Because I haven't been out much, I don't know much about many tourist attractions, so because the teacher is a tour guide along the way, he said to go wherever he goes. When I arrived at the place, he told me all kinds of knowledge and culture about the attractions and the origin of the names, and I found that he had a wide range of knowledge. Although he is a counselor, he is good at a variety of skills. It can be said to be versatile. So I couldn't help but adore him.

We played together for a long time, and he suggested going to dinner. I told him: "It's okay to eat, but we have to AA system, because I don't want to let him invite me, I don't want to go, and I don't want to eat other people's food for nothing, take advantage of others, but let me invite him, I can't afford to invite him, so the best way is AA." ”

Originally, at the beginning, he insisted on inviting me, saying that since we met, it could be regarded as fate, even if it was an ordinary friend who invited me for a meal, it didn't matter, but after my repeated insistence, he agreed to the AA system.

Although I don't make much money, I definitely don't like to take advantage of the kind of person, no matter who I associate with, I would rather suffer a loss than take advantage. Since we have reached an agreement, we will find a small restaurant to eat, which can be regarded as taking care of my economy, and I don't think it is necessary to be so particular about eating.

I asked for a few home-cooked meals, and we talked while eating. Mr. Yu told me about his experience: "Do you know how my wife died? He said with some difficulty.

"How did you die?" I wasn't at all curious about him, but since he asked me, out of politeness, I asked him.

"In fact, every family has a scripture that is difficult to read, and everyone has a little unspeakable suffering. You look at me as if I am very sunny and positive, and I am doing such an enlightening job, but you don't know that I am not better off than you. My wife committed suicide. I could hear the sadness in his tone.

This sentence really scared me. His wife actually committed suicide, so what kind of man is he? Is it the same as Zhang Xu? Was he once a scumbag, so that his wife was desperate to suicide. As soon as I thought of his wife's suicide and my previous suicide, I suddenly reduced my good impression of him by more than half and regarded him as a person like Zhang Xu.

I didn't speak, just looked at him and listened as he continued.

When he saw that I didn't ask him, he asked me, "Why didn't you ask me why she killed herself?" Do you think I'm a very bad person too? ”

"That's exactly what I thought." I don't hide my thoughts.

My answer didn't seem to surprise him. He said to me, "If you don't ask, I'll tell you that my wife committed suicide because of depression." It's not just you who think I'm a bad person, I think I'm a bad person, I'm a terrible crime, and I cost my wife her life. When my wife died, I was in even worse shape than you are now, and I thought about suicide. I can't sleep every night, I can't sleep night after night, and I can't be idle, as long as I am free, I can think of the picture of my wife lying in front of me, just like acting in a movie, scene by scene. So, I kept walking all day long, and in the middle of the night, even in the early hours of the morning, I would walk alone on the street. No matter who persuaded me, it didn't work. ”

After listening to him, I began to feel a little sympathy for him. So I asked him, "It seems that you care about your wife very much?" ”

"Yes, I care about her very much, she also cares about me very much, and our relationship from love to marriage is very good."

"If that's the case, why did she kill herself? How can a woman with a happy life commit suicide? Did you betray her? Or did you do something unforgivable? "I asked, I thought, the biggest reason for a woman who is married and commits suicide is her husband.

"I didn't betray her, and I didn't do anything to be sorry for her, because our child was gone, that's why she committed suicide because of depression." As soon as I heard what he said, I really couldn't imagine that the man in front of me, this man who was a psychological counselor, had been enlightening others, and he seemed so sunny, but he had such a heart-wrenching experience. As he said, I'm not the most miserable in the world, there are too many people who are more miserable than me, worse than me. I really believe it, his experience is worse than mine.

"I'm sorry, but I reminded you of something sad."

"What does this have to do with you? That's what I want to tell you. Actually, I also want to find someone to talk to, and I have to thank you for being my listener and giving me a chance to vent. So, if you look at the people outside who are all good on the surface, but in fact, their lives are not necessarily going well, and if I don't tell you these things about me, you may think in your heart that I am a very happy person in life. ”

"Yes, I think you should be proud, so successful in your career, you will definitely have a happy family."

"In fact, my life is the worst, do you think, my favorite wife, my favorite children have disappeared in front of me one by one, how many people can withstand such a blow?" It is not an exaggeration to use the words "family is ruined and people are dead" on me. ”

I listened to him talk about himself, and although the expression on his face was painful, he spoke calmly. I don't know why, but I feel a little sorry for the person in front of me. Although I have nothing to do with him at all. He gave me psychotherapy, I paid him, and none of us owed anyone, but, listening to him, maybe it was because of the sympathy, maybe it was because my kind heart was doing the trick, anyway, I just started to feel sorry for him. I even had a feeling in my heart that I wanted to take care of him, but I believe that I didn't fall in love with him. I have become numb to feelings, and I think that I will never love any man again in my life, and I will never marry again. I think it may be a kind of maternal love that I have given birth to, and I want to protect a child who has been injured.

"How did you not have a child?" Although I was afraid of hurting him, although I didn't want him to mention more sad things, but I don't know why, I just blurted out this question.

"You can't even think of it, but when he was very young, it didn't take long to learn to walk, his mother took him out to play, he ran and fell, and he just happened to hit his head on the curb of the road, and he was sent to the hospital without being rescued, so he left."

After I listened to it, I didn't want to ask any more, such stories are too cruel, so it's best not to mention them for the rest of your life, for the person concerned, mentioning it is like pouring salt on the wound.

As soon as I thought of his patience in enlightening me, I suddenly enlightened him: "Let the past pass forever, our lives will go on, so don't mention it again, and mentioning it will only make me more miserable." ”

It seems that it is really a bystander, and the authorities are confused, I myself used to want to seek death wholeheartedly, and now I have become a person who sees everything in front of others.