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In the rings on the left and right sides of the altar, the drums of the six drummers sounded in unison, and the villagers suddenly fell silent, and then the drumming also stopped.

A fat master of ceremonies slowly walked up to the altar with a piece of manuscript paper, and the steps on the altar were extremely heavy, as if he was not walking on the altar, but on the guillotine. In addition to being fat, the fat master of ceremonies also has a distinctive feature: the lips are thick and wavy.

The fat master of ceremonies' face was as gloomy as death, so he tried to make a kind smile, straightened his wavy lips, swept his eyes around, and then looked at the manuscript paper and read: "Fellow villagers, fathers, uncles, grandmothers, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, sisters, brothers, sister

Tao Xiaozhi finally understood the reason for the gloomy face and obesity of the master of ceremonies: those who can read the above long sentences in one breath without changing their faces are easy to lose their breath without the support of a huge body and lung capacity;

Applause, warm and long-lasting loud applause. Even if it's not for the fat emcee's wonderful speech, applaud for his super lung capacity!

The fat master of ceremonies straightened his wavy thick fat lips again, and continued: "The great, beautiful, pure and kind god Abba will bring her hope, her light, and her well-being to spend a beautiful, romantic, pleasant, and unforgettable rendezvous with the peace-loving, kind, brave and industrious villagers of Luoyan Village!"

The applause is warm and long, longer than the Great Wall, louder than the current emperor's ass!

The fat master of ceremonies was annoyed when he waited for the applause to stop, and hurriedly calmed down the mood of the villagers, and continued: "Now let us warmly welcome our respectable and selfless village chief who loves the people like a son to deliver his warm, unrestrained, humorous, and brilliant opening speech! Everyone warmly applauds, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome!"

The applause saw off the master of ceremonies with high lung capacity and ushered in the respected village head.

The village chief, the elder, was thin and hunchbacked, with a long beard with flowing white flowers hanging down to the ground, eyes like threads, and wrinkles all over his body, none of which was smooth and shiny.

The village chief, holding a cane in one hand and a beard hanging down to the ground in the other, was supported by a man and walked slowly up to the altar like a snail.

"Good morning, everyone!" The village chief's eyes did not open, as if he was asleep, but his lips were beating up and down rhythmically, which proved that he was not completely asleep, "I am very happy to welcome you to my eighty or eighty birthday!"

The villagers were in an uproar, and the master of ceremonies immediately jumped on the altar quickly, ran to the village chief's side, and whispered a few times in his ear.

Tao Xiaozhi said: "Is the village chief confused? Why did the 'God's date' become his 80th birthday?!"

Silly Xingxing said: "The village chief has Alzheimer's disease, and he is probably sick again! This disease is known only to my father and the four sons of the village chief, and even he himself does not know. Don't tell anyone, my father said, it's a secret, no one else knows that the village chief has this disease, and if it spreads, the four sons of the village chief will kill you!

"Speechless. Tao Xiaozhi sighed and said, "Alzheimer's can also be the village chief......

The fat master of ceremonies threw his head up on the stage and laughed, and his saliva shot out like a fountain! But everyone knew that he was pretending, and his acting skills were terrible, because the gloomy air on his face just now betrayed him! He smiled and said: "How about the humorous art of our respectable grand duke, selfless and conscientious village chief, who loves the people like a son? Isn't it wonderful?

The villagers suddenly realized, and the applause rang out loudly, applauding and proud that they had such a great and humorous village chief!

The village chief's lips continued to jump up and down: "Do you bring toilet paper with you to the toilet? It doesn't matter if you don't bring it, as long as you bring an apple, you won't be hungry." ”

Once again, the villagers applauded the village chief's humor.

The fat emcee's face has not changed, gloomy. He whispered into the village chief's ear and scolded: "Son of a bitch, stupid! You old fool! You deserve to be scolded by me! Anyway, you don't understand when I scold you, you damn dementia fool! You should say to everyone: God's appointment is now in full swing! Didn't he teach you many times? You understand? You old fool!"

The village chief was so frightened that his lips trembled, his jaw trembled, and his long beard trembled. He imitated the master of ceremonies and said, "Son of a bitch, stupid! You old fool, you deserve to be scolded by me......"

The fat master of ceremonies immediately covered the village chief's mouth, and looked nervously at the audience.

The villagers in the audience were in an uproar, and some people even became angry and scolded: "Wave mouth (the name of the fat master of ceremonies), what do you want to do?! Why do you block the village chief's mouth, you are so bold......

The villagers were about to rush to the stage to teach the fat master of ceremonies a lesson, but suddenly one of them rushed to the altar first, raised his hands to stabilize the mood of the villagers, and then signaled the fat master of ceremonies to go backstage to hide first. The top of this man's head is bald, like the Loess Plateau, and his hair has been washed away by the river of years. His mouth is in the shape of a stiff "V", which is probably a symbol of laughter and kindness to others.

