For a week, I've been a little muddy. After Xia Wanyu left, I had a feeling of being at a loss. I don't know what to do, it's like I've suddenly lost my goal and backbone. I couldn't reach her, and she didn't reach out to me. It's as if we had lost contact with each other as we did at the beginning. I wanted to find something to do, but I didn't know what to do.

It's a very uncomfortable feeling, as if you have a lot of ideas but you don't know where to start.

Suddenly, one night.

I heard a song, a very old classic.

Beyond's "Glory Years", I still remember that Liu Weiwei once told me that this song was about Mandela, the father of the South African nation. After Liu Weiwei told me, I also went to look for some information about Mandela myself, and I also read two of his books. I lay on my bed with the sound of Beyond in my ears. I am reminded of a quote from Mandela's book "The Long Road to Freedom": "The greatest brilliance in life is not to never fall, but to always rise again after falling." ”

Perhaps, I am at the bottom of my life right now. Although I look glamorous on the surface, I can't find some things that I have lost, and to put it mildly, I have already lost it. After Sun Xiaoqing left me, I stopped studying, and I didn't pay attention to the circle around me. has been using Xia Wanyu's power all the time, acting arbitrarily, and no one is in sight.

It's like being willing to fall, it's more like a catharsis. I took Sun Xiaoqing's advice not to work hard to be willing to enjoy life, rather than using her belief in helping me to achieve my goals in life. I'm like this luxurious and spacious Sheshan villa now, which represents status, but makes me forget the pragmatism of a two-bedroom apartment. The status comes from Xia Wanyu, not myself.

This villa was originally a property in Zhang Qingshi's name, what kind of face do I have to live here? The Audi A4 I am driving now was given to me by Wang Yingli, what face do I have to walk in the world of flowers every day? Mamawei Food Company was founded by Yang Yang, but after I injected capital with a shy face, I said that it was my own business. Suddenly, I understood. None of this belongs to me, I am still destitute now, as if I was driven out of Gaoke by Xia Wanyu, I squatted at the crossroads. stunned, but not pragmatic.

At that time, Sun Xiaoqing came back, and she made me understand that if people don't work hard, they can only die. And now, Sun Xiaoqing will not come back, but I myself remembered what Sun Xiaoqing had said to me before. Feelings are indeed a headache, but this is not the purpose of depravity. Perhaps it is precisely because of this that Xia Wanyu chose to leave with Summer.

I sat up, my mind messed up. But it's like sitting in front of the Buddha for 30 years, and once you wake up, it's all empty, and the inspiration in your mind is flashing, but you feel a little sour. The qualities that Sun Xiaoqing once taught me, those words, appeared in my mind one by one like a movie. Maybe I shouldn't be sinking, the sleeping dragon should be awakened.

As if fascinated, I put on my clothes and walked out of bed to my desk. Take out a piece of A4 paper and write your own name, then draw a line and write someone else's name. Just like I did at the beginning, I made a tree diagram of all the people I thought were important, or all the relationships that were important to me. The flash of inspiration in my mind was put into a piece of paper by me.

The night went by in a blink of an eye. Before dawn, I took this piece of A4 paper, which was so messy that the second person couldn't read it, and breathed a long sigh of relief. The drawings are not elaborate, and it can even be said that they are disorganized. But if I do it, it's fine. I looked up at the white belly of the fish on the horizon outside the window, and the sky was ...... It seems to have lit up.

……

I was just like when I accompanied Ma Xiaodan to the hospital for an abortion, I didn't sleep all night but I wasn't sleepy at all. I got out of bed and made a pot of beef soup and two egg pancakes. When Zhang Ling got up, I was having breakfast. Zhang Ling looked at me in some surprise, sat down unkempt, picked up a bowl of beef soup I gave her, took a sip, and praised: "It's delicious." ”

I took a bite of the egg cake and said to her, "I'm going back to my old apartment, it's the last breakfast in Sheshan." ”

Zhang Ling frowned, and asked in surprise: "Splitting up?" ”

I said, "No, a monk." ”

After I told Zhang Ling what I thought last night, Zhang Ling looked at me directly and asked, "Back to the apartment that Aunt Wang gave you before?" ”

I nodded and said, "Yes, I bought that apartment, it has not been occupied, and now I want to go back." ”

Zhang Ling frowned, flattened her mouth and said, "Come all over again, hehe, I suggest you shave your head bald, so that you have the charm of becoming a monk and the meaning of starting over." ”

I looked at Zhang Ling, who was teasing me, frowned slightly, and said, "It's a good suggestion." ”

When Zhang Ling saw me say this, she was surprised and said, "Are you really going to shave your head, I just said it casually." ”

"It's decided, I'll get a haircut right away." I said to her.

