Even this will not have any goods that need to be shipped, the large roller shutter door of the dock, locked directly from the outside with a lock, and then sit alone in a small room, numb take out the stainless steel cup from the filing cabinet, see the cigarette butts that are almost full inside, decide to go to dinner later, and then pour it in the smoking area, right?

Then while smoking, he took out books, notebooks and ink, and was ready to copy the book, but his fingers were still cramping badly, and it hurt to death, and he took out nail clippers, cut off some calluses, and necrotic blister skin, and put his fingers on the large electric heater to barbecue, as if this would relieve the pain.

Wait for a little relief of some pain, and then feel that wearing a security uniform looks a little bulky, anyway, it affects the normal writing, so take it off, yes, the current self can be said to be very good in the security team, the squad leader will not say himself at all, and the captain will not say, and he does not seem to have to pay tribute to the squad leader and the captain, in short, the other security team members are very envious, and they all said that they gave him the best position, and even the best job with the most oil and water, but the squad leader will only say one sentence every time he hears other security team members complainCan you be as selfless as a madman?

That's right, Dagong is selfless, it turns out that he is a selfless person in the mind of the squad leader or captain, I believe that more people can't do this at all, right? But is this really selflessness in the true sense of the word? Thinking of this, I couldn't help but laugh dumbly, lit a cigarette again, and smoked with a smirk.

And then it was the most painful moment, yes, every night at the beginning of the first moment of holding the pen, the fingers will hurt to the heart, even the same pain as the heart, but if you grit your teeth, or even hold back your tears, hold on for more than ten minutes, and immediately no longer feel pain, and tonight the squad leader also said, no need to patrol, so start writing.

……

At about twenty-four o'clock in the evening, Yaping sent a text message, saying that she had already walked half the way by car, and had strictly followed his instructions, and did not sleep, but felt sleepy, but she could bear it herself, and the madman just picked up the mobile phone, and replied to Yaping with a text message full of comfort, saying that if she insisted on persevering, she would get home or something.

Then at about four o'clock in the morning, Yaping said that she had arrived home, so far she was safe, and her father came to pick her up on a motorcycle, it is estimated that it will take more than an hour to return to the village on the motorcycle, so that the madman he does not have to worry or anything, the madman replied with a concerned word, and asked her to talk more with her family, but after thinking about it, it seems that something is not quite right, so she replied that Yaping asked Yaping to eat something first when she gets home, and then sleep well.

After replying, the madman just continues to write, yes, it's really boring, it's a confusing job, but there is no way to break through for the time being, because I don't know from which direction to break through the current life, this is a kind of purposeless copying in a substantive sense, it's really like that, and it's just to hear others say that their pen words are getting more and more beautiful, which can't make you happy.

Yes, that's true, although I've been thinking about how to break through the current situation, or I'm infinitely eager to find a new direction, but I don't know which direction to go at all, just like the lie I once left casually in front of the hotel maîtress that I want to write wisdom in the future, but it's really just a lie, what is wisdom? Or rather, I don't even understand what I'm doing.

It's another insensitive morning, put on a security uniform, and then get ready to get off work, but when he gets off work, whether it is his male colleague or female colleague, he says bad things about himself in front of the captain and even the squad leader, and there is even a chubby colleague who complains to the squad leader directly in front of the madman, saying that he saw the madman take a water cup during the meal, which is full of cigarette butts or something, so he suspects that the madman is smoking during work hours, or at work.

And the squad leader smiled and just wanted to refute the little fat man, but the captain spoke at first: "Do your own thing, what do you do so widely?" Why are there so many rights and wrongs? ”

That's right, the captain actually reprimanded the little fat man harshly, and the little fat man had to smile bitterly, and after the captain reprimanded, the others didn't dare to say anything, but the madman understood that they hated themselves, really hated, but what did they do wrong? After thinking about it for a long time, I felt as if I had done everything wrong, and I had the best working environment, and even the biggest oil and water, which was simply outrageous, and it was the dream of all team members' colleagues.

