The first thing I did when I arrived in Beijing was to find Yu Jianguo, when I sat in front of him, I don't know if it was a psychological reason, anyway, he gave me a much stronger feeling than the first time, the first time was probably the wrong time and place, or he took the initiative to talk to me and other reasons, anyway, the impression of him is not very good, although he looks quite good-looking.

Seeing him this time, I felt that he was not only polite, but also warm and comfortable when he saw people.

He poured me a glass of water, and then instead of asking me directly, he sat quietly waiting for me to speak first, I picked up the glass he handed me, took a symbolic sip, and put it on the table in front of me. I opened my mouth first and asked him: "Teacher Yu, I don't know how to talk about it, anyway, I have a lot of hurdles in my heart now." I know that even if I don't say it, you should be able to guess, or you wouldn't have given me a business card at that meeting. ”

"Yes, I guessed you have a mental block. Don't be in a hurry, speak slowly, and say whatever you want. Don't have any psychological burden, it's nothing, most people nowadays have psychological disorders, there are some things that can't be thought of, and there are hurdles that can't be overcome, and some things are just said. ”

"Let's start with my affairs, I have experienced two marriages, the first time there is actually no problem of principle, one is that I am not in harmony with his personality, how to say? In fact, he is really a good person, but he is not very motivated, for this, I often quarrel with him, he has always let me, so although we quarrel, but the relationship is okay, no matter what it is, he thinks about me, I also think about him. But then there was a little misunderstanding, and he suddenly said that he was going to work in other places, saying that he earned more money in other places. I didn't want him to go, but he had to go, so I agreed, and then after he left, there was no news for half a year, he didn't call me, I couldn't get through when I called, I was alone at home, the child was small, and I caught up with my mother who was sick, I often went to the hospital to take care of it, and I was very tired, so I thought he had eloped with another woman. I hated him every day, thinking that I was so good to him, but he treated me like this, and when he came back, I filed for divorce without listening to any explanation from him, and he happily agreed. Then we divorced. ”

I'm just talking about my first marriage. Yu Jianguo sat there and listened to me quietly, and when I finished speaking, you said to me: "Do you regret the end of this marriage?" ”

As soon as I heard what he said, it was so right, not that it was psychology, and I immediately saw my psychology. "Yes, I regret it a little, I think he was so good to me at the time, why didn't I listen to his explanation and file for divorce? It wasn't until I met a second man and was ready to get married that I realized that I had misunderstood him. But there's no turning back. Because I've started a second relationship. ”

"My opinion, you should not have any regrets and guilt about this relationship. Because it's not your fault. I listened to him and thought he was comforting me.

"How could it not be my fault? If I had listened to him explain it well, wouldn't there have been such a thing? ”

"I believe this may be the end of your fate. Because you were just talking angry at the time, if he didn't agree to the divorce very happily, and then explain it after you were angry, you would listen. He didn't do that, but chose to give up on you, he thought he was doing it for your good, for loving you, but in fact it was just to comfort himself. If he really loves you very much, if it were me, I wouldn't choose to leave you and let you find happiness, because that is a gamble in itself, and you may not be able to find happiness if you are released. My choice is that I will work hard to earn money and make you happy with him. You said that you often quarrel with him because he is not very motivated, and there are no other contradictions, so as long as he is motivated, your marriage will have no obstacles, and it can be regarded as perfect. But he gave up on you easily, one is how, and the other is cowardice. You don't have to regret that this marriage is over, I'm the opposite of you, I don't think you're wrong, on the contrary, it's him who is wrong. I think most women will file for divorce when they encounter such a situation, and he has not recovered, so it is not your fault. The reason why you think it's your own fault is because your second marriage was unhappy, so you always think of how good he is to you. The more unhappy you are, the more you remember his good things, and I can see that your second marriage is extremely bad. ”

I listened to the words of the teacher in front of me, and I was speechless with amazement, is he a man or a god? How did he tell me so clearly what was in my heart? And it's as if he knew everything about what was happening to me. I was even more impressed with him. It seems that the people who do this business are really not simple.

"But I always thought that I gave up on him easily, he was such a good person, I said divorce, I was divorced, I was sorry for him, so I had a future marriage, which always thought it was my retribution."

"Marriage is originally a matter of two people, in fact, you don't want to give up on him in your heart, but when you put it up, he agreed, not that you gave up on him, but that he gave up on you. Maybe your relationship is thinking about each other, but it may make him feel depressed. You don't have any guilt about this marriage. You're not wrong, so you don't have to think that your unhappiness is deserved. Completely forgot about this marriage. You didn't feel sorry for him, and he didn't feel sorry for you, so everything was caused by your incompatible personalities and inconsistent ideas. Forget it. ”

I nodded. "You're right, it's probably because the second marriage was so bad that I always remember how good he was to me. At that time, it was not only him who was good to me, but I was also good to him, even if I always quarreled with him, but I still thought about him. The quarrel with him is just hatred of iron and steel. After my second marriage ended, I was persuaded to remarry him. But I told others that I was not qualified to remarry him, because I had already been married again, and it would not be fair to him to go back to him when I was unhappy, and if I had a happy second marriage, I probably wouldn't always think about his well. "I spoke my mind.

"Actually, you are really a very kind person. You blame yourself for the consequences that are not your fault. How many people impose their faults on others? Don't feel guilty about your first marriage anymore. Some things some people should forget and forget, a person who can't be with you to the end is just a passerby in each other's lives. In a person's life, you have to meet a lot of people and many things, and if you want to remember them, it is too tiring. ”

"Yes, you're right. I shouldn't think about that, since I'm gone, whoever the reason is already a fact. I just feel guilty. “

"I've said everything I need to say, you are not wrong about this marriage, you don't have to feel any guilt."