Zhang Ling was obviously frightened by me, but she seemed to remember the funny appearance of my shaved head again, and couldn't help but smile. After breakfast, I packed two pieces of clothing and packed them in my backpack. After going downstairs, I saw Zhang Ling also carrying a bag, and I asked her in surprise: "What are you doing?" ”

She looked at me and said, "I want to drink beef soup every day." ”

I didn't speak, Zhang Ling said again: "Sheshan Villa is so big, if you leave, I will definitely be scared to death by myself here, so I should follow you to the previous apartment." Anyway, I still have to supervise you for Aunt Xia, hum. ”

I nodded and said, "Okay, since you want to go, that apartment has two rooms anyway." ”

Zhang Ling's face turned red and scolded me: "Boring." ”

Come out of Sheshan Villa and lock the villa door. Riding Zhang Ling's bicycle and driving her to a nearby barber shop, the hairstylist was very enthusiastic to introduce me to the method of personal image building, and wanted to make an image for me. But I said to him, "Shave your head." ”

The hairstylist was visibly stunned, and after asking me again, he asked me to sit down in front of the mirror. My hair is only a little longer, and I can't actually shave much hair with a shaved head. Looking at the hairstylist, my iron scalp slowly revealed, and a smile slowly appeared on my face. Zhang Ling sat in the back, she lowered her head and didn't look at me.

Soon, my hair was gone under the hands of the hairstylist.

I looked at myself in the mirror and turned my head to look at Zhang Ling, she looked up at me, her eyes were teary, but with a smile on her face, she said, "There is an extra light bulb in the house." ”

I smiled helplessly and left the barbershop with Zhang Ling. I rode my bicycle and took her to the Sheshan subway station. She didn't ask me why I didn't go back to drive, in fact, I did, she understood. On the subway, I held Zhang Ling's hand, there were a lot of people, and the two of us were a little tight, I don't know why, Zhang Ling hugged me, lay in my arms, and said to me: "It is also a kind of courage to be able to put it down." Some people may say you're stupid, but I know you're actually finding yourself. It's gold that always shines, and I believe in you. ”

I was a little moved by her words, but soon, she let go of me, still looking like she was hee-hee-hop and heartless. There are quite a few people on the subway who are dressed in tatters and beg with children. Perhaps it was because the two of us were dressed well, but a woman with a little girl came up to me with a bowl and said to us, "Okay, okay." ”

I subconsciously wanted to give her the change in my pocket, after all, the little girl's big eyes were very clear. I believe that such a child will not lie, but Zhang Ling stopped me from acting, she looked at the money in the woman's bowl, and said with envy: "Are you showing me that you have more money than me?" ”

"......" Suddenly, the people around five meters who heard this sentence almost burst into laughter, and I couldn't help but look at Zhang Ling with a smile. This Nizi is so cute. The begging mother and daughter disagreed and continued to walk behind. Or, they are not mother and daughter.

Zhang Ling said proudly: "In the past, begging was excusable, but in the current era when you can make money as long as you have hands and feet, begging has long become tasteless, hum." ”

Take the subway from Sheshan to Xuhui District, and then transfer to the bus to the apartment that Wang Yingli used to rent to me.

The apartments are not luxurious, but compared to most people who live in the city. It's a dream nest and the apartment is furnished the same as it was a few years ago, but it's getting dirty and messy due to the long period of not being occupied. The room was covered in cobwebs and dust, and the TV was too damp to watch. Basically, all the appliances that worked were broken, the sofa was not so good, and the mattress almost fell apart.

Zhang Ling stuck out her tongue and said, "I knew that I wouldn't come, I was pitted, I was trapped." ”

I was helpless, but fortunately there was still water and electricity at home. Open the windows to ventilate the room and start tidying up your home. I was busy until more than one o'clock in the afternoon, and the dust was completed. Zhang Ling made a list of things to buy, and after I looked at them, I added a blackboard that was enough to fill the wall of the study. Zhang Ling didn't ask anything, and we came to the furniture city in the afternoon.

Order all the furniture you need to buy, don't buy the most expensive, only sell the most affordable, and you can use it. After buying these, it didn't cost much. The furniture city delivers the furniture to the home and places it. The old furniture is sold at a very low price to the second-hand furniture recycling center provided by the Furniture City, and after doing this, it is already evening. I breathed a sigh of relief, looked at the list of items and said, "I still have a blackboard, I will go to the textbook center tomorrow to order it." ”

Zhang Ling lay on the sofa that was not as big as Sheshan Villa, and said lazily: "I have to go and bring the fish over tomorrow, otherwise we will leave, and they will not be able to live." ”

I nodded, pushed open the window to look at the night scene outside, and said, "Okay." ”

After so many years, it's back to the beginning.

I yelled out the window, and Zhang Ling asked me, "What's wrong with you?" ”

I said, "It's nothing, it's just remembering something from the past." ”——

PS: I'm going to take the train to Nanchang tomorrow night and go for about a week. Try to keep two chapters a day updated during this time, but if you are exhausted, you may have one chapter. I hope you understand, but there are updates every day, and everyone can do it.