But the madman is special, for all these colleagues, even the current squad leader and even the captain, I don't know what the name is, and recently I have only communicated with the squad leader, and other people have not said a word at all, even if it is occasionally other colleagues seem to be full of good intentions to pay attention to themselves, and they are still so cold, it is even colder than this cold wind howling, and it is even colder than the cold rain wanton winter, so everyone says that the madman is a strange person, and even a psychotic, but everyone says, What can change? Anyway, whether it's the captain or the squad leader, this is the one who likes himself the most.

So in everyone's dissatisfaction, no one will pay attention to the madman, but he still changed his security uniform in the extreme cold, and then went home, which is really the case, and other more colleagues live in the company, because the company has a special security dormitory, in fact, the squad leader has invited the madman to live in the dormitory with him, but the madman refused, although he refused, but he did not tell the squad leader that he had a girlfriend, in fact, the colleagues here all thought they were single, and it was really like this.

And I don't want to explain too much, because the explanation doesn't seem to have any meaning at all, just holding an umbrella in numbness, braving the cold wind and cold rain, this is back to my rental house, the rental house is still terrible empty, looking at the fluffy brown bear on the bed, and looking at the notebook and pen that have not moved the slightest bit on the desk, I suddenly feel that my whole heart is empty, but I understand that the current Yaping must be sleeping at home, right? Yes, she must have arrived home.

Then turn on the air conditioner, sit on the edge of the desk in numbness, turn on the lamp, adjust the brilliance of the lamp to the color of the sunset, and then the inner world is a trance, and it is in this trance, and then it is in this trance, and then it is like there is some kind of strange power dominating himself, picked up the pen, and suddenly felt the pain in his fingers, the pain in the heart, it seems that this practice pen words for more than ten hours a day, this is really not a joke.

But what can be done? Anyway, I am so confused and helpless now, and I even thought of my promise to Yaping that I will definitely work hard in the coming year, and then become an excellent man, but what is an excellent man? Could it be a rich man, this is what people call an excellent man, and what Yaping calls an excellent man? If that's the case, then it's really hard.

Sigh...... He let out a long sigh, and then continued to write, at this time he was writing a diary, and after the diary was written, his fingers still hurt unbearably, looking at a few pairs of dirty underwear at the bedside Yaping and thinking, forget it, wash it this morning, right? Or even wash your hair? It's just because the hair is so oily, and it's the dandruff that flies all over the sky as soon as I scratch it, so I boiled the water, and it was burned several times, so I washed my hair, brushed my teeth, and washed Yaping's dirty underwear.

Then I was out of my mind and fell asleep smoking a cigarette, in short, I was still full of confusion and helplessness, I didn't know what I was doing at the moment, it was very empty, gritting my teeth, feeling the pain of my fingers cramping, and holding the fluffy brown bear, but deep down I kept thinking that it would be nice if Yaping was by my side at this moment, maybe I couldn't point out a clear direction for myself, but I definitely wouldn't be as thoughtful as I am now.

……

The boring life continued every day of thinking about Yaping, and soon it was the night of the Chinese New Year's Eve, and now the madman was still sitting in a small room on the dock, still a lonely person, but it was very warm here, and even now he was just wearing a thermal underwear, writing with a pen, looking at the time in his hand, it would be twenty thirty-five in the evening, and then lit a cigarette, it was Da Su, which was originally the cigarette distributed from the squad leader a year ago, because today is the New Year, so I want to smoke a pack of good cigarettes, But this Dasu cigarette is more than forty yuan a pack, but the taste is like this, right?

Then he took out a bottle of strong Beijing Erguotou from the filing cabinet, yes, recently not only the squad leader, but also the captain also knew that he had a habit of drinking, and many colleagues also knew about it, but what does it matter? Anyway, both the captain and the squad leader have been pampering themselves, so they are not afraid of anything.

Another is that there was no camera in this small room, so there was no problem with smoking, drinking, writing, or even not wearing a security uniform.

It was at this time that the mobile phone rang, and he was like a depraved rotten thing, the liquor he was holding in his left hand was casually placed on the computer table, and then he picked up the mobile phone to see if it was a text message or a message from Yaping.