Tang - Tang Seng, mycts

Sun - Sun Wukong, cake

Pig - Zhu Bajie, qxy

Sha - Sha Monk, soos

Teacher-Teacher, wxc

Narrator: Luk

Crowd 1: zhtao

Crowd 2: wlh

Crowd 3: shijian

Throw the drumsticks:tm

Opening:

It is said that it has been 5,000 years since the four Tang monks and apprentices came back from the scriptures, and the world has been peaceful. But in the last few decades, Rulai Buddha has found that its network has always been hacked. As a result, the four Tang monks and apprentices were sent to Tsinghua to obtain the information scriptures and were assigned to 63 classes. On this day, in the dormitory......

Act I, the dormitory

[Tang Chanjing.] ]

[Sun is drowsy.] ]

[Sha back, carrying a flat burden.] ]

Don: Hi! Pretty balanced beauty......

Sha: Yes! Can this basket of books in the front and homework in the latter be unbalanced? Master, you are separated again!

Tang: It's not for your brother. Wake up Sun. Alas, the size of his diamond ring is too poor, the front is heavy and the back is light, the left is wide and the right is narrow, he is very uncomfortable after wearing it, and he has insomnia all night, which will affect me. Although he is a monkey, we can't do this to him, the government will say that I abuse animals when they find out.

Sun: What do you say?

Tang: Now that I recite the Diaspora Sutra, he immediately falls asleep, which is much better than that. Yo, Bajie is back, and his skin is always so healthy and moisturized......

Sun: Master, you've watched too many advertisements.

Pig: Heard about Bill? Gates is here today for an exhibition at the International Convention Center.

Sha: Then you have to ask for a ticket, it's definitely not cheap! Sun held out four fingers.

Sha: Ah! Four bucks? That's enough for me to take eight showers!

Sun: Don't count me as a brother, it's 400 yuan! That's enough for you to take a bath for eight years!

Sha: Holy! I think it's better for the second senior brother to go, don't you take a shower for eight years!

Pig: Phew! But will he stop by Building Nine to have a look?

Sun: Then he will definitely vomit blood. Just our countless pirated software, selling CDs in and out all day long.

Don: Wukong, that's your fault. Bill? Gates is coming to Building 9, it's just an idea, it hasn't become a fact yet, and you have no evidence, so it's better to wait for him to come, really vomit blood, and then it's not too late to convict him of selling CDs.

Sun: Alas, master, I know it's wrong.

Sha: Second Senior Brother, where did you go just now?

Pig: Fetch water.

Sun: What about water?

Pig: [barking] Alas! The water is in Building 7 too.

[Singing: Meanwhile, Sun and Sha perform an empty pot.] ]

She always left only two empty pots.

[At the same time, Sun and Sha perform and push away]

But she never let me send her home.

……

The falling flowers are intentional, the boiling water is ruthless, and the good intentions are empty......

Sha: I really envy the second senior brother, Lao Neng Building No. 7.

Sun: Sha Seng, it's not easy for him. Do you know how much helplessness and waiting he went through in order to get the right to fetch water urgently! You see, they're all thin like this.

Pig: [affectionately.] The belt gradually widened and did not regret it, and it made people haggard for Yi. [The crowd vomits.] ]

Sun: Bajie, don't be evil. Let's get down to business! Master, I've heard that other dormitories have computers.

Don: What's so good about having a computer?

Crowd: Learn!

Don: What do you study?

Sun: You can learn C&C! diablo，fifa98，doomii，mud……

Don: That's what's wrong with you. If you have something to say, you can talk about it! Why swear! It is necessary to pay attention to language civilization, and children will learn bad when they hear it......

Sun: It's not a curse, it's a famous mud garden!

Sha: Listen to me, there are also the warriors of the Three Kingdoms, the True Samurai Shomurai, and Super Street Fighter II......

Pig: That's right! There is also a beautiful girl dream factory, mahjong love house, and a marriage proposal for 365 days......

Don: Listen to what you say, do you want it? If you want to make it clear, if you want it to be clear, I will give it to you if you want it, and I won't give it to you if you want it. It is impossible for you to say that you want me not to give it to you, and you say you don't want it but I want to give it to you. Everyone, be reasonable, now I'll count to three, and you have to make it clear whether you want it or not. ……

Crowd: Yes!

Don: Looks like you really want to? Yes! Let me think about it first......

Crowd: It's over......

Pig: When the master thinks about it, the cucumber dishes are cold! I still went for a late-night snack. [The pig takes a basin and asks for it.] ]

Building Chief: 501! Pig Gono! Someone looking for ......

Pig: It's coming, it's coming!! [Throws down the basin and rushes out.] ]

Tang: It's 11 o'clock, Bajie has to go out, what should I do if the lights go out?

