I don't remember how long it was, my buttocks were numb when I sat down, my lips cramped when I chanted sutras, I smiled and laughed until my facial nerves ached, and the golden time evaporated in this dusty boredom.

I don't care anymore.

The so-called Buddha is just an actor. I'm just a little bit better than others in acting.

I'm just that.

Where there is any Buddha, there is only a show. If you don't cry out in pain when you are beaten, you are a Buddha; With a smile on his face, he is the Buddha.

A few days ago, I watched "Harry Potter" (I watched it under the cover of ancient Indian Buddhist scriptures), and I think our Buddha world is similar to that Ministry of Magic, where is there no demon? Where is there no magic? And we are not only chanting the scriptures, but also chanting the scriptures.

The Monkey King incident really scared me. God knows how weak my combat power is, and in the end, tens of thousands of eminent monks in the Buddha realm condensed their combat power into me, and we preached fair competition all day long, but the monkey will never understand that he lost unfair competition.

It's not that he's not smart enough, it's that the world is too complicated.

I don't dare to imagine that if I didn't get rid of Sun Wukong, they still didn't let me be a Buddha, there are many people who want to be a Buddha, and there is not a single platoon of people who are stronger than me.

I'm scared, it's just that I'm pretending not to be afraid.

After the Havoc in the Heavenly Palace, I don't know how many immortals asked the Jade Emperor to resign, and the Jade Emperor made an 8,000-word review in the Heavenly Court and did not pass. Even a low-level immortal like Chang'e openly declared in an interview: He doesn't look like a man!

The Jade Emperor wrote me a letter with only five words: the height is cold. One stroke at a time, very neat. There is no domineering and chic when the usual signature inscription. In fact, men are domineering in front of women, and they are chic in the eyes of women, but unfortunately women don't know.

Pack**.

But is there anyone more a** than me? The high-ranking spy on the Heavenly Court's side sent me the news that the Jade Emperor was so frightened that he peed his pants when Sun Wukong was making trouble in the Heavenly Palace (no wonder Chang'e said he didn't look like a man).

My think tank collectively suggested that I make this news public, so that even those who showed the gate to Heavenly Court should ask the Jade Emperor to step down, so that it is absolutely certain that I will become the Jade Emperor after I get the Monkey King.

It's a pity that I didn't do that, and instead I blocked the news. Because I'm afraid that I'm not the opponent of Sun Wukong either. After all, it is a contest, not a smile of kindness.

I want to be a leader who is afraid of accidents. Every time something happens, I don't know how many people step down and how many people are demoted. We all say that high places are invincible, but in fact, we all know that low places are colder.

What? Aren't you afraid? Young people! The ignorant are fearless. If I told you the live story of the battle between me and the Monkey King, would you still be afraid? In fact, the battle lasted for ten days and nine nights, Sun Wukong's golden hoop stick smashed out three peach-like bags on my head, my two front teeth were knocked out alive, my nostrils were bleeding, I bit my tongue in tension, and after that battle, I couldn't get up for three months, and I was on crutches for half the year. Our royal media claimed that Sun Wukong didn't even escape from the palm of my hand, and was pressed under the Five Finger Mountain by me with a gentle wave of his sleeve in only 0.1 seconds.

In fact, even the mentally handicapped can see what a lame lie this is.

In fact, after defeating Sun Wukong, we immediately put a tight hoop on him, and immediately kidnapped all his monkeys in Huaguo Mountain, and sent them to a place that Sun Wukong would never know, guarded by 100,000 heavenly soldiers and 500 Arhats.

(Now you know why Sun Wukong is willing to sign the scripture learning agreement, right?) ）

When I was doing these things at that time, I saw the disgusting expressions on the faces of every immortal and every senior monk present and asked: Is it too despicable to do this? But the voice that came out of everyone's mouth was: Uphold justice.

After that, I immediately held a meeting with the think tank to discuss the policy of ousting the Jade Emperor from power and letting me take over, the media packaged me as an omnipotent superman who saved the world, portrayed the Jade Emperor as a little man who was ineffective in handling things and escaped from the battle, I encouraged the immortals to demonstrate, I promoted all kinds of pressure for the Jade Emperor to resign, and all forces were calling on me to come to power.

Everything worked so well for me.

Unfortunately, it was too late, and my approval rating was 0.1 percentage point less than that of the Jade Emperor.

God, why is that?

Is it because he has long hair and looks more handsome than me?

Obviously, my ability is stronger than his, and I want to be the Jade Emperor so much that my hair falls out. Why? Why?

There was once a precious piece of information in front of me, but unfortunately I didn't make good use of it, and when I missed the Jade Emperor's power, I just wanted to say to myself: You are really the biggest fool in the universe!

I know: many people, except for the owners of publishing houses, do not want to see this memoir appear. In this world, what is more terrible than demons is demons, what is more terrible than demons is man, what is more terrible than humans is Buddha, and what is more terrible than Buddha is God.

Amitabha.