It's not just that if something goes wrong at work, you have to look inward, but even more so when you have a marriage. The pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info Wang Ma's marriage breakdown incident caused a lot of noise in the entertainment industry, and everyone was hurt by the noise. Kong Ling and Li Jun discussed through WeChat, and some of Li Jun's views deeply affected Kong Ling and made Kong Ling more and more admired.

Li Jun: "Actually, the marriage, union and separation of two people are all two people's business, telling the world "I am a victim" so loudly (and then another person stands up and says "I am the victim", and then a friend also comes out and says "he/she is the real victim"...... ）。 This shows that both Wang and Ma lack strength in their hearts and need sympathy, care and support. ”

Kong Ling: "Actually, this incident also provides an opportunity for the two of them to "look inward", if both of them are aware of the problems in their marriage in advance, they both choose to look inward to see what kind of needs they have inside, it should be a good opportunity for spiritual growth. As a result, both of them do not look inward, and both declare to the outside world that they are the victims, thus missing out on opportunities for spiritual growth. ”

Li Jun: "You're right. Both of them are public figures, idols of movie fans, and they should show a powerful image. Publicly proving that you are a victim in this way is the opposite effect. Mutual revenge for scandals is even more of an act of the weak. ”

Kong Ling: "Marriage is a husband and wife living together, creating a loving and sweet life together, loving each other, caring and supporting, creating a 1+1>2 psychological state and living environment, and supporting the birth and growth of new life, and the husband and wife are each other's life partners." ”

Li Jun: "An artist's career can be very profitable, but many artists will be busy for a long time and don't go home, can't they really manage, control, and arrange time with their families?" As a result, only the name is left in the marriage, and although the family will have a good material life, the emotional life is vacant. The loneliness in the heart is the driving force for marriage, and the name of marriage cannot fill this loneliness, and the partner can. Therefore, it is easy for two people who have been separated for a long time after marriage to find someone else to fill their inner loneliness. Working hard to make money is said to be for the happiness of the family, but such "working hard to make money" destroys the happiness of the family, which is really self-deception! The family's life is enough to have food and clothing, and for the family, what is more needed is that this person is accompanied by the family at home and participates in family life. Marriage is a matter of two adults, and it can't go on, so end the relationship with mature attitudes and behaviors first, and then find a new relationship, and no one can say anything. Breaking up in a way that hurts each other is degrading the identity of the partner and the image of the person, and the mature person will not do this. ”

Kong Ling: "Agreed. The outcome of losing both sides is something that everyone doesn't want to see, but under the control of emotions, the two chose to hurt each other at the same time and chose to lose both, which is unacceptable to the public. ”

"Sister Li, your brother-in-law is a well-known model husband, you are really a skilled husband. Would you like to share it with your little sister? Kong Ling changed the topic and turned to Li Jun's husband and wife.

"Little sister, every family has a scripture that is difficult to read. Marriage is like a shoe, only you know if it is suitable or not. I have studied psychology for many years, and I also know the way to marital happiness. But my life with your brother-in-law is not without its contradictions. Every time there is a conflict, it is your brother-in-law who tolerates me, because he understands my upbringing, and I also take the initiative to put forward my requirements to him, so when I am "evil", he knows why, and he does not have "general knowledge" with me. To be honest, I just fell in love with his generosity and ability to tolerate this, no matter how unreasonable I was, he could tolerate me and love me like a father, which is why I am willing to stay within the walls of marriage. Speaking of Li Jun's model husband, Li Jun's tone more or less brought out a feeling of being spoiled.

Kong Ling understands Li Jun's growth environment, Li Jun is the second in the family, a sister above, a younger brother below, has been living in a situation where her parents have been seriously neglected since she was a child, in order to attract enough attention and attention, she studied hard, and tried her best to be very good in all aspects, but it was useless, she still couldn't feel the love from her parents, especially her father, because she was a girl, before she gave birth to a younger brother, she discussed with her mother to give her to someone else's house. Later, when my mother and my father quarreled once, my mother was very angry and said, "Dad is not a human being, and he wants to give his child away." Li Jun knew that the child who was going to be given to someone else's house by his father was himself. She had always longed for her father's love, but she never got it, her father looked at her sister and brother differently than she saw her, and she saw more disgust than love in her father's eyes. She has been living to prove that she is loved, worthy of love, living a very tired, painful, and depressed life, and then embarked on the road of physical, mental and spiritual growth, only to understand the reason why she has been working so hard, that is, she must be good enough so that her father can see her and feel that she is loved and worthy of love.

Fortunately, the model husband Li Jun is looking for, although his image and knowledge are not very ideal, but he has met her psychological needs for many years, he dotes on her, praises her, and his eyes stay on her all the time, as if the whole world can only see her. This filled the emptiness in her heart with love and attention from childhood, and because with him, she no longer looked for "Dad".