbed my buttocks, it hurt, "You old rascal, you dare to kick me, you wait for me", I shouted angrily.

This throat can be fried, the mother on both sides of the mother ran away, almost dropped me and sent back to the morgue, my mother was scared at this time, my sister didn't dare to move while holding her, my dad looked at me at this time, suddenly ran away, and shouted while running, "Who has the hooves of the black donkey, the loser has cheated the corpse", who is he talking about.

When I got up from the ground, the people around me were left with my mother and my sister standing there, probably frightened, otherwise they would have run away, I looked around, and looked up at the sky, the blue sky and white clouds were very beautiful, but I felt that there was a little old man with a white beard smiling at me, I gave him a middle finger, "You wait for me", the sky suddenly sounded a thunder, startled me, and hurriedly withdrew my fingers.

I was wearing a gray dress, and I didn't know who found it for me to wear, how I looked like a labor prisoner, I smiled at my mother and my sister, "Mom, sister, I'm back again."

My mother finally couldn't hold on anymore and fainted, my sister looked at me and said tremblingly: "Brother, do you still have any wishes, tell my sister, I will do my best to help you complete it, you just go well, I will take care of my mother."

I went up and patted her, "What kind of madness in broad daylight, I'm not dead yet."