[Lights go out suddenly.] ]

Crowd: Ah! Crow's beak!

Don: The lights are out, and you can safely turn off your phone! Everyone close the doors and windows, lock them well, pay attention to fire prevention, and beware of night thieves......

Crowd: Stop!

[End of Act I]

Voice-over:

Stop! Hi, Tang Seng has stopped, but everyone's nightlife has just begun: some eat instant noodles, some steal boiled water to drink, some read newspapers, and some chat about big days...... Life, sometimes I really can't stop if I want to. Yo, I'm sorry, I'm also influenced by Tang Seng, so much to say.

In the blink of an eye, it was five o'clock in the morning of the next day, and how quiet was the morning at Tsinghua University......

Act II, Classroom

Don: Disciples!

apprentice: waitingorders.

Don: It's our turn to take a seat for the class today.

Act: acknowledged.

Don: One person, one row.

Affirmative.

[There are four rows of chairs, three in each row, with three people seated in the first row.] ]

[On the sand.] ]

Sha: Yo, there's someone so early!

[Takes out three apples.] ]

This apple was just bought from the supermarket yesterday. It's cheap, it's abundant, and we eat it every day. I'll take three apples to occupy a seat, and I can refresh myself in class for a while!

Sun: Come on, junior brother, do me a favor.

[Coordinates with the sand and pulls out a roll of toilet paper to occupy a row of seats.] ]

Sha: Senior brother, there is really you.

[Sudden stomach ache.] ]

Yo, paper paper! Just right!

[Tear a piece of paper under hand.] ]

Sun: Go, go, go, go!

[Tear a piece of paper under hand.] ]

[On the pig, seeing the apple, he is overjoyed and takes a plastic bag out of his pocket.] ]

Pig: There are three apples today, and I ate three for nothing yesterday, and the cores are still here. I'll just use the nuke to occupy the seat!

[Swap out the apples with the three cores and eat them as you go.] ]

[Ibid.] ]

Sha: I said who ate my apple yesterday, it turned out to be you!

Pig: I said who put the apple for me to eat yesterday, it turned out to be you!

Sun: You two are such a piece of shit. One less row of seats, now what?

Tang: I have to go and lay out the facts and reason with the students in the first row.

[Don to the first row of poverty.] ]

Sun: If the master comes out to reason, it will definitely be done! This is called:

Crowd: [singing] There is justice in the world, there is always a reward for paying, it is better to say it than to say it, and to say it is the best.

[The first two leave silently and sit in the last row.] ]

[Don continues to be poor, and the third person does not move.] ]

Sha: Hey, this person is strong enough.

[Don observes carefully and unplugs the man's headphones.] Continuing to be impoverished......]

Pig: Oh, I turned out to be wearing headphones.

[Teachers, teachers and apprentices, three groups of people are seated, and they automatically sit in a row of four people and a row of three people.] ]

Teacher: Attend classes. The results of the midterm exams are out!

[Quiet]

Teacher: In this mid-term exam, there are as many people over 90 as there are over 80.

[Crowd commotion......]

Teacher: There are equally many people over 80 and over 70.

[Everyone nods......]

Teacher: There are equally many people over 70 and over 60.

[The class cheers......]

Pig: Don't be too happy just yet. And what about the number of people who fail?

Teacher: There are as many people who fail as there are the number of people in the class.

Crowd: Huh?? Ay!!

Sun: arkamaxidawei! [Angry, stand up......]

Pig: Wow, Big Brother is angry.

Don: Wow, the battle index is in the millions.

Sha: It's no wonder that he never failed the exam after so many attempts.

[Sun Nu, throwing away his hat, walking slowly in front of the teacher, glaring angrily for a long time, suddenly kneeling down and kissing his hand.] ]

[The congregation falls.] ]

Sun: [singing] Do you know, do you know......

Teacher: I don't know.

Sun: [angrily] Go back, I haven't finished singing yet.

[Sing] I waited until the flowers were gone.

Teacher: [Singing] Don't come to this set, don't come to this set......

Sun: Let me get back in time!

Teacher: Don't come to this set, I won't eat your bitter tricks! Back to the seat analysis test paper!

Sun: [confused] A thousand reasons to be sad, a thousand reasons to be sad......

Teacher: If you disrupt the order of the class again, I will give you 10,000 reasons to be sad!

[Pig and Sand step forward to appease Sun Hui.] ]

Sun: [Suddenly.] Sing] 10,000 reasons to be sad......

[Pig and Sand forcibly pull Sun back.] ]

[Sit down.] ]

Sun: Okay, listen to what he has to say.

Teacher: The first question in this exam is: A boat can carry up to 50 people, and there are already 49 people on board, and another one is boarded, but the boat sinks, why? Tell me what your answers are.

Tang: It must be a shoddy product. Alas, counterfeit and shoddy products kill people. The last time I bought a pair of leather shoes, I only wore them for two days and then opened the glue. Look at this boat, fifty more people have been killed!

Sha: No, no, it's the number of people my second senior brother counted. He never knew how to count.

Pig: You're just one word:!

Sha: Look: I don't know how to count!

Sun: If you want me to say, there must be a pregnant woman.

Pig: [Stands.] I approve!

Sha: [Stands.] I approve of it too!

Don: [Stand up.] Our Journey to the West hooligan group unanimously approves!

Crowd 1: Don't worry, chew pistachios first.

Crowd 2: Taste the gaiwan tea again.

Crowd: Who's right, you have to ask the experts!

Teacher: You are all wrong, and the correct answer is that this ship is a submarine.

Crowd: [discuss] What kind of problem is this?

Tang: [angry] This, this is obviously misleading consumers, I, I'm going to sue you......

Teacher: How good this question is! The main purpose of my test is to consider the problem holistically, not to limit yourself to ......

Sun: Okay, okay, we know it's okay to be wrong, let's talk about the next question.

Teacher: There are two questions in the second question, the first of which is: 1. What are the three steps required to put an elephant in the refrigerator? Look at what you answered! Someone replied: That's simply not possible. [Kan Tang]

Don: It's not me, it's not me......

Teacher: Some people replied: That is absolutely impossible. [See Sun]

Sun: It's not me, it's not me......

Teacher: Some people also replied: That is fundamental, absolutely impossible. [Kansha]

Sha: It's not me, it's not me, it can't be me......

Teacher: What's even more infuriating is that some people simply abstained from voting. [Look at the pigs]

Pig: It's not me, it's not me......

Teacher: The correct answer is: 1. Open the refrigerator door. 2. Lead the elephant in. 3. Close the refrigerator door.

Crowd: Hey! Too bad!

Teacher: It is impossible to answer the second question correctly: What are the four steps needed to put a giraffe in the refrigerator?

Pig: Oh, I see, the answer must be to open the refrigerator door first, lead the giraffe in, and then close the refrigerator door.

Sha: That's just three steps, huh?

Pig: Isn't it just four steps if you rest for a while?

Sha: What! Take a break. The answer must be to open the refrigerator door first, lead the elephant out, lead the giraffe in, and then close the refrigerator door. [The crowd suddenly realizes.] ]

Teacher: That's right, it seems that the students' ability to draw inferences from others is not bad. This is the purpose of our first practice, two exams, and three exams.

Sun: Then we can also come up with this kind of question! Listen: One day the rabbit has a birthday, almost all the animals in the forest have gone, only one animal has not gone, who is it?

Teacher: ...... this?

Sun: Let me tell you, one day the rabbit had a birthday, and almost all the animals in the forest went, but only one animal didn't go, and that was the refrigerator!

Teacher: What do you say?

Sun: I'm in a daze! That's the giraffe! It's still in the freezer. Lo and behold, you won't either!

[The crowd stands up, applauds warmly, shakes hands with Sun, and hugs.] ]

Teacher: Stop! [Suddenly laughs maniacally] Haha......! I'm not like you. You are going to participate in the construction of the motherland in the future, and I just need to teach well, and the division of labor is different! In fact, the midterm exam score only accounts for 10% of the total score, so you can do well in the final exam! Class is out now! ……

[End of Act II.] ]

Act III, the dormitory

Sha: Hey, it turned out that the exam only accounted for 10 points, and it was a false alarm.

Don: Let's talk about our Student Day. What do you think we're going to do?

Pig: Master, just talk about stand-up comedy.

Don: Nonsense! However, let me tell you about the scriptures, and it's okay to explain the reason.

Sun: Then let's skip it. Hey, why don't we play Samurai Shoalire!

Sand Pig: Yes, yes.

Don: What Samurai Shore? Is it good-looking.

Sun: It's exciting. Come, let's put on a show for the master.

[The three of them come to the center of the field: Pig and Sand pose separately]

Sun: yikongmei! smore！

[Pig and sand against the waves]

Sun: Look, this is a wave! Hurry up and fight!

[Pig and Sand rush to the sword, and then jump away at the same time.] ]

[On a backpack for one person, throw a slipper.] ]

Sha: Ah! Drumstick!

[The sand rushes up and leans over to pick it up, the pig suddenly goes up, cuts the sand, and the sand falls to the ground.] ]

Sun: Yibong!

Tang: Sun, all the actors came together, made a referee, applauded, and bowed. Same as below.

Sun: Hey, what about Senior Brother Sha?

[On Crowd 1 and Crowd 2, cover a straw mat on the sand and carry down the dead sand.] ]