Tao Xiaozhi said: "Who is this person?"

Silly Xingxing said: "He is the eldest son of the village chief, Dingguang." ”

Dingguang pointed to a stone pillar on the west side of the altar and said, "Father meant to scold that dog, the dog who peed on the stone pillar, it actually dared to blaspheme the god Aba!"

There was indeed a dog at the root of the stone pillar to the west, and the dog did on it. So the angry villager jumped over, jumped up a few times, and trampled the puppy who defecated on the ground in three or two strokes.

God's covenant went on without danger.

Dingguang called for the village chief to be helped down, and then said: "Because my father has a slight discomfort in his throat, the arduous and honorable task of announcing the beginning of God's date has fallen on my shoulders! Now, then, I am very honored to announce that the one hundred and seventh 'God's Appointment' is now open!"

The applause was like a tide, and wave after wave slapped the square of the gods, pushing the warm atmosphere to the highest point.

The call of the gods now began, and the villagers fell silent.

Four Dharma protectors in wide white robes slowly walked up to the altar. They each held a bamboo pole with strips of cloth of different colors: white, black, red, and yellow. They hold a bamboo pole in one hand, and insert the fingers of the other hand (right hand) into the left nostril in a circle. A wizard in a black robe slowly walked up to the altar and walked to the center of the circle around the Dharma Protector. He wore a hideous mask, chanted incantations aloud, and danced strange dances, worshipping the stone statue of the god Abba with exaggerated movements.

"It's so boring...... Tao Xiaozhi yawned, "I'm very sleepy all of a sudden......"

Tao Xiaozhi's buttocks shook and let out a loud fart, and it seemed that the green pill was beginning to exert its medicinal power.

Silly Star whispered: "Don't speak, the 'Call of God' is not allowed to speak! You also put a fart louder than a cannon, blaspheming God, God Abba will not date you!"

Tao Xiaozhi stuck out his tongue and said, "I don't want to date her, a peerless ugly girl who loves to pick her nose!"

"God returns, Aba!" the black-robed wizard called affectionately as he opened his arms to the stone statue of God Aba.

"God returns, Abba !" the villagers under the altar opened their arms together and called affectionately.

"Let's eat, I'm starving!" Tao Xiaozhi also greeted the stone statue of God Abba sincerely.

God's call ends with the sacred act of picking at the nose.

"You haven't answered my question yet. Tao Xiaozhi said to the stupid star, "Why does the fire star grow so small, like a three-year-old child." ”

Silly Xingxing bit his finger and rolled his eyes and said, "This is very complicated to say. When he was a child, he was playful, and he climbed a big tree to sleep, and a demon worm crawled through his nostrils into his stomach, and he became like this. ”

"Demon Gu worms?" Tao Xiaozhi said, "What the hell is this?"

Silly Xingxing said: "The Demon Gu Worm is a highly poisonous insect in the Demon Realm. Its appearance is black, its whole body is covered with thorns, and its number in the demon world is very small, almost extinct. It is said that the Demon Gu worm eats people's hearts, which is why it runs into the stomach of his cousin. ”

Tao Xiaozhi said: "Then why is your cousin okay? Isn't it highly poisonous and specializes in eating people's hearts?"

Silly Xingxing said: "The Demon Gu Worm is a highly poisonous poison that gnaws at people's hearts. But for some reason, my cousin actually digested it. After my cousin ate it, his stomach hurt for five days and five nights, and then he was in a coma for three days and three nights, and then he was fine, but by then he was almost dead. ”

Tao Xiaozhi said: "How does the Demon Gu Worm taste? I'll catch one to taste when I have time!"

"Taste your size. Silly Star said, "It's no wonder it doesn't eat you!"

Tao Xiaozhi said with a smile: "It seems that you are really getting smarter and smarter! ”

"Of course!" the six stars on the head of the stupid star flashed and flashed, "I'm just a little smarter than you!

"......" Tao Xiaozhi was dumbfounded.

"Oh~" Silly Star said, "I forgot to tell you that the Demon Gu Worm also has a strange property: it has a kind of magic body in its body, and this magic body has a lot of magic power. It is said that if a person who eats it instead of being eaten by it does not die, the body will absorb the magic power of this demonic body, and then the human energy will become stronger. ”

"Does the fire star have magical powers?" Tao Xiaozhi said, "I can't see it at all, except for the 'magic' of his roast mutton." Besides, isn't it a demon who has any bird magic?"

Silly Star said: "It seems that I haven't found any bird magic in him, if this magic is as violent as thunder and lightning." ”

The applause rang out, but it was not to end the stupid star's super silly words, but to open the way for "God's praise".

"Speak of 'God's praise.'" Tao Xiaozhi said, "What the hell is it doing?"

Silly Star said: "'God's praise' is to tell the love for God Abba . Each year, a call for hymns is called, and then a good poem is selected and spoken by the author himself at 'Praise of God